Frolic of His Own (80 page)

—That's all we do around here Christina! We sit around and have a cup of tea and catch our breath, there's nothing you can do about Harry anymore is there? there's nothing Oscar can do about this lousy reward he got for this play is there? there's nothing I can do about Daddy cutting me off like some orphan till he gets to the other side is there? or get my breasts fixed up till I get some money to pay for it is there? I mean it's like some crazy Halloween where we sit around here waiting for dark surrounded by these ghosts waiting for supper turning into this bunch of mummies waiting for the evening news with all these things we can't do anything about so that's why you have to do something about something you can do something about like the laundry, Oscar? You want to get a wastebasket for all that crap over there you're throwing away and bring in a broom to sweep up around here?

—Yes but wait Lily, I mean there's something you certainly can do something about immediately and get yourself into a proper hospital for this business about your implants, I mean my God to let a thing like money stop you? I can write a check right now can't I?

—That's not what I meant Christina. I mean I never meant for you to
offer to pay for it, it was my own dumb fault wasn't it? letting them do that to me? just so Al could have a good time with . . .

—Don't be ridiculous. I mean you can't wait to sue Doctor Kissinger while this gel's running around plugging up every crack and cranny in your body God knows what would happen.

—They said this one lady lost her hair and her memory and she's so worn out she can hardly do anything.

—Well my God we can't have you going around the house like that can we, now let's have some tea while Oscar makes his call before it gets dark and we can think about supper.

Frozen fishcakes? and freeze dried, what were they,
just add contents of package to 1 cup of cold water bringing to a full boil while stirring gently, turn heat down and simmer for 2 minutes. For a thicker sauce add less water, for a thinner sauce add more water, serve piping hot with your favorite fish, meat or other choice. For a delicious variation sprinkle with grated Parmesan cheese and season to taste
following hard upon the visual banquet of Sikhs killing Hindus, Hindus killing Muslims, Druses killing Maronites, Jews killing Arabs, Arabs killing Christians and for a delicious variation Christians killing each other seasoned to taste and served piping hot by the snappy dresser on the evening news but, frozen fishcakes? —Because they were cheap, she said up scraping plates, and later, in the pall fallen over the room, the dark casements and the cold hearth, the only movement a fugitive couple kissing on the silent screen and the unascribed bleat of digestive juices —you know what I never understand here? where all this time we're stuck together in this house, that I don't ever see you read? I mean with all those books in there in the library and these ideas and people from books you're always talking about where all anybody reads around here is the paper and bills and the crosswords and this junk mail and the dumb television but I mean books? reading a book?

—Yes we, we used to, Lily we used to, we used to do a lot of things. We used to play the piano up there, four hand pieces for the piano, that little Mozart sonata, the sonata in D? her voice taking up with an almost desperate eagerness —within three bars he'd flatted the G, Oscar? It was so long ago.

—No, no every time we did it you failed to play the A on time Christina, that's what I remember. We'd have to start again because you'd fail to play the A on time.

—Well my God it happened when we changed places too didn't it? because you couldn't turn the page fast enough to give us the next phrase?

—Because you always wanted to play the upper part, because you were supposed to be the stronger pianist so you'd always take the upper part
because you said it was harder, it's just more strident that's all Christina. You took it because it dominates, the upper part always dominates that's why you took it.

—It was the pedals Oscar, because the lower part takes the foot pedals and back when we were first learning you always wanted . . .

—It wasn't like that, Christina. That wasn't it at all.

—I've never seen that, I wish I could see you playing it.

—Hear us Lily, hear us but with the music room locked off like all the rest of them to save heat and God only knows when it was tuned last, the sounding board's probably warped with all the dampness out here and, and it was all so long ago. When we read everything then didn't we, we even read Shakespeare aloud sometimes but Oscar would never go to a performance would you Oscar, he'd only read it. They showed Henry the Fifth on television not long ago and he turned it off sputtering after five minutes.

—Because it's on the page! he suddenly erupted, —it's always been that way, the silent beautiful words coming off the page together to stop and listen to them to, to savour them without some vain fool in a costume prancing around up there just getting in their way, any of them! Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more God it sends a chill down your spine doesn't it? Christina? but she'd gone silent, her still hands arched up to her face leaving only her cold eyes staring somewhere back, staring within, and she shivered.

A little touch of Harry in the night.

When they came out next morning she was gone: the morning's paper, tea cold in a cup and even some mail there on the kitchen table, a pale sun well up in the sky and now up the hall the clatter of doors.

—Oscar? There's this little man in a black suit out here to see you.

—No wait! don't . . .

—Frank Gribble, Ace Worldwide Fidelity, may I come in? You remember me Mister Crease? We got your message yes, thank you for calling. How are we feeling. May I sit down? and he'd done so, flattening a plastic portfolio on his lap, —I hope your pain is all a thing of the past? and he had out a yellow pad, —now. Let's not take too much of your valuable time Mister Crease. Just a paper or two here for you to sign and we can put this whole episode behind us, a lot of water has gone under the bridge but the mills of the gods, as they say? Now. Will you bring me up to date?

—I think the last thing I, I've got a letter here somewhere from my lawyer who . . .

—A Mister Preswig yes, I have a communication from him here but I believe he's no longer in the picture? digging into the portfolio and bringing
forth papers —we understand that he has found employment elsewhere and in the interests of expediency I thought if I simply dropped in on you we could work things out together without all the bother and expense of further legal proceedings which seem calculated to merely muddy the waters as they say and to save you the costly annoyance of going to trial?

