Forgive Me Father For I Have Loved (39 page)

Melody shrugged. “I had things to do, Rhapsody. Believe it or not, the world doesn’t revolve around you,” she taunted, using her sister’s former words against her.

“So, you’re still mad because I said you couldn’t go to Paris with me and not to talk to me until you changed your attitude? You know, you are more than welcome to go on your own. I don’t owe you
anything
. I’m over your drama, Melody.”

Melody’s eyes turned to slits.
“I never ask you for anything, Rhapsody. You said you were going to Paris, I asked if I could tag along and you said, ‘No’. I guess you couldn’t wait to try and get me back for some unforeseen injustice you think I did to you.”

Rhapsody shook her head and yawned, looked at the television briefly, then back at her sister.

“I didn’t call you over here to argue. I called you to tell you that I am getting married. And for the record, I will be spending my honeymoon in Paris. The timing lined up well. Regardless, this is a waste of time. I should’ve just saved you the trip and me the energy. Next time, I will tell our mother that I can’t do this with you, no matter how much she wants us to get along.” Slamming the half empty cup down on the coffee table, she got up, threw her army green bag over her shoulder and marched to the front door.

“Wait...wait a minute, Rhapsody,” Melody called out, her voice cracking.

Rhapsody stopped and looked over her shoulder, fully expecting to hear more bullshit. Instead, she was met with a somber expression—her sister sitting there, folded up and her face ashen with concern.

“Come back and sit down please, Rhapsody...”

Rhapsody hesitated, then made her way back to her chair and sat erect, on the edge—just in case the next thirty seconds proved she’d get more of the same, she’d make a quick and hasty get-a-way.

“Look,” Melody looked down at her folded hands, her perfectly arched brows knitted as she ran her thumb up and down the inside of her hand. “We need to talk...we have a lot of stuff between us, things I didn’t want to talk about.”

“And why now all of a sudden have you decided to act like an adult? My wedding plans should have had nothing to do with it,” Rhapsody snapped.

“It does...because, well, I feel like I may lose you now, so I need to say something. I should have done this a long time ago. You were right about some of the things you said. I have not been good to you, Rhapsody...I know it’s true.”

Rhapsody wasn’t buying it. She wanted to say something smart, something petty, to make Melody hurt the way she’d hurt her so many times, but she rose above it, clutched her arms, fixed her eyes on the woman across from her and kept her lips securely pursed.

“I love you, Rhapsody. I know you may not believe that, but I do. I also worry about you sometimes.” Melody looked toward her sister, as if she were waiting to be asked,
‘Why?’

“No, I don’t believe that.” She rolled her eyes before she could stop herself.

Melody ignored her and continued. “I do, because well, you are very spontaneous. You just do things, you know? You just rush in. A part of me, I guess,” she shrugged, “was kind of jealous about that. I never had the nerve to travel all around the world like you, or to let my heart lead me. You dated musicians, talented men with no money.”

Rhapsody gritted her teeth and turned away.

So help me God...

“I don’t mean it like that!” Melody smiled as Rhapsody shot her a glance. “It’s all coming out wrong... Look,” she slapped her thigh, “I mean, you dated from the heart. You didn’t look out for your future.”

This is the improved version of the last statement?

“Look, Melody. Here is a little something about me you don’t seem to understand. I make my own future. I accept my mistakes and the people that try to get one over are eliminated from my life, period. I wasn’t always this way. Let’s just tell the truth. You were right when you said I had my head in the clouds. Sometimes I did.”

“Well, that’s
something
we can agree on then.” Melody flaunted a condescending grin.

“I’ve grown up, I’ve changed. I used to allow people to stay in my life, people that misused and abused me but that is over,” Rhapsody continued, refusing to allow her sister to get her off track with her childish antics. “I know better, I can’t allow that to happen anymore. I have to learn from my past, from my mistakes. I’ve met some great people, I’ve met some not so great people, they all served their purpose. Life is to be lived...and that is what I do.”

