Freshman Year (33 page)

She laughs but then agrees. “No doubt.”

“Don't you feel different? Like, in a good way?” I ask.

“Hmm,” she contemplates, “I guess, but mostly I feel stupid. Did you not notice that I wore a pink shirt with blue flip flops today? On a Monday no less? Disappointing.”

So, there we are, reclined with our backpacks propping up our heads and our notebooks open on our faces, shading them from the sun's harsh rays. I'm thinking about Keeta (of course) and how there's only one quarter left of the school year, which means Keeta will graduate and leave me behind. I did finally gather up the nerve to ask Keeta about her post-high-school plans, but she said she didn't want to talk about it and that I should stop trying to distract her while she was writing her name on my stomach in permanent marker. I also noticed a pile of unopened envelopes from colleges stacked up by her stereo and wanted to ask why she was avoiding them, but I knew better. Keeta will only talk about stuff on her terms. It took her four months to tell me why she had to work so much; she basically has to pay the rent and the bills for her apartment ever since her
nana
injured her hip.

Back on the quad, a shadow falls over my notebook-covered face. I know it isn't just a random student or Keeta (she's at a senior class meeting in the gym) or a cloud passing by because the person is hovering over me.

When I peek out from under my notebook and see who it is, I feel mega-guilty and a little embarrassed. It's Mia, the girl from study hall who said I was cute. After she wrote me that crazy note, though, I did such a good job avoiding her that I sort of forgot how I blew her off. “Oh hi, Mia.”

“Hey,” she says and sits down on the grass next to me.

Apparently this isn't going to be a quick visit, so I remove the notebook from my head and sit up. “So, you're out, too?”

She looks at me in a surprised sort of way. “Too? Well, yes, most people know about me.”

“I mean, out of study hall. Did your mom let you off the hook?” I clarify.

“Oh, that. Yeah, my mom could give a crap about my grades, or me. Ms. Morvay's the one making me go, but I talked her down to twice a week. I can be very persuasive.”

Behind me, Kate clears her throat and elbows me in the back.

“This is my friend, Kate. Kate, this is Mia.”

“Mia Thurber.” She leans forward and shakes Kate's hand. “You're a junior, right?”

“All right, Mia. There's no need to flatter her. She has a big enough ego as it is.” But it's already too late.

“I approve,” Kate says to me, then giggles while she packs up her things.

“Where are you going?” I say and telepathically beg her to stay, but she's too busy acting like a junior to notice.

“Gotta find Sarah. See you later, Abbey. Call me!” As she walks off, she tosses aside her long brunette hair and shakes her butt a little more than usual. Oh God, it's going to take a lot of effort to get her back down to earth.

“I didn't mean to interrupt you guys,” Mia says looking at me with her intense green eyes. Her short, spiky hair has grown out, and the ends are now dyed black. She seems so comfortable in her skin and it makes me feel nervous for some reason.

Then there's an awkward silence I need to fill, so I blurt out, “I'm sorry I never got back to you that day. Or, like ever. I'm sort of seeing someone. I should've just told you.” I try to keep eye contact with her, but she's wigging me out a little, so I bow my head to the lawn and start to hand mow the area I'm sitting in. What a weird habit: making little piles of grass. I'm such a freak.

She stretches her legs out in front of her, and I see she's drawn little red hearts around her ankle, which surprises me. She doesn't seem like the heart-doodling type, but then again, I don't know anything about her except that she thinks I'm cute, so obviously she's mental.

“Sort of seeing someone? Is that like being a little pregnant or kinda dead? I don't mean to be rude, but are you seeing someone or not?” She never seems to take her eyes off me when she speaks, and I feel them piercing the top of my head as I pick at the grass.

What am I supposed to say to that? I mean, who does she think she is, questioning my life? If I need a lecture, I'll call Jenn. “Well, okay. I
am
seeing someone, then. Happy?”

“Oh. Well, that makes it much clearer anyway,” she says and smiles confidently. “Well, my offer still stands. I'd like to take you out sometime.”

