Forgiven (11 page)

Thankfully though, Cassandra put him out of
his misery before he even asked the question. “Look, JT, I know you
received a picture of me with another man either on your cell phone
or through email.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I saw Diane take the picture and she
told me that she was going to send it to you.”

JT snapped his fingers together. “I knew that
picture was sent to me from a number I should have recognized. But
then she checks on her child so little, I didn’t remember her
number.”

“According to Diane, she talks to you quite
frequently. She even dared me to check the cell phone bill to find
out just how much she calls you.”

“That’s a lie. The first time I talked to
that woman in months was Tuesday when she called to tell me she was
back in town and wanted Lily.”

“So you don’t mind if I check the cell phone
bill?”

“Absolutely not. Feel free to check it,” he
said like a man with nothing to hide. “Now do you mind telling me
who this man in the picture is?”

Cassandra stood up. She hesitated long enough
for JT’s knees to give out. He sat on the edge of the bed and
looked at her again. She was everything he wanted. He wished he’d
known that simple fact years ago when he was uselessly playing the
field. He would give anything if he could take back the hurt he’d
caused her. But maybe there was something he could do. He could
accept her with her flaws, just as she had done for him. As
Cassandra finally opened her mouth to speak, JT lifted his hand.
“Forget it. I don’t want to know. Just tell me one thing?”

“What’s that?”

“Are you planning to leave me?”

“If you had asked me that question earlier
this week or even earlier today, I wouldn’t have been able to give
you an answer. My mind has been in so much turmoil that I haven’t
been able to think clearly.”

“Are… you… in… love… with… him?” Every word
that escaped JT’s mouth caused a slow death to his heart. He held
his breath, waiting on an answer.

Cassandra rushed over to JT as she shook her
head. “Oh, no. You’ve got it all wrong. I’m not seeing anyone else.
The turmoil I’ve been going through has nothing to do with another
man.”

“But what about the picture, Cassandra? You
were holding that man’s hand.”

“No I wasn’t. If anything, he was holding my
hand. And I’m still not sure why he grabbed my hand when he did.”
She sat down on the bed next to JT and put his hand in hers. “I was
wrong for not answering your phone calls this week, I knew what you
wanted. I just wasn’t ready to tell you what was really going
on.”

He liked that she was holding his hand, but
he was still hesitant when he asked, “And what has been going
on.”

“I felt so bad about the panic attacks I’ve
been having and the fact that I didn’t know what was causing them
that I started seeing a therapist. Every Tuesday when you take the
kids, I go to see Dr. Clarkson.”

“But that picture wasn’t taken on Tuesday was
it?”

“No. I had another panic attack on Tuesday
night, so I called Dr. Clarkson and asked if I could meet with him.
He was nice enough to meet me for lunch, we just didn’t know that
Diane would be filming us.” Cassandra shook her head as she
remembered Diane’s hateful words.

It was as if JT didn’t hear anything about
Diane filming his wife. His mind was strictly focused on one thing.
“I still don’t understand why this so-called therapist held onto
your hand like he did.”

“It’s really not the big deal you’re trying
to make it. It was nothing. I don’t even remember what we were
talking about when he grabbed my hand. All I know is that Diane was
Johnny-on-the-spot with snapping that picture, because I pulled my
hand out of his as soon as he grabbed it.”

JT stood up and paced the room. “I don’t
think you should go to this therapist anymore. I don’t trust him.
Mark my words, Cassandra. He’s up to something.”

“If you would just sit back down and listen
to me, I’m trying to tell you that I don’t think I need to see Dr.
Clarkson anymore anyway.”

He whirled around to face his wife. “What do
you mean? What else happened?”

“I finally figured out that all this fear and
anxiety I’ve been going through is a direct result of my not
trusting you. Right before you came home, I handed all my problems
over to God. I’m done stressing.”

“Why did you have a panic attack on Tuesday
night? You’ve normally had those when… you know; when I touch
you.”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. It had
nothing to do with your touch, but everything to do with my fear of
you not being true. On Tuesday evening someone called here
breathing heavy into the phone, I figured out it was Diane the next
day. But that night, my mother convinced me that it was some new
woman of yours playing on the phone and I spazzed out.”

