Four Doors Down (20 page)

My phone’s still in my hand, but when I try her again, her cell starts ringing from its place on the counter behind me.

“Shit.” Where could she be? I look out into the garden, hoping she’s maybe out there, then I realize there’s only one place she’d be nearby without her car.
Ryan’s house.

I take off out of the house and run to Ryan’s, hammering loudly on the front door. No one answers so I start banging on the door again, so hard I think I’ll probably have a bruise tomorrow. The door swings open and I nearly fall into the house but reach out and grab the frame just in time.

Ryan stares back at me, his arms laden with chips and soda. He raises his eyebrows in surprise.

“I really need to speak to my mom,” I tell him urgently, already edging into the house. “Is she here?”

He nods and tells me she’s in the backyard. I rush through his house, nearly tripping over the rug in the hallway in my urgency to get to the backyard.

“Mom!” I shout when I see her and she turns in surprise at my voice. I quickly tell her everything that happened at the house and she pales. She turns to Kathy Jackson, and they both instantly rush into the house, grabbing keys and purses. My mom’s already on the phone and by the sounds of it she’s managed to get hold of my dad and is arranging to meet him at Aunt Ruth’s house. I follow them through the house, but my mom stops and turns to me. “I don’t want you coming with us, Becca,” she tells me.

“No, I’m coming,” I protest, but she shakes her head in response. “Mom, please!” I beg her. “I’ll follow you in my car and I can bring Jay back. You’ll have to stay with Aunt Ruth, but I can get him out of there and out of the way.” She pauses and I can see her brain ticking over, weighing up the risk to me.

“Okay, but you don’t get out of the car, okay? You wait for him in the car, and then you get out of there.” I nod in agreement and follow them to the door but come to an abrupt halt when Ryan reaches out and grabs me.

“I’ll come with you,” he tells me and I realize he must have heard our conversation.

I shake my head at him. “No, no it’s fine.”

“I’m coming, Becca,” he states while I shake my head, eager to get away and not waste time. I move toward the door, but he doesn’t let go of my arm.

“Ryan!” I hear a female voice call from downstairs and realize he must have company in his den.

He groans in annoyance. “It’s fine. She can stay here.”

“No, Ryan. We don’t need your help. Stay here.”

“You might need a guy there. To help if things get rough.”

I gulp at the thought of something like that happening and then shake my head. “No, my dad will be there and if I need anyone, I’ll call Charlie.”

I turn to leave again, twisting out of his grasp but he grabs me again stopping me from leaving. “What can I do? How can I help you?”

I glance at the stairs that lead to his den. “Don’t tell them,” I say. “Don’t tell whoever’s down there about my aunt, okay?”

He reels back like I’ve slapped him. “I would never do that to you. Is that what you really think of me?” He shakes his head at me in disbelief. “I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.” If I’m completely honest, I know he wouldn’t do that to me, but I don’t have time to feel bad and turn and run out of the house.

By the time I reach my aunt’s house, my dad is there and the relief I feel is instant. Kathy Jackson is standing to the side of the gate, her hand on Jay’s shoulder. When I pull over, she gently pushes him in my direction and he runs up to the car and jumps in the back seat. I pull away instantly and turn the car around, ready to head home. I look in the rear mirror to check on him, desperate to offer him some sort of comfort. It’s only then that he turns to me and I see that he has tears pouring down his face, but he doesn’t utter a word.

“H
ey.”

I look up to see Ryan standing in the doorway. I’m in the art room sketching some pictures and trying to forget about the mess from last night and Jay’s silent tears. The only remotely positive thing about last night is that I now couldn’t give a shit about the fact that I’m still being whispered about over my fight with Ryan four days later. I turn back to my sketches as he makes his way over and sits down next to me.

“How are you?” he asks. I know he’s referring to last night. There’s no point in pretending he didn’t see that drama and his mom’s probably told him all about it.

“I’m okay,” I tell him, not looking up.

“I came over to your house last night to check on you, but you were already in bed,” he tells me. I do look up at him now. He didn’t have to do that and when his eyes find mine, I don’t see anything except concern in them.

“Jay’s going to stay with us for a while,” I tell him. “My parents took Aunt Ruth to rehab today.”

He nods and I sigh loudly, raking my hands through my hair and rub my eyes. I feel so drained today. I can’t believe I didn’t know how bad it had gotten. The signs were all there. I know my mom’s been worried sick and I know Jay’s been acting up, but I’ve been so wrapped up in myself I didn’t know how bad she’d gotten.

“She’s not a bad person, you know?” I tell him. “When I was little, she used to read to me all the time and take me to the beach and play with me the whole time. She had so much time for me.” It’s so upsetting seeing her like this. She’s so different from the loving, caring aunt of my childhood.

“I know that, Becca.” And I guess he does. I forgot that he knew Aunt Ruth too. For all I know she’s been over at his house when his parents have thrown parties or barbecues. “Sometimes people just go through shit times, but she can get better now. She’ll get help.”

I nod and manage a small smile. I know he’s right; I just wish it hadn’t come to this.

“Is this where you’ve been during lunch all week?” he asks.

I nod.

“Why have you been avoiding the cafeteria?”

I roll my eyes. After last night, I don’t really care about my fight with Ryan anymore, but he can’t be so dumb as to not notice all the gossip that’s been going on since his girlfriend threw a ball in my face.

“Over our fight after dodgeball?” he persists.

