Fractured (The Deep in Your Veins Series Book 5) (10 page)

It was a question I’d been asked many times. “I’ve never known any different. It was my life; the only life I knew. I was adopted as a baby, so I didn’t have to go through the adjustment period that older kids have to deal with.”

“You found out about it when you were young?”

“My parents never hid it from me. A therapist told them to tell me I was adopted once a year, each year until I was nine. Then it would be something that stuck with me; something I grew up knowing.” I was glad of that, because I never felt like I’d been lied to.

“Was it an awkward subject at your house?”

“No, my parents talked freely about it. They always answered any questions I had. My mom, Annette, said that it’s okay if I was upset that I didn’t have my biological family in my life; that she suspected it was the sense of loss an adult might feel for a biological child they just can’t have. It’s a kind of grief, but it doesn’t mean my life is any less good. They even thought I should feel proud of being adopted, because it meant I was chosen.”

“Did you always know you were left on a church doorstep?”

I nodded. “They tried softening the blow by making out like being left at a special place made
me
special.” But that wasn’t the case at all. “They didn’t want to lie to me.”

“Do you think it was better that way?”

“Yeah. It helped me to accept it.”

“It can’t have been easy to accept.”

“It bothered me most when I was younger. I didn’t look like my parents; it was a small thing, but I didn’t like it. And I didn’t like not knowing about my family’s medical history.” I sighed. “I’d sometimes ask myself who I would have been if my birth mother kept me.”

She petted my chest. “Do you know anything about your biological parents?”

I clenched my hand in her hair. “My biological mother came looking for me once. I was thirteen. She just turned up one day, out of the fucking blue. She saw my picture in the paper with my adoptive parents at some kind of art gallery opening; said she knew it was me because I looked just like my father, but I had her eyes.”

“And?”

“And I told her to go away.” I’d rejected her the way she rejected me. “My parents saw that as loyalty to them. Honestly, I was just angry. Know why? Her first words were, ‘I’m your mom. Your real mom.’ And that just pissed me off. Annette was my mom. This woman gave birth to me, sure. But then she left me. She
chose
to do that. She dumped me on a church doorstep, knowing I could end up anywhere. She didn’t go through an adoption process, she didn’t hand me over to social services…she just dumped me.”

Imani’s hands balled up into little fists. Fury glimmered in her eyes. “She shouldn’t have just turned up like that. You were only thirteen. For all she knew, you didn’t even
know
you were adopted. It was insensitive and selfish.”

I soothingly massaged Imani’s head. “She seemed surprised that I didn’t want to talk to her. People seem to automatically assume you want to meet your biological parents. I didn’t. I
wondered
about them— wondered what they looked like, what they did, if they were poor or rich, if my father even knew I existed at all, if my mother ever thought about me and if she was ashamed of me—but I was content with the family I had. Maybe I wouldn’t have felt so rejected if she had given me up in a different way. Still, maybe I should have heard her out.”

Imani’s expression was gentle. “You were a teenager and in shock.”

“She probably just wanted money anyway.” But I’d never know.

“It’s okay that you were angry with her. Hell,
I’m
angry with her.”

Her protectiveness made me smile. “I had a good family, Imani. They were good people. They always supported me. They loved me in their way. They were encouraging and gave me the best of everything. Being adopted doesn’t define me.”

Her eyes narrowed. “What do you mean they loved you ‘in their way’?”

“They weren’t family orientated. Their relationship was more like a business partnership. They liked to socialise, entertain, and hold dinner parties. Even Christmas was like a gathering that’s only purpose was to do some social networking. They were good people,” I reiterated, “just not family people. Tell me about your family.”

Her smile was wan. “Oh, I was a big disappointment to them.”

I frowned, growling, “Disappointment?”

“My family are very ambitious, academic people—which is great, good for them. And I’m proud of all their achievements. They work hard and they deserve what they have. But I’ve just never been like them. I liked learning new things, but I wasn’t academic.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I used to get so bored in school because I liked to learn through
doing
things, not by copying things from chalkboards and textbooks. My parents and teachers thought I had a poor concentration span. It wasn’t that. I was just utterly bored.”

“I can imagine.” And I knew her well enough to know… “You used to fall asleep in class, didn’t you?” Imani could sleep anywhere.

