Authors: Rachel McClellan
May was sitting in a chair, her hands tied to its arms with the same kind of rope binding me. Tape covered her mouth and part of her cheek was swollen. A cut above her right eye was partially scabbed over.
I shook my head. “Oh, May.” I tried to go to her, but Christian stopped me.
May looked at me beneath heavy lids. She looked so tired.
“I’m giving you a choice, Llona,” Christian said and removed a small blade from behind his back. “But it’s not a hard one. This will show you how much I love you.”
I wasn’t listening. I was looking all around the room, searching for anything I might use to free my hands and help May and Jackson. While Christian was talking, another Vyken had come into the room, and two more were out in the hall. There was no way I could fight them all, especially with my hands tied up.
“Are you listening, Llona?” He tapped me hard on the arm. “I’m letting you choose.”
“Choose what?”
“Who you’re going to kill.”
“Kill?”
“Easy right?” Christian walked in front of Jackson. “It’s either this jerk who betrayed the Auras, or your best friend, May.” He turned around and smiled. “I told you it would be easy. So which one are you going to stab through the heart?”
I stared at him, appalled.
“I can’t kill either of them.” But even as I said the words, my darker half told me I could do it. It longed to see the rest of Jackson’s blood flow to the ground.
Christian came to stand in front of me. “Of course you can, because if you don’t, I’m going to kill them both.”
The strength in my legs faltered, and I stumbled back until I was up against the wall. “Don’t do this, Christian. Please don’t ask this of me.”
He stepped close to me, his breath warming my cheek. I used to love being this close to him, but now it made me sick. The feeling only grew when his hands snaked around my waist. I held my breath. What was he doing? A second later he had untied my hands and brought them to the front, clutching them tightly.
I didn’t know whether to hurry and send a message to Liam or to start blasting everyone with Light. Before I could decide, Christian had bound my hands again at the wrists, this time in front of me. He placed the dagger into my fingers. “Hold onto it, but don’t try anything funny or they both die.”
When tears breached my eyelids, he said, “What’s the problem? I couldn’t have made this easier.”
“I can’t take an innocent life.” I snuffed out the voice in my brain telling me that I would enjoy killing Jackson.
“But he’s not innocent!” Christian’s face was growing red. “What is your deal? Are you really such a prude?”
“He may not be innocent for past deeds, but he’s not attacking me now. If I kill him,” I swallowed hard, “I won’t be able to come back from that.”
Christian raised his hand and stroked my face. “That’s the point, Llona. If you do this, we can be together. We can be great again.”
I shook my head. “Please don’t make me do this. Don’t make me choose.” I looked over at May. Great tears were rolling down her cheeks. Both of Jackson’s eyes were open now, and even he looked sad.
“Go on, Llona,” Christian said and nudged me forward. The blade fell from my hands and clamored against the concrete floor, rattling my nerves.
“You’re going to have to hold on to it tighter than that.” Christian picked it back up. He wrapped my fingers around the handle and squeezed. “A straight shot to his heart will do.” He pushed me forward again. Jackson was just in front of me, breathing hard.
“I won’t do this,” I said, meaning every word.
“Maybe you need an incentive. Luther, you know what to do.”
A tall Vyken with short black hair moved behind May. His hands gave her shoulders a tight squeeze until her eyes rolled back into her head, and she moaned into the tape over her mouth.
“Don’t hurt her!”
“Then make your choice!” Christian yelled.
I gripped the knife, staring hard at Jackson. My Vyken half begged me to do it, while my Auran half held back. If I killed him, it wouldn’t be like I was giving up my life for May; I would do that in a heartbeat. The reality was the second I became a full Vyken, I would hunt and kill Auras. So it wasn’t just my life I was trading for May’s.
“Kill me instead, Christian. Please.” I looked over at him. “I can’t—”
I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. Just as I looked back, Jackson was standing up and pressing his body into me. Into the knife. It slid into his belly with little resistance. When his legs buckled, the knife sliced upward. I cried out and let go. Jackson fell to the ground, blood flowing from his gut.
Christian looked at me, at the others, at May, color gone from his face. “What does this mean?”
I couldn’t speak, only shake my head slowly back and forth.
