Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe (7 page)

"Blue gums?"

"Oh yes, honey, and you cain't get any blacker than that! And then next, here comes Willie Boy, as light as she was, with green eyes. Of course, his real name was Wonderful Counselor, named right out of the Bible, but we called him Willie Boy."

"Wonderful Counselor? I don't remember that. Are you sure that's from the Bible?"

"Oh yes . . . it's in there. Onzell showed us the very quote: 'And he shall be called wonderful counselor." Onzell was a very religious person. She always said if anything was starting to get her down, all she had to do was to think of her sweet Jesus, and her spirit would rise, just like those buttermilk biscuits she baked. And then came Naughty Bird, as black as her daddy, with that funny nappy hair, but she didn't have blue gums . . ."

"Don't tell me
that
name came out of the Bible!" Mrs. Threadgoode laughed. "Oh, Lord no, honey. Sipsey used to say that she looked like a skinny little bird, and when she was little she would always run in the kitchen and steal a couple of those buttermilk biscuits her mother was making and run under the cafe and eat them. So Sipsey started calling her

Naughty Bird. Come to think of it, she did look like a little blackbird. . . .But, there they were, two black ones and two light ones, in the same family.          

"It’s funny, now that I think about it, there aren’t any colored people here at Rose Terrace at all, except the ones that clean up and some of the nurses . . . and one of them is just as smart she's a full-blown registered nurse. Geneene's her name, a cute and sassy little thing, and talks as smart and big as you please. She reminds me a bit of Sipsey, independent-like.

"Old Sipsey lived at home by herself until the day she died. That's where I want to be when I go, in my own house. I don't ever want to go back into the hospital When you get to be my age, every time you go in, you wonder if you're ever gonna get back out. I don't think hospitals are safe, anyway.

“My neighbor Mrs. Hartman said she had a cousin in the hospital over in Atlanta that told her that a patient there went out of his room to get a breath of fresh air, and they didn't find him until six months later, locked out on the sixth-floor roof.  Said by the time they found him, there wasn't anything left bot a skeleton in a hospital gown. Mr. Dunaway told me that when he was in the hospital, they stole his false teeth right out of the glass when he was being operated on. Now, what kind of a person would steal an old man's teeth?"

"I don't know," Evelyn said.

“Well, I don't know either."

JUNE 2, 1917

When Sipsey handed Onzell the twin boys she had just given birth to, she couldn't believe her eyes. The oldest son, whom she named Jasper, was the color of a creamy cup of coffee, and the other one, named Artis, was black as coal.

Later, when Big George saw them, he about laughed his head off.

Sipsey was looking inside Artis's mouth. "Lookie here, George, dis baby done got blue gums," and she shook her head in dismay. "God help us."

But Big George, who was not superstitious, was still laughing. . .

Ten years later, he didn't think it was so funny. He had just whipped Artis within an inch of his life for stabbing his brother Jasper with a penknife. Artis had stabbed him five in the arm before an older boy had pulled him off and thrown him across the yard.

Jasper had gotten up and had run down to the cafe, holding his bleeding arm and calling for his momma. Big George was out in the back, barbecuing, and saw Jasper first and carried him down to the doctor's house.

Dr. Hadley cleaned him up and bandaged him, and Jasper told the doctor that his brother had been the one who had done it. Big George was humiliated.

That night, both boys were in pain and couldn't sleep. They were lying in bed, looking out the window at the full moon and listening to the night sounds of frogs and crickets.

Artis turned to his brother, who looked almost white in the moonlight.  "I knowed I shouldn'ta done it . . . but it felt so good, I jes couldn't stop.”

JULY 1, 1935

Bible Group Meets

The Whistle Stop Baptist Church Ladies' Bible Study Group met Wednesday morning, last week, at the home of Mrs. Vesta Adcock and discussed ways to study the Bible and make it easier to understand. "Noah and the Ark," was the topic, and "Why Did Noah Let Two Snakes on the Boat When He Had a Chance to Get Rid of Them Once and for All?" If anyone has an explanation, they are asked to please call Vesta.

Saturday, Ruth and Idgie had a birthday party for their little boy. All the guests enjoyed pinning the tail on the donkey and eating cake and ice cream, and they all got glass locomotives with little candy pellets inside.