Her smile widened just a little. “Once or twice.”

I had a feeling that was a massive understatement. “So your parents were disappointed because you weren’t like them?” 

“Yes. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor. I had no interest in being either one of those things. I don’t think it’s wrong if someone isn’t ambitious or doesn’t have a ‘calling’ or whatever. But they didn’t agree.”

“They didn’t understand you.”

“No, they didn’t. They didn’t get that I was happy just going with the flow and enjoying the present moment. I didn’t think too much on the future. Didn’t
want
to make grand plans. I just wanted to be…me, I guess. But I wasn’t enough for them.”

I kissed her. “Then they’re assholes and you never needed them.”

She yawned, pretty much melting on top of me. I wasn’t surprised. It had been an eventful, long-ass night and she’d not long recovered from a bout of induced exhaustion.

I lightly tapped her ass. “Come on, let’s get you in bed.”

“I’m not tired,” she insisted as I carried her inside.

“Bullshit, baby.” In the bedroom, I stripped us both and spooned her. “Sleep.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Tomorrow, we’ll have all kinds of fun.”

She snickered. After another yawn, she whispered, “Thanks for sharing tonight.”

I kissed her hair. “Right back at you.”

Seconds later, she was asleep, which was pretty typical for Imani. For a while, I just lay there, listening to her breathe and inhaling her scent—so fucking thankful that she was finally all mine, and determined that nothing would change that.

CHAPTER NINE

(Imani)

Sitting at the breakfast bar, I watched Butch putter about the kitchen as he prepared breakfast. We hadn’t spent a day or night apart since we made our relationship public three nights ago. Yet, I didn’t feel smothered. I liked having him around so much. Liked it when we’d settle on the sofa while he watched the game and I read my Kindle. Liked it when he made us dinner—yep, the guy could cook
seriously
well—or we watched re-runs of
American Horror Story
and
The Walking Dead
.

I also liked it when he made me come so hard I almost passed out.

He didn’t invade my space, he fit into it. I did worry that he might miss having his own space. But he seemed content enough with the way things were.

If it wasn’t for the dragon situation and the fact that the girls
still
weren’t talking to me, all would be perfect in my world. Ava had paid me a visit, wanting us to speak in private. Butch, however, had refused to leave the room since he didn’t trust her not to upset me. I hadn’t insisted on him leaving because I figured if Ava was going to insult him, he had every right to be there.

Surprisingly, Ava hadn’t spouted any insults. She’d admitted that she worried this wouldn’t end well, but she also said we made a cute couple. She could see that I was happy; that Butch made me happy. That was good enough for her.

According to Ava, the other girls’ anger had cooled a little. At this point, they were mostly just concerned about me. Paige, however—who continued to ignore my calls—was still nursing her grudge. Knowing my BFF well, I was pretty sure she was holding onto her anger to cover her hurt feelings; Paige didn’t like to show pain as she saw it as a weakness.

I didn’t like knowing I’d hurt this person who had protected me several times over the years—a person who had been sent to kill me but had instead chosen to join me. But there wasn’t a lot I could do until she was prepared to hear me out. I’d thought about tracking all of my supposed friends down to say my piece, but I agreed with Butch that I didn’t need to explain myself to them or anyone else.

As for his squad…Salem and David had decided to stay out of the matter, though they had made it clear to Butch that they would be pissed if he messed this up. Max seemed to have backed down, since he was no longer standoffish with Butch. Then again, he wasn’t exactly warm with him either. The rest of the squad were, in Sam’s words, acting like twats…as if they were all simply waiting for him to let me down and walk away.

It was a shit situation, and it meant I spent many hours debating whether to bitch-slap these people who, though their hearts were in the right place, were being too judgemental. Butch didn’t seem as infuriated by it, and I figured that was because he was used to people thinking badly of him. He was used to being judged.

That wasn’t something I liked at all. He didn’t—

“You’re in deep thought,” said Butch, placing a coffee-flavoured NST in front of me.

Unscrewing the lid, I sipped at the drink. “You can’t walk around bare-chested and expect me not to disappear into my fantasies.”

He snorted, not buying that. “What were you thinking about, baby?”

