Forget Me Not (8 page)

Dominic’s smile widened with approval. “Sounds perfect.” He stepped back into his room long enough to grab his wallet, keys, and sunglasses. It was just the beginning of fall—the sun bright enough that he still needed sunglasses but not so hot that being outside made one sweat to death.

Dominic locked his hotel room door then turned, pressing his hand to the small of Keely’s back. “I’m ready when you are.”

He didn’t miss the small shudder he felt from Keely, and almost withdrew his hand, but then he thought about the fact that he wanted Keely to know he was serious about them. He wanted everyone to know he was with Keely.

“The park isn’t too far,” Keely said as he pushed the stroller. “Just a couple of blocks.”

“I don’t mind the walk.”

“Winter is coming soon, so I’m trying to get the kids outside as much as possible. Once it gets cold and the rain starts, they are going to be stuck in the house.” Keely’s voice was ripe with amusement. “I’m pretty sure by the time spring gets here we’re all going to be going a little stir crazy.”

“How big is that house of yours?”

Keely glanced up, his confusion clear in the frown on his face. “Six bedrooms, four bathrooms.”

“Basement?”

Keely nodded.

“Finished basement?”

Keely shrugged. “Sort of. I mean, it has walls and everything, but it’s kind of…I don’t know, blank. The laundry room is down there.”

“Anything else?”

“Not really. I think the previous owners used it for storage or something.”

“Have you ever considered making it into a playroom for the kids? Unless you plan on moving right away, they are going to need some place to play for quite a few years to come. You could get some of that wipe-away paint. You know the stuff. The kids can draw on the walls and you can just wipe it away.”

Keely blinked up at him. “How do you know about kid-friendly paint?”

Dominic felt his face flush as he glanced away. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this uncomfortable. His pushed his hands into his pocket, clearing his throat. “I did a little research.”

He had to do something to pass the time while he waited to see if Keely would call. Hoping that Keely would allow him to stay, Dominic had started searching the Internet, trying to learn everything he might need to know about raising two kids.

He was a little amazed at what was out there. He certainly didn’t remember any of the stuff he had come across being there when he was a kid. If Keely allowed him to help raise the kids, they would need to have a serious talk about how they raised the kids. Dominic wasn’t sure a potty chair with an iPad attached was such a good idea.

Keely didn’t say anything about Dominic’s admission, but a small smile played across his lips. “The basement would be a good place to build a playroom.”

“I was just thinking that there were going to be times when you needed them out of your hair for a little while. If it’s raining or something, it’s not like they can go outside and play.” Dominic shrugged. “It seemed like a good idea when I thought about it.”

“No, you’re right,” Keely replied. “It is a good idea. I’ll have to give it some thought.”

“Well…uh… if you need any help painting or anything…” Dominic left the rest of his words unsaid. Keely knew what he was offering. The ball was in his court now. Dominic didn’t want to push.

Dominic pressed the elevator call button and stood next to Keely as they waited. The silence between them was awkward. Dominic just didn’t want to say anything that would send Keely running. He felt like he was walking around on eggshells.

“So,” he finally said when he couldn’t stand the silence any longer, “how do you like practicing law here?”

Keely’s chuckle relieved some of Dominic’s tension. “It’s not big city law, that’s for sure. But I think it’s even better. Most of my clients are people I’ve met around the area since I’ve been here.”

“Any juicy cases?”

Keely laughed again. “Nothing I can talk about.”

Dominic grinned. “Happiness looks good on you.”

“Yeah?” Keely’s eyebrows rose. “How so?”

Dominic held the elevator door open when it arrived and the doors slid open. He waited until Keely pushed the stroller in and then stepped inside himself, hitting the lobby button.

“I don’t know. You seem more relaxed.”

“I think it’s less relaxing and more not worrying about the small stuff.” Keely nodded to the two small children in the stroller. “I have bigger things to worry about than whether my curtains match or not.”

Dominic inhaled slowly as he shoved his hands in his pockets. “You really hated that house, didn’t you?”

“I’m not going to lie to you, Dom. I did hate it. It was a really nice, fancy house, but there was no warmth there. It was like living in a chrome fishbowl.”