“Yes!” He’s clearly not going to let this go so I might as well tell him why I was mad. “You purposely let me get hit in the face just because you were pissed.”

He lets out a long sigh. “I really am sorry about that.”

I put my pencil down and look over at him.

“It was stupid. Everything just got out of hand, and I’m sorry you got hurt.”

“Fine. Whatever.”

“Please, Becca. I would never, ever intentionally want you to get hurt.”

“Well, it didn’t seem like it. You were blocking me and then deliberately moved.” I don’t mention the part where I insulted him, maybe I shouldn’t have done that, but it’s not an excuse to let me get physically hurt. “I just don’t get it.”

“I don’t know. I just…” He sighs. “I was in a bad mood and I took it out on you.”

“Yeah, you don’t say,” I say sarcastically. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to your game, but I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

“I just…I dunno…” he trails off looking away from me.

“It’s fine, I’m over it,” I tell him. “Just next time you decide to teach me a lesson, could you do it in private? It’s not much fun having the whole school talk about you.”

“What do you mean talk about you?”

“Oh come on, Ryan, you know how it works. Anything involving you is big business in this stupid school. The fact that the head cheerleader smacked me in the face with a ball over you was bound to get out. Everyone’s been gawking at me all week.”

“I don’t think she meant to do that.”

“Oh, she meant it. She has it pretty bad for you. Obviously she didn’t like it that we were on the same team or whatever.” I pause. “I blame Jake.”

He smiles at this. “Is that why you’re skipping lunch? To avoid everyone?”

“No.” I pause. “Yes.”

Ryan smiles. “Well, if it helps, Mason got caught in a cleaning closet with Julia Simpson just after first period, so I’m pretty sure you’ll be forgotten about by now.”

“Really?”

He nods. I allow a small smile and go back to my drawing. “It all seems pretty pointless, anyway. After what happened yesterday. Bigger things to think about, you know?”

He nods in agreement. “What are you doing now?”

“Nothing. Have math after lunch.”

“Wanna skip?”

My head turns to him. Did he actually just suggest we ditch school? Together? “What?”

“Come on, let me make it up to you, and it’ll take your mind off of your aunt.”

“You wanna skip together?” I ask.

“Yes. Come on, it’s not that weird of a suggestion.”

I tilt my head to the side, studying his face. “Just the two of us?”

“Go on, I dare you,” he challenges me, his eyes twinkling.

“Um…” I genuinely don’t know what to say. I mean, I’d actually really like to ditch for the afternoon, but with Ryan? What on earth would we talk about? I know we’ve been around each other a lot more recently, but that’s more down to circumstance than choice.

“Let me prove I’m not the total asshole you think I am.”

His tone is playful, but I can see genuine hope in his eyes and a whole lot of uncertainty. He actually wants to chill together. I guess he has been there for me recently if you ignore the whole dodgeball incident. Maybe we could give this friend thing a shot. I start to nod without realizing it. His eyes widen in surprise that I’m actually agreeing and he smiles. He stands up and I follow him out of the classroom.

We’re lying out on the beach, using our bags as pillows and staring up at the sky. I’ve actually had a really good afternoon. Ryan drove us an hour down the coast and we had lunch at this great seafood shack. He’s been making me laugh like we used to back when we were kids, and I feel a lot better about Aunt Ruth and Jay now. He’s right. Rehab is the best place for her, and if it weren’t for last night, she wouldn’t be there now. Now I’m lying out, the winter sun is warm on our skin, and I’m so relaxed I’m close to falling asleep.

“Becca?”

“Sssh, I’m sleeping,” I mumble.

“What are you gonna do next year?” he asks.

I turn my head to look at him. “You mean after we graduate?” He nods. “Dunno. College, I guess. Maybe travel for a year first.”

“Will you major in art?”

I shrug. “I don’t know yet. My dad doesn’t want me to limit my options.” I chuckle. “I think he’s still living in hope that I’ll ace my exams and get into Harvard.”

Ryan grins at me.

“What about you?”” I ask. I turn over so that I’m on my front, leaning up on my elbows.

“I’m thinking I’ll stay in Cali. Well, probably.”

“Are you getting a football scholarship?”

He nods and rolls over onto his elbows too, matching my stance. “Yeah, I’ve had a couple of offers. Just need to decide where.”

“Why’d you pick football?” I ask him. I’ve wondered what made him pick football over basketball ever since my mom told me he was dropping it to focus on football when we went into junior year. “I never got it. You always preferred basketball.” He looks at me in surprise and then slowly a wide smile stretches across his mouth, lighting up his whole face. “What?” I ask. He shakes his head, but his smile doesn’t budge. “What?” I demand again.

He shrugs. “Nothing, it’s just, you spend your whole time acting like you don’t know me at all, like we weren’t inseparable for the first 12 years of our lives. . .it’s nice to know you’ve thought about me at least in passing over the last five years.”

Oh. I turn away and look back out at the ocean. I don’t know how to respond. He’s right, I do act like we don’t know each other, but that was always down to him thinking he was too good for me, at least that’s what I always thought. Lately, though, I’m not so sure.

“Sorry,” he says and I turn back to face him. He’s still looking at me. “I know you don’t like talking about before. I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I picked football because I’m too short to make it in basketball.” I raise me eyebrows in disbelief, the dude’s six foot two. Hardly on the short side. “I’ve got more chance of making it in football.”

“Making it?” He’s letting me off the hook and I’m grateful. I’d much rather talk about football than drag up the past again. “Like as a professional?”