Forget You (17 page)

“Hi!” A wide grin spread across my face at
the sight of him. My pulse pounded in my chest, becoming the only
thing I could hear. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, um, my car is still parked out front,
so I figured I’d swing by and get it. I wanted to say hello before
I did though,” he said.

“Oh, okay.” I stepped to the side. “Come on
in.”

“Thanks.” He glided past me and into my
apartment quickly. “I’ve been out there a while.” He reached out,
and grabbed a few damp locks of my hair. “I can see now it was
because you were in the shower. I knew I should have gotten here
sooner.” He grinned.

“I’m sorry. I heard you knocking. I just
figured you were Tammy, my neighbor, asking for milk or something
again.”

“Nope, just me.” He shucked off his
snow-covered shoes, and peeled off his coat. “I’m glad you’re here
though, because I didn’t want to head home without seeing you
first.”

I bit my bottom lip at his words. The desire
to wrap my arms around him, and press my lips to his was nearly
overwhelming. “I wouldn’t have wanted you to head home without
seeing me first either.”

Sawyer reached out and snaked an arm around
my waist, pulling me into him. His lips brushed against mine in a
featherlight kiss as though he could read my mind.

“How has roughing it through the storm been
for you?” he asked once he pulled away.

I shrugged. “All right, I guess. I’ll need to
venture out either later today or tomorrow for sure though. If not,
I’ll starve.” I chuckled.

“The roads aren’t too terrible right now. The
DOT managed to do something to all the major roads and highways, so
if you can make it to one of them you’re golden. Andrew has
four-wheel drive. He was able to make it here without any issues.
Doesn’t your Escape have four-wheel drive?”

I ran my hands along his forearms, and stared
into his eyes. There was something off about him. I’d only known
him for a week or so, but in that time, I’d learned he was
generally relaxed, and always had a sense of humor bubbling beneath
the surface of everything he said. Right now though, that was all
gone. It was replaced by an odd, out of place sense of tension.

“Yeah, it does. I’ve never used it though.
I’ll probably just keep eating Ramen noodles until everything
clears up completely,” I admitted with a small smile. Had something
happened while he was out there on the highway? Was he just
tired?

“How about I drive you to the store in your
vehicle?” he asked, slipping his hands up and down my lower back,
kneading the skin there.

“You don’t have to. I can wait. It’s fine,” I
insisted.

“No, I’ll take you. I don’t mind.” His jaw
seemed to grow tight.

My mind snapped back to the news story I’d
heard, to the shooting. I suddenly wondered if he’d witnessed it.
Maybe that was the reason he was tense and sounding slightly off.
It would be understandable, if that were the case. Even if it
wasn’t, I was sure the pressure of calming all those people, and
the energy of the situation out there would be enough to frazzle
someone.

I slipped out of his grasp, and walked to the
couch to sit. The moment I did so, he reached for my hand, and his
fingers interlaced through mine quickly. A slight smile twisted the
corners of my mouth. Was it insane to think of how much I loved the
feel of his skin on mine, regardless of where the contact was?

“How did it go out there?” I asked.

At first Sawyer didn’t utter a word, he just
stared off into space. When we sat, I tucked my legs beneath me,
and eyed him. I wondered if I should say something more. Should I
wait to say anything about what I’d seen on the news until he
brought it up himself? Awkward silence pressed in on me from all
angles as I waited for him to speak.

“It went…” He ran his free hand through his
hair, and dropped his stare to the coffee table. “I don’t know. Did
you see the news?”

When his eyes lifted to mine, darkness had
clouded the normally electric blue into something else. His brows
drew together as his lips pinched into a thin line while he waited
for me to answer.

I nodded. “Yeah.”

Panic slithered through me. Had he been on
that particular highway stretch? Had he seen what had happened to
those two guys?