“Nothing new. I’m just annoyed that most of the people we call friends won’t even give us—this—a chance.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

He didn’t seem totally convinced. “I’m trusting that you’ll tell me if something about us is bothering you. I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“Nothing at all is wrong, I swear. I sometimes worry that you might miss having your space, but that’s it.”

“My space?”

“You’re used to being alone.” I took another sip of my NST. “Isn’t it strange for you to suddenly have me with you all the time?”

His eyes narrowed. “Is this your way of telling me that I’m taking up too much of your space?”

“If it were that, I’d just say it. It’s
you
I’m concerned about. I swear I won’t be upset or offended if you choose to have some time alone.” I wouldn’t. I’d totally get it.

Cupping my chin, he breezed his thumb along my lower lip. “I spent almost a year without you, baby. Not real keen on being away from you now. Just give me this, all right?”

I swallowed. “Okay.”

“Good girl.” He turned, grabbed our plates, placed them on the bar, and took his seat. “Now eat.”

As the taste of biscuits and gravy hit my tongue, I groaned. “I have to say, your cooking skills are much appreciated.”

He smiled. “I’m glad, but you won’t be benefitting from them tonight.” I must have looked petulantly disappointed, because he chuckled. “The new Mexican restaurant opens tonight, remember?”

I’d completely forgotten about that. “Then I don’t mind missing your skills for one night.”

After breakfast, we dressed and headed for the conference room. It was the first meeting we’d had in three nights, since Sam and Jared had wanted us to focus on training and being at our best. Silence fell as we entered. Only Ava, Salem, David, and Max greeted us. Some of the guys frowned at Butch, the others ignored him. As for the rest of my squad...they didn’t even glance my way. Butch’s hand supportively tightened on mine.

We took the empty seats between Salem and David, and I cast them both a smile—acting like it didn’t hurt that my friends were behaving this way. Butch’s arm hung over the back of my chair, his hand rested on my shoulder. The move was both possessive and protective, and I very much doubted it went unnoticed.

It wasn’t long before Sam, Jared, and Luther entered. Once they had taken their seats, Sam said, “Evening all. We have some news. Marco called an hour ago. The dragon shifter Alpha agreed to speak with Imani.” She looked at me. “He’s refusing to allow you to step on his territory, though. He’s much too wary of the legion, and he’s far too protective of his drove to take any chances.”

“So where will the meeting take place?” I asked.

“The land that borders both theirs and Lazarus’ territory. Marco will be with you as a friendly face. Butch, David, and one of Evan’s vampires, Ian, will go with you.”

Paige frowned. “Ian?”

“He can teleport,” said Sam. “If there’s a problem, Ian will get them away from there fast.”

David was also a good choice because, one, he had the gift of knocking someone into a coma with a psionic blast and, two, he was Butch’s partner during assignments; they were used to working together. It helped that there was no tension between him and Butch. Tension would be a distraction, and we didn’t need distractions in a situation like that.

Sam continued, “The rest of you will wait in the castle with me and Jared in case we’re needed.” She stood. “Right, time for training.”

The session was as gruelling and demanding as always. After lunch, Jared set a punishing pace that left me aching afterwards. But by the time Butch and I were showered and changed, my muscles were once again fine.

As I stood in front of the mirror putting on my earrings, Butch came up behind me and settled his hands on my waist. In his designer shirt and pants, he looked like something out of a GQ magazine. “Love this dress, baby.”

The little black sleeveless dress was one of the many garments that Fletcher chose for me; he was a great shopping partner. “Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself.”

Smiling, he spoke into my ear. “I’m going to spend all night imagining whipping this dress off you.”

“There are worse ways to spend an evening.”

He chuckled. “Come on, let’s go.”

The restaurant was heaving, so it was a good thing that Butch had booked us a table in advance. The interior had a hacienda look to it with the colour scheme of terracotta, gold, green, blue, and mandarin. The Mexican pottery suns, paintings, tapestries, and metal art geckos added to the theme.

Waiting to be seated, I heard a laugh that I knew as well as my own.
Paige
.
That was when I realised that the girls, with the exception of Ava, were here. Great. I would have liked to put them at the back of my mind so I could enjoy my evening. No such luck.

Feeling Butch’s grip on my hand flex, I looked up at him.

“We can go if you want.” So he’d noticed the girls, too.