Idgie says they are going to the picture show again Friday night, if anyone wants to go.

Speaking of shows, the other night when I came in from the post office, my other half was in such a hurry to get over to Birmingham and get to the picture show before the prices changed that he grabbed his coat and ran out the door with me. And then, when we got there, all he did was complain about his back hurting him so bad all through the movie. When we got home, he found out he had been in such a rush he had forgotten to take the coat hanger out of his coat. I told him, the next time we'd pay the extra money for the ticket, because he ruined the picture for me, jerking around in his seat.

By the way, does anybody out there want to buy a slightly used husband, cheap?

Just kidding, Wilbur.

. . . Dot Weems . . .

FEBRUARY 2, 1986

When Evelyn walked in, her friend said, "Oh Evelyn, I wish you had been here ten minutes earlier. You just missed seeing my neighbor Mrs. Hartman. She came out and brought me this." She showed Evelyn a tiny mother-in-law tongue plant in a small ceramic white cocker-spaniel pot.

"And she brought Mrs. Otis the prettiest spider lily. I wanted you to meet her so bad, you would just love her. Her daughter's the one that's been watering my geraniums for me. I told her all about you . . .”

Evelyn said that she was sorry she'd missed her, and gave Mrs. Threadgoode the pink cupcake she had gotten over at Waites Bakery earlier this morning.

Mrs. Threadgoode thanked her kindly and sat there eating and admiring her planter.

"I love a cocker spaniel, don't you? There's nothing in the world happier to see you than a cocker spaniel. Ruth's and Idgie's little boy used to have one, and every time he'd see you, he'd zigzag and bang his tail all over the place like you'd been gone for years, even if you had just been to the corner and back. Now, a kitty will act like they don't care a thing in the world about you.  Some people are like that, you know . . . run from you, won’t let you love them.  Idgie used to be like that.”

Evelyn was surprised. “Really?” She said and bit into her cupcake.

"Oh yes, honey.  When she was in high school, she gave everybody fits. Most of the time she wouldn't even go to school, and when she did, she would only wear that ratty old pair of overalls that had belonged to Buddy. But half of the time she would be off in the woods with Julian and his friends, hunting and fishing. But you know, everybody liked her. Boys and girls, colored and white alike, everybody wanted to be around Idgie.  She had that big Threadgoode smile, and when she wanted to, oh, she could make you laugh! Like I said, she had Buddy's charm. . .

"But there was something about Idgie that was like a wild animal. She wouldn't let anybody get too close to her. When she thought that somebody liked her too much, she'd just take off in the woods. She broke hearts right and left. Sipsey said she was like that because Momma had eaten wild game when she was pregnant with Idgie, and that's what caused her to act like a heathen!

"But when Ruth came to live with us, you never saw a change in anybody so fast in all your life.

"Ruth was from Valdosta, Georgia, and she had come over to be in charge of all the BYO activities at Momma's church that summer. She couldn't have been more than twenty-one or twenty-two years old. She had light auburn hair and brown eyes with long lashes, and was so sweet and soft-spoken that people just fell in love with her on first sight. You just couldn't help yourself, she was just one of those sweet-to-the-bone girls, and the more you knew her, the prettier she got.

"She'd never been away from home before, and at first she was shy with everybody and a little afraid. Of course, she didn't have any brothers or sisters. Her mother and daddy had been real old when they had her. Her daddy had been a preacher, over there in Georgia, and I think she was raised real strict-like.

"But as soon as they saw her, all the boys in town, who never went to church, started going every Sunday. I don't think she had any idea how pretty she was. She was kind to everybody, and ol' Idgie was just fascinated with her . . . ldgie must have been around fifteen or sixteen at the time.

"The first week Ruth was there, Idgie just hung around in the chinaberry tree, staring at her whenever she went in or out of the house. Then, pretty soon she took to showing off; hanging upside down, throwing the football in the yard, and coming home with a huge string of fish over her shoulder at the same time that Ruth would be coming across the street from church.

"Julian said she hadn't been fishing at all and had bought those fish off some colored boys down at the river. He made the mistake of saying that in front of Ruth, and it cost him a good pair of his shoes that Idgie filled with cow manure that night.

