Fully Automatic (Bullet) (13 page)

He had to know.  “What happened exactly?”

“You don’t remember?”

“It’s fuzzy.”

“You fell asleep.”

“What were we doing?”

She smiled.  “We were just joking around, and you passed out on my bed.”

He knew, though.  He wasn’t positive, but he was sure they’d been in the same bed.  That again gave him hope.  “But…you slept here…in this bed…
with
me, right?”

She
nodded.  “Yeah.  This is my bed.  That bed over there belongs to my roommate.  I didn’t think it’d be cool if I crashed on her bed, just in case she came back needing it.”

That sounded right.  He seemed to remember her being close to him all night long, but he’d been too wasted to do a damn thing about it. 
“I lost a golden opportunity.  I need to quit drinking so much.”

“Maybe.  Now…I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted, and you need your rest too.  Do you mind sleeping for a little longer?”

He’d love more sleep, no question, and he might have felt hung over, but he was also a realist.  “No way in hell will I be able to sleep if you cuddle up next to me like you did last night.”

The look on her face was priceless.  She looked helpless and lost.  “Oh…”

He didn’t want to miss this opportunity.  For the first time ever, Val had seemed like she wasn’t worried about Ethan or how she felt about the guy.  For once, she seemed to think only about Brad, and he was going to blow it if he came on too strong.  Truth be told, he felt like shit anyway.  “No.  You know what?  You said I was a gentleman, so I guess I’ll do my best to keep being a gentleman.”

“You sure?”

“Shit, Val…it’s
your
bed.  I’m not kickin’ you out of it just ‘cause I’m a—what’d you call me last night?  I might be a bad boy, but I can keep my dogs down.”

“I didn’t say
that
.”

He laughed.  “No, but I
do
remember you calling me a bad boy.  And you seemed to like that.”

She smiled and sat on the bed.  “So is it okay if I lie here too?  I’ll roll over so my back is to you.”

He couldn’t help but sigh.  God, what he wouldn’t love to do with her right next to him.  But he’d promised.  “Do what you gotta do.  I’ll…just roll over too.”  He lay on his side, facing her roommate’s empty bed, while Val lay next to him, her back barely touching his, and she faced the wall.  Not only was it uncomfortable and he felt like he was hanging on the edge of the bed (besides the fact that he had a killer fucking headache), he hated not holding her, even if nothing happened.  They’d managed to sleep next to each other all night long and not do anything, so why not now?

He rolled over and said, “I can’t get comfortable.  I promise…no funny business.”  At first, he wasn’t sure if she was awake until she turned her head.  “But are you okay if I face this way?  Isn’t that what we did last night?”

She turned her head back to face the wall and said, “Yeah.”

“Do you mind if we do it again?  I don’t think I’ll be able to get to sleep the other way, and I’ve got a headache.  I just want to sleep it off.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

Good.  Facing the same way felt more natural, because they didn’t feel like they were at cross purposes.  They curved the same way, so they took advantage of the space instead of fighting against it.  He rested his right arm between their bodies and closed his eyes.  Not a minute later, he felt Val’s hand on his arm, pulling it over her body.  He was glad he felt like shit or he would have gotten way too excited before she said,
“That’s not an invitation.”

He smiled but tried to keep it out of his voice.  It was nice anyway. 
“Is it okay to close the gap?”

“I guess that would be okay.”

So he moved right up next to her and focused on his headache…because if he didn’t, feeling her soft body up against his, her sweet-smelling hair flooding his nostrils, he was gonna pop a boner—and then she’d kick his ass out for sure.

No, he was
simply going to try to enjoy the moment and pray he could fall back asleep.

Chapter Fourteen

A FEW HOURS later, Brad sensed that Valerie got out of bed, but he fell back to sleep.  If it hadn’t been hours later, he would have worried and thought maybe he’d made her too uncomfortable and she had given up, but he knew they’d been out for a while.

He woke up again later when he heard the door to her room close.  She wasn’t being loud, but he’d awakened anyway.  He heard her chair slide on the floor as she sat down
, and he imagined her sitting there staring at him, and it freaked him out.  So he opened his eyes and smiled when he saw her back was to him.  She pulled a drawer on her desk open and started putting makeup on.  He could only imagine what her face looked like, framed by the white towel wrapping her hair.  He couldn’t tell what she was wearing—only that it was pink, not the black Godsmack t-shirt she’d been wearing the night before—but he couldn’t stop watching her, thinking about her.  He let out a breath.  He didn’t know the last time he’d wanted someone so badly, if he ever had.

Several minutes later, she pulled the towel off her head and set it on the side of the desk, then started running a comb through her hair.  God.  This was bad.  He could have watched her for hours, just pining away for her, enjoying the way she moved, wanting to touch her, tell her.  She started to stand, and that was when he knew the jig was up, so he sat up in bed and said, “Morning.”

“Did you sleep okay?”

“Yeah.  Thanks.” 
Aw, fuck.  She was wearing a pink robe that ended at her knees.  It was held closed by a little fabric belt that she’d tied in a bow.  God, that would be so easy to undo and find out what she wasn’t wearing under there after her shower. 
Focus, Payne.  Focus, man.
  He hoped the look on his face wasn’t as lustful as the thoughts in his head.  Back to practical conversation to take his mind off her body.  “Did I make it hard for you to sleep?”