Sawyer swallowed before speaking, his Adam’s
apple bobbing in his throat. “I was there, only three cars away,
when the first shot rang out.” A wistful look flickered across his
face, as though he was seeing the memory play through his head in
vivid detail. “When it happened, and the young guy went down, I
darted to the shooter in an attempt to get him to put the gun down.
For whatever reason though, he decided he no longer wanted to be
here, in this world, and pulled the trigger after placing the
barrel to his temple. It was right in front of me. All of it.”

There were no words for what he’d witnessed.
Reaching out, I caressed his forearm, hoping it would soothe him in
some way. It was all I could manage. When we lapsed into silence
brought on by the heavy moment, it wasn’t awkward or unbearable. It
was charged with all the things I wanted to say in an effort to
comfort him, but couldn’t find the right words to.

“There was this little boy there. He couldn’t
have been older than seven, but he saw the whole thing.” Sawyer
smoothed a hand over his face as though he were wiping the memory
of the boy’s expression out of his mind. The scratchy sound of his
skin brushing against the thick stubble of his facial hair reached
my ears.

I wasn’t good at handling situations like
this—ones that were heavy and sad—but I could be a good listener,
when I wanted to be. This was all I could offer him in the moment,
and I hoped it would be enough. Exhaling a breath I hadn’t realized
I’d been holding, I swallowed hard as I waited for him to continue,
if he wanted.

A puff of air passed through Sawyer’s lips,
and he brought his eyes back to lock with mine. “I think that’s
what’s hitting me the hardest. He’d been so happy, so full of life
before, and then after, his entire view of the world had shifted.
It was clearly reflected in his eyes. I hate that.”

“I’m sure you did everything you could have
done, that your entire unit did,” I offered, even though I was
positive my words would do nothing to curb the emotions surging
through him, that they wouldn’t dissolve the images forever etched
into his memory from that specific moment. “Sometimes bad things
happen, and there just isn’t anything you can do to prevent them,”
I said.

This was what a shrink had once told me. It
had been a motto she’d wanted me to adopt. I’d thought it would
never stick, that I’d never find a moment where it would fit. Until
now, speaking with Sawyer.

He scoffed, and shook his head. “I know. I
just wish I could have done more.”

I remained silent while he attempted to
figure out what he could have done differently to save the little
boy from witnessing such a tragedy. Now would be a chance to
reiterate that motto, to say something meaningful and worthy of the
situation, but nothing came to me. I continued to run my fingers
across the length of his forearm, chewing on my bottom lip.

“I knew going into this there was a chance
I’d see death, but I guess the possibility had always seemed far
away and unreal somehow. Until now. It’s real now, and I guess it’s
just something I’ll have to accept in this line of work. A sad,
unavoidable truth.”

“Can you?” My voice may have come out as a
whisper, but I felt as though those two words held loads of impact.
He needed to ask himself that question. Truthfully.

Sawyer shifted his cobalt eyes to meet mine.
There were still flecks of that darker blue, the one that seemed
tainted by sadness, swirling in their depths. “I have to.
With
pain comes strength
. I think this week I just became a little
stronger.”

His words sounded clipped and harsh, as
though his tattoo had taken on a whole new meaning for him. One
he’d never truly intended it to. Either that or he’d added a new
level to it, another layer to the reason why it resonated with him
so deeply to begin with. I couldn’t be sure, but I did know one
thing…I’d just bore witness to a change in Sawyer Keeton, and I
wasn’t sure if it could be considered a good thing or not.

SAWYER

“Here. What about this?” I handed Eva a
strange ornament I found that looked like a pickle, for whatever
reason. We were Christmas shopping at the mall in Carver. Eva had
said she was looking for unique gifts for her friends, but a
pickle-shaped tree ornament must not fit the bill, because she
crinkled her nose and handed it back to me.

“I don’t think so. Who wants one of those
hanging on their tree?” she asked point blank.

Cramming my hands into my coat pockets, I
resumed scanning the items on the lower shelves.

“Are you getting me something?” I asked. An
odd tension filled the air between us. “I’m getting you something.
I just haven’t figured out if you’ve been bad or good this year. I
don’t think I’ve hung out with you enough to make my final
decision,” I said in an effort to lighten the mood.

