Forgiven (7 page)

JT patted Lamont’s shoulder, trying to bring
him some semblance of comfort. “That’s tough, Lamont. But it was an
accident.”

With sorrow, Lamont said, “I shouldn’t have
let her ride.” They sat in silence for a while and then Lamont
asked, “How did you find out about the accident?”

“A woman called me. She was using your cell
phone.”

“That’s right,” Lamont said as if the light
had just come on inside his brain. “My girl, Shameka, was out there
with us. She got mad when Sonya jumped on my bike, so I thought she
had left. But when I wrecked, she was right there. I must have
asked her to call you or something.”

“God didn’t save your life for nothing,
Lamont. It’s time for you to figure out what you need to be doing
in life and get on with it.”

Lamont yawned as sleep tried to overtake him
again. “You don’t have to convince me, JT. Just before I woke up I
had a dream about second chances. I’m not sure why Sonya isn’t
alive, because I should be the one who died. She had goals and
dreams. All I do is waste time with my other unemployed
friends.”

JT wanted to smile, but Lamont’s change of
heart came at the cost of a young girl’s life. Nothing to smile
about there. He sat with Lamont until he fell back to sleep and
then he went into the hallway to call Cassandra. He needed somebody
else to be excited about the fact that Lamont had finally agreed to
come back with him.

He dialed the house phone and Mattie
answered. After taking a deep breath and exhaling he asked, “Can I
speak to Cassandra, please.”

“She ain’t here,” Mattie said and then hung
up the phone.

Why would Cassandra have that woman at their
house? She didn’t mean them any good whatsoever. Shaking his head,
he dialed Cassandra’s cell phone. It went straight to voicemail. JT
hung up wondering why her phone was forever going to voicemail
lately.

Thanks for meeting me, Dr. Clarkson. I really
appreciate you spending your lunch hour with me,” Cassandra
said.

“It’s no problem at all. It’s not often that
my patients offer to treat me to lunch.”

Cassandra laughed. “I don’t know if you can
call this a treat. You made me meet you at Subway, and then you
wouldn’t let me pay.”

“Yeah, but you offered, and like my mama
always said, ‘It’s the thought that counts.’”

“You’re too good to me, Dr. Clarkson.”

“What’s with this Dr. Clarkson stuff? We’re
not in my office. We’re just two people having lunch. My first name
is Michael. “

Cassandra giggled. “We might be two people
having lunch, but I’ve still got problems. I had another panic
attack last night, Dr.-”

He held up a hand.

“I mean Michael.”

“I thought you told me your husband was out
of town last night.” Michael said.

“He was. That’s the reason I figured out what
my panic attacks are all about. I’m not angry like you suggested.
I’m scared.”

“What did you have to be scared about last
night?”

“Someone kept calling the house holding the
phone. That used to happen a lot when JT was cheating on me. Thanks
to my mother suggesting that JT was up to his old tricks again, I
flashed back and that’s when the panic attack started.”

Michael took a bite of his turkey sandwich
and leaned back in his seat. He chewed, wiped his mouth and then
asked. “This flashback… What did you see?”

Cassandra didn’t seem to have much of an
appetite. The whole while they’d been sitting there, she’d only
taken one bite of her BMT. As she looked at it, she wondered why
she’d even ordered anything. She hadn’t felt like eating anything
since last night, after the breather phone call. “I kept getting
pictures of the women JT fooled around with. Each one of them just
kept flashing in my head until I couldn’t breathe.”

“And you’re not angry with your husband about
those past affairs?”

“I had been angry with him. But I can see
that he’s changed. I really think I forgave him for all the things
that happened in our past. It’s just that fear keeps gripping me
and I don’t know what to do about it.” She picked up her sandwich,
thought about taking a bite, but then put it back down. “Is it
possible to forgive someone but still not be able to live with
them?”

Michael took Cassandra’s hand in his as he
answered, “Sometimes letting go is the best thing for
everybody.”