They shared a moment of silence.

“Yes...life
is
to be lived, and I was planning to go to Paris with you, to try to reconnect with you, Rhapsody, not to get a free trip. That is why I kept calling, but as soon as I said that on the phone, you thought I was trying to get over. I didn’t know...I didn’t know you had honeymoon plans as well...”

Rhapsody looked at her for a moment, trying to put her sister’s words on a mental gauge of sincerity. She wasn’t sure which way they teetered; that would require further investigation. “At the time, we didn’t have honeymoon plans there. Dane hadn’t even proposed. Now, we will be spending an additional week there after the concert is over.”

“Dane...so I finally get a name.” Melody grinned and pointed at her sister, eyes squinting. “I knew you were dating someone all along! Mama held your little secret...you were just actin’ different. You smiled more...”

“Yes, his name is Dane, and he is my fiancé.” Rhapsody couldn’t help but smile as the words dripped out of her mouth.

And we have a wedding date. Do you?

But she kept the snide thought inside, instead, trying to be more open to the conversation. Trying not to let old habits rule her.

“Well, tell me about him, what does he do? What does he look like?”

“Before we get into all of that, Melody, I’d rather you finish telling me what you were going to initially...you know, about us and our relationship.” Rhapsody lounged back in the chair, holding her knee with folded hands as she glared at the woman dressed from head to toe in a Juicy pink jogging suit and little pink diamond stud earrings to match.

Melody sighed and looked at her sister for the longest, no words coming from her mouth.

“Is it really that hard, Melody? Well, I love you very much, okay? I don’t understand why we fight all the time, but I can say with one hundred percent certainty that, usually, it isn’t my fault on how the shit gets started.”

“Let’s not place blame here,” Melody interjected.

“Of course you’d say that, being the instigator nine times out of ten.” Rhapsody’s raised an eyebrow and shook her head in disbelief.

“Do you want to be right? Fine then, Rhapsody, okay.” Melody rolled her eyes.

“No, Melody,” she said, trying hard to keep her voice down so as not to wake their mother. “What I want is some damn acknowledgement! Some ownership!” She poked her knee with her index finger, driving the point home. “Whenever I have screwed up, and I knew about it or if I didn’t, but it was brought to my attention, I’d apologize. I cannot remember the last time you said some messed up shit to me, and owned it. I’m tired of it. I want my sister back but it is more important to me to be treated like a human being, than anything else. I won’t jump over and through hoops just to get along with you. I won’t walk on eggshells. I don’t bend over for anyone but I let you get away with far too much. I suppose I trained you on how to treat me! I am still going to be
me
, Melody.” She pointed to her chest. “You don’t understand how I think, or why I do the things that I do, and that’s fine. I’m not asking you to but I do expect for you to treat me how you’d want me to treat
you
!”

The anger, rage and sorrow merged into one, forming into a tight knot that caught in her throat. She tried to keep her bones from jumping in her flesh, to no avail. Her body shook like a vibrating volcano and her mouth brimmed full of lava covered words—hot, molten, ridden with anger. Words that could only bring tears.

“Rhapsody, I’m sorry if anything I’ve said has hurt your feelings.” Her sister’s voice broke through the pounding of her own heart. “I could sit here and lie, and say I never meant to hurt your feelings at any time, but we both know that isn’t true.”

“But why, Melody?!” her voice cracked as she tried to rein herself in. It hurt so badly. Rhapsody knew she was no angel, but when it came to her family, she tried to do right by them.

“I don’t know...” Melody looked away, averting eye contact.

“I don’t believe that.”

Melody shifted in her seat, as if ashamed.

“It’s Mama, okay?” Her sister glared back at her and for a split second, Rhapsody was certain her usually stony eyes had glossed over with fresh tears. Before she could confirm, she turned away, again, possibly composing herself, then glanced back her way. “You and Mom had music in common, your singing, the piano. The whole family would talk about you, how great and talented you were! No one said anything about me...” Melody looked down into her lap.

