Forgotten Awakenings (Awakenings #2) (22 page)

“Elle!” Helina yelled, chasing after her. She paused in the doorway, her eyes flittering around the room before landing back on her daughter. “I said I was sorry about ruining your painting.”

“My painting?” Elle cried. “This has nothing to do with my stupid painting!”

“Then what did I do wrong?” Helina begged. “Please, tell me what I’ve done.”

“You weren’t there for her!” Elle wept, leaning against the counter as her leg buckled beneath her. From the corner of her eye, she saw Derek take a step toward her, but she threw her hand up, stopping him. “Ivy needed you, and you weren’t there.”

“When wasn’t I there for Ivy?” Helina asked, confusion filling her features.

“When I got shot,” she said, her lips trembling. “She was pregnant.”

A collective gasp filled the room.

“What do you mean was?” Sadie asked, and when Elle looked at her, she saw her cradling Flora against her chest.

“She lost the baby,” Elle told everyone. “She had a miscarriage. Instead of being able to tell you, to tell anyone, she and Nick kept it bottled up inside, because she didn’t want to take the focus off me.” Elle paused, struggling to keep her thoughts to herself. “She needed us to support her for a change, to hold her while she cried, to let her scream and rage and curse and punch a pillow, but she couldn’t. None of us were there for them, and it’s my fault.”

“What?” half the people in the room shouted, while the rest responded with a fiery, “No.”

“Let’s stop bullshitting about this,” Elle snapped. “Trixie Maxwell came after me because I had who she wanted. Me, not Sadie. I was the threat. Leo tried to kill me because I refused to let him control me.” Elle shifted her eyes to her mother. “And you called me a whore because I wasn’t the daughter you wanted me to be.”

“You’re just going to keep throwing that in my face, aren’t you?” Helina asked, shaking her head. “No matter how many times I apologize, it will never be enough. You want to blame someone for all the horrible things that have happened to you? Go ahead and blame me. I can deal with it, sweetheart, but you’re not to blame for any of it.”

Helina cradled her face in the palms of her hands. “You’re scared and angry, and you’ve had an emotionally draining few days. Now, I’m going to go see Ivy, because right now, she needs me more than you do. I love you, Elle. That will never, ever change.”

Elle stood stunned as James and Helina rushed out of the kitchen. A quick glance around the kitchen told her that everyone was too scared to reply, so she simply left them alone and hobble upstairs to their bedroom.

—FA—

“So, everyone’s left.”

Elle lifted her head off her pillow, looking toward the door. Sadie was leaned against the doorjamb, one hand resting casually on her abdomen while the other clutching the baby monitor.

“Samuel and Lydia invited Mom, Dad, Carlos, and Felicia to stay with them. Not sure if your mom and dad are planning on staying with Ivy, or getting a hotel. I called, but it went straight to their voicemail,” she explained.

“Okay,” Elle murmured, laying her head back on the pillow.

She heard Sadie sigh and the sound of her footsteps before the bed dipped and Sadie’s hand came down to rest on her hip.

“Ivy needed me, needed us, and we weren’t there for her. After everything she’s done for us. Keeping our relationship a secret, encouraging us to be open and honest with ourselves, forgiving us for ruining her wedding, and where were we when she needed us? Not there.”

“No, we weren’t,” Sadie admitted. “Because she didn’t tell us that she needed us, Elle. And you were fighting for your life. Is what Ivy went through horrible? Yes. I can’t imagine how much pain and heartache she’s felt over the last eight months, but that doesn’t make it okay for her to throw a fit and get pissed just because you’re pregnant and she’s not.”

Elle shifted on the bed so that she was sitting up. “She can’t have babies, Sadie. Like ever.”

Sadie’s mouth opened and closed. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Elle bent her knees in front of her, wrapping her arms around them. “You know, I thought we were finally going to have it all.”

“We do, Elle.” Sadie shifted on the bed so she was facing her. “The last year and a half hasn’t been easy, but we’ve made it. We’re married to amazing men, we have a beautiful daughter, another baby on the way.”

Elle sighed.

“What?” Sadie asked. “Every time I mention the baby, you get upset. I don’t understand.”

“I just . . . I just don’t want the attention right now,” Elle argued. “I want everyone to fawn over you and Flora. I’ll get my chance in eight months, Sadie, but now it’s your turn. Is that wrong?”

“No,” she said, quietly. “But I love gushing over you. You blush and get all flustered. It’s very sexy.”

Right on cue, Elle’s checks turned pink.

