Fractured (The Deep in Your Veins Series Book 5) (8 page)

He pinned my gaze. “Every time the human touched you, every time he made you smile or laugh, it fucking hurt. My lungs would burn and my chest would ache. Every. Time. That doesn’t happen when it’s only about sex, Imani.”

No, it didn’t. And I hadn’t expected him to say that; I didn’t have a response for it.

“Stop.” His thumb tugged my lower lip free of my teeth. “You’re making me want to bite it, and that’s distracting. Now, tell me, are you fighting me so hard because you don’t want this…or because you do but you’re scared to take a chance on me?”

“I
did
take a chance on you.”

“And I fucked it up. I know that. And trust me when I say that no one regrets that more than I do. I tried to let you go. It didn’t work. It was never going to work, but I didn’t see that until it was too late. I drove you away, and for that I’m sorry. That shit won’t happen again.”

Searching his gaze, I saw only sincerity there. But it wasn’t enough. “I think you believe that. I think you want us to be together and that you want it to be a permanent thing. But I also think there’s a good chance that it won’t happen that way.”

“Explain.”

“We have some obstacles to deal with. If we got together, not a single person would support us in that. They’ll doubt that you’re serious about it for all the same reasons that I did. You have a bad rep. You like your emotional space. You’ve never shown any interest in relationships.”

“I know—”

“Just hear me out. A year ago, when I lasted more than one night with you, people were hopeful. Even though it seemed to be only casual sex, they thought that just maybe you’d pull your head out of your ass. They thought that just maybe you might take a shot at something more. But then the end of the month came, and you made it clear that we wanted different things. Let me again repeat that I’m not judging you for that—I never did. But
they
did. So it won’t matter what you say to them; you won’t convince them that you’re serious. They’ll figure that you’ll be gone once we hit the one-month mark.”

His hands flexed on my hips. “They’ll be wrong.”

“My point is that during that time, you can bet your ass that they won’t be cool about it. They won’t even consider giving you the benefit of the doubt. They’ll try to convince me to walk away. There’ll be a lot of tension. Is that what you want?”

“You’re more important to me than them. I don’t give a fuck if I have other people’s approval or not. I don’t need it. Eventually, they’ll see that they were wrong and that shit will be over.”

“Maybe, but that’s not the only obstacle we’ll be facing. My reflex to anyone pushing me is to completely disregard every word they’re saying, which will rub you the wrong way because you’re a naturally pushy person. Am I wrong?”

“No, which means I’ll have to work on not barking orders, and you’ll have to work on not doing the opposite just to be contrary.”

The guy had an answer for everything. “How about the fact that you don’t connect with people? You don’t share what’s going on in your head; you internalise everything, and you hide your emotions so damn well that most people think you don’t feel anything. This won’t work if you can’t be open with me. And I don’t want to be in a relationship where I’m having to read between the lines and guess what my partner is thinking. I need you to talk to me, to share with me, to be upfront with me. I’m not saying I want you to change, I don’t. I’m just saying I’d need you to work with me to keep this relationship going, and that means communicating.”

“I’ve been upfront about my feelings so far, haven’t I?”

Okay, he had a point there. “But could you keep doing that?”

“With you, yeah. Just don’t expect me to be like that with everybody else.”

“There’s something else that’s going to be an issue. I hate to say it—really, really hate to say it—but I have jealousy issues. Don’t get me wrong, I recognise that this is
my
problem to deal with, and I wouldn’t become paranoid or see things that aren’t there. But you’ve slept with a lot of females on this island, and I won’t do well with that. I can be a bitch when jealousy is riding me,” I warned.

“None of them meant anything to me. Not one.” His thumbs stroked my hipbones. “But Dean
did
mean something to you, and it’s pretty hard for me to deal with that even though I’m not a jealous person. So I figure we both need to make the other feel secure enough that those issues go away.

“Look, I know this won’t be easy, Imani.
I
won’t be easy. I can be pushy, selfish, insensitive, aggressive, and I like my own way. I’ll fuck up, but I will never purposely hurt you. I want to be the one who makes you smile, who makes you laugh, who makes you feel safe, and who makes you come every night. I’ll do my damn best to make sure all of that happens.”

I swallowed, unable to miss the total sincerity in his eyes and tone. I’d never thought I’d hear those words from him. Never.

“You’re right that we’ll have no support from the people around us. That means we gotta be tight, Imani. It means we gotta stand strong against it and have each other’s back. I’m up for that challenge. This is not me choosing to
try
a relationship. I’m claiming you as mine. You belong to me and only me, just like I belong to you.”

