Freight Trained (29 page)

She knew in her heart, she'd done the only thing she could to survive.  His fingers around her neck had meant business, and she knew he had every intention of ending her life.  Her actions had been justified.  She kept telling herself that, and she truly did believe it, most of the time. 

He nodded, looking down at his hat as he spun it with his fingers.

Abby leaned forward, placing a hand on his arm.  "How are you doing?" 

Two days ago, deputies discovered a body buried in a shallow grave behind Chad's cabin.  A gold locket around its neck identified it as Rachel Brody, Sam's daughter.

"I'll be okay.  It's finally good to know what happened.  Lay her to rest beside her mother."

Closure.  Good for the soul.  So why were more shadows swimming in the sheriff's copper eyes than before?

"Yeah, that's got to give you some peace."

"We'll see."  With a sigh, he stood, holding the swing in place so it wouldn't move then put his hat back on his head.  "You take care, Abby.  Be sure to call if you need anything." 
             

"I will, Sheriff, thank you."  She watched him drive off. 

When his car was no longer in sight, she got up, walked into the house, and plopped on the couch, hoping a nap might give her some much needed energy.  She wrapped herself tightly in the sheet
—
too afraid to sleep in her room so the couch was still her bed
—
turning herself into a cocoon.  Closing her eyes, she drifted off into dreams where she could no longer feel the pain.

Chapter Twenty-Three

A loud banging on her front door woke Abby out of a deep sleep.  She was disorientated not knowing what time or even what day it was.  Panicking when she couldn't move her arms, she jerked about until she fell off the couch in a heap of tangled sheets, landing solidly on the floor, striking her head on the coffee table.  She literally saw stars.  She rubbed at the spot fully expecting to discover blood on her fingers, pleasantly surprised when they came away clean.

The banging grew louder and more forceful.  Light shone through all the windows, so knew she hadn't been asleep too long.  She got to her feet, untangling herself from the rest of the sheet and tossing it back on the couch. 

She wrenched at the doorknob, pulling the door open swiftly, shocked to find Cole standing before her, fist stopped mid-pound a few inches from her security screen.  Her whole body froze.  Their gazes locked.  The world stood still.

She didn't know how long they stood there, taking each other in.  Long enough for her to take in every detail and commit it to memory.  The way the soft breeze caressed his hair like an invisible lover's fingers.  The definition of his cheekbones and his strong, firm jaw covered by a few days worth of beard.  His long, straight nose over a mouth that looked firm and unyielding but knew had soft lips that did indescribably wonderful things to her body. 

But it was his eyes that, as usual, held her attention, only this time for a different reason.  They were still their amazing shade of green with its darker band around, except now they were filled with sadness.  The once vibrant white, surrounding those beautiful orbs now red, attesting to a bone-weary tiredness the eyes could never hide.  Gone was the fierce, determined hardness that had enthralled her so and in its place was a sorrow so deep, she felt it in her soul. 

She must have made a noise
—
a soft moan or maybe a groan
—
because she felt the vibration in her throat, but her heart beat so loudly in her ears, she didn't hear the sound.

His eyes narrowed slightly into slits, his chest rising and falling a bit faster as if his breathing had picked up speed.  The fist that was raised, opened flat, his palm pressing against the metal grate of the screen door.

He was the first to speak, his voice low and gruff as if he hadn't used it in a while.  "You gonna let me in, Little Mouse?"

Her arm had a mind of its own as it reached out toward the door, her treacherous fingers flicking the lock.  He had the door opened and had stepped through before her brain had a chance to inform her, letting him in was a very bad idea.

His eyes did a sweep of her, head to toe then back again before settling on her face.  She knew she was a mess, it had been a rough week, and he'd woken her from a deep sleep.  Her hands flew to her hair to gauge its condition, but his one whispered word stilled her actions.

"Don't."

She slowly lowered her arms, and she saw a bit of his fierceness return to his eyes.

"You're beautiful.  In any condition, you're always perfect."

The sensible part of her brain, starting to catch up, prompted her to ask, "What are you doing here?"

He tried to take a step closer, but the rational part of her brain, now fully caught up, had her placing her hand on his chest, stopping him.  He covered her hand with his own, pressing it against his heart.  "I couldn't stay away any longer.  I had to see you, touch you," his head dipped, his nose within inches of her cheek, "smell you."

She took a step back, her arm stretched to its length, creating more distance between them.  "You can't..." her voice cracked.  "You can't do this.  My heart can't take it."  She attempted to put a firmness in her tone she didn't feel.  "You need to leave."

He shook his head.  "Not until I say everything I have to say."

She opened her mouth to speak, but he placed a finger over her lips.  "And then if you still want me to go, I will.  But I can promise you, I will be back tomorrow and the next day and the next to plead my case."

She sighed, figuring it best to let him get it all out now, knowing how stubborn he could be, and then he could go.  "Fine."

He directed her to the sofa.  Noticing the linens, his brow furrowed.  "Have you been sleeping on the couch?"

They sat, somewhat facing each other, close enough for their knees to touch, Cole's hands gripping hers.  Abby absently looked toward her bedroom door.  "Yeah, I haven't gotten around to changing the bedsheets since my parents left."  That was a lie.  She felt safer sleeping close to the front door.

It didn't look as if he believed her, but he let it slide and for that she was grateful.  She didn't have the emotional strength to deal with Cole and the events of last week.  One upset at a time was all she could endure. 

"You know I'm not very good with words, so I'm probably going to fuck this up but please bear with me and hear me out 'til the end."  He looked down at their joined hands.  "I was wrong
–
"  At her quick intake of breath, he looked up.  "I was wrong to leave you.  Especially while you were still in the hospital after living through what you did."  He looked at her neck, the bruises mostly faded but still visible then dropped his eyes to their joined hands again.  "I'll never forgive myself for that."   He looked back up, his eyes blazing into hers.  "But I'm asking for your forgiveness.  No, I'm begging for your forgiveness.  

