Freight Trained (28 page)

"You know I was never one to baby you, Abigail.  I'm a true believer in tough love."

Abby snorted.  She didn't know why she bothered arguing.  Her mother would get her way in the end, she always did.  Even her hardheaded father gave in to her demands just to stop her nagging.  "Fine.  Let's go"  She stood her eyes flashing to the magazine on the coffee table.  Guess the adage wasn't true.  She quickly tucked the phone in her back pocket, pretending she hadn't checked the time before she did so.  Forty-six hours and two minutes.

She started for her front door intent on getting pie eating done so she could come back home and wallow some more in private.  God, she was pathetic.

"You going to wear that?"

Abby looked down at her faded, gray sweatshirt and old, comfortable jeans that had a large hole in the knee.  Her clothing should have been too warm for a summer day in September, but she'd been cold since she'd come home from the hospital.  A chill so deep in her bones that no amount of clothing could seem to abate.  "Either take me as I am or don't take me at all."  She drew the line at "gussying up" just to go into town.

Her mom's lips compressed into a flat line before she muttered, "Very well."

Abby knew better than to show a smile, but she smiled on the inside.  Winning a victory against her mother felt great.

Her mom decided they should walk to town, declaring the fresh air and exercise would do them all good.  In her current state, Abby wasn't sure she had the energy to walk all the way to the diner though it was only a little over a mile from her house.  But it was even more exhausting arguing with her mother, and she
knew
she didn't have enough energy for more of that.  So picking the lesser of the two evils, looked like she was walking to the diner.

Now that she was out in it, Abby had to admit, it really was a beautiful day.  The penetrating heat of the sun felt good soaking into her skin, and the fresh air did seem to liven her spirits a little. 

Spirits that took a massive nosedive when she entered the diner. 

Cole sat at his usual corner booth but thankfully had his back to the door and didn't turn in his seat when the bell jingled upon their arrival.  She didn't have as much luck with Sissy and Becky, who sat opposite him and spied her before she could take three steps in.  She was surprised at the quick jab of jealousy she felt, seeing Sissy and Cole together.  Not so much because she thought anything was going on between them, but more because Sissy had something she so desperately wanted, Cole's time and attention.

She locked eyes with Sissy, silently begging her not to do or say anything that would alert Cole to her presence.  She must have read the "Silent Eye Lingo" handbook because she turned her gaze back to Cole and ignored her completely. 

Preteen Becky obviously had some reading to catch up on because she smiled while frantically waving her hand.  Then to add insult to injury, shouted, "Hey, Abby."

Becky's shout drew all eyes.  Cole's penetrating green gaze to her, and her parents' to them. 

"Are those friends of yours, dear?  Let's go say hello, you can introduce us."

Abby frantically clutched at her mom's arm.  "They look busy.  Let's go find a table."

"Nonsense, don't be silly."  She went to take a step, but Abby pulled harder at her arm.  "Abigail, what is your problem?"  She tugged her arm, pulling it from Abby's grasp.  "I promise not to embarrass you."  Spinning on her heel, she marched off.  Abby, slowly shuffling her feet, followed in her wake.

An awkward silence descended on the table at their arrival.   Abby refused to meet Cole's eyes again, they were her greatest weakness so instead focused on her sneaker clad feet.  She felt the nudge of a bony elbow gouge her upper arm before her mom stage whispered, "Introduce me to your friends, Abigail."

Seeing no way out of it, she took a baby-step closer to the table.  "Mom, that's Sissy and her daughter, Becky," she said, gesturing in their general direction.  She semi-turned her body and executed another awkward hand gesture at Cole, "And this is Cole Garrison.  He owns the ranch about a mile down the road from me.  Everyone, my mom, Kathrine O'Neal."

After a round of handshaking and pleasantries, Abby's mom turned to Cole.  "You have a lovely family."

Abby promptly choked on her spit, which started a round of uncontrollable coughing that her mother thought to cure by slapping her repeatedly on the back.  That, in turn, only managed to knock out the bit of oxygen she'd been able to breathe in.  When she'd gotten herself under control, she swatted at her mom's arm, taking a step out of her reach. 