“You did it. You killed him!” Christian glanced at the other Vykens. “Right? She did it, right?”
I knelt next to Jackson and touched him lightly on the face with my bound hands. His eyes were wide, and he was gasping for air. Just as his eyelids began to close, he looked at me, and I swore he smiled.
“This isn’t right,” Christian said. He was pacing behind me. “That wasn’t supposed to happen!” He shoved me to the side and kicked at Jackson, but he was already dead.
Christian breathed hard, his chest heaving, while he stared down at Jackson’s body. “This was our chance, Llona. To be together.” His voice lowered. “And you blew it.” He spun around. The suddenness of it made me back up until I bumped into the wall.
“I would’ve done anything for you. In fact I did do everything for you. All so we could be together.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “They made me do things. They said it was the only way we could be together. Don’t you understand? That’s all I wanted.” He grimaced as if every part of him was in pain.
And in that moment I felt great pity and sadness. “I never wanted you to give up your soul for me,” I said, keeping my voice as gentle as possible.
Christian leaned back. The air between us was cold. “But I did,” he said. “And now you’re going to give up yours for me.”
He went over to May and shoved Luther out of the way. “I’m going to kill her,” he said. “And then you’re going to suffer so much that you’ll beg to be like me.” He gripped May around the throat.
“No!” I stretched out my bound hands. He gripped harder. May’s face was turning blue. “I’ll do anything!”
This gave him pause, and he looked up at me. “Anything?”
“Except kill my best friend. Please don’t ask me to do that.”
“I won’t. Not right now, anyway.” He released May, who immediately sucked in air through her nose. He circled around her and came in front of me. I backed up, but his arm came around my waist and pressed me to him. “I want you to kiss me,” he said. “Like you used to.”
The thought made me taste stomach bile. Going into this, I knew at some point I’d have to pretend to like him, but now that I was here, having witnessed his cruelty again, I wasn’t sure I could go through with what was obviously a dumb plan. I hate hindsight.
His face twisted ugly at my hesitation. “I don’t think I can keep from killing May much longer.”
I looked everywhere but at him. The Vykens in the room were watching us with amused expressions. Before I could think too much about it, I lifted on my tiptoes and pecked him on the lips. “There.”
He squeezed me tight until my back popped in several places. “That was the worst kiss I’ve ever had! Now kiss me like you mean it.”
“Give me a second,” I said and lowered my head to his chest. I could do this. Just think of Christian and how he used to be. I remembered the dance at Lucent Academy where he’d pursued me into the white curtains until we were hidden. The kiss we shared was full of passion. I lifted again, my lips pressing to his. I saw his face, what it used to be. For a moment there was love, but then I remembered the hurt and pain. My Christian was dead.
“What is your problem?” Christian cried. “This shouldn’t be so difficult.” Someone laughed behind us.
Christian’s muscles relaxed like he was going to let go of me. I couldn’t let that happen. I gripped the front of his shirt
with my bound hands to keep him from turning and slowed my breath. “Hold still,” I said.
I closed my eyes again and let my heart feel. But it wasn’t Christian’s face that came to my mind. It was Liam’s. My fingers moved up his chest and to his face. I opened my bound hands and caressed his jaw. His stubbled hair was coarse beneath my touch, just the way I thought it would feel. I leaned into him and inhaled deeply. A musky smell relaxed every part of me in a way that only Liam could do. I licked my lips and allowed myself to think of Liam in ways I wouldn’t have otherwise. My lips touched his and moved slowly. His mouth was softer than I expected, but after only a few seconds I hungered for more and pressed harder. Hands wrapped around my back. Too tight. Sharp nails dug into my skin. I broke away and gasped.
“That was amazing!” Christian said and tossed his head back, laughing. “When did you become such a wild cat?” He attempted to grope me, but I squirmed away.
“Now let May go,” I said.
“I will just as soon as—”
“Christian!”
He turned toward the door. A Vyken’s tall and muscular frame overwhelmed the doorway. “I have to talk to you right now.”
“I’m sort of in the middle of something, Creed,” Christian said.
“It involves Llona.”
This got his attention but not mine. Jackson was dead, and May had almost died. All because of Christian. I stumbled toward May while Christian was distracted. No one stopped me.
