Forged in Fire (The Forged Chronicles Book 3) (3 page)

I
awoke suddenly
. The haze was still there, but I could see through it enough to sit up. I sat there for a few moments thinking over the strange dream I’d had.
The voice
. And the words this unknown man shared with me.

Something was wrong with me. There was absolutely no question about that, but then again I was in a different world and relying on sex with my boyfriend, or whatever I wanted to call him, not to die. At least that’s how it seemed. On the surface his claim seemed preposterous. It almost seemed humorous, like something a teen boy would tell his girlfriend to get more action, but this wasn’t a joke. I’d felt so weak when James and I were apart, and it was only after sex that I felt better. All of that would have been one thing, but now I felt hazy and exhausted all the time unless I was actively having sex with him, and as enjoyable as the sex was, it was impossible to engage in it all the time.

I thought about the claims of the voice in my dream. The haze would lift the further I got from James. This haze was different from the weakness I’d felt before. This was more a clouded mind than anything else. I fought against my exhaustion and moved to my feet. I steadied myself for a moment before starting my search for my clothes again. I circled the room, not bothering with the sheet. It only made it harder to walk around.

I heard the door open from behind me and jumped. James walked in and closed the door behind him.

“It is wonderful to see you out of bed, especially dressed as you are.” His eyes raked over my body.

“Do you know where my clothes are?” I was relieved to see him, but I wouldn’t let him distract me from my goal. I was going to get outside before I fell asleep again.

“Yes.” He walked to the far side of the room and pulled a pile of neatly folded clothes from the floor. “They are dry now.”

“Thank you.” I walked toward him, eager to get dressed.

“But you do not need to get dressed yet.” He grinned.

“I’ve been naked for days. At least I think we’ve been here days.”

“And what is wrong with you being naked?” He put his hands on my hips. “I happen to enjoy it.”

I closed my eyes and savored the feeling of his fingers on my skin. After a moment I forced my eyes open. “Yes, but you get to be dressed.”

“I can get naked too if it makes you feel better.” He grinned.

“No sex, James. Not now.” I fought against the urge to undress him. The desire was too much.

“Your words do not match your expression.”

“I want to go for a walk first.” I stepped into my underwear before I could get too distracted. I followed that up with my bra.

“It is cold outside. At least I think it is.” He wrinkled his brow.

“How can you not know if it’s cold?” I pulled on my shirt and pants. I was glad I’d chosen those instead of a dress when we left Belgard.

“Because my temperature gauge is wrong.” He looked away, and I knew he was lying.

“Why can’t you tell?” I repeated my question, hoping he’d tell me the truth this time.

“It does not matter.”

“Yes it does.”

“Did you still want to go for that walk?” He pointed to the door.

“Yes, but I want to know why you can’t tell if it’s cold out.”

“Maybe I am sick. You are tired all the time, maybe this is my malady.”

I accepted the attempt at an excuse if it meant it would get me outside. Now that the thought of leaving the room had crossed my mind, I refused to let go of it. It was suddenly the most important thing in the world. “I’m ready for the walk.”

“You must promise to stay with me at all times if we go outside.”

“Why?” I stepped toward him.

“Because I need to keep you safe.” He put his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes. “It is my job.”

I shook my head. “Your job isn’t to protect me.”

“Yes it is.”

“Your job is to figure out what’s going on with all those zombie things and make sure your dead father doesn’t destroy the world.” It still sounded crazy when I spoke it out loud. Everything about my life since meeting James was crazy.

“Do not worry about my father. Everything is taken care of.”

I let his words sink in. Did he really believe that? “How is everything suddenly ok?”

“
I
am taking
care of everything so we can be together the way we need to be.”

“You’re acting funny.” I shrugged off his hands and stepped back. “Maybe your whole sick theory is right.”

“Then it is even more important we go for the walk.” He reached out and cupped my chin. “Everything is fine. I just want you to be careful.” He brushed his lips against mine. I closed my eyes and soaked in the sensation. I would never get tired of his lips on mine.

“Ok.” I nodded, I felt exhaustion setting in, and if we didn’t walk outside quickly I was likely to change my mind.

James held open the door to reveal stairs and took my hand. He led me down a steep spiral staircase that seemed to go on forever.

“How high up were we?” I asked as I clutched James’ hand. There was no handrail on either side, and considering how unsteady I felt, I knew letting go could lead to serious injury or death. Neither were experiences I was interested in having.

“Fairly high.” He squeezed my hand. “But we will reach the ground soon.”

“And why are we here exactly?”

“It is a good place to regroup while we plan the next stop.”