She chanced a glance at Cole and was surprised to see a look of concern on his face.  A small wrinkle had formed between his brows, and his lips were tipped down at the corners.

She used her momentary affliction as an excuse to flee to the safety of the bathroom, needing to leave Cole's presence.  The urge to touch him, any part of him, just to make a connection was more than she could bear when she knew she no longer had that right. 

After a check to make sure the bathroom was empty, she let the tears she'd been holding back, fall.  Knowing Cole was just a mile down the road had been hard for her but being in the same room with him, pretending like they never were, was torture.  She only hoped her feelings for him lessened over time or fear of running into him in town would turn her into more a hermit than she'd been back in L.A. 

She looked at herself in the mirror.  She was a fright, and she was slightly embarrassed Cole had seen her in such a condition.  Her hair hadn't seen a brush since she'd last took a shower two days ago when she'd gotten home from the hospital.  The bun, she'd then put it in, was now listing precariously to the right pulling the hair on the left side of her head taut, while leaving a poof of excess hair on the right.  Dark purple smudges, the exact shade of the bruises around her neck, graced the puffy skin under her eyes, attesting to her sleepless nights on the couch.  Her skin was pale, lacking its usual rosy glow, and she now knew why her mother thought she needed a little time in the sunshine.  She wiped at her tears then pinched at her cheeks, hoping to add a little color.

She'd just turned on the faucet, letting the cool water play over her fingers when the bathroom door opened.  She expected it to be her mother and was surprised to see Sissy.  She turned off the water and pulled a paper towel from the dispenser, giving Sissy her back. 

The tap of shoes marked Sissy's progress across the tile floor.  The noise echoed throughout the room until all became quiet save the crinkling of the paper towel as she dried her hands. Abby looked in the mirror to find Sissy standing about a foot behind her.

"Abby."

She liked Sissy, she was sweet and knew she meant well, but Abby wasn't in the mood to listen to anything she had to say about Cole.  She tossed the towel in the trash and turned to tell her as much, but Sissy took hold of her hand before she could speak and with its warmth, surrounding the iciness of Abby's fingers and the kindness she saw in her eyes, the words she'd prepared to speak got lodged in her throat.

As if sensing she wouldn't hold Abby's attention for long, she didn't beat around the bush but cut straight to the chase.  "Please just give him some time to see the error of his ways.  He's a typical man, making stupid decisions and messing things up, but I know he loves you, Abby, and if you just give him a little time to sort through all the baggage he's got floating around in his head, I know he'll come around."

"And what if he doesn't?  What if his stubbornness doesn't allow him to see what the right thing is?  I'm willing to wait for him, forever if I have to, if I knew eventually he would come back to me, but at what point do I finally give up and allow my own heart to heal?  A month, a year, ten years?"

"You know, when Cole called and told me what happened to you and subsequently what he had done, I pulled Becky from school and rushed down here, thinking he would need a friend to talk to.  I figured I'd stay a few days."

Abby was plagued by another surge of jealousy only this time, her crazy brain tried to twist what she knew he felt for Sissy into something more.  Maybe having her in his house, would spark something between them that they'd never felt before.  The thought was as depressing as the idea of being unable to prevent it. 

Pulling her hand from Sissy's grasp, she walked to the sink, resting her butt against it while folding her arms across her chest and looking down at her feet.

"But I've changed my mind.  Think I'll head back home today."

Abby's head whipped up.  "What.  Why?"

"I like the idea of Cole, roaming around that big ol' house of his all by his lonesome with nothing but his own somber thoughts to keep him company.  Might be the kick in the pants he actually needs."

Abby shook her head.  "I don't know, he sounded pretty determined when he ended things, and he could barely look at me out there," she said, with a wave at the bathroom door.