Pausing, he framed my face with his hands. “I’m a big risk. I get that. No one—not even me, baby—can judge you for being hesitant to take that risk. So maybe you should ask yourself if you’d regret it if you
didn’t
take that risk. I know what it’s like to live with that kind of regret, Imani. Let me tell you; it’s shit, and it eats at you. I didn’t take a risk on you when I should have. I didn’t make the right choice, and that hurt us both. I won’t pull that shit again. I want you to be happy. I don’t know how the fuck I’ll manage to make you happy, but I’ll sure as hell try.”

It wasn’t often I found myself a little lost for words. I couldn’t remember a time when my happiness had mattered to anyone. I’d grown up in a household where I was a constant disappointment to the people around me. I’d just never been good enough for them, never had a real place in my own family. It was more like I’d existed around them.

Not once had my parents ever smiled at just the sight of me. Nothing I did had ever impressed them or brought them joy or pride. Not one single thing. They’d wanted me to live my life
their
way, regardless of if that made me happy or not. I wanted to be happy. Sometimes, searching for good things meant taking risks.

I put my hands on his chest. “Want to know why I don’t like entering into relationships that don’t have possibilities? My grandmother was in her late twenties when she got divorced. She didn’t do too well with it, and she was pretty lonely. She told me that she met a guy a few years later; that he cared for her and she cared for him…but she wasn’t ready for anything serious. She needed more time before she committed to someone again. So they went their separate ways.

“She never found anyone else. People take it for granted that they’ll meet someone later ‘when they’re ready.’ But that doesn’t always happen, so they end up settling for somebody because they don’t want to be alone. My grandmother didn’t want to settle for someone she didn’t truly care for. So she grew old alone, she shared all her highs and lows alone, and she died alone. I don’t want that for myself. I don’t want to live with that kind of regret.”

“Is this you agreeing to take a chance on me, baby?”

“Well…yeah.”

His mouth curved into a lopsided grin. “Good…that means I don’t have to keep you captive until you agree to give me what I want.” I got the feeling he wasn’t kidding. “And I want everything, Imani. I know I’ve gotta earn that. I will. I swear that to you, baby.”

I nodded. His mouth closed over mine, and his tongue swept inside. Tasted. Dominated. Owned. Butch didn’t kiss, he possessed. Demanded everything I had and took it greedily while his hands pulled me closer, letting me feel how hard he was for me.

He broke the kiss with a growl. “All I want to do right now is fuck you. But first, you need to feed.”

I did. When Kejas were thirsty, it caused a slight discomfort at the back of our throat. Mine was now more like a rough tickle. As he cupped the back of my head and put my mouth to his throat, my fangs descended.

“Feed, baby. You need it.” He groaned as I sank my fangs into his throat. “That’s it. Good girl.”

His taste—hazelnuts and dark chocolate—settled on my tongue, soothed my throat, and seemed to spread through me like warm honey. I drank and drank, helplessly grinding against the long, hard cock digging into me. Forcing myself to pull back, I licked over the bite and watched as it closed.

Growling, he fisted a hand in my hair and yanked me closer. I expected him to do what he’d done many times before: pull my head aside and bite hard. Hell, I was looking forward to it. He didn’t. Instead, he licked at my throat—long, sensual licks that made my toes curl. I had a seriously sensitive neck, and it seemed to have a direct link to my clit. And the bastard knew it.

I threaded my fingers through his hair as his tongue circled my pulse. When he sucked it into his mouth, I gasped…waiting with anticipation for him to bite down. His teeth dug into my skin, but they didn’t break it. Then he was licking at my throat again. Lapping my pulse. Nipping it. Grazing it with his teeth. Everything but biting it.

Was he waiting for me to
ask
him to do it? Was that it? I wasn’t too proud to ask, especially not when I was wet and aching for him. “Drink from me.” He held my rapidly beating pulse between his teeth, but he still didn’t bite down. “Do it and—” I broke off as his hand dove into my shorts and panties, cupping me possessively. “Shit.”

He spoke into my ear as he slid a finger between my folds. “I’ll have my taste when my cock’s in you, taking what belongs to me.
Only
me, Imani.” He thrust his finger inside. “Ride it.”

I rose up and down on his finger, my head falling back as sensations rocketed through me.

The hand in my hair pulled my face to his. “No,” he said against my mouth. “I want your eyes.” I kept my gaze locked with his as I rode his finger, my nails biting into his shoulders. “That’s it. You’re getting tighter. You need to come, don’t you?”