Man, this girl has some major ovaries. I mean, which part of “I'm seeing someone” doesn't she understand?

She looks away from me briefly when a group of girls starts screaming behind her, so I have a chance to sneak a peek at her. She's wearing three tank tops, each one a different color, cargo shorts, and her usual Doc Marten shoes. And even though she's being completely annoying, I can't help but notice her cute crooked smile, which seems innocent and sweet. Then, after reading her tank top, which has a quote from someone named Ani DiFranco, I wonder if she is more trouble than her smile suggests.

Mia is just about to say something, but I interrupt. “Where'd you get that tank?” I point to her tight black top, which actually looks like I'm pointing to her boobs because that's how smooth I am. “I've never seen anything like it around here.” In high school, I've learned, originality is pretty hard to find.

“I made it in advanced art.”

“Really? It's cool. My mom's an artist.”

Mia reclines next to me and puts her arms behind her head. Maybe she's too comfortable in her skin. “Yeah? Well, it wasn't that hard to do. I can make them in my sleep.”

“I'm sure you can. You're probably good at a lot of things,” I say and am pretty sure I sound a little flirty, which catches me off guard. I look back down at the grass to regroup. Is my life not complicated enough that I have to start flirting with Mia? I need serious psychiatric help.

She's caught off guard, too, I think because then she goes into a long, nervous mini-lesson on the art of screen printing. By the time she's finished, she's back to her old self and is now lying on her stomach.

“Well, I really like that quote.” I nod to her shirt again, but since she's on her stomach, mostly what I'm nodding to is her cleavage.

“Yeah. You probably can relate to it. To doing stuff wrong.”

“How would you know?” I say, but I have a feeling she knows a lot more about my life than I first thought. I've learned that all the girls on campus, gay or not, make it their business to know everyone else's business. I just wish I knew how much they all knew. Does Keeta kiss and tell more than just Tai? I look down again.

“I can make one for you. I still have the screen somewhere in my room.”

I abandon my lawn mowing and give my full attention to Mia again. “Really? That would be cool. But who's Ani DiFranco?”

Mia dramatically drops her head to the ground. “Please tell me you're joking.” Then she grabs my leg, which makes me jump a little. “You mean you've never heard her sing?”

True, my music knowledge is lacking, but I've been trying harder. In fact, I just downloaded the new Tegan and Sara album last week, so Mia should give me a break. “You don't have to be such a snob. Just tell me who she is.”

She props her head up on her open palm. “No. That would be impossible. I'll just make you a tank top
and
a CD. Geez, this relationship is already costing me more than I'd like.”

“Aww, you're already tired of me?”

She smiles. “Never. What color and size top?”

Flirting with Mia is fun, so I continue. “Well, I like the one you're wearing, but I'm not sure if it would look as good on me.” That makes her smile even bigger, which feels kind of cool.

Then after we stare at each other for a little too long, she says, “So, let me make sure I've got this. You are, for sure, seeing someone?”

The thought of saying no does cross my mind. I mean, if Keeta's dating half of Tucson's girls' high school basketball players, why can't I go out once with Mia? But it's just not my style. “Yeah, still seeing someone.”

“Okay,” she says and then starts to dig through my backpack pocket until she finds what she's looking for. “But you should have my number just in case. I'll put it in here for safekeeping.” Her fingers move quickly, and within seconds she's entered her phone number into my cell.

“Thanks,” I say, “is it under Mia or Thurber?”

“Neither,” she says and gets up. After dusting the dead grass off her shorts she stands above me looking like she's trying to decide something. I guess she comes to a conclusion because then she peels off her Ani tank top and tosses it down in my lap. “Here, you can have mine. I have a feeling it'll look even better on you. See you around, Abbey.” She starts walking away but then turns around again to give me some last minute advice. “Hey, Abbey.”

“What's up?” Yeah, that's right. I'm cool. Inside, though, I'm repeating a Spanish phrase that Garrett taught me today:
Esa mujer es toda una mujersota
. Translation:
She's a totally hot woman.

