Fourteen (8 page)

I laughed and rolled my eyes, as I turned on my heel and started toward the kitchen.

“Attractive, Drake.”

“Yeah, well, it’s the truth.”

I laughed and set my tea on the table as I pulled out two saucepans and placed them on the stove.

“Are you ready?”

He nodded enthusiastically and set his can on the table as well, rocking back and forth on his heels.

“Well, get over here,” I said, waving him over as I sidestepped toward the refrigerator. “There’s a bit to do.”

He was by my side almost as soon as I said it, his hands behind his back as he watched me gather everything from the fridge and place the items on the counter.

I still wasn’t entirely sure what to do with him. He seemed like he meant everything he’d said. And why would he tell me something like having to wear a retainer to bed or watching a show like
Ghost Hunters
—two things that would definitely hurt his popularity—if he hadn’t meant anything he’d said? I didn’t trust him, and I probably wouldn’t for a long time, but at least this was a step in the right direction.

It had to be the right direction. I couldn’t handle the wrong one.

There was something distinctly different when I walked into the school the next morning. Granted, it was Friday, and it always felt that way because it was just before the weekend. People were either making plans or fine-tuning the ones they already had, and there was a certain energy about the entire student body.

I was just happy for the two days I wouldn’t have to see these people, two days I’d have the house mostly to myself while dad went golfing with his buddies, and two days to relax and just be me.

I was in a good mood, though. I’d had a good time hanging out with Evan last night, and the high hadn’t worn off quite yet. I was still wary of him and at certain points during the night, it had been extremely awkward between us. We’d done homework while the macaroni and cheese cooked, and he’d told me that he’d asked a few of his friends to volunteer for him. We both agreed that he could do that on his own. Dad came home around six thirty again. He inhaled and hummed appreciatively before disappearing into the living room. While the night hadn’t started out that great, overall it hadn’t ended horribly, either.

Today, however, it felt like I was walking to my doom as I stepped into the hallway and made my way to my locker. Every single person turned to look at me as I walked, and I played with a piece of my hair and kept my head down. My heart beat hard against my ribs.

What really sealed the deal, though, was when Kyle, Evan’s best friend, stopped me in the middle of the hallway in front of everyone with his girlfriend Ashley James by his side. He looked as uncomfortable and nervous as I felt. He resembled a short pit bull with spiky blond hair, and his eyes were a beautiful deep green. Kyle’s nose had been broken a few times, the bumps prominent and something he was very proud of. Still, he was attractive, and sometimes he snorted when he laughed. His front teeth were crooked, presumably for the same reason that his nose had been broken so many times—sports. He was on the football team and the baseball team, and while I didn’t go to many games, I knew from all the other students and posters that he played hard. His loud, deep voice was hard to miss, and while he was nice to everyone he came into contact with, he mostly stayed in the same circle that Evan did.

Kyle and Ashley had been on-again, off-again until the beginning of the school year. Now they were one of the power couples. She was beautiful—with her shoulder-length, brown hair, perky upturned nose, heart-shaped lips, and a petite but powerful body toned from years of gymnastics. She had her core group of friends, didn’t venture outside of her social circle, and had her digital camera practically glued to her hand. A moment ago, I was sure she didn’t know I existed.

Ashley never looked uncomfortable or nervous. Neither did Kyle for that matter, and neither of them had
ever
acknowledged me in front of everyone.

“Anna, could we talk to you for a minute?” he asked, slinging an arm around my shoulders and steering me in the opposite direction.

I thought I heard an audible gasp from everyone.

“I have to put my books away, Kyle,” I said, trying to wiggle out from underneath his arm.

“You can put your stuff in my locker for now.”

“Why?”

“Because I want you to walk with us.”

I thought that either he’d lost his mind completely or there was another one of those invisible memos about me not being a diseased outcast for the day.

“To where?”

“Uh . . . to . . .”

“The gym!” Ashley exclaimed, grabbing Kyle’s other arm and pulling us both in the direction of the gymnasium.

“For what?” I asked.

“I feel like we don’t talk enough, Anna, and I want to remedy that.”

“Kyle, seriously, what’s going on?”

I dug my heels into the floor and almost tripped over my own feet when Kyle kept walking. I slipped out from underneath his arm as they both turned to look at me.

“Nothing’s going on, Anna.” Ashley laughed nervously.

For all the confidence she seemed to ooze, I never thought she knew how to laugh nervously. It was strange and made the horrible feeling I had even worse.

“Then why did you drag me away like that?”

“Uh, well . . . I just thought . . . I told you. We should talk more,” Kyle stammered.

“Let’s do it later, then. I need to put my books away.”

I walked around both of them.

I could still feel the stares, and I heard footsteps behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Kyle and Ashley trailing behind me, both of them looking dejected and still really nervous and uptight. Whispers were bouncing off the walls of the eerily quiet hallway as I walked, and I ran a trembling hand through my hair.

I stopped in front of my locker and gasped.
Cow
was written in black marker across the top.
Heifer
was written vertically underneath it.
Pig
was written next to
heifer
. And in the middle was a computer-generated picture of a cow’s body with my head attached to it. I placed one hand on my throat, gently dragging my fingernails down as if that would help me breathe.

“Anna,” I heard Kyle say from behind me.

