Forgive Me Father For I Have Loved (47 page)

Dane thought his heart had stopped as he re-read the line over and over again, recollecting how the lights at his wedding did in fact mysteriously go out, then again at the reception hall. Two different venues, yet the exact same experience. Josh obviously wanted to make it perfectly clear that he was in fact there. He swallowed deeply before he could move forward with the letter...

I’ll do that, to let you know that I see you, and I was there and you can scoot Joseph over, because I’m the best man!

“God, Josh.” Dane laughed lightly, feeling both sadness and joy.

So, anyway, that’s what I needed to say to you, Dane. I needed to say it and I could only rest easy, after it is all said and done, knowing that I had gotten it off my chest. I’m sorry if it is upsetting to you, but I love you, and sometimes the truth hurts but real love, the kind that you deserve, rarely even leaves a blemish. I want you to have that.

Love Always Until I see You Again Mr. ‘Great Dane’ The big Dog of Michigan!

Josh

Dane wasn’t certain how long he sat there with the whiskey bottle in one hand and the letter in the other, but his wife’s gentle touch on his shoulder brought him into the present.

“Dane,” she whispered, “What’s wrong? I’ve been calling your name for over five minutes and finally found you up here, behind all these boxes. You look really upset, baby, what happened? What is the matter?” With her index finger, she gently wiped a small tear from the corner of his eye.

He looked at her, put the letter and empty bottle in the box and grabbed her close to him. “Nothing, nothing is wrong at all...everything is just right!”

~***~

Three years later...

“So that’s it for today. Please read chapter twelve for the test next week and we will discuss British empiricism and contemporary cognitive science on Monday.”

Dane watched his students gather their belongings and head out the classroom. He was looking forward to the weekend after this long, dreary Spring Friday, and he wanted to get home to his family. But as he gathered his computer and books, he was startled by a knock at the door, and then it suddenly swung open.

“What are you doing here?” His heart still flipped when he laid eyes on her or heard her voice, and now even more so as she stood holding their eighteen month old daughter, Sophie, in her arms. “I thought you were really busy, you know, with the new record release coming soon. I was going to rush home to see what you cooked so I could wolf it down and cuddle with you two on the couch.” He grinned.

She drew closer and planted a firm kiss on his lips, then he ran his hand over Sophie’s thick, black curls with little white bows adorned in them and kissed her cheek.

“Hi, DaDa!” she squealed.

“Hi, sweetheart.” He leaned down and kissed the little girl once more.

“Well, we thought,
instead
of that, we’d take Daddy out to dinner for his favorite pizza.” She looked at Sophie, bouncing her in her arms. “Ain’t that right, baby doll?” She grinned.

“Sounds like a plan to me, finding your way to my heart through my stomach. See? I’m easy to please.”

“Oh, this isn’t about you, honey. That’s just an excuse. This is for
me
. These cravings I am having are ridiculous. Your son is greedy as hell! Did you take a good look at him on the sonogram from last week’s doctor’s visit? He is
huge
! I will be glad when he is out of my stomach. He is killing my back and I can’t get a good night’s rest. He thinks my uterus is a twenty-four hour night club.” she laughed as she ran her hand over her protruding belly.

“Yeah, blame it on our son, he isn’t here yet to defend himself. I think you like being up late, watching all those silly programs at three in the morning!” he teased.

They laughed and spoke quietly to one another as he grabbed his bag, placed the strap over his shoulder, and took his wife’s hand. A hint of seduction glimmered in her mahogany eyes as they walked out of the college classroom door.

While heading toward the exit, a poster of ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ caught his eye. The way it was drawn for the play advertisement reminded him of the statue in the parish he’d served. Dane had experienced peace,
total
nirvana, for the first time in his life after falling in love, head over heels, with Rhapsody. As they continued to walk hand in hand, he reflected on that final night when he’d packed up his belongings in the rectory and walked out those church doors for the final time. He’d stood there, looking at the golden statue of Jesus nailed to the cross that he’d prayed before thousands upon thousands of times, the candles still lit from his silent prayers only moments before. He stood there, staring into Jesus’ eyes, the pain etched hauntingly on the Savior’s carved face. Dane clasped his hands and lowered his head humbly and said one simple sentence before he left St. Michael’s forever to go forth and claim his new life once and for all,” Please forgive me Father, for I am in love...” And then he turned and walked away, into a new life filled with sobriety, passion and serenity in his heart forevermore...

THE END

1. In
this story, there is quite a bit of intentional symbolism. One example is the use of weather to forecast changing events. Rain shower, for example, are used to denote an evolution in character through an experience or life-changing conversation/event. Another example of symbolism in the book is that Paris is mentioned in various ways (written across an umbrella, a poster on the high school music room door, etc.) to give way to Dane and Rhapsody’s final destination, that being their honeymoon and her eventual landing of a recording contract. What are some other examples of symbolism you have noticed in this book?