Rhapsody’s heart broke a million times over as she listened.

“I didn’t have any of that...Mama really loves you, Rhapsody. I’m not saying she doesn’t love me, too. I know she does...but...she enjoys her time with you. I know it sounds silly, I sound like a baby, but I can’t help how I feel. It has been going on most of our lives, and I resented you for it. It just got to the point that I couldn’t take it anymore. It felt like,” she shrugged, fidgeting, “it just felt like she favored you over me—like you two had a special bond that I could never touch. I felt like the odd man out. I had to do something to differentiate myself, and in the process, I ended up pushing my sister away.” Her bottom lip trembled as she looked down into her lap, scrubbing her palm with her thumb.

“But sometimes we’d get along fine, Melody. Hell, sometimes, it was like we were the best of buddies. This is confusing to me.”

“Because, Rhapsody, I’d try...I really would,” she said with a wounded expression. “And then I’d get upset again. Mama would be braggin’,” she waved her hand dramatically in the air, “‘Rhapsody got such ’nd such award, Rhapsody is performing at the playhouse, Rhapsody did this and that, she never talked about me that way...’”

They were silent for a moment, before Melody took a deep breath and continued.

“I know it sounds cliché, but it was me, not you. Yeah, we’re different, different as night and day, but I love you.” And there it was, a single tear escaped her sister’s eye. Before it had a moment to wet her perfectly made-up face, she swiped it away, as if it were an annoying gnat. “I love you, and I admire you. You have guts. I think you’re foolish sometimes, but shit, you’re brave, a hell of a lot braver than I am.” She chuckled. “And look at you...the man is marrying you, making it official. I’m still waiting. Everyone knows Adonis ain’t shit.”

Rhapsody smiled weakly and tried to form words and thoughts in the electric atmosphere. A breakthrough had been made; what she’d secretly prayed for had finally been granted.

“Melody, you, me, Grandmama may she rest in peace, and Mom, we’re all we had. We’re all we got! Wasn’t anybody else there. We lost our father. You remember him a bit better than I do...We shared clothes, toys and secrets that only sisters would understand. Looking at you was like looking in the mirror. I always wondered, ‘What did I do to her to make her hate me so much?’ And it haunted me. I mean this from the bottom of my heart.
Whoever
else came into my life and left, I didn’t lose sleep over, but you?” Tears brimmed in her eyes now, too. “You were right here, but so far away. I had wondered what I’d done to cause this. I’m glad to know now that it wasn’t something I wasn’t aware of...you’re just an asshole.”

They both looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Melody nodded in agreement. “Exactly,” she said, doubling over with mirth. “And I want to thank you for telling me that.”

“Sorry, but you know it’s true, I love you, nonetheless, and thank you for finally talking to me. I’m just glad this is out in the open now.”

“Well,” Melody said after a pause. “I really am sorry, and I want to start over, okay?” She slowly rose from her chair and walked toward her. Rhapsody looked up at her sister and extended her arms. The two hugged tightly, smiling brightly at each other like two best friends who hadn’t seen each other in years. “I love you, girl...”

“I love you too, Melody. So much...”She patted her back.

After a while, Melody returned to her seat and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

“This doesn’t mean I won’t still go
in
on you.” She winked.

“Oh, I know, and it doesn’t mean you won’t get it right back.”

They both nodded and grinned.

“Now, tell me about Daaaaaaannnnne!” She batted her eyes teasingly.

“Melody, he is unbelievable!” Rhapsody fell back in her chair as if she were awe struck. “I love him
so
damn much. I don’t think I have
ever
been this in love with someone before.” Her heart made a flip at the thought of him.

“I can see it all over your face...you got it
bad
. Nose wide open,” Melody remarked, crossing her legs. “Okay, chop! Chop!” She clapped her hands. “Back to what I asked you before...what does he do? What does the damn man look like? Come on, give it to me.”