“The next stop in what? Didn’t you just say everything was taken care of?” I watched my footing carefully in the dim light seeping into the stairwell from the occasional oval-shaped window in the stone.

“Why do you suddenly doubt me?” James froze, jerking me to a stop.

It took me a moment to regain my balance. “You seem to have changed your tune quickly, and considering I don’t even quite remember how we got here, I have questions.”

“I rescued you from the frozen lake.”

“Did Gregor throw me in?” I thought back on my memories. “That actually happened, didn’t it?”

“Yes.” James’ face tensed. “And I should warn you. He is here.”

“What?” My free hand flew to my chest. “Why?” In a million years I didn’t expect to hear that. Everything being okay did not involve hanging out with the guy who’d try to kill me.

“Because as strange as it sounds, he tossed you in to help you.” James rubbed the back of his neck. “I did not understand at the time, but I do now.”

“How could throwing me into freezing water possibly help me?” Things had gone from bad to worse. If James was out of his mind, where did that leave me? This mess kept getting worse and worse. “Now I know something is up with you if you are even willing to talk to a guy who almost killed me.”

“It is more complicated than it appears.” James tugged gently on my hand. “And I wish it did not have to be.”

“It can’t be more complicated than everything else I’ve already dealt with.” Complicated had taken on new meaning for me.

“But it is.” James let out a slow deep breath. “You have to trust me on this.”

“The guy tried to kill me.”

“Not kill, but he did put you in danger.” James’ expression darkened.. “I swear you will not have to go near him. If it were up to me I would keep you away from him indefinitely.”

“By that you mean keep me up in that tower.” I nodded toward where we’d just left. I was too shaky to point.

“You are not a prisoner.”

“I never said I was.” I didn’t understand the situation enough to really understand what was going on.

“Then why are you acting so defensively and suggesting I am keeping you anywhere?”

“Let’s just keep walking.” I was getting tired again, and the steep stairwell didn’t seem like the ideal place to pass out.

“I think it may be better if you lay down. You look pale.”

“I need fresh air.” I continued down the stairs.

“Ainsley, I am worried about you.”

“Not as worried as I am about you.” I never imagined I could be afraid of James, but I was. Something was off about him, and it was making me question every one of my thoughts and feelings.

“Your memory. It is not what it should be. You have been repeating yourself.”

“I need fresh air.”

“I do not think the air will change anything.”

“And what will?” I fought off the mounting haze. “More sex with you? Because that’s not going to happen.” No matter how much I desired him, I wasn’t sleeping with him until I got some answers.

“This has nothing to do with sex.” James closed his eyes tightly and then opened them. “What happened while I was gone? When I last left you, you were not upset.”

“I still had the memory issues. Isn’t that what you are worried about?”

“We need to talk this through. It will be easier upstairs.”

“I prefer to walk when I talk.”

“Since when?”

“Since forever.”

“You are making that up.” His face softened, and I got my first glimpse of the James I knew. Maybe he was all right after all.

“Ok, maybe I am, but I need fresh air.”

“Will you promise to stay with me?”

“Where else am I going to go?” I had absolutely no where to go. After my own attempt at running away my first time in Energo I’d learned the hard way it wasn’t an easy place to navigate. There were dangers at every turn, including trees.

“I want you safe.”

“I want to be safe too, which is why we need to keep walking. These stairs are getting to me.”

“You should have said that in the first place.” He swept me into his arms and carried me the rest of the way down the stairs.

“You can put me down now.” I watched as he pushed open the heavy stone door.

“It is no trouble for me to carry you.”

“And I appreciate that, but remember part of this was so I got to walk.”

“I thought it was more about the fresh air.”

“The walking also helps.”

He set me down on the ground gently. “It is impossible for me to deny you what you want.”

“That’s not true.” I shook my head.

“Sure it is.” He ran a hand through my hair.

“You’ve said no to me before.”

“When?”

“You tried to stop me from coming outside.”

“Because I was protecting you.”

“You stopped me from going home when we first got to Energo.”

“To protect you. Are you starting to see a pattern here?”

“But what if the question was my safety or my happiness?” I wasn’t quite sure why I was pushing him, but I was.

“You cannot be happy if you are not safe.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes it is.”

“It isn’t.” I put a hand on my hip. “Life involves taking some risks.”

“Yes, taking risks. Like entering a new world. Not taking a risk like purposely putting yourself in danger.”

“The fresh air is nice.” I looked up at the grey sky.

“This area lacks the beauty of Belgard.”

“Are you anxious to get back there?”

“No.” He looked away.

“Why not?” That wasn’t the response I’d been expecting.