“What’s this about, Creed?” Christian was saying behind me.
“Are you okay?” I asked. As carefully as I could, I peeled back the covering on her mouth.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, tears running over red skin where the tape had been.
I smoothed her hair back, grimacing when I saw how deep the cut above her eye really was. “Shh. Don’t talk.”
“I just wanted to get to know my father,” she said through a sob, “and I thought I could help the Auras in the process. At least that’s what I told myself.”
“But I saw the car explode!” Christian was saying. “The witch is dead!”
“I’m going to get you out of here, May. I promise.” I glanced over my shoulder. Christian was getting increasingly upset.
“Llona tricked you,” a Vyken said. “They all did.”
Christian picked up a nearby chair and tossed it across the room. It broke into several pieces; one of them nearly hit me.
“Cyrus wants her punished,” Creed said.
Christian looked at me. “Oh, she will be.”
“Not by you.”
May was whimpering. I tried calming her down. “Everything’s going to be okay,” I said, but I wondered if it were true.
“But I already broke her leg!” Christian said. “That should prove to Cyrus that I won’t go soft on her.”
“Sorry, C. You’re out.” Creed motioned for the others to grab him.
Christian swung at the first two, but in a matter of seconds they had him contained. “I’ll kill whoever touches her!” he yelled as they dragged him from the room. The door closed behind him, leaving just Creed and the other Vyken. I clung to May with my bound hands, more frightened than I had ever been in my life. Never had I felt so powerless.
Creed came over to me and easily lifted me by my neck with one hand. “This is going to hurt a little.”
Darkness enveloped me into a
suffocating cocoon, making it difficult to breathe, and I wondered if that’s how a caterpillar felt just before it broke free from its hard prison. I had a feeling, though, that whatever I was trapped in wasn’t going to spit me out into a beautiful butterfly. I wanted to get out from within its smothering grip, but I was in too much pain to move. Even Light had abandoned me. Where was I?
There was a sound in the distance. A voice, gentle, yet threatening. I focused on it, trying to gain my bearings. The voice cut in and out like a radio with bad reception. I told my mouth to speak, to call for help, anything. I’m not sure it responded. Because I couldn’t do much of anything else, I submitted to the darkness, floating along on an endless sea of black.
Time passed, but I didn’t know how much. Soon I was able to hear words, the voice slightly distorted. It spoke apologies, professed love, promised things it should never promise. I wanted to cry but didn’t think I was capable of it anymore. Too many tears had already been shed.
Vykens had done terrible things to me. I didn’t want to think about it. Ever. Instead, I focused on the voice. Eventually it grounded me, and I opened my eyes, one of them anyway.
“You’re awake!” Christian said. He was kneeling by my bedside, a bloodied cloth in his hand. He patted it on my forehead.
At least it looked like he did. I couldn’t feel if the cloth had actually made contact.
“I’m so sorry, Llona. I wouldn’t have hurt you this bad. I swear I tried to get away, but they wouldn’t let me. Cyrus has these strict rules, you see, and if you go against him it’s like going against everyone. I wasn’t sure . . .”
He went on like this for some time. I didn’t care what he said anymore; I just wanted to get away.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m going to take care of you. I’ll be here every step of your recovery.”
“Untie me,” I whispered. Even breath passing over my lips stung.
“What was that?” he asked and leaned closer.
I swallowed, tasting blood, and gathered the strength to speak again. “Untie me so I can heal myself.” If I could be rid of the rope, it wouldn’t be too long before my Light at least made breathing not hurt so much.
Christian was quiet for a moment, like he was considering my request, but then he said, “Right. Well, I wish I could, but then I wouldn’t be able to take care of you as long as I’d like. And the more time we spend together, the better.”
I wanted to turn away from him and tried to, too, but my bones were grinding together in all the wrong places. I whimpered.
“Don’t move, Llona. Please? And don’t look at me like that. I want to help you, believe me I do, but if I don’t do this then I’m going to forget all about my love for you. It’s like every day a piece of you disappears from my heart.” He pounded his chest. “I don’t want to lose you, and I especially don’t want to hate you. You’re all I have left of my former self.”