"That's because he's hurting.  Trust me, I've known Cole a long time.  He's never been in love before and doesn't know what to do with that."  Sissy took the few steps that separated them and took Abby's hand again.  "Like I said, just give him a little time to sort his shit."

Abby snorted a small laugh, her lips forming their first smile in days at hearing Sissy swear.  "Okay." 

Sissy gave her hand a squeeze.  "Good."

Abby watched her walk to the bathroom door and open it.  "Oh, and one more thing," she said, looking over her shoulder.  "Cole left, so you don't need to hide in here anymore."

Abby washed her hands one more time before going out to look for her parents.  Feeling a little optimistic after her talk with Sissy, she realized she was hungry for the first time in days and craving a big slice of chocolate cream pie.

Abby huddled on the fluffy cushions of her porch swing shaded protectively from the blazing sun that shone down from a cloudless sky.  Today was not a good day, and she'd come out hoping the sunshine would lift the dark cloud of depression she had hanging over her head. 

She'd found, though she'd been relieved when her parents had left on Wednesday
—
happy to end her mother's constant nagging and her father's stern looks
—
that now, alone with her thoughts, she actually missed their presence.  Lately, she was not a fun person to be around and quite frankly, she was sick of her own company.

She knew she needed to get her life back on track.  She would start back at school on Monday and as it was Friday, there were things to do to get ready, but she couldn't seem to muster the energy to do any of it.  Her heartache was all encompassing, dragging at her body and spirit. 

She hadn't seen Cole since their encounter at the diner, not even a glimpse of his truck driving by, and she wondered what he was doing right now.  Was he missing her as much as she was missing him?  She felt a burst of anger, grateful for the fiery rage that rushed through her veins, reminding her she was still alive.  Pissed he could so easily give up on them.  Pissed he would desert her after the trauma she'd endured.  But no matter the amount of anger she had for Cole, she was pissed at herself that much more, for still wanting him, regardless. 

She wished she could go back in time to that one day
—
the day she'd made her final decision to give in to Cole
—
and change her fate.  She'd tell herself not to get involved, warn herself away so she wouldn't now be mourning the joy she'd found in his embrace.  She remembered debating with herself on that fateful day, wondering if it were better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.  She hadn't known the answer then, but she did now, and her choice would be never to love.  Loving hurt too much.

"Abby?"

She jumped, surprised to find Sheriff Brody at the bottom of the porch steps.  She looked behind him and saw his cruiser parked in front of her driveway.  She gave him a small smile.  "Wow, I didn't even hear you pull up.  I must have really been lost in thought."

"I didn't mean to startle you."  He walked the few steps up to her porch.  "Mind if I sit?"

Abby waved her hand to the vacant spot on the swing. 

He gingerly sat, close to the edge, feet planted firmly on the floor, elbows on his knees.  Taking off his hat, he twirled it between his legs, taking a moment to really look at her before he asked, "How you doing, Abby?"

She knew what he was asking, checking on her sanity after being abducted by a crazy psycho.  In that regard, she was fine.  And she really was.  Abandoned by the love of her life, and having her heart broken left no room for any other emotions.  Cole filled her every thought.  But she couldn't tell that to Sam so instead said, "I'm good.  No nightmares even though the psychologist at the hospital told me they would be normal."  She shrugged, "Maybe I just haven't completely processed everything yet."

And there was a lot to process.  Chad Daniels had been a very unstable man.  After a raid on his house and a thorough background check, authorities discovered, ten years ago, Chad's wife of two years had been abducted and killed by the same kind of monster Chad had become. 

A photo of Chad's late wife, Celine, revealed an uncanny resemblance to both Abby and Rachel proving their abductions hadn't been random but the result of a sadly twisted man trying to recapture the love of his life.  Abby hated to admit it, but she could, in the state of her upset over Cole, understand and even sympathize with Chad.  Not that she could ever condone the taking of innocent lives, but understood the power love could have to twist and warp the brain into thinking what it wanted.  He wasn't evil, just sick, which made her part in his death that much harder to think about, knowing he may have gotten better with some professional help.