“Because I did not leave things on the best of terms when I left.”

“What do you mean?” My chest tightened uncomfortably.

“I knew you were in danger and turned to those I believed were friends.”

“Charlotte and Liam?” I tried to follow his words.

He nodded.

“And they didn’t help?” That surprised me. At least the Charlotte part. Liam was harder to read, but Charlotte cared about James and valued him.

“No.”

“Why not?” I was surprised I hadn’t asked him about this earlier. It was all the haze. It was still there muddling my thoughts, but the fresh air did help.

“Because they could not be bothered.” He kicked the dirt hard with his boot.

“That doesn’t sound like the Charlotte I met.” She’d seemed eager to help anyone in need almost to a fault.

“I’m sorry I even introduced you to her.” James’ face reddened.

“Are you sure she understood?” I had no reason to defend the girl. She was far more James’ friend than mine, but I didn’t understand it. How could she have changed so quickly? Or maybe she hadn’t changed, and she was only looking out for herself? I thought about the voice in my dream. He’d told me to turn to Charlotte. How could I turn to someone who wouldn’t even help her friend?”

“She understood. She knew I had little time but she suggested I wait. She refused to listen to reason so I was forced to go off on my own.”

“You still found me.” I thought back on my relief when James had rescued me from the lake. I’d been terrified that my life was over.

“I did. And I will always find you.”

I met his eyes. “I’m sorry your friends disappointed you. It sucks to find out the people you trusted the most could betray you.”

“You are thinking of your step-sister?”

“Yes.” I looked down. “And my ex. He betrayed me too.” Yet those problems seemed like a lifetime ago.

“I will never betray you.” James’ eyes locked with mine. They were full of such emotion the connection felt physical.

“You did hide information from me.” Important information, and that was something I couldn’t easily brush off.

“I did, and I am sorry.”

I nodded. I couldn’t hold that over his head considering I was hiding information from him. He had no idea about my dream, and I had no plans to change that. As much as I wanted to be open with him, something inside warned me to keep that part to myself.

“Are you ready for that walk?” He held out his arm.

“Absolutely. I’ve never been more ready.”

I
linked
my arm with Ainsley’s as I led her away from the tower. I wanted to make her happy, and if that meant risking the potential of having her near Gregor, I would have to deal with it.

The clearing itself was very small, so the only place to walk was in the forest. There were sure to be creatures inside, but none of them posed a risk to me anymore. The darkness inside of me could defeat anything and everything. Although such immense power was frightening, it was also invigorating.

The power served a purpose. It would help me protect Ainsley, and it would ensure she was always mine.

The thought of losing her swirled through my head. Everyone wanted to take her from me. I was sure of that. Even Gregor, the man my father left to aid me in battle. He could pretend his only goal was the war, but he had other ambitions. I could tell by the way he said her name. I would make sure he never laid a hand on her.

We walked deeper into the forest, and Ainsley held onto my arm tighter. I unlinked our arms and instead put my arm around her. She immediately leaned into my side. I kissed the top of her head. “You are safe with me.”

She rested her head on my chest. “This place is creepy.”

“I cannot deny that.” I pulled her closer. “But it contains nothing that will hurt you.”

“What about tree roots?” She squinted in the growing darkness. “Will they grab me?”

I hated to see her fear, but I knew suggesting we return to the tower would only upset her again. “No. They will not.”

“How do you know?”

Because those roots are in my control now
. I could not speak that answer out loud, so I chose another that was technically true. “Because this is a different forest.”

“Oh.” Ainsley glanced all around. “I kind of thought those were everywhere.”

“Energo is a diverse land as I am sure you have seen. Just as the temperature can change drastically in only a few miles, so can the dangers.”

“I assume there are other dangerous things here.” Ainsley held on tighter.

“Yes.” The most dangerous being me, but she would never need to fear me. I would never hurt her. I promised to keep my heart pure for her, and I had no intentions of going back on the promise.

She adjusted her hold on my arm. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“You can ask me anything.” I stopped and turned her in my arms so we were looking at each other.

“This is very personal.” She grazed her teeth over her bottom lip.

“What could be more personal than the intimacies we are already sharing?” Merely speaking of intimacy had my body aroused. I wished we were back in the tower.

“This is a different kind of personal.”

“Ok. Ask me.” I was unsure what question was coming, but I would answer her. I wanted to be as open with her as possible.

She clasped her hands together in front of her. “Do you have a faith?”

“Faith?” I was taken aback by the question. I am not sure what I expected exactly, but it was not that.