I did, I needed it right then…but he shook his head.

“Not until I’m in you.”

“I can’t wait.”

“You will.” He drove another finger inside me, his eyes daring me to come despite his warning.
Motherfucker.
It wasn’t that Butch got off on defiance or even submission. No, he got off on pushing me; on making me take as much as I could take. So when his fingers curved just right and my release got that little bit closer, he withdrew his fingers—not in the least bit bothered by the insults I slung at him.

In Pagori speed, he took me to the bedroom, stripping us both naked along the way. He roughly flung me on the bed and draped himself over me. Then his hand was palming my breast as he sucked my nipple deep into his mouth. Hard. Roughly. Letting me feel the edge of his teeth. “Fuck, baby, this is going to be fast.” His tongue curled around my neglected nipple before giving it one long, hard suck. “I’ve waited too long for this.”

Curling my limbs tight around him, I dug my nails into his back. “Then don’t wait any longer.” I arched into him, rubbing against the head of his cock. “Now.”

He slammed home, groaning as my body squeezed and pulsed around him. I’d totally forgot how much he stretched me; forgot how good the burn felt. He didn’t pause to let me get used to his size. Just pounded into me at a feral pace, going so deep it hurt. But I loved that, even needed it. No one had ever fucked me the way he did—his movements were always dominant and aggressive, and yet there was a reverence there that I could feel but not fully explain.

“I’ve missed this,” he rumbled against my throat, closing a hand over my breast and squeezing hard. “Missed the feel of you. Tight and hot and perfect. You were made to take my cock, Imani.” He thrust harder, faster. His teeth raked over my pulse, teasing and warning me. And when he slid a hand between us to part my folds, exposing my clit to every hard slam of his cock, my release finally crashed into me.

Contracting around him, I screamed. Butch sank his teeth into my throat, drinking deep. At the same time, his spine locked and he exploded deep in me with a growl.

Feeling totally wiped, I melted into the mattress, panting and shaking.

He licked over the bite. “Needed that.” He rolled us so that I was sprawled on his chest with his cock still in me. His eyes roamed over my face. “Never thought I’d have you again.” The pain of that was in his tone. “This is gonna be a rough ride, baby.”

“I know.” We each had our issues to deal with, and people weren’t going to accept our relationship in a hurry.

“Are you with me?”

“I’m with you.”

“That’s all I need to know.” He tucked my face into his neck. “Sleep.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

(Imani)

Our plan to reveal our relationship was pretty simple: we’d tell everyone all at once by walking into the conference room, hand in hand. Then nobody could be pissed that someone found out before them, and we could get the whole ‘you two are making a mistake’ thing over and done with in one swoop.

However, Fletcher sent a text message to notify us that there would be no conference that evening. As such, Butch and I altered our plan so that we would make our relationship public when we entered the arena to begin our training session.

I wasn’t looking forward to it, but I was in a good mood since Butch woke me at dusk by shoving his cock deep in me. It was slow and sensual this time, but still just as phenomenal. Probably just because it was him.

Ready to leave, Butch gave me one last deep kiss as I opened the door. Then I heard a gasp…and realised our plan had just been fucked up. Paige and Alora stood gaping at us. But Paige’s expression quickly became a scowl.

Alora pointed from me to Butch. “You…and you?”

As he slid an arm around my shoulders, I replied, “Yeah, we’re together now.”

“But…you said you were done with the bed buddy thing.”

I nodded. “That’s true, and—”

“You said you were done with
him
. You said you were done with letting him use you.”

“I know, but—”

“How long has this been going on?” Paige snapped. “Is this why he came here the other night? You know what, I can’t believe you’d keep something like this from me.”

I’d known that would bother her most of all. We’d been through a lot together; she’d trusted me with all her secrets. “Paige, it wasn’t like that.” There hadn’t been much to tell until last night.

She took a step back, her smile bitter. “Oh, I see what it was like.”

“I was going to tell you, tell
all
of you, tonight. This is—”

“Bullshit,” Paige bit out. “It’s. Total. Fucking. Bullshit. You’re smarter than this.” She pointed at Butch. “And if you cared about anyone but yourself, you’d realise she deserves better. You’d walk away before you hurt her
again
.”

I held up a hand. “Paige, just let me talk a second.”

“Talk?” She barked a sardonic laugh. “You weren’t interested in talking to me about this before.
How many times have I confided in you, Imani? How many times have I told you shit that I’ve never told anyone? Yet, here you are keeping things from me.”