I held up a hand, my eyes still glued to the scene in front of me.

I should have seen this coming. It was the next logical step. It actually wasn’t as bad as some of the stuff they could have done, but it was still a shock to see it written so boldly.

I ran my hand down the front of my blue sweater and did the same with my other. I pulled on the bottom of my shirt, trying to make it longer somehow, even though it already hit mid-thigh. Anything that would hide the small roll that showed through the fabric. In all honestly, I wanted to pull the shirt over my head entirely, but pulling it over my head would leave me vulnerable to unseen attacks. I’d be exposing more of my body, and they would be able to see it.

Ashley placed her hand on my arm. “Anna.”

I flinched away from her, briefly wondering if she was in on it. She was one of
them
; she could’ve known all about it. Kyle too. Maybe they were both in on it; maybe the person who had done it had just finished, and they needed to buy a little time.

I didn’t know what to do. I felt as though I couldn’t do anything but stand there and stare at it. It didn’t seem real. Why would someone do this? Why did they do any of the things they’d ever done to me in the past?

“Because you’re a cow,” I whispered, answering myself.

“Anna, don’t believe—” Kyle said.

“Don’t,” I whispered and turned around. “Just . . . don’t.”

I walked between Kyle and Ashley with my head down. The blood rushed in my ears and tears filled my eyes as I walked down the hallway, roughly shoving through the double doors and back into the parking lot.

I didn’t care if I missed school. I didn’t care about anything except for getting out of there. I couldn’t stand to be in that place for one more minute, and the last thing I wanted to do was go through an entire day with
them
.

“Anna?”

I heard his voice but kept walking, my head still down as I stared hard at the pavement. I didn’t want to be around anyone right now or risk damaging any progress Evan and I might have made last night. If there were even a small fraction of a chance that Evan and I could be friends, then this would definitely not be the time to talk to him.

I was quick to get back into my car and shove the keys into the ignition. Staring straight ahead, I pulled out of my space and drove toward out of the parking lot, blinking and sniffling the entire way. After making it home in record time, I jumped out of the car, dashed into the house and up the stairs, collapsed onto my bed, and buried my face in my pillow.

The tears started, the sobs came, and I wrapped my arms around myself in a sad attempt to keep myself together.

I shouldn’t have walked out. I should’ve stayed and dealt with it. Running away didn’t prove anything and probably only made them all happy that they’d gotten to me.

I didn’t understand what I’d done this time. The only thing I’d done differently was talk to Evan, and that was mostly because I had to. He’d done the rest and had seemed to truly want a chance to get to know me. Why had I been cut down for what he’d wanted in the first place?

I sniffled and wiped my cheeks, staring at the wall of my bedroom and curling into the fetal position on my bed.

I didn’t know what time it was. I didn’t know how long I’d been up in my room. School could’ve been over for hours now, and I wouldn’t have known the difference. Hell, it could’ve been early Saturday morning, and I wouldn’t have realized. The dark sky outside my window told me it was nighttime.

I sighed heavily when I heard footsteps outside my bedroom door and sucked in a shaky breath, once again wiping off the tears from my cheeks with the sleeve of my shirt. There was a knock on the door but I didn’t move, figuring my dad had gotten home and wanted to know why I hadn’t bothered to come down or fix dinner for us.

I squeezed my eyes shut, pretending to be asleep and hoping that he would just go away when I heard the door open. A few seconds later, I heard it close again, and I sighed, pushing my hair out of my eyes.

“Anna?”

I jumped as I heard a voice that clearly did not belong to my dad and turned to face the door. His profile was visible from the streetlights outside my window, and I tensed.

“What?” I managed to say, my voice rough and my throat raw. “How’d you get in here?”

“Your father let me in.”

Huh. He
was
home. Glad he came up to see if I was all right.

“What do you want?” I curled up even tighter under my comforter and stared blankly ahead.

“I wanted to see if you were all right.”

I looked up when I heard the floorboards creaking underneath his weight as he walked over to me. I kept my eyes on his dark figure as he lowered himself to the floor, resting his arms on the edge of my bed and placing his chin on his hands.

“I’m fine.”

“It shows,” he said.

I stared at him, his face partially hidden in shadows.

“I would’ve been here earlier,” he said after a few moments of silence, “but coach kept us later for practice because it was a Friday.”

“Did you have anything to do with it?”

“No!” he exclaimed. “No . . . ,” he repeated, quieter.

We once again sat in silence. “Who was it, Evan?” I whispered.

He sighed heavily and tilted his head to the side. I huffed, closing my eyes as he reached out to rub his thumb over my cheek.

“Brittany and Grace,” he whispered back.

“Why?”

“Because of me.” He pushed his hand back and into my hair, his thumb still stroking my cheek. “I’m sorry, Anna.”

I closed my eyes when I felt them water again and turned to bury my face back into my pillow. He slid his hand to the back of my head, his fingers still tangled in my hair, and I did my best to keep my emotions under control.

It was bad enough that he’d caught me in my room, sitting in the dark and moaning over my bad day. It would be even worse if he saw me cry.

He kept his hand in my hair, gently scratching the back of my head as I did my best to either smother myself or calm myself down. I hadn’t quite figured out which I wanted to do more.