Cassandra squirmed in her seat. She was
becoming increasingly uncomfortable as Dr. Clarkson, or Michael as
he’d asked to be called, held onto her hand and intently gazed at
her. She removed her hand, stood up and said, “I think I need to
get back home. But thank you for seeing me.”

Michael stood up with her and stammered as he
said, “I-I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable just now. I just
hope you’ll think long and hard about whether you should have gone
back to your husband.”

“I will,” Cassandra said as she and Dr.
Clarkson began walking out of the eatery. That’s when she saw Diane
Benson standing in the checkout line, taking pictures of her and
Dr. Clarkson with her cell phone. Dr. Clarkson opened the door for
Cassandra to walk out but she told him, “I’ll call to make an
appointment. I just saw someone I know.”

Cassandra walked over to Diane and said,
“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Don’t you worry about what I’m doing, Ms.
Thang. You need to be worried about yourself.”

“You don’t have a clue what you’re talking
about.”

“I know what I saw. And I captured it all on
my picture phone.”

Shaking her head, Cassandra turned and walked
away. Diane jumped out of the line and followed her out the
door.

“Well, well, I guess JT isn’t the only
cheater in the family, huh?”

“Get away from me, Diane,” Cassandra said as
calmly as she could.

“Oh, I’m going to do more than get away from
you.” She lifted her cell phone in the air. “With these here
pictures, I’m going to get my daughter away from you.”

“What are you talking about? You haven’t even
called us to check on Lily in eight months.”

“I’ve called.”

“When?” Cassandra demanded to know, and then
realization struck her and she added, “Heavy breathing on the
telephone doesn’t equate to calling to check on your child.”

“Check JT’s cell phone records if you want to
know how many times I’ve called. He and I talk frequently. But he
didn’t tell you that, did he?”

“You’re lying.”

“Why don’t you check his phone records and
find out. I just talked to him yesterday.”

“Why are you so evil? I’ve never done
anything to you.”

Diane put one hand on her hip and used the
other hand to point a finger in Cassandra’s face. “You can be as
weak minded as you want to be over that sorry man of yours, but I’m
telling you right now that your days of playing mommy dearest to my
child are numbered.”

Cassandra wanted to break the finger Diane
was pointing in her face, but with this woman threatening to take
her baby away, she was becoming weak and afraid again. “Lily
doesn’t even know who you are.”

“And whose fault is that? I bet you didn’t
even tell her you’re not her mother. But that’s all going to change
once the judge sees these pictures of you out fooling around when
you’re supposed to be home with my child.”

“Get away from me,” Cassandra screamed as she
bolted away from Diane. She felt another panic attack coming on and
didn’t want to look like a freak in front of Lily’s mother. So she
ran to her car and quickly unlocked the door. As she sat down
behind the driver’s seat she rolled her window down and began to
chant, “The Lord is my Shepherd…”

After about five minutes, Cassandra’s
breathing became normal again. And Cassandra was able to think on
something other than the 23rd Psalm. These attacks were getting
worse. Up until last night when her mother witnessed her having a
panic attack, JT had been the only one to see her lose control like
that. And now, she almost let Diane Benson put so much fear in her
that she had another episode. Thank God she was able to get to her
car before anyone saw her. She put her hand over her face and
prayed, “Lord, please help me.”

Cassandra wanted to make sure her nerves were
calm before she went home to three screaming, hollering and crying
kids, so she decided to drive over to the mall and look around for
a little bit. She reached into her purse to get her cell phone and
discovered that it was dead again. She smacked her forehead with
the palm of her hand, “Why do I keep forgetting to charge this
thing?”

She put her cell back in her purse and drove
off for the mall anyway. Cassandra was sure that her mother
wouldn’t mind hanging out with her grandchildren for an extra hour.
She just hoped her mother was treating Lily right. Cassandra
practically had to beg Mattie to watch her so she could go see Dr.
Clarkson.

***

Diane was giddy with excitement. She had gold
in her hand and she planned to use it. She flipped through the
pictures she had taken of Cassandra and her new man. The one she
liked best was of the two of them holding hands. They looked so
sweet. Diane quickly uploaded that photo and then emailed it to
JT’s cell phone.

