Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing (26 page)

BOOK: Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing
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Love and courage, man—the two most important things. I don't move forward with fear anymore—I move forward with curiosity. I have an incredible support group around me, and they save me every day, because I have known hell. Hell has definable features, and I want no part of it. But I have the courage to face it, at least.

Who am I going to be? Whoever it is I will take it on as a man who has finally acquired the taste for life. I fought that taste, man, I fought it hard. But in the end admitting defeat was winning. Addiction, the big terrible thing, is far too powerful for anyone to defeat alone. But together, one day at a time, we can beat it down.

The one thing I got right was that I never gave up, I never raised my hands and said, “That's enough, I can't take it anymore, you win.” And because of that, I stand tall now, ready for whatever comes next.

Someday you, too, might be called upon to do something important, so be ready for it.

And when whatever happens, just think,
What would Batman do?
and do that.

Me at thirty-eight years of age

Baby feeding baby

Even then I knew: always lead with a drink

A little boy and his dad. I have always loved this picture, see? There were plenty of good things, too!

I have always been great with kids. Man, I wish I had one of my own.

My childhood in a nutshell

Here I am, hopefully catching something

Here I am with my wonderful sister Maria, who grew up to be a mother of two and a psychiatrist. I assume she has ditched the sweater.

My youngest sister, Madeline, my brother Will, and me, hiding my teeth

These kids grew up and saved my life

My devilishly handsome father and a very confused boy wondering why my father was marrying another woman. I was ten. Cool bowl haircut I was sporting.

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