“Paige—”

“Not that I need to ask
why
you kept this from me. You knew I wouldn’t like it; you knew I’d tell you that you’re being dumb, and you didn’t want to hear that. You didn’t want to hear the truth, because you didn’t want to face it. You wanted to live in a fantasy land where Butch actually gives a flying fuck about you.”

He puffed out a breath. “Didn’t have you pegged as the dramatic type, Paige.”

“Excuse me?” she hissed.

“You’re protective of Imani, I get it. You don’t want her to be with someone like me, I get that too. But this isn’t about you. And if you’d push past your protective streak and your hurt feelings and let her fucking speak, you’d hear that you’ve got this wrong.”

“No, Butch, you might be able to bullshit her, but you won’t bullshit me. Nu-uh.” With that, she stormed off with a majorly annoyed Alora close behind her.

Sighing, I rubbed at my forehead. “I can’t say that didn’t hurt. But I also can’t say I didn’t expect it to go like that. It’s going to be mere moments before this reaches the others.” Alora would tell Evan, who would tell Sam and Jared. Paige would tell the other girls, at which point Jude and Ava would tell their mates. Salem and Chico would then tell the other members of their squad. “Paige is seriously pissed at me.”

Butch kissed my temple. “She’ll get over it.”

“You don’t know Paige like I do. That girl can hold a grudge.”

“Having second thoughts?”

I frowned. “No. I knew when I made my choice that people would react badly. You were right; we have to be tight and stand against it.”

“So you’re still with me on that?”

“I’m with you.”

He nodded in satisfaction and twined his fingers with mine. “Let’s get to the arena and get the rest of this shit over with.”

As if by mutual agreement, we took a slow walk out of the building and to the arena. It seemed that neither of us were in any rush to listen to more people slate our decision. I kept my chin up as we walked inside, still hand in hand. To my surprise, none of the girls were there. I didn’t know what that meant, but I guessed it was an ‘I’m so pissed at you, I can’t even look at you right now’ message.

Butch’s squad was there, however. With the exception of David and Salem, they all scowled at him. The weight of their disapproval and anger set on my shoulders like lead. It also ticked me off big style. Who were they to freaking judge?

None of them spoke. They just stared at Butch expectantly, as if waiting for him to begin explaining himself.

Finally, Chico arched a brow at Butch. “Got something you want to tell us?”

Butch just shrugged, nonchalant. “You already know.”

“It’s not enough that you fucked her over once before?”

I was about to make it clear that he hadn’t fucked me over; that I’d known what I was getting into a year ago and I’d chosen to take a risk, but Reuben was speaking before I could.

“I thought better of you, Butch. I really did.”

“Jude is having a shit fit right now,” said Chico. “She’s also considering slicing off your balls. I had to confiscate her knife.”

“It’s nothing to do with Jude or any of you,” Butch stated, his tone even.

“Wrong,” insisted Chico. “This is
Imani
we’re talking about. She’s not just anyone. She’s a member of the legion, she’s under our protection.”

“If you want to be a hit and run guy,” began Harvey, “I figure that’s your business. But when the girl you’re running over is a member of the legion and under our protection, it becomes our business.”

Chico nodded. “We gave you the benefit of the doubt a year ago, because we trusted that you wouldn’t get involved with someone you’re supposed to protect unless it was serious. We realised we were wrong. So don’t think any of us will trust you not to hurt her a second time.”

“There are other females on this island for you to use and drop,” said Damien.

I narrowed my eyes. “And you’re so certain he’ll use and drop me?”

Looking at me like I was dumb, Damien snapped, “Well he’s done it before, honey.”

“Careful,” warned Butch. It was a lethal whisper that made Damien swallow hard.

“He doesn’t use women to be an asshole, Imani,” Denny told me, his voice gentle. “He does it because he’s not capable of more. That’s why we’re worried here.”

Nodding, Max turned to Butch. “I’d like to think you’ve changed. I’d like to think that you’ll be different with Imani. But I know you won’t, because you walked away from her once before.”

“And you know this isn’t good or you wouldn’t have hidden it,” added Reuben.

Butch lifted a single brow. “Since when do I have to announce the details of my personal life to all of you?”

No one had an answer to that.

Wiping a hand over his face, Stuart looked at me. “Imani, you’ve got to see that Butch isn’t who you need. You just got out of a relationship after being let down by someone you trusted. Do you really want to go through that again?”

“Is this like a rebound thing?” Harvey asked me. “You’re feeling lonely and vulnerable and just looking for something to fill the void?”