She laughed as the picture mail went through.
She then turned on her car and drove straight home. She was
delighted when she saw that Benson’s car was still in the driveway.
She just had to show him this. He always talked about how nice and
sweet Cassandra was. Well now he would know that she wasn’t the
only one who had succumbed to temptation. Maybe now he would take
that hurt puppy dog look out of his eyes that always appeared when
he thought she wasn’t looking. As far as Diane was concerned,
Benson was wrong for that. If someone says they forgive you, they
should just go on and do it. Stop holding grudges.

She gripped her cell phone in her hand. This
will shut him up, she thought as she opened the front door. “Hey,
Benson, where are you?” she yelled from the entry way.

Benson came out of the kitchen, drying his
hands with the dish towel. “Hey sweetie, I was just finishing up
those dishes for you.”

There he goes again, always letting her know
when she didn’t do something she was supposed to do. Maybe this was
his way of getting back at her for cheating on him. He was going to
nitpick her to death. Diane smiled and said, “Thank you, baby.
You’re my hero.”

A big grin crossed Benson’s face as he kissed
his wife on the cheek. “You know me, baby. I do what I can.”

She grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the
living room. “Come sit on the sofa with me. I’ve got something to
show you.”

“This must be good. You seem so excited.”

“Benson, you don’t even know the half of it.”
She waited until they were seated together on the sofa. She then
pushed buttons on her cell phone until she was viewing her
pictures. She handed the phone to Benson and said, “Look at
this.”

Benson took her phone and scrolled down until
he had seen all ten of the pictures Diane had taken of Cassandra
with some man that he didn’t recognize. He handed the phone back to
his wife and stood up. “Are you fixing dinner tonight or do you
want me to do it,” was all he said.

Diane’s eyes bugged out. “Benson, did you see
the pictures I showed you?”

“I saw them. I’m not sure why you took them,
but I’m sure you have your reasons.”

“You’re darn right I have my reasons. When I
show these photos to the family court judge, we’ll be able to get
Lily back.”

His eyebrows crinkled in confusion. “How
could Cassandra having lunch with some guy help us get Lily?”

Did she have to spell everything out for this
man? “Don’t you get it, Benson? Cassandra’s having an affair.”

“I think you’ll need much more than those
pictures to prove an affair,” Benson said while walking back into
the kitchen.

Diane got up and followed him. “Didn’t you
see that man holding Cassandra’s hand?”

“I saw it, but there has to be some other
explanation. Cassandra is not that kind of woman.”

If he would have slapped her it would’ve hurt
less. “What are you trying to say, Benson? What kind of woman
cheats?”

Benson turned to face his wife. He walked
over to her and put his arm on her shoulder as he said, “I didn’t
mean anything by that, Diane. I just don’t think Cassandra is
cheating on JT, that’s all.”

“Why do you think so much of her? Cassandra
is human just like the rest of us. She has faults and flaws – maybe
you just can’t see them.”

He rubbed Diane’s back as he said, “Maybe I’m
not looking because it’s none of my business.”

Diane shoved Benson away from her. “Oh, it’s
our business all right. But if you can’t be bothered to get your
hands dirty, then I guess I’ll have to do it myself.” She stomped
out of the kitchen and plopped back down on the sofa in the living
room. She picked up the telephone and dialed. When it was answered
she said, “What’s up, Margie?”

“Nothing much. I just got back in from
filling out some job applications. You know how it is in this
economy. I just got laid off again.”

Diane couldn’t help the smile that crept onto
her face. It wasn’t that she was wishing bad fortune on Margie, but
if she was hard up for money, she might be more agreeable to the
plan Diane tried to talk her into last week. “Yeah, it’s hard times
all over. Benson’s worried that he might have to lay some people
off.”

“Well, I hope I find something soon,” Margie
said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

That’s when Diane decided to go in for the
kill. “You know, Margie, Faith Outreach Church has deep pockets and
they owe us.”

“I don’t know about all this, Diane. I’ve
worked so hard to forget about all the sin I committed with JT
Thomas. I don’t know if I can dredge it back up again.”