“There’s my beautiful, sexy girl,” Sadie laughed. Grabbing Elle’s hand, she placed a kiss on her palm. “You’re scared and overwhelmed. A lot has happened in the last couple days, between Flora’s birth and finding out you’re expecting. And now with Ivy, you’re feeling emotional, right?”

Elle bit the inside of her lip as she nodded.

“That’s normal, but you can’t lash out at everyone just because you’re feeling guilty. You really hurt your mom, Elle.”

“I know, but—”

“No buts,” she interrupted. “You get pissed and throw it back in her face that she used to be a bitch, but if you haven’t noticed, Helina isn’t the same woman she was a year ago.”

“I know that, Sadie,” Elle groused. “But she wasn’t there for Ivy, either.”

“Because Ivy wouldn’t let anyone be there for her!” Sadie exclaimed. “How were we supposed to know that she was hurting if she never told us?”

“I don’t know. We just should have.”

The door to the bedroom opened and Elle and Sadie looked over to find Derek and Callum walk in with Flora in their arms. The tiny baby was fussing as Callum laid her in Sadie’s arms.

“She wouldn’t stop fussing. We changed her, but I think she’s hungry,” he explained, peeling off his shirt and tossing it into the hamper.

“She eats like Derek,” Sadie grumbled as she worked to get Flora to latch onto her nipple.

“I don’t eat that much!” he whined.

“Sure you don’t,” Elle teased, trying to smile.

He narrowed his eyes. “Well, you barely eat anything, which will be changing now that you’re pregnant.”

Elle sighed. “I’m sure it will.”

Derek crawled across the bed, pulling Elle onto his lap. “We love you, even when you’re being a bitch.”

“I love you, too,” she murmured, nestling her face in the crook of his neck. “And I’m sorry for being such a bitch today. I’m just . . . I’m just tired.”

“So are we, beautiful, so are we,” he echoed, holding her tight.

Twenty-one

Elle tilted her head upward, allowing the spray from the shower head to wash over her. With both hands on the wall, she rolled her shoulders back, feeling the ache of tension in each one. Today marked one week since Flora’s birth, and Elle, Derek, and Callum were going back to work. Rather reluctantly, too.

None of them were looking forward to being away from their new daughter, or leaving Sadie alone with the endless stream of parents who had taken over their house for the last few days. The only time the four of them had been alone with the baby was at night when their parents retreated to Samuel and Lydia’s. They didn’t want to intrude, each of them said, but Elle knew the truth.

They’d been walking on eggshells around her for days, always careful what they said, or the tone they used. Elle had let her anger get the better of her, and now, they were avoiding any type of conflict. And she couldn’t blame them; she had been a bitch.

Sighing, she reached down and turned off the water. She dried off as much as she could before wrapping her towel around her body and grabbing her cane. When she walked into their bedroom, she wasn’t surprised to find Derek and Callum sitting on the edge of the bed, their hands intertwined, and their lips pressed together.

“Aren’t you two supposed to be getting ready for work?” she asked, causing them to jump apart and looked her. Their eyes drifted down the length of her body. “Oy, my eyes are up here.”

“We know, but your tits are down there,” Derek growled, leaping off the bed and rushing her.

Before she could blink, he had her pinned against the wall, her towel slung onto the floor, and his lips on hers. His tongue invaded her mouth as he slid his hands down the side of her body, his fingers grazing the sides of her breasts. Derek wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her off the ground. Her legs automatically wrapped around his waist, the length of his covered cock pressed against her hot center, sending a jolt of excitement through her.

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Elle moaned, pulling her mouth from his. “What are you doing to me?”

“I’m trying to fuck you,” he murmured, sliding his lips up her neck until they were outside her ear. “Can I, beautiful? Can I fuck my wife?”

Elle nodded and mumbled something that sounded like yes, but all coherent thoughts escaped her. All she could focus on was the feel of him pressed against her. Derek stepped away from the wall, keeping his arms wrapped around her as he carried her to the bed, laying her down.

He hovered over her, his eyes locked on hers. “Say it.”

“It,” she replied with a smirk.

Derek narrowed his eyes at her as he pressed his hips against her, causing her to gasp. “Say you want me to fuck you.”

“I want you to fuck me,” she murmured, placing her hands on his chest. “I
need
you to fuck me.”

Derek smiled as he stood up and stripped his boxers off. Then, grabbing her hands, he lifted her off the bed again. He laid down and pulled her onto him so that she was straddling him.

His eyes shifted behind her and he smiled. “You know what’s better than my cock inside you?”