Truth be told, over the last couple weeks,
we’d grown closer, inseparable really. We had the type of
connection that made it feel as though we’d known each other our
whole lives. We were comfortable. Eva got my witty one-liners and,
at times, my odd behavior like no one ever had before. This thing
between us was effortless, something I’d never felt before with
anyone.

Eva laughed. “Are you Santa or
something?”

“Don’t I wish. Santa has the best job ever.
You do know the real reason why he’s so damn jolly all the time,
don’t you?”

She shook her head. “No, why?”

We started down the next aisle of goodies. It
was filled with different-colored spatulas, can openers, and mixing
bowls. This store was odd. It held everything you could possibly
ever need under its roof and then some, but nothing went together.
There was no theme or sense of organization. What I found to be
even stranger than that though, was why Eva insisted on buying her
friends something they could
use
. Maybe it would be okay if
it were a Blu-ray player, but a spatula? What was the point in
searching through this stuff? There was nothing of value in this
store.

“He knows where all the bad girls live.” I
arched a brow and flashed her a wicked smile, the same one I’d
learned over the last few weeks was her favorite.

“Oh my God,” she muttered. A wide grin swept
across her face, and I knew I’d succeeded in my goal for the day—to
make her laugh at least twice. “That’s horrible—horribly funny—but
still horrible nonetheless.” She cracked up.

“Thank you.” I grinned, glad to see her
relax.

She’d been tense and crazed from the moment
we stepped inside the mall. Either it was the loud Christmas music
blaring through the speakers, or the rude people rushing past us in
a mad dash from all angles struggling to find the perfect gift for
their loved one as well.

I hated Christmas shopping.

“Where do you come up with this stuff?” she
asked once she had gained control of her laughter.

I shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. Either I
read it somewhere or heard it from my brother once, I’m not
sure.”

Eva’s eyes flickered to mine, and she set the
frog-shaped timer she’d been looking at down. It was rare that I
mentioned my brother, something she obviously had picked up on, but
wasn’t ever willing to discuss further. This was another reason I
enjoyed being around her so damn much. She didn’t know Ryker or
what had happened to him, so there was no dramatic level of
sympathy instantly etched into her features every time I mentioned
him, just a normal amount that lingered for all of two seconds
before she tucked it away again.

I wasn’t sure what Eva thought had happened
to my brother, or if she even grasped the fact that he was no
longer with us. For all I knew, she thought he and I had a major
falling out. Either way, she never asked for more information. Each
time his name was mentioned, she acted as though she was waiting to
see if I would elaborate and give her some clarity on the
situation.

One day I would, but not today.

“What about this?” She held up a wine opener
with arrow buttons. “Think Paige would like this?”

It was her way of steering us past an awkward
silence. I’d come to realize she was good at this type of thing, an
expert of sorts.

“A wine opener?” I crinkled my nose,
mimicking the expression she’d shot me when I handed her the pickle
ornament.

“What? Paige likes wine. Maybe this would be
something she’d use.”

“First off, I’ve never met her, so I can’t
tell you what I think she would like. Come to think of it, I have
yet to meet
any
of your friends.” My mind chose that moment
to catch hold of the realization and grasp on tightly. “Why have I
never met your friends?”

“It goes both ways, you know,” she said.
“Your friend Andrew even came by my apartment, twice, and never
stopped inside to say hello. Besides, neither of us has hung out
with anyone except for each other lately.”

She was right. What the hell?

“Oh no, we’ve become the antisocial couple
who seclude themselves from their friends over time. Look what
you’ve done to me,” I teased.

“Whatever,” she muttered before doing her
famous eye roll. “You’re meeting my friends soon.”

Her friends were throwing a Christmas party,
which Eva had insisted I come to. It was in a week. This was why we
were scurrying around the mall with all the other crazed
last-minute shoppers attempting to find them each the perfect gift.
Apparently, Eva was a last-minute shopper, while I was far from it.
If I saw something throughout the year I felt someone I knew would
enjoy, I bought it right then. This resorted in me being finished
with my shopping around October every year.