“Yes. I mean. Ok. So all this talk about the Source… it kind of sounds like a religious belief, and…”

“Why are you suddenly asking about the Source now?” I had no interest in talking about the entity that had caused so much turmoil in the life of my father. I had been taught the Source was always right—knew everything and did everything for a reason, but I was unsure what I even believed anymore. I had spent my youth lost, but this new sensation was something different entirely.

“Ok, I don’t want to open wounds or anything by talking about Charlotte, but she and Samantha made it sound like the Source is the ultimate authority on everything.”

“I used to think so.” Before I learned of the treacheries it could commit.

“Used to?” Ainsley put a hand on my arm. “Charlotte and Samantha made it sound like the Source was always right.”

“Of course Charlotte would say that.” I filled with anger, as a foreign memory flooded my mind. It worked the same way as last time. First complete blackness, followed by being forced to watch an unfamiliar scene.

My father grabbed Emma’s arm.

"What are you doing?" Emma hissed. "If Alexander sees you we will both be in trouble."

"I do not need his permission to speak with you.”

"He is my Gerard." Emma glanced around the room as if looking for him.

"By some sort of black magic. There is no other explanation. You know that." My father loosened his hold on her arm.

"He is my Gerard." Her eyes were bright. “I love him.”

My father paled. "Please. Emma think about it.”

"Think about what? I am grateful we never did anything stupid. I cannot imagine having had to explain that to Alexander tonight."

His face reddened. "This is not what the Source intended."

"The Source is always right. Always. I know you are disappointed, but it is time for you to accept that and take your place on my Guard. I need you.”

"You expect me to stand by and watch you with Alexander?" My father’s voice was full of panic.

"You have no choice.” Emma sighed. “He is my Gerard."

“Emma, look at me.” He put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. “Is Alexander truly who you love?"

“What was between us is over. I hope you find your kindred one day.” Emma shook off his hands and ran down the hallway toward the banquet.

He stood there watching as she disappeared from his view. His face was once again full of anguish.

The Gerard, who I now knew was named Alexander, walked over and joined him. “I do not want you speaking with her without me present. You think I do not know what you are doing?"

"You know as well as I do how wrong this is." My father’s hands become fists at his sides.

"It is not for us to decide what is right or wrong." Alexander smiled, and his eyes darkened.

"Yes, it is all the Source." There was sarcasm in my father’s voice.

"The Source and others." Alexander’s eyes darkened further until they were completely black.

"What are you implying?" My father’s eyes widened.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” Alexander’s eyes returned to normal. “Now if you will excuse me, it is time I consummate my union with my Essence.” He grinned and walked away.

My father’s hands balled into fists as he stood in the same place. Moments later he watched as Alexander led Emma up the elaborate stairs of the castle. He hurried out through the castle doors.

“James?” Ainsley repeated my name with alarm pulling me from my father’s memory.

I shook myself. “Yes. Sorry.” The memories pulled me in with no warning, which could be a very big problem.

“Are you okay?’ She watched me with worry. “You were completely spaced out.”

“I was just remembering something.” I was. Although it was not my own memory.

“What were you remembering?”

“Nothing.” I shook my head. “Let us forget it.”

“It had to be something.” Her voice was soft and silky.

“Nothing of importance to you.”

“To me?” She put a hand to her chest.

I had said the wrong thing and upset her, but I was still so shaken up from the memory, confused by how differently it played out from what I had assumed. I took a moment and pushed it all away. “That came out wrong. What I mean is the memory has nothing to do with you, and there is no need to worry you with it.”

“What was it?” She pressed.

I had no interest in lying to her, but the truth was impossible to share. So I went with the closest truth I could. “It was of watching the Essence and Gerard unite.”

“Oh. Charlotte and Liam.” All color drained from her face. “I thought she was like a sister to you.”

“Wait. No. That is not what I mean.” I had messed things up further. “I was not upset about that. At least not for the reason you are implying.”

“Then what are you upset about?” She grazed her teeth over her bottom lip.

“Just the thought of her. Her refusal to help stung.” Once again it was not an outright fabrication.

Ainsley’s face relaxed. “Oh. You are really upset about what she did.”

“I am.”

Ainsley rested her head on my chest. “I know the feeling, and it will get better.” She closed her eyes. “We can go back if you want. It’s getting really dark.”

“I would like that.” I needed it. I needed her. I could feel the darkness spreading through me.

She picked up her head and stared into my eyes. “Thank you for saving me. When Charlotte said no you could have given up.”

“Never. I will never be able to give up on you.” That was true. Even if the darkness continued to spread I would still want her. Need her. But would I still love her? I would. I would find a way.

“How did you find me?” She rested a hand on my shoulder.