Dominic winced, mostly because Keely was right. A huge glass domicile with floor-to-ceiling windows and lots of white and black and chrome. There hadn’t been an ounce of warmth in the place, not even when the gas fireplace was burning. He just wished he had seen it before sinking over a million dollars into the place.

“You like your house.” Hell, Dominic liked Keely’s place. It was cluttered, older, and well lived in, but it was warm. It was a house a family lived in.

“I do like my house,” Keely admitted. “It’s…comfortable.”

“Comfortable.” Dominic chuckled. “That’s a good word.”

Keely beamed up at him. “It is a good word, isn’t it?”

Dominic felt lighthearted as the elevator doors slid open and he followed Keely out. Keely was smiling and laughing. He hadn’t run screaming, even when Dominic asked hard questions. That had to mean something, didn’t it?

Dominic tried to show interest in all the little shops and cafés Keely pointed out to him as they headed for the park, but he had a really hard time pulling his eyes away from the man.

He had always been captivated by Keely. That hadn’t changed in the months they had been apart. If anything, that obsession had only grown stronger, more intense.

Keely stopped pushing the stroller as he gave Dominic a fixed stare. “Are you even listening to me?”

“Yes.” Dominic nodded. “You told me that the bakery has great Danishes but I need to get there early on Saturday morning to get the warm ones because they are the best.”

He pointed to the next store. “The guy at the bookstore will order just about any book I want except comic books because he believes they pollute the minds of our youth.”

That was a really interesting look on Keely’s face. Dominic was sure if it was surprise or confusion…maybe a bit of annoyance.

“The last shop on the block is a computer store. While they offer great deals on parts, most of their prebuilt systems are out of date. They don’t do laptops.”

“Okay, so you were listening.”

Dominic managed a small, tentative smile even though he felt like the ground beneath his feet was swaying. “I learned my lesson, Keely. I’ll always listen to what you have to say.”

A tremor touched Keely’s smooth, marblelike lips. He nodded and started pushing the stroller again. “We’ll see.”

That wasn’t a no.

Keely stretched his legs out casually before him as he watched Dominic attempt to bounce Carrie on his lap.
Attempt
being the key word. It was blatantly apparent to anyone looking that the man had never held a child before in his life.

But it was amusing watching him try. And Dominic was trying, with more than just the baby. He was attentive, thoughtful, and charming. Even being unsure, he was still trying to help out.

And Keely was terrified it wouldn’t last. What was going to happen when the next business venture caught Dominic’s interest? What was he going to do the next time he had an emergency and Dominic didn’t answer his phone?

He had spent the last few days agonizing over questions like that. He thought he could keep Dominic and protect his heart, but now he wasn’t so sure. He loved Dominic and he knew that Dominic loved him, but he wasn’t sure that was enough.

And he wasn’t sure he had the right to bring Dominic into the lives of two small children that had already lost so much, especially if he wasn’t sure if Dominic was going to stick around. As much as he loved the man, letting him go might be the better choice.

Keely smiled and sat forward when Carrie started to fuss. He had kept her out long past her afternoon nap. She still wasn’t sleeping through the night, although Keely had been told by other parents that it should happen soon. He wasn’t holding his breath.

“I think it’s time to pack up and get these guys home for their nap.”

Dominic glanced up. “I’d like to help.”

Keely’s hands shook as he took the baby out of Dominic’s arms and started getting her settled into the stroller. “I just need to get everything packed up.” And then maybe he needed to go home and reassess his level of sanity.

The silence was heavy, oppressing, making it hard to breath. He rigidly held his tears in check.

“Don’t do this, Keely,” Dominic whispered in a choked voice. “Please.”

Keely pressed his lips together as he picked Danny up and strapped him into the stroller. He needed to hold on just a little longer and then he could fall apart.

When Keely went to pack up the remains of their picnic, his movements grew frantic. They were in the middle of the park and he was unraveling. He wasn’t sure he was going to make it home before he crumbled. And he certainly didn’t want anyone to see him fall apart, especially Dominic.