“You’re the only woman I want, Cassandra. If
I didn’t know that before, I certainly figured it out this
week.”

Cassandra stood back up, she didn’t move away
from JT though. “I want to believe that, JT. It’s just that we’ve
been through so much that sometimes it’s hard for me to accept that
you truly want me. But I decided something when I was in this room
crying my eyes out earlier.” She sat back down and looked him
directly in the eye as she said, “I’m tired of crying and stressing
over you, JT. I’m either going to trust you, or pack my bags and
leave.”

“I need you to trust me, baby. I don’t ever
want you to leave me again.”

“Then I need your help JT. I’ve decided to
give you my heart, but I need you to be more than a man… I need you
to be God’s man.”

He raised his hand to her face and gently
stroked it. When she didn’t recoil at his touch, he silently prayed
that her words were true and that his wife had finally come back to
him. “You’ve got a deal, baby,” he said as he covered her mouth
with his.

Cassandra didn’t move away. She squeezed in
closer and enjoyed the moment. When he came up for air, she asked,
“So what do we do now?”

JT laughed. “See, woman, it’s been so long,
you’ve forgotten what to do.” He picked her up and gently placed
her in the middle of the bed. He turned out the lights and they
trusted each other with their love all night long.

Thirteen

The rest of the weekend was magical for JT.
His wife had finally let go of her fears and fallen back into his
arms. They spent all day Saturday feeding the kids and rushing them
back to their rooms for a nap. Their children took so many naps on
Saturday that they were sluggish on Sunday morning and kept nodding
off as JT preached to his small congregation. JT tried not to take
it personally that his children couldn’t keep their eyes open
during his sermons. Before he could get too discouraged he noticed
that two new faces were seated amongst his regulars.

Cassandra noticed them also and rushed to
them after service. She shook the couple’s hands and said,
“Welcome. I hope you enjoyed the service.

“We did,” the woman told Cassandra and then
added, “I was just telling my husband that we should come back next
Sunday.”

“Oh you have to come back. JT is one of the
most anointed pastors in this city. I guarantee you’ll get
something out of his messages,” Cassandra gushed.

“Don’t mind her, she’s my wife, so she sees
me through the eyes of love,” JT said as he joined the group and
put his arm around Cassandra’s waist. The woman his wife was
talking to was Halle Berry beautiful, but as far as JT was
concerned, Cassandra lit up his world and caused him to see only
her.

“Shush, boy, even if I wasn’t your wife, I’d
tell people what an anointed man of God you are.”

Beaming from ear to ear, JT shook hands with
the couple in front of them. “I guess you know that I’m Pastor JT
Thomas.”

The man smiled also as he said, “Kind of hard
to miss that. “I’m Eric Peoples and this is my wife, Ellen.”

JT turned to Cassandra and asked, “Did you
already introduce yourself, honey?”

“I was just getting to that when you
interrupted us with all that false humility,” she said jokingly.
“I’m Cassandra Thomas. I meant what I said before; I hope the two
of you decide to come back again.”

JT hugged Cassandra. “Yes, please come back,
and invite friends if you’d like. We need to start filling up these
empty seats.”

“The way you preach, I don’t think these
seats are going to be empty for long,” Ellen told JT.

JT thought he noticed something in the
woman’s eyes as she spoke to him, but then he shook his suspicions
off. Coming from his past history with women in the church, he was
naturally a little suspicious of people, but that didn’t mean
everyone had an ulterior motive just because he had once had
ulterior motives for most things he did. “Well, hopefully we’ll see
you guys next Sunday. But right now I need to take my wife and kids
home,” JT told them as he and Cassandra walked away.

“Why’d you brush them off like that?”
Cassandra asked when she, JT and the kids were in his car and
headed home. “We’re trying to rebuild our church. We can’t afford
to be acting like we’re too busy to chat.”

“Look at you.” JT was grinning as he drove
home. “I’ve never seen you so interested in growing our church
membership before.”

