Frontier: Book One - The Space Cadets (11 page)

She surprised even herself at the
warmth of her feelings, and knowing that she really meant
them.

Wherever you are, and whomever you
are, there are people who will, for whatever reason, try to put you
down and make life difficult for you. There are many ways to deal
with people like this, but there’s only one truth: You never start
the fight, but you always finish it.

No matter the cost…

It had been a long
and
difficult morning, and Aisha was tired and hungry as she entered
the mess hall. The doorway was partially blocked with other
enrollee students.

Enrollee
was the official
name to students like herself who had come through open enrollment,
but the other students had far less kind words to describe them.
Everything from
rabble
to
scum
to
meteors
had
been muttered near her. The first two were obvious, the third she
had no idea.

“
When they throw us out the
airlock, we
’
ll burn up in the atmosphere
as meteors,” Soo-Kyung had explained one night, seemingly
unbothered by the implicit threat.

“
Shouldn
’
t we talk to the authorities,” Aisha had asked. “They
can
’
t do that, can they?”

Soo-Kyung shook her head. “This
isn
’
t a public school. It
’
s an academy, a military academy. If you do that, the
teachers will think you
’
re soft. And
worse
, the other kids will think you
’
re soft
and
a snitch. We
’
ll have to deal with this ourselves.”

“
How?”

“
There
’
s
only one way,” she replied. “
Earn
their respect. Sooner or
later they
’
ll have to depend on us, and
they know it. The sooner we make them respect us, the sooner all
this ends.”

Those words echoed in
Aisha
’
s mind as she worked her way through
the crowd into the mess hall. Then she saw the issue. The older
kids had spread themselves across all the tables, leaving no room
for Aisha
’
s peers.

The new kids looked at each other,
unsure of what to do. As Aisha entered, they looked to her too.
Soo-Kyung had gone straight back to the apartment to get some
sleep.

Earn their respect,
she had
said.
Stand up to a bully and smack him in the mouth,
she
had always learned. The closest table had only two students -- the
English boy she had recognized from the launch, and a short Asian
girl who also bore a British flag. The name
Lim
was
embroidered beneath.

Without a word, Aisha grabbed her
food and sat at the table.

“
Space is taken,
”
said the boy. His nameplate bore
the name
“
Bennett.
”

“
Which ones?”

“
All of them.”

“
By whom?”

“
None of your business,
Meteor.”

“
Well, I will use it until they
get back.”

“
No, you won
’
t,” he snarled.

Aisha was aware that all eyes in
the room were on her. She put her tray down, sat, and calmly began
to eat as if nothing happened.

“
Did you hear me?”

Looking at her plate, Aisha picked
up her knife and started slowly cutting the meat, trying to ignore
him, and trying to look like she
wasn
’
t
actively ignoring him -- and instead that he
just wasn
’
t part of her
universe.

She cut a small piece of meat, put
it in her mouth and began to chew.

“
I said, ‘Did you hear me,’ you
stupid cow?”

His voice was raising in volume
and pitch. She knew that she shouldn
’
t
react. She was winning. She closed her eyes a moment and took a
deep breath. She wasn
’
t going to let him
get to her.

She felt the table jar as Bennett
stood and pushed himself back from it. Her drink toppled and
spilled. She tried not to flinch, and calmly picked the cup up and
placed it upright.

“
You think the silent treatment
works with me, is that it, you little scumbag?”

It obviously is working, she
thought to herself. Keep it up.

She quickly looked around the
room. All eyes were on the confrontation. Many of the older kids
were watching her, measuring her up. Her launch group was gathered
around the doorway, eyes darting between her and
Bennett.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her
back, grabbing her hair. With surprising strength, he pulled her
out of her seat and slammed her against the wall.

“
You think you are so smart,
don
’
t you? Well, you are nothing.
You
’
ve never been anything.
You
’
ll never be anything, and definitely
not around here.”

“
That
’
s not for you to
judge,
”
said
Aisha, trying not to show the pain she was feeling in her voice or
on her face. She fought to stay calm.

“
Oh yes it is. You
’
ll listen to me. You keep your ugly black face out of
my sight for the rest of the time you are here, or I will break it
for you in front of all your friends.”

“
You are in front of them now,”
she said. “Show them what you can do.”

Fighting the urge to cry, she
instead smiled a broad smile.

“
You don
’
t know what I can do, you stupid n--”

Aisha was stunned. Was he really
going to use
that
word? Before she knew it, she had
flinched. Eyes opened wide. Tears began to flow. Her body
involuntarily began to shake.

But he hadn
’
t said it. He stopped, and she realized that he was
baiting her. “One simple word can do all that? And I
didn
’
t even say it,” he smiled.
“That
’
s how I know
we
won.
That
’
s how I know
we
are superior.
You and your stupid little people use that word all the time, and
think that you are taking our word for you and turning it against
us. But every time you use it. Every time you call each other by
that name,
we
win.”

She could feel the anger rising.
She began to breathe hard. Her eyes narrowed and looked at
him.