I shook my head. “I’ve been looking forward to this meal all night.”

He studied me for a few moments and then nodded. The waiter then appeared and guided us to a circular table, which fortunately was far away from the girls. After we ordered our food, Butch moved his chair next to mine and gave me his full attention.

Throughout the next hour, we ate, talked, and laughed. He was sure to touch me constantly. Every touch was somehow sweet, sensual, and possessive all at the same time. It had been a while since I’d had this much fun on a date, and I was pretty sure there was a Barbie-like smile on my face.

“Hey, you two,” greeted an excitable voice.

My smile dimmed. “Hi, Jen.” Butch merely nodded at her.

Jen was one of the females who worked at the shoe store. She was also…familiar with Butch—the last female he’d been with before he and I got together, to be specific. I reminded myself that, like with the others, it had only been a one-night stand; Jen hadn’t meant anything to him. That didn’t stop me from being pissed the fuck off at the flirtatious, nostalgic smile she flashed him.

I wished I could say that I didn’t like her. I actually did. Jen was a nice, bubbly, friendly person. She could just be a little
too
friendly with guys, even if they were spoken for. That didn’t discourage her. Maybe she was just so insecure that she needed that constant reinforcement that guys thought she was beautiful, or maybe it was something else—I had no idea.

Sitting on the table adjacent to ours, she angled her body toward Butch. As the night went on, she laughed too loud and did just about everything to get his attention; stroking her hair, arching her neck, playing her fingers over her cleavage, and licking her lips. He shifted so that his back was to her and he was better facing me. That didn’t make her stop.

I supposed I’d have to get used to bumping into his past encounters, since it was a small island with more males than females.

Butch nipped my earlobe, no doubt irritated that he didn’t have my full attention. “What’s wrong?”

“What do you think?” Okay, that came out a little harsh.

His eyes widened. “Jen’s getting to you? I thought you’d find it more pathetic than anything else.”

“It is pathetic. That doesn’t mean it isn’t irritating. I blame you.”

“How is this my fault?”

“It’s not, but I’m still blaming you.” I knew it was pointless and petty to get annoyed about being around females from his past, but I couldn’t help it. “I did warn you about my jealous streak.”

“Baby…” He stroked his thumb over my jaw. “She’s not important to me. Never was.”

“I know. It’s still not a pleasant situation.” Hearing Jen’s way-too-loud laugh once more, I grit my teeth. “I’ll say one thing for her: she’s persistent.” She was also close to having my fork shoved down her throat.

He just shrugged, as if she was none of his concern. “If she can’t clearly see that you’re someone to me, she’s either blind or stupid.”

I was leaning toward ‘stupid’ because it sounded better while I was feeling bitchy. “You were with her when I was with Dean, weren’t you?”

“With her? I wouldn’t phrase it that way.”

“Does it bother you that people call you a hit and run?” Even before we started this relationship, I was considered special for the simple reason that I’d lasted a month with him, even though it had been a month of casual sex.

He flashed me a crooked smile. “I’ve been called worse.” His arm slid around my neck until I was burrowed into the crook of his elbow. “None of them wanted more than a night of fun, baby. No one got hurt.”

“You’re wrong, you know. Plenty of girls wanted more from you, including Jen. She’s nice.” But still at risk of having her hair shaved off with a blunt razor.

He shrugged. “She’s not you.” He kissed me. “None of them were you, and that was the problem. I didn’t want a pale substitute. I wanted you. The real thing. I just didn’t think that would ever happen. Especially not when I heard that Dean planned to be Turned.”

As a human, Dean could never have been a real mate to me because we could never have Bound. He’d claimed to want to be a vampire so that we could have a real life together. But…“Sometimes I wonder if he played me, hoping I’d Turn him to keep him with me.”

Butch tilted his head. “You didn’t offer to ask Sam and Jared’s permission to Turn him?”

“I made it clear to Dean that I don’t plan to Turn anyone. Starting a line is a serious thing and involves responsibilities that I don’t want.”

His mouth twisted. “How long was it after that conversation that he cheated?”

“A week.” Which made it very likely that I had indeed been played. God,
I
was dumb. A part of me was hurt by his behaviour, but it was a teeny, weeny part because I now had something much better.