"Then, one day, Momma said to Ruth, 'Will you please go and see if you can get my youngest child to sit down like a human being and have her supper?”

"Ruth went out and asked Idgie, who was in the tree reading her
True Detective
magazine at the time, if she wouldn't please come and have supper at the table tonight. Idgie didn't look at her, but said she'd think about it. We'd been seated and had already finished saying grace when Idgie came in the house and went upstairs. We could hear her upstairs in the bathroom running water, and in about five minutes, Idgie, who almost never ate with us, started down the stairs.

"Momma looked at us and whispered, 'Now, children, your sister has a crush, and I don't want one person to laugh at her. Is that understood?'

"We said we wouldn't, and in comes Idgie, with her face all scrubbed and she had her hair all slicked down with some old grease that she'd found up there in the medicine cabinet. We tried not to laugh, but she was a sight to see. All Ruth asked her was if she cared for some more string beans, and she blushed so bad that her ears turned as red as a tomato— Patsy Ruth started it first, just a snicker, then Mildred. And like I say, I always was a tagalong, so I started and then Julian, who couldn't control himself a minute longer, spit his mashed potatoes all over poor Essie Rue, who was sitting across from him.

“It was terrible to have that happen, but it was just one of those things.  Momma said, ‘You may be excused, children,’ and all of us ran in the parlor and fell on the floor and about killed ourselves laughing. Patsy Ruth peed her pants. But the really funny thing is Idgie was struck so dumb at sitting next to Ruth that she never even knew what we’d been laughing at, because when she passed by the parlor, she looked in and said, That's a fine way to act when we have company.' And of course, we all just collapsed again . . .

"Pretty soon after that, Idgie started acting like a tame puppy. I think Ruth was lonesome, herself, that summer . . . ldgie could make her laugh, and, oh, Idgie would do anything to entertain her. Momma said it was the only time in Idgie's life that she could get her to do anything she wanted—all she had to do was to ask Ruth to get her to do it. Momma said Idgie would have jumped off a mountain backwards if Ruth had asked her to. And I believe that! It was the first time since Buddy died that she even went to church.

"Everywhere Ruth was, that's where Idgie would be. It was a mutual thing. They just took to each other, and you could hear them, sittin' on the swing on the porch, gigglin' all night.  Even Sipsey razzed her. She'd see Idgie by herself and say, ‘That ol’ love bug done bit Idgie.'

"We had a fine time that summer. Ruth, who tended to be a little reserved, at first learned to cut up and play games. And pretty soon when Essie Rue would play the piano, she joined in the singing just like the rest of us.

"We were all happy, but Momma said to me one afternoon that she dreaded what was going to happen when the summer ended and Ruth went back home."

JULY l8, 1924

Ruth had been in Whistle Stop for about two months, and this Saturday morning, someone knocked at her bedroom window at 6 A.M. Ruth opened her eyes and saw Idgie sitting in the chinaberry tree and motioning for her to open the window.

Ruth got up, half asleep. "What are you up so early for?"

"You promised we could go on a picnic today."

"I know, but does it have to be this early? It's Saturday."

"Please. You promised you would. If you don't come right now, I’ll jump off the roof and kill myself. Then what would you do?"

Ruth laughed. "Well, what about Patsy Ruth and Mildred and Essie Rue, aren't they going to come with us?"

"No."

"Don't you think we should ask them?"

"No. Please, I want you to myself. Please. I want to show you something."

"Idgie, I don't want to hurt their feelings.”

"Oh, you won't hurt their feelings. They don't want to come anyhow. I asked them already, and they want to stay home in case their old stupid boyfriends come by."

"Are you sure?”

"Sure I'm sure," she lied.

"What about Ninny and Julian?"

"They said they've got things to do today. Come on, Ruth, Sipsey’s already made us a lunch, just for the two of us. If you don't come, I’ll jump and then you'll have my death on your hands. I’ll be dead in my grave and you'll wish you'd have come to just one little picnic."

"Well, all right. Let me get dressed, at least."

"Hurry up! Don't get all dressed up, just come on out—I’ll meet you in the car."