2. In what way do you believe Rhapsody’s lack of a father, due to his early death, affected her choices in men? Do you believe women without father figures may be more prone to pick mates that are not emotionally healthy for them?

3. Dane and Rhapsody spent quite a bit of time wrestling with their emotions about the friendship as it turned into something more. Dane didn’t want to leave his vocation, he enjoyed being a priest. Rhapsody felt she may be once again be drawn to men that were not really available, on some level, for a relationship. Why do you believe they were able to get through that and finally accept that they were in love, and handle the situation at hand?

4. What impact, if any, do you believe that Dane and Rhapsody’s nonverbal flirtation with one another in high school affected their courtship later down the line?

5. Dane comes from a dysfunctional family, as many people do. Due to this, he learned of disturbing information about his loved ones, yet, he was trusted to keep their confidences. What do you believe it was about him that made people confide in him and trust him with their deepest secrets?

6. Dane is a recovering alcoholic. However, he appears to be a unique one in the sense that he had many people fooled regarding his addiction. However, he never had a problem admitting it, regardless of his ability to play the part of being sober. Now that he has left the priesthood, married and had children, do you think it will be easier for him stay sober, as he believes?

7. Rhapsody and her older sister, Melody, have a tumultuous relationship that starts to mend toward the end of the book. Have you seen sibling rivalries such as this and how do you believe it affected both women in their day-to-day lives?

8. When Dane and Rhapsody made love for the first time, it was an intense, spiritual awakening for them. Dane felt things he had never experienced before and instead of having guilt, he was even more drawn to her. During his meeting with Bishop Thayer and Fr. Kirkpatrick, he stated that he’d fornicated and he had his reasons. Besides his physical desire for her, what other reasons may he have had to consummate their relationship?

9. Dane and Josh had a very strong bond. When Josh passed, Dane tumbled out of control into a world of depression. Have you, or someone close to you, lost a very dear friend and felt similarly (a great sense of loss)?

10. Dane was close to his mother, though he also resented her for many things during his childhood. Yet, still, he loved her very much and wanted to keep her protected. What reasons do you believe he had for trying to keep her and the rest of the family intact for so long? He was the glue, and when he no longer did as was expected, everything fell apart. What was it about Josh’s death and Rhapsody’s love for him that helped him make the transition to stop being ‘the rock’ for everyone?

Tiana Laveen was born in
Cincinnati, Ohio and now resides in the Southern Midwest with her husband, two children, and twisted imagination.

She enjoys a fulfilling and enriching life that includes writing books, public speaking, drawing, painting, listening to music, cooking, and spending time with loved ones. Her novels have been published as follows: Her first book series entitled "Cross Climax" tackles interracial dating, marriage, and sexual relationships head on without any false bravado. "Cross Climax I" and "Cross Climax II" allow the reader to dive headfirst into short stories that are packed with seduction, romance, and heart-pounding punch. The two novels in conjunction lead to a surprising, but fulfilling conclusion. Her third novel, "The Slave Master's Son," transports readers back to a time and place where interracial relationships were not accepted by the dominant society. The novel delivers a scintillating, historical account of one family's struggles to deal with love, lust, and consequences.

More recent titles include:  

“I Want Candy”, the story of a woman struggling with the emotional issues of weight loss and gain, and how it pertains to love in her life.

“The Naughty Sins of a Saint”, the story of an eccentric, sexy, erotic half Egyptian, half Korean sex therapist turned world-renowned author and public speaker who worships the ground black women walk on. It is the story of untapped potential, love, and truth with a paranormal, sensual twist. “When Saint Goes Marching In”, the sequel to “The Naughty Sins of a Saint”, and the most recent installment, “Saved and SAINTified”   “Swirled Satin Sheets I” and “Swirled Satin Sheets II”, both anthologies (multicultural romance/ erotica) . 

“In My Sister's Shadow”, a novella for those that enjoy a good scare.

And “Addicted In Cold Blood”, an erotic sci-fi thriller filled with drama, twists and alien love.

If you wish to contact Tiana Laveen, please connect with her at www.facebook.com/ tianalaveen. Go to her FAN page on Facebook and have exclusive access to special contests. She is also on twitter at: twitter.com/ Tiana Laveen

Thank you for the purchase of my book, “Forgive Me Father, For I Have Loved” and for taking the time to read it. I hope you enjoyed it and I look forward to bringing you more stories and tales in the near future.

Blessings to you,

Tiana Laveen