My eyes widened. “No. It’s so far from a rebound, it isn’t even funny—not that I need to justify myself to you. And I’d just like to point out that some people worried that Salem wouldn’t be good for Ava, but no one said shit about it.” Though that may have been because Sam threatened that any interference would be met with bodily harm.

Damien, Stuart, and Denny shifted uncomfortably as they glanced guiltily at Salem.

Reuben jabbed a finger in Butch’s direction. “If you have any decency in you, you’ll end this before you have the chance to hurt her.”

Looking bored, Butch ran his gaze along everyone. “You all done now?”

Reuben cursed. “Don’t you have any—” He cut off as Sam and Jared entered the arena. “Have you heard about Imani and Butch’s special news?” he asked, his tone mocking.

“I don’t think that’s the business of anyone here other than Imani and Butch,” said Sam.

I blinked, surprised.

Chico gaped at her. “You can’t tell me you’re okay with this, Coach.”

David cleared his throat. “Let’s just forget about this and start the session. Coach is right; this is their business.” Salem grunted in agreement.

After a moment, Reuben inclined his head. “Fine.” His annoyed gaze moved to me and Butch. “I think it would be best if you two go. Emotions are running too high in here right now, and we need to have our heads straight while we’re training.”

My mouth fell open. Had he really just said that?

Face blank, Butch said to him, “I don’t recall asking what you think is best. If Coach and Jared want us to leave, we’ll do just that.” Butch looked at the couple. “But I’ll never enter this arena again. I remember Max once making an offhand comment about you two out of jealousy.”

The image of awkwardness, Max averted his gaze.

“You told him personal shit has no place in this arena,” Butch said to Sam. “Is that true? Or does that only apply to some people?”

She didn’t reply, but her next words made her stance perfectly clear. “Take your usual places.”

Chico’s face hardened. “Coach, seriously—”

“I
am
bloody serious,” she fairly snarled. “You can be pissed at Butch and Imani in your own time. Though why you’re all taking this personally as if they’re together to spite you, I don’t know. It’s bloody ridiculous. Stop fucking whining and get your shit together.”

Jared nodded his agreement. “You get to feel how you feel, but you don’t get to use this arena as a place to vent.”

Glancing around, Sam frowned. “Where are the girls?” When no one spoke, she hissed, “Jared, call them here
now
.”

Looking a little worried on Jude’s behalf, Chico again spoke, “Coach—”

“Not another bloody word.”

Everyone fell silent as we waited for the rest of my squad to arrive. Paige fairly marched inside. Other than Ava, who cast me a weak smile, the girls pointedly ignored me. Nice.

Flicking her brown hair over her shoulder, Jude sighed. “Look, Sam—”

“If what’s about to come out of your mouth has anything to do with Imani and Butch, I don’t want to hear it,” Sam snapped, the mercury tint to her irises flaring slightly. It clearly took the girls aback. I couldn’t blame them for looking wary; I wouldn’t like to be on the receiving end of Sam’s anger either.

“Considering we might soon find ourselves in a battle with dragon shifters, we need to be at the top of our game,” said Jared, face hard. “We don’t have time for this shit.”

“You’re here to train, nothing else,” said Sam, slashing her hand through the air. “Now all of you stand over there and listen to what Jared and I have to say.”

(Butch)

Abashed, everyone did as they were told. I led Imani to the front and centre of the group—it was a message that we wouldn’t be pushed out. If the scowls directed at me were anything to go by, the message was received and it wasn’t much liked.

Slowly pacing in front of us, Sam began, “Most of you have been in battle before; you know what to expect, you know how bad it can get, you know the best attack and defence formations, and you know who to partner with if splitting up is necessary.” She halted. “But all of that is going to mean jack shit in the upcoming war.

“We won’t be up against our own kind. We’ll be up against creatures bigger and stronger than us. Worse, they can bloody fly—I don’t need to tell you that’s gonna be a
big
problem. It means they can fight from above, dodge our gifts with minimal effort, and it would be difficult to stop them from passing us.”

“The latter will be the biggest problem,” said Jared, feet wide apart. “In a battle against charging vampires, we could hold them off. But these creatures could just fly right over our heads.”

Sam resumed pacing. “Jared and I did a lot of thinking, and we’ve come up with some ideas that might help. You know I can extend my energy shield outwards to protect others. But what if I used it to contain the dragons in one place? It would mean we were inside the shield with them, so we wouldn’t be protected from them. But it would also mean they were trapped with us and unable to go any further. It would mean that any damage they did would be unable to spread.”

“Can you do that?” Imani asked.