“You watch out for those seniors. They're nothing but trouble.”

I roll my eyes. “I'll consider myself warned. Thanks for the tank top.”

She walks away and I watch her disappear into the hallway. I hold up my gift to admire it and finally come to my own conclusion. Flirting with Mia is fun and I think I might like to try it again. I reach for my cell to find her number. If it's not under Mia or Thurber, then what? Does she have a nickname, too? I click through the contacts and I finally find the number. She added it under Future Girlfriend.

*

I'm in my room tonight staring at the tank top Mia gave me and thinking about what happened today. As much as I denied it when I talked to Kate tonight, I actually did like talking and flirting with Mia. She's funny, cute, and, as an added bonus, not a senior.

Then Keeta knocks on my window like a nocturnal woodpecker, making me jump out of my skin. Before I open the blinds, I toss Mia's tank top in my closet because I don't feel like explaining it.

“What are you doing here? You gave me a heart attack, Keeta,” I whisper out to her. It's almost eleven and I'm just finishing up my biology homework and a long chat session with Garrett.

“
Te extra
ñ
o, Amara
. Is it such a crime to miss you?
Dame un beso
,” she says and leans in to kiss me through the screen.

“No, you can miss me,” I say, and then I kiss her.

“Are you alone?”

“Actually, I'm in the middle of a very important strip poker game. Not. Of course I'm alone, baby. Are you?” I look beyond her and into the moonlit night.

“So, can I come in? Or are you going to leave me out here with the crickets and snakes?”

I pretend to ponder for a minute but finally open my window all the way and take off the screen. “I guess you can come in, but I would have worn something without farm animals on it if I had known you were coming. I totally wasn't expecting to see you tonight.” I don't mean to sound ungrateful for her visit, but I kind of like to be prepared for these things.

“Amara, you always look good, girl.” She hops up on the sill with ease, and I can't help but wonder how many windows she's jumped through in her lifetime, or in the past week.

I walk over to my door and lock it.

Keeta pulls an envelope from her back pocket after she kisses me again. “I got you something.”

“What's the occasion?” I ask, as I take the envelope and sit on the edge of my bed. Inside are two concert tickets and a card that reads,
Just because you rock my world.
“Wow, thanks. How cool.” The tickets are for an all-ages gig at Hanflings with 36-C headlining the show. I downloaded their album last month and have been playing it every time Keeta's come over. I didn't think she was paying attention, but I guess she was.

“So, there's one ticket for you and one for whoever you want to take. I mean, I know your mom won't let you go with a guy, but you can choose whichever girl you want to take with you.”

I put the tickets back in the envelope and then hide them out of habit in my bedside drawer. “Well, I can think of one girl I'd want to take.”

“I bet,” she says and runs her finger across the spines of my books.

I squint at her. Something's off. Is she drunk or something? “What's wrong with you?” I finally ask. “You're acting weird.
Estás bien
?”

“I'm fine. I was just saying if there's someone else you want to take, it's cool.”

“You mean like Kate? Um, I don't think she'd be into seeing an all-girl rock band named after a bra size. Trust me. And I can only imagine what the crowd would be like: way too much girl-on-girl love for my little BFF.”

Keeta doesn't laugh even though I think I'm funny. Instead, she kicks off her shoes, crawls past me, and makes herself comfortable under the covers.

“Well, I guess you're planning on staying a while.” I smile and lie down next to her. “So what did I do to deserve this surprise?”

“I told you. I missed you.” She turns off the light, but I can still see her face from the glow of my computer. “Why does that surprise you?” Then she pulls me close and gives me a long kiss. Her touch sends me spinning like a CD and I soon lose track of up and down and yesterday and today. The only thing on my mind when we're like this is how, with just the soft touch of her hands or lips, she can take me to a place of crazy passion I didn't think was possible.

Then she pulls away and stares down at me with such a serious look that I get a little scared.

“Amara…” she whispers.

“Yes, Keeta?” I say, but in my head I'm thinking,
Don't break my heart yet. Please, just keep me a little longer.