“
You want to hit me, you stupid
slave? Go on. I
’
m right here.”

He let her go and stood back, arms
wide open. “Go on, you get a free shot. Heck as you
’
re just a
girl,
I
’
ll
give you two shots. Go on.”

He turned and addressed the room.
“What is she you waiting for? Right here. A couple of freebies.” He
faced her again. “Hit me with your best shot, you stupid
meteor!”

She was shaking uncontrollably.
She felt a sob begin to move through her body. She had to get out
of there. She had to leave. Now.

She ran out of the room, bumping
into other students, hearing the laughter echo behind her. Her
stomach began to churn. She found a restroom and ran into it.
Bursting into one of the stalls, she fell on her knees and
heaved.

***

Feeling a little better, she came
out of the stall and went to the sink to wash her face. With one
hand she held her hair up, and with the other she splashed water on
her face. She plugged the sink to let it fill up with the clean
water.

She felt a hand on her shoulder,
and looked up to see Lim, the girl that had been sitting at the
table with Bennett.

“
Let me,” she said softly, and
took hold of Aisha
’
s hair.

“
Thanks,” said Aisha, throwing
more water on her face, and bending further to cup some water into
her mouth to rinse out the taste of vomit.

She felt Lim grip her hair
roughly, and with surprising strength push her face down into the
water. She struggled, but Lim used her weight to push
Aisha
’
s neck against the rim of the sink.
The message was clear -- if she struggled, she might choke before
she drowned. She tried to calm herself, and Lim got the
message.

Pulling her out of the water, she
snarled into Aisha’s ear, “You might think you
’
re hot stuff, but you
’
re
nothing here. And if you ever try to show him up like that again, I
will
kill you. You got that?”

Again, Aisha
’
s face was buried in the water, and her head was
banged roughly against the faucet. She felt Lim
’
s grip release, and she pulled herself up. Blood from
her scalp seeped down into the water, thickening and reddening
it.

She fell to her butt and put her
face in her hands. Sobs wracked her body, and all the control that
she had tried to keep just gave way. She flopped onto the ground,
not caring about the blood seeping from her scalp, and cried more
than she had done in years.

She wanted to go home.

When the Pharisees asked Jesus
what he thought the greatest commandment was, it appeared that they
were trying to trick him. If he picked one over the other, they
could bludgeon him with well-prepared arguments about why the one
he chose was wrong.

Perhaps Jesus knew, ahead of time,
what Mark Twain famously said -- “Don’t argue with stupid people,
because they’ll bring you down to their level and beat you with
experience.” So he answered them with a sentence that captured all
of the commandments, without being any of the commandments: “Love
the Lord your God with all your heart and all your mind and all
your soul, and love your neighbor as yourself”.

Whether or not you follow in his
ways, you have to admire the intelligence in this answer. The
Pharisees were trying to maneuver him into a fight, but he not only
saw that fight, he won it before it began.

You might think it a pity then
that they killed him eventually, unless you realize that that’s
probably what he wanted all along. They were pawns in his plan. And
you can do the same with your enemies. Find what it is that they
yearn for, and manipulate them into what you want using
that…

Staggering back to her
apartment, she was glad that the corridors were quiet, and few
people would see her. She barely noticed Soo-Kyung in the common
room as she ran past her, into her room, and slammed the
door.

She turned the window beside her
bed to views of home. Hills, fields, oceans and beaches. Anything
that wasn
’
t this place. It
didn
’
t help. If anything, it made things
worse, and the yearning within her chest hurt worse than the cut on
her scalp.

There was a soft knock on the
door.

“
Go away,” she yelled, trying not
to sound like she was crying, but she found herself crying all the
more.

She knew that Soo-Kyung was still
standing outside. “Just go away, I want to be alone,” she repeated.
But quieter this time.

“
No,
”
came the soft voice from outside.
“
You
don
’
t, please
come out.
”

Aisha sat in silence, calming
herself. Trying to stop the sobbing. How had she fallen apart so
quickly?

Another voice came from outside.
Patrice. “Aisha, I heard what happened. Can you please come out?
We
’
re here for you.”

At his voice,
her heart leapt in her chest. She just wanted him to hold her right
now. Not to fight her fights for her. Not to save her. Just to hold
her. She wanted to feel the closeness of another person. Of
a
man
. That
strength that only a man had. She wanted to hold onto him and feel
it seep into her pores so she could stand up and face everyone
again. So that she could walk up to Bennett and Lim
and…

And what? Beat them up? What would
that solve? How would she win this fight?

She
’
d
have to start by picking herself up off the floor. By ceasing the
crying and feeling sorry for herself. By working with her friends
to gain her strength, her confidence and her self-respect back.
They were just on the other side of the door. It should be so
easy.

It wasn
’
t. She
’
d try to lift herself
up, envision walking out the door and seeing Soo-Kyung, Patrice and
Seamus there. See the kindness in their eyes as they heard about
what happened. It would be so beautiful.

But she was still sitting
here.