“No, what?” Elle asked.

Callum grabbed her hair and pulled her head back as he pressed his naked body against her. “Two cocks inside you.”

Elle whimpered.

“Do you want me to fuck you, too?” Callum’s words crept across her skin, and she shivered. “Do you?”

“Yes,” she breathed. “Yes, please, yes!”

“Good,” he murmured. “I’ve been dreaming of your ass all night.”

Elle moaned, biting her lip as Callum gripped her hips and lifted her upward. Derek placed himself as the entrance of her pussy, a look of ecstasy filled his face when she slid onto him.

“Jesus, how are you always so fucking tight?” He gripped her hips, pushing himself further into her.

“Because we’re clearly failing our jobs as her husband, babe,” Callum said, placing his hand on her back and pushing her forward. “We’re not fucking her or Sadie enough. They need more, don’t you, Elle?”

“Yes.” Her voice trembled as he prepared her, starting with one finger before adding a second and then a third. “Fuck, hurry, lover, please!”

Callum laughed, but a moment later, he pulled his fingers out. She heard him rip open the foil package of the condom before feeling him drizzle more lube along her ass.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah,” she moaned, the tip of his cock pressed against her. “Please, Cal.”

“You don’t have to beg, baby.” And without another word, he pushed his hips forward, filling her completely.

Elle cried out, the feeling of both men inside her had her trembling with need, but neither Derek nor Callum gave her a chance to relax. Offsetting one another’s thrusts, they moved in and out of her, taking and giving, kneading her insides with their cocks. Her arms were heavy, her legs weak, and every inch of her was screaming for a release.

Tears flooded her eyes and she struggled to keep herself from screaming with every thrust of their hips. Love making with her two husbands had always been amazing. But taking both of them at the same time, feeling the way they loved and manipulated her body to induce her pleasure, as well as their own, was marvelous.

“Tell me you’re close, beautiful,” Derek pleaded, his hands sliding along her legs and covering Callum’s on her hips. “Please!”

“I . . .” But the word had barely left her mouth when she felt her pussy clench around his cock, waves of pleasure enveloping her. “Ah!”

“Oh, that’s it, baby,” Callum grunted, his thrusts quickening, his hips slamming against her harder and harder. “Come for me, Der, fucking come for me.”

Almost as if his body needed to command from Callum, Derek’s body tensed, his head pushing back against the pillow, and he climaxed, pulling Callum over the edge with him.

Elle’s body felt weary as the three of them parted, falling onto the bed covered in sweat. It wasn’t until they heard someone clear their throat that they looked at the doorway of their bedroom, where they found Sadie standing with the baby monitor in her hands.

“Was it as good as it looked?” she asked, an air of wistfulness lacing her words.

“Way better,” Elle admitted, guilt filling her. Were they selfish for enjoying a morning quickie while she was busy taking care of their daughter? “Where’s Flora?”

“In her crib,” Sadie told them, walking into the room. “I thought I might grab a shower before you three left for work, but seeing as you’re covered in delicious sex-sweat, I guess I’ll wait until Mom gets here.”

“Sorry,” the three of them muttered, scrambling off the bed. Derek reached her first, taking her into his arms and placing a searing kiss on her lips.

“We suck,” he told her.

“There was sucking and fucking?” she laughed. “I missed all the good parts!”

“We’re sorry,” Elle started, but clamped her lips together when Sadie shot her a glare.

“You’re sorry?” she snarked. “For what? For indulging in some mind-blowing sex?”

Biting her lip, she nodded.

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard,” she quipped. “I’m not mad that they fucked you, Elle. Jealous as hell, but not pissed. Never pissed. I love watching them take you, watching them touch you. Hottest damn thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Yeah?” Elle’s cheeks turned bright red as Sadie smirked and nodded. “Good to know.”

“You’re a fucking vixen,” Sadie muttered as she turned and walked out of the bedroom. “Five more weeks and your pussy is mine.”

“She’s going to make you pay for that,” Callum said, sliding his arm around her waist. “You know that, don’t you?”

Elle laughed. “And what fun that will be.”

—FA—

Elle, Derek, and Callum were almost half an hour late by the time they made it to the office. When they clamored down the stairs, they were unsurprised to find Felicia, Claudia, Lydia, and Helina fussing over Flora. Elle hurried out to the car, afraid that she’d say something to upset her mother again. She needed to sit down and talk about what had happened five days ago, but she hadn’t the nerve. Her mother deserved better from her, that much she was sure about.