“When you started pastoring at Faith
Outreach, they at least had about three hundred members. Now we
have less than thirty. In case you haven’t noticed, brother-man,
you’ve got three kids and a wife to feed. So, you need a few
hundred or so more tithe paying members before you can go back into
full-time ministry.”

“Who said I was thinking about giving up my
job?”

“I know you, JT. Your ministry is the church
and you won’t rest until you are a full-time pastor. But, like I
said, your family needs to eat.”

JT laughed. “Okay, okay. I’ll take out more
time for new people,” he said, but then an idea struck him. “Why
don’t you handle our church growth program?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. The one that likes to eat.”

Cassandra elbowed JT for that crack, but then
asked, “Do you really think I can help?”

One of the problems JT and Cassandra had
early on in his ministry was that Cassandra didn’t feel needed.
There were tons of people ready to do whatever JT wanted and he’d
looked over his wife in favor of the elders, deacons and ministers.
But now he needed her and he was going to make sure she knew it.
“The way you pounced on those new people today, I’m positive you
can develop a program that will help us grow our membership in no
time.”

She pointed her index finger at JT. “I didn’t
pounce, but I’ll take that as a compliment anyway.”

Once they were home and settled in, JT again
suggested that the kids needed a nap.

Jerome protested this time. “Ah-uh, no way,
I’m all napped out, Daddy.”

JT looked to Cassandra for help, but she was
too busy giggling. He turned back to his eldest son and said, “Boy,
if you don’t get yourself up them stairs, I’ma have a fit on
you.”

Jerome grabbed his toy men and started
running toward the stairs. Cassandra got up and ran after him.
“Jerome, slow down. Come back here.” She grabbed him and turned him
back around.

Jerome screamed, “No Mommy, I don’t want
Daddy to have a fit on me.”

“You don’t even know what that means, and
your daddy is not going to have a fit on you,” Cassandra assured
her son.

“Yes I am,” JT said in a playful manner. He’s
interrupting my private time with my wife.”

“Well, your wife needs some family time.”

JT stuck his chest out like the big man on
campus. “Oh, I’m not enough family for you?”

“Not at the moment, sir. Right now I’d like
to see about my children if you don’t mind.”

Dejected, JT sat down and turned the
television on. “All right the kids win this round. What do you want
to watch, Jerome?”

“Blue’s Clues,” Jerome said as he excitedly
jumped around in his mother’s arms.

Cassandra put Jerome down as she whispered in
his ear. “Go give your daddy a hug for not throwing a fit.”

“Okay,” Jerome said as he ran toward his dad
and wrapped his short arms around him. “Thank you for not being
mad, Daddy.”

“Thank you for that wonderful hug, son,” JT
replied.

Jerome got on the couch and snuggled next to
his father as he watched Blue’s Clues with a content expression on
his boyish face.

Cassandra picked up her cell phone and
snapped a picture of father and son. “Now that’s a Hallmark
moment,” she said as she looked at them through eyes of love.

JT looked over at the playpen where Aaron and
Lily lay sleeping contently. “You know what we need? A family
photo.”

“Yeah,” Cassandra agreed. “We haven’t had one
since Aaron was two months. I’ll make the arrangements.” Cassandra
sat down on the couch with her boys. They remained like that for
another hour, until Jerome’s head began to bob. JT laid him on the
couch and then gave Cassandra a raised eyebrow.

Before she could respond, Lily woke up with a
shout. “I guess that means, not now,” she told him as she pulled
Lily out of the playpen.

JT shook his head. “I’m going to have to do
something about these treacherous kids.”

They spent the evening with the children,
enjoying their family, but when the lights went out it was all
about JT and Cassandra. That was a truly happy night for them,
which was a good thing; because the next night their world fell
apart.

When JT arrived home from work on Monday
evening, he walked into the kitchen, kissed the cook and then
kissed each one of his children.

“Aren’t we in a good mood this evening,”
Cassandra said while stirring the spaghetti sauce.

“Why wouldn’t I be in a good mood? I’ve got a
lovely wife and three adorable, well behaved children.”