"This past week, I've missed you so damn much."  His grip on her hand grew too tight, but she didn't complain.  Couldn't complain so long as he was touching her.  "My house is empty without you in it, but I see you everywhere.  Hear your laughter and sexy-as-fuck voice.  I wouldn't let the cleaning service change the sheets because I wanted your scent to surround me while I slept.

"I've done a lot of thinking.  Sissy said some things to me, and it helped me realize Marco's death wasn't really my fault.  That got me thinking about the fire and what you'd said to me.  I wasn't ready to listen then, but I replayed your words and finally heard them.  I don't know had I been there, I could have changed things, no one could know something like that, but I do know I can't let it keep eating me up inside.  I realized it
was
just really bad luck I lost the people I loved, but losing you, that had nothing to do with bad luck.  That was my own damn fault.  And it was something I could actually change.

"I'm ready to take a chance that someone upstairs thinks I've had enough bad luck.  I'm ready to not live in fear, waiting for the next bad thing to happen.  Ready to live life one day at a time and enjoy each day as they come.  And I'd really like to enjoy each of those days with you. 

"I love you, Abby.  I know I've said that before then let you down.  I know words are useless without actions to back them up but if you let me, I'd like to prove it to you every damn day for the rest of our lives.  Tell me you'll let me do that."

* * * * *

It was a defining moment.  His future happiness, riding on her response.  He was surprised at how nervous he felt and realized only his little mouse could reduce him to such a level of insecurity. 

Her silence became a living creature in the room, beating at his chest.  Each second that ticked away he could feel his chance for forgiveness lessening.  He couldn't let that happen.  He couldn't lose her.  She was his whole world. 

He knew he'd fucked up.  Knew he didn't deserve a second chance, but he wasn't lying, he would do anything to win her back.  He couldn't live without her.  He'd shown her his heart, now it was time to show her his soul.

Falling to his knees at her feet, still gripping her hands, he looked up at her.  Staring into her beautiful, blue eyes now brimming with tears, his eyes pleaded with her, begged her to see what he couldn't find the words to tell
—
his depth of feelings for her.

He swallowed hard, trying to choke back the overwhelming feelings welling from his chest.  His voice was rough, the gravelly tone thick with emotion as he spoke.  "I've never gotten on my knees for anyone, but for you, Abby, I would do it a million times.  My body longs for you.  My heart beats for you.  My soul lives for you.  You're the light to my dark, without you I am blind, but with you I see."

He placed a gentle kiss on each of her knuckles before resting his forehead on her knees.  He spoke to the floor, not wanting her to see the vulnerability he couldn't hide as he asked his question one more time.  "Please give me one more chance to prove I will always put you first and will do anything in my power to never fail you again."  Unable to not look at her a second longer, he raised his head and whispered, "Please say you'll let me do that."  

She didn't make him wait this time.  "Yeah, I can let you do that."  Her voice was just as whisper-soft as tears fell down her cheeks.

Cole exhaled the breath he'd been holding, feeling a great weight lift from his chest.  "Thank fuck," he sighed in relief.

"You are wrong about one thing, though." 

"Yeah, what's that?"  He was so fucking happy right at that moment, he would gladly be wrong about anything she wanted. 

"You're better with words than you think.  They were perfect.  I love you too, very much."

He cupped her face, bringing his lips so close to hers, they almost touched before asking,  "Can I move on to the showing part of my promise now?" 

"Yes please."  She breathed a sigh, and he closed his eyes, savoring the warmth of her breath as it drifted across his lips. 

He captured her lips like a man starved.  Lying in bed, alone in the dark, Abby's scent surrounding him, with only his memories of her soft, yielding lips, smooth skin, and perfect tits had been a poor substitute for the real thing.  Now, having her back in his arms, he became ravenous, his need all consuming.  He needed to mark her as his, reclaim her, so her body knew exactly who it belonged to.

He had them both stripped in a matter of minutes, his sense of urgency overriding his usual finesse as teeth clacked, noses bumped, and arms and legs tangled in the mad dash to feel her warm heat envelop his cock.  All his senses were focused on them.  The only thing he heard was the pounding of his heart, their intermingled harsh breaths, and the loud chanting of MINE MINE MINE, thundering through his head.  The only thing he smelled was the sweet fragrance of her hair, the unique scent of her skin, and the musky, female scent of her need.  And the only thing he tasted was their desperate hunger as tongues clashed and mated, seeking a closeness only the other could sate.

Pushing on her inner thighs, he spread her legs wide before slamming into her heat with one hard thrust, causing them to lose their breath, hers with a whoosh, and his with a hiss.  He paused for a moment savoring the feeling.  "Fuck, baby, I missed your pussy."

The bite of her nails, digging into his back spurred him to action.  His eyes were drawn and held by her bouncing tits as he repeatedly drove into her with a powerful force.  Fucking perfect.  Nothing ever felt so good.

"Faster, please, faster.  I'm almost there." 

With a surge of adrenaline, he picked up his pace.  He clamped his hands below the back of her knees, pushing her legs up and spreading them wide while grinding himself into her clit with each upward thrust. 

He felt her pussy clench, tiny spasms fluttering against his cock.  His name fell from her lips in a dragged out moan, and he lost it, exploding in a powerful orgasm that had him shouting her name.

"I've got something for you out in the truck.  A present, of sorts, in case sweet-talking you didn't work."  He trailed a finger around her nipple, watching it pucker.  She moaned, arching into his touch and it was the sexiest fucking sound he'd ever heard.