—Well yes by all means, I . . .

—By all means yes, yes we are in agreement then aren't we, after all our friendship goes all the way back to my hospital visit before these lawyers came between us simply to line their own pockets as they say? or as we say I should say, which is to say you could hardly be blamed for disclaiming the generous No Fault provision of your coverage which had come into being for the protection of persons like yourself over the vigorous opposition of the powerful lobby of trial lawyers like the one who took your case originally.

—Well he ought to be shot yes, he . . .

—I'm afraid that would only introduce new complications not included under your coverage, now to return to the matter at hand. When he filed to have you disclaim your No Fault coverage we had no recourse but to claim immunity as insurers of the car's owner and you are now seeking to recover under your coverage as the accident victim?

—More or less, yes.

—Yes. This motion filed on your behalf seeks to ensure that the controversy will take place in an adversary context since the court would lack jurisdiction to render judgment without adversary parties appearing before it whether, I have a few notes here from our legal department may I refer to them? bringing forth a sheaf of papers, licking a thumb —whether natural or artificial persons yes, you as plaintiff claiming bodily injuries being recognized as a natural person.

—Well what else would . . .

—Of course yes, as a party named in the record they've apparently listed them here under several categories, necessary parties, formal parties, indispensable parties, proper parties, indispensable parties being of course necessary parties who must take part in an action either as defendants or plaintiffs and indispensable parties those who must be included in an action in order for it to proceed, both of them signifying parties who should be joined in a proceeding though there has been some disagreement over the degree of such obligation expressed by the word should.

—Mister Gribble, I think . . .

—I agree yes, words always cause such problems don't they when it becomes less a matter of their actual meaning than their interpretation,
take the word should here, I use it quite frequently myself without thinking twice about the . . .

—Mister Gribble listen! I'm quite busy, can't we cut through all this talk about parties and come to the point?

—But that's why I've come all the way out here to see you Mister Crease, I had a terrible time finding the place but we want to be certain of protecting your legal rights before you sign anything in your pursuit of justice, I believe you used that phrase yourself the last time we . . .

—Before signing what.

—Yes we'll come to that, but first may we clear up this matter of one person as both plaintiff and defendant in the same action? licking his thumb again, flurrying pages —suing in one capacity and defending in the other which creates certain problems, if you follow me.

—But I'm the victim, you just said that yourself didn't you? that I'm suing as the victim?

—Of course, yes, which means you need to find the defendant guilty of negligence as the proximate cause of your injuries, but that is to say even once negligence is established, since the scope of the defendant's liability can be no greater than the duty of care he owes to the plaintiff, he has not breached his duty if he has no duty and therefore he has no liability, and so in this case I suppose you would take the position that you owe a duty of care to yourself?

—Well obviously, that's what the whole . . .

—Do you happen to serve in the capacity of a public officer anywhere Mister Crease? licking his thumb again, turning pages.

—As what? Good God no, why.

—Because apparently the rule is confined to natural persons and as an individual you could join in a suit against yourself as a public officer, because this is where things get somewhat complicated. As they say here, whether an action is in contract or in tort, you see what I mean, the rule that one person cannot take the position of both plaintiff and defendant will not apply so long as the case does not add up to one party against himself. To put it in plain language you might almost say that this is a suit between who you are and who you think you are, the question being which one is the plaintiff and which one is the defen . . .

—Well I, here where are my glasses, give me that! and he seized the fluttering pages. —Do you know Montaigne?

—I'm afraid not no, is he someone you . . .

—Where he says it's a hard task to be always the same man? flipping a page over —there is as much difference between us and ourselves as there is between us and other people, they're practically quoting Montaigne right here aren't they? Since the presumption is in favour of the
judgment, even though the plaintiff and defendant bear the same name it is presumed they are different persons?

—I see your point Mister Crease, but bringing in your friend as a third party can only complicate things further unless, of course, he might join the suit as a formal party in establishing negligence as the proximate cause of your . . .

—Of whose negligence, that's what this is all about isn't it? I'm the victim aren't I?

—Yes yes of course, but I think you'll see something in there about contributory negligence that needs clearing up? When the plaintiff's injuries are equally likely to have been caused by his own improper conduct and standing in front of the vehicle Mister Crease, by standing directly in front of the vehicle with the hood raised restricting your vision when you tampered with the wiring in order to start it might be considered improp . . .

—No wait, wait a minute, I don't like the word tampered there Mister Gribble. I was simply wait here it is, contributory negligence is never a defense to strict liability but often the opposite is held? They'll have it both ways won't they, if it can be shown that the user was proceeding against a known unreasonable danger I was simply trying to start the damn car wasn't I? or this? in making no use of the product except to be injured by it do you think I'm mad?

—I think no, no I don't think we should take that course Mister Crease I don't think it's included in your coverage and . . .

—All right listen, here it is listen, that a damage-feasant motor vehicle may be joined as a party in an action against the driver of the vehicle.

—But I understand there was no driver?

—I was the driver I simply wasn't driving, how could I drive it without starting it.

—I see your point yes but, yes we probably should have a lawyer here to help us with these finer distinct . . .

—We don't need one, you just said that yourself didn't you? It's all here look, even the citation Brown v. Quinn 220 S.C. 426, 68 SE.2d 326 and the damage-feasant motor vehicle, it's standing right outside there didn't you see it?

—I did yes, yes but suing the car would not be exactly the . . .

—We're not suing the car! We're joining the damn thing as a party in the action a necessary indispensable formal proper artificial person do you want some coffee or something? tea? Lily, are you out there?