“I remembered your dream.” I could not tell her about my father leading me.

“I would be dead without you. Thank you.”

“Thank you for making my life worth living.” There was no exaggeration in my words. She was truly my everything.

“It was worth living before. You were already a Guardian.” Her face darkened. “Wait. That sucks. That really, really sucks.”

“What does?”

“That you can’t just stay away from her. You are bound to protect Charlotte even though she turned her back on you.”

I was no longer bound. The darkness had wiped that clear away, but I could not admit that. “I will do my duty.” I would. Just not a duty to Charlotte.

“Do you think she refused her help because of your Dad? She made such a big deal about you being a different kind of man, but maybe...” Then she looked down. “I am such a bitch. Sorry. Why am I saying all this? I am never like this.” She rubbed her forehead. “Don’t hate me.”

“I could never hate you.” I crushed my lips into hers, uninterested in continuing our conversation but very interested in tasting more of her. I needed her, and suddenly the tower seemed impossibly far away. I pulled her flush against me, letting her feel my hardness so she would know exactly what she did to my body. I cupped her breast through her shirt, warring with myself to stop short of ripping the fabric. There were other men around. I had to control myself. She returned the kiss just as intensely, burying her fingers in my hair as she moaned into my mouth. I squeezed her breast, and she moaned again nearly undoing me. I picked her up, reluctantly breaking the kiss. I was desperate to continue without clothing in our way.

“James, I can walk,” she protested.

I gave no answer. That would only slow me down. Instead I moved into a run toward the tower.

We reached the clearing, and I reached for the door of the tower, but another hand blocked me.

“Ainsley, how nice to see you again.” Gregor grinned as he stepped in front of the door, completely blocking our way.

“Leave us, Gregor.” I resisted the urge to use force against him. That might upset Ainsley.

“Are you unable to walk?” Gregor ignored me and addressed Ainsley where she rested in my arms.

“I can walk.” Ainsley lifted her head. “But James swept me off my feet.”

“Swept you off your feet?” Gregor laughed. “I was unaware you were the type of girl who needed that sort of courting.”

“Courting?” Ainsley raised an eyebrow. “We have moved past any definition of courting I know.”

I grinned. She could be as open about our relationship as she wanted to be.

Gregor appeared taken aback. “Women of your world are far less modest than those I am used to.”

“I have no interest in hearing about your notions of modesty. You tried to kill me.” Ainsley scowled.

“I did no such thing.”

Ainsley shifted in my arms. “Please put me down.”

I did as she asked, but I still kept her close.

“You threw me in a frozen lake.”

“I explained to you it was in your best interest.”

“Being thrown in icy water will never be in my interest.” She put a hand on her hip.

Gregor smiled. “It would have been if James had refrained from pulling you out.”

“We have no time or interest in your theatrics.” I glared at him. “I suggest you step out of the way.”

“Wait.” Ainsley put a hand on my arm. “What do you mean? James saved me.”

“Is that how he explains it?”

“It is the truth.” We still had no idea how well her body would have tolerated the ice.

“You were not facing death. You would have been strengthened. Do you remember nothing of what I told you? About you becoming our queen?”

“I thought that part was from the dream.” She rubbed her forehead.

“It was real.” Gregor locked eyes with her.

“Yeah, I’m not going to be a queen. Nice try though.”

I laughed despite the situation. Ainsley had a sense of humor all her own.

“Why not?” Gregor appeared taken aback. “Does not every woman dream of that?”

“Dream of being a queen? Yeah, not exactly. I never even got into the whole princess phase some girls do. It was never my thing.”

Gregor wrinkled his brow. “Princess phase?”

“I forget. You know absolutely nothing about where I come from.” She looked out toward the woods.

“I plan to learn a lot more.” He smirked.

“What do you mean?” Ainsley turned her attention back to him.

“Gregor…” I warned.

“James has not told you yet?” He appeared pleased.

“Told me what?” Ainsley wrapped her arms around herself.

“Nothing.” I glared at Gregor. This was not how we were going to have the discussion.

“Tell me.” Ainsley turned to me. “And no saying it is not important for me.”

“I already apologized for that.” I was furious at Gregor. He had no right to get involved.

“Tell me. What is Gregor talking about?” She tapped her toe.

“Do not say another word.” I warned Gregor. I could not allow her to find out this way.

“She deserves to know.” Gregor narrowed his eyes.

“Know what? Tell me now!” Ainsley demanded.

“We are going to—” Gregor stared.

I lunged for him and knocked him to the ground. I wrapped my hands around his neck and started to squeeze until the color began to drain from his face. .