Lucia was seated at Greta’s desk, chatting away with Ivy. At the sound of the three of them exiting the elevator, the two turned toward Elle. Ivy released a deep breath as she stood up, smoothing the front of her white T-shirt.

“Hey.” Her voice shook with nerves, a first for Elle. Ivy had always been so confident, so assured of herself. “How are you?”

“Fine,” Elle said, quietly. “Late, actually. Busy morning.”

Derek and Callum snorted, laughing when Elle glared at them. Shaking her head, she turned her attention back to Ivy. “What are you doing here?”

“I, um, I . . .” Ivy ran her fingers through her short, brown hair. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh.” Elle shifted from one foot to the other.

“I just need a few minutes,” Ivy added. “Please, Elle.”

“Yeah. I mean, of course.” Elle cleared her throat and looked at Derek and Callum. “Give us a few minutes?”

“Yeah, we’ll, um, just get some coffee or a donut, or maybe both,” Derek rambled, placing his hand on her back and leaning over to kiss her forehead.

Elle led Ivy down the hallway to her office, closing the door behind her.

Once they were seated around her desk, Ivy said, “I know you’re busy. I won’t take up too much of your time.”

“You can have as much time as you need,” Elle said, hoping her words sounded as sincere as she intended. “Are you okay?”

“I’m . . .” Ivy paused. “I almost lied and said I was fine, but I’m not, and I’m tired of pretending. So, no I am not fine, Elle. I am a long way from it.”

“Guess that means you’re still pissed with me, then,” she groused.

“No,” Ivy said, shaking her head. “You weren’t who I was mad at, sis. I’m pissed with myself, with my body, with the fact that I can’t have a baby. But not you. I just lashed out at you because you were there and an easy target, I guess.”

“Oh, well, in that case.” Elle waved her hand in the air. “Glad I could be of assistance.”

“Dammit, I’m really fucking this up.” Ivy scooted to the edge of her chair, placing her hands on Elle’s desk. “When Sadie called and told us you’d been shot, I was so scared, Elle. I thought you were going to die.”

“Yeah,” Elle whimpered. “Me, too. I was shot in this office, Ivy. Right there.” She pointed to the far corner of her desk. “I knew the minute I saw her in the doorway that she was dangerous. Had that look in her eyes, you know?”

Ivy nodded.

“I understand why you didn’t tell me about the baby, but why didn’t you tell someone?” Elle asked. “Mom, or Sadie, or Lydia, just someone.”

“I was scared,” she cried. “Nick and I had been hoping and wishing for a baby for months, ever since the wedding, and suddenly, there was this baby growing inside me. And I’ll admit, it scared the shit out of me.”

“I can understand that,” Elle murmured, thinking about how irritable she’d been lately. “But they would have been there for you. Especially Mom.”

“I know she would have,” Ivy admitted, sniffing back her tears. “I almost told her a million times.”

“Then why didn’t you?” she asked.

“Because Mom would pray for me, and tell me that God has a plan, that this was his way of saving us from some unforeseen pain. And I didn’t want to hear that bullshit. I wanted that baby, Elle.”

“I don’t know what to say to you. You’re in pain, and I want to be there for you, be the sister you need, because you’ve always been here for me, but I don’t know what to say.” The confession left Elle’s mouth before she could stop herself. “I’m sorry.”

“You haven’t done anything wrong, Elle,” Ivy said. “I’m just not going to be a mom. I’ll get to be the cool aunt, I suppose.”

“So no adoption? Or surrogacy?”

Ivy smiled. “I don’t know. Maybe one day, when it doesn’t hurt so much. Nick and I need to work on us, before we can be parents.”

“So you’re really not mad at me anymore?” Elle asked.

“No,” she murmured, shaking her head. “Though, I’m not thrilled that you just blurted out my business like you did, but I feel lighter now that I’ve talked to Mom and Dad. Nick and I told Gabriel and Regina last night. They were upset that we kept it to ourselves, but understood our reasoning.”

Ivy paused. “Can you forgive me for how I behaved?”

“What?” Elle gasped, standing up. She hobbled around her desk and reached for Ivy, who was immediately in her arms. “Of course I forgive you. The last week has been so overwhelming.”

“I can only imagine,” she replied, tightly as she stepped away from Elle. “I’d better get going. Long day at the salon.”

“Oh, okay.”

Ivy turned and walked to the door, but stopped and looked back at her. “I am happy for you, Elle. You’ll be a fabulous mother.”

Tears flooded Elle’s eyes as she mumbled a thick, sobbing, “Thank you.”