Keely tried three times to get the plastic lid on the left over apple slices. The damn thing wouldn’t go on. He didn’t realize he was crying until Dominic grabbed his hands and stopped his movements.

“Sshhh. It’s okay, baby.” Dominic took the container from him and effortlessly fitted the lid on then placed it inside the small bag the food had been transported in. He grabbed everything else and neatly placed it in the bag before sliding the back onto the bottom of the stroller.

Keely winced when Dominic’s fingers dug into the back of his neck. He shuddered as soft lips pressed against his forehead. Dominic’s voice was harsh and raw when he spoke, “Never forget that I love you, Keely.”

Tears choked Keely as he watched Dominic stand and then walk away, never looking back as he left the park and headed back down the street toward his hotel. Keely sat there and watched until the man disappeared from sight.

He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, staring down the street, waiting, watching. Dominic never appeared again. Eventually, he stood and started pushing the stroller back toward his house.

He was on autopilot as he got home and unpacked, put the kids down for their nap, cleaned, and made dinner. By the time he put the kids to bed, he felt achy and exhausted.

He poured himself a glass of tea and walked out onto the porch to sit on the steps. Despite his efforts to remain numb, his mind returned to its tortured thinking.

They had reached a point where their relationship needed to be resolved once and for all. Keely knew he didn’t trust Dominic to be there when he really needed him. But his heart hurt just thinking about letting the man go and never seeing him again. And Keely didn’t know how to bridge the two.

That thought barely crossed his mind before another one took its place. What would his life be like if he let Dominic go? He knew that was what he needed to do, but the heartache he saw before him made his stomach clench. He didn’t know how to have Dominic in his life and he didn’t know how to let him go.

Keely’s fingers trembled as he pulled his cell phone out. He went through his list of contacts until Dominic’s name came up, and then he just stared at the number, his finger hovering over the dial button.

Would Dominic answer? Keely had basically sent him on his way, giving the man no encouragement that there might be a future for them. Dominic had no reason to answer, and Keely shouldn’t expect him to. But he needed answers he was pretty sure only Dominic had.

Keely hit connect and then blew out a breath as he held the phone to his ear.

“Keely?” Dominic’s deep rich voice filled his ears. “What’s wrong?”

Two rings.

Keely was surprised.

And impressed.

“Ho–how am I supposed to learn to trust you again?” Was that what he wanted to say? “I want to.” Keely’s voice broke. “I want to so bad, but I don’t know if I can.”

“I don’t know, baby.” Dominic sounded so tired, and there was a small wobble to his voice.

“I keep thinking everything will be okay and then I remember and I know I can’t go through that again. And you can’t ask me to.”

“I know.”

“Damn it, Dominic.” Keely pressed his hand against his lips when a sob threatened to break free.

“I’m sorry, Keely. I don’t know how many times I can say that before you believe me.”

“I believe you, Dominic,” Keely whispered as he clenched his hand into a fist and dropped it to his lap, staring down at it. “I’m just not sure that’s enough.”

Dominic’s shaky inhale was audible. “What do you want me to say, Keely?”

“I don’t know.” Keely wiped the moisture away from his eyes. “Why does this have to be so hard, Dom? It never used to be. Things were always so easy between us.”

“They were.” A soft chuckle rumbled across the phone line. “We fit together from the very beginning.”

“Is that why things are so hard now?” Keely asked. “Are we paying for how easy it was before?”

“I don’t think it works that way, Keely.”

“No, I suppose not.”

Keely sighed, weary of the argument but not sure how to end it, at least not without losing everything. “I’m tired, Dominic.”

“You need to rest.”

“Right.” Keely snickered. “You do remember that I have two small infants, right? I don’t think I’ve had a full night’s sleep in weeks.”

“I could help,” Dominic replied. The hesitation in his voice was loud, blaring, yet said in a whisper. “I want to help. I want to help in any way you will allow me to.”

Keely licked his lips. “I’m scared, Dom.”

“I know, baby.”

Keely dropped his phone when he heard Dominic’s voice right in front of him. He looked up, his jaw dropping. “What are you doing here?”