“Nope.  I slept fine.”

He had to get out of there, or she would be in trouble.  And he wouldn’t make a good first impression anyway.  His mouth was dry—that was thanks to the rum—and he knew he could stand a hot shower.  He ran his hands over his face and then looked for his shoes on the side of the bed where he lay.  They weren’t there, so he peeked on the other side and found them.

As he put them on, his brain was at work on a master plan.  He too would clean up and then he was going to return and tell Val exactly what he’d been thinking.  Well, no, he couldn’t do that, because he would scare her for sure.  But he wasn’t ready to give up yet.  Just because his body hadn’t cooperated the night before was no reason to throw in the towel.  So, once his shoes were on, he stood and said,
“If you can just point me in the right direction, I think I can find Ethan’s place.  I need to see what the guys are up to—I’m not sure when we’re hitting the road.”

She
led him to the door and pointed down the hall.  “Go through that door to the stairs.  When you get to the ground floor, go out the door.  Then there’s a long hallway.  Follow it all the way to the end.  There you’ll see a door just like this one.  Those are the stairs to Ethan’s dorm.  He’s on the second floor.”

“Yeah…I remembered that much.”  He
wasn’t ready to go—not yet.  “Hey…thanks.”

“For what?”

He smiled and shook his head.  He was grateful he’d found his balls, but he wasn’t going to give away what was floating around in his head.  “For everything.”  He started walking down the hall, turning around before she closed the door.  “I’ll be back in a while.”

“Okay.”
  That was all he needed to hear.

He made his way back to Ethan’s room—between her directions and his memory, it wasn’t too difficult.
  He knocked on the door.  Nothing.  He knocked again and thought he heard motion so he stood and waited.  He might have to return to Val’s room sooner than he’d hoped.  He shook his head.  No way was he gonna hit on the girl without showering and brushing his teeth.

Zane answered the door, looking disheveled and in pain.  Brad knew why.  Yeah, Brad had had way too much to drink and had been hurting because of it, but Zane had mixed rum and vodka, a killer fucking combination.  Zane looked exhausted too.  He’d be glad he didn’t have to travel today.  When Zane saw it was Brad at the door, he stood back to let his friend in.  “Where you been?”

“Over at Val’s.”

Zane raised his eyebrows.  “You fuckin’ with me?”

Brad grinned on one side of his face.  “Nothing happened.”

Zane tilted his head back toward Ethan’s bed where Ethan lay, sprawled out and alone.  Brad wondered what had happened to the girl with the blowjob mouth who’d been hanging with his friend the night before.  “You’ll have a hell of a time convincing him of that.”

The smile on Brad’s face faded.  “You think I give a fuck what he thinks?”

Zane raised his eyebrows and sat on the edge of the bed, avoiding Jennifer’s feet.  “You know he and Val dated for a while, right?”

“We’re not goin’ there, man.  You have no fuckin’ idea.”

“What?”

Brad shook his head.  He really
didn’t
want to go there.  He’d have to, though, or Zane would think he was a scuzzball.  He sighed.  “I was interested in Valerie the weekend you guys came home and brought her with you…
and
I asked Ethan if he would care if I pursued her.  And guess what?  He said
no
.”

Brad watched the realization wash over Zane’s face.  Yeah, the bassist knew—when he really thought about it—that it made perfect sense.  Valerie wasn’t Ethan’s t
ype—not even close.  Zane had known Brad for a while but hadn’t been close friends with him, so he might not have known that Val was the kind of girl Brad was attracted to.  It made no sense, really.  With the tattoos and the hair, the whole music lifestyle Brad was pursuing, the last kind of girls he should be pursuing was nice girls.  The dads of the girls Brad had dated never said anything, but it was obvious they hated him.  Hell, part of him believed that was why Leah’s dad had moved their family to Lakewood.

He knew that wasn’t true, and he’d started to sense Leah wouldn’t have wanted him forever anyway.  That was okay.  What he felt for Val…well, it felt different somehow.  And he knew she felt something too.

Zane shook his head.  “Sorry.  I didn’t know.”

“It’s cool, man.”  He looked around.  Nick and the girl he’d been with weren’t where they’d been the night before.  In fact, they weren’t in the room, near as Brad could tell.

“Nick with that girl?”

“I think so.  He was wasted, dude.”

“Yeah, I know.”  He told his friend he needed to shower, so Zane showed him where everything was and lay down next to Jennifer again, pulling her into an embrace.  Brad was glad he’d learned from shows that he always needed an extra change of clothes, so he’d brought one for last night and one for today.  He didn’t want Val thinking he was a grungy rock star who didn’t give a shit about hygiene.  He planned on finally making that move…and he wanted nothing stopping him.  Nothing.

* * *

He walked back to Val’s room a while later, feeling more confident.  He was clean and felt a lot better than he had earlier.  He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about holding her all night long.

When Val answered the door, she looked surprised to see him.  He was glad
she didn’t look upset.  She invited him in and he told her about the state of his Fully Automatic bandmates who were in bad shape overall.  He told her they would stay there a while longer, and she invited him to hang out with her.

That was when it was time to make his move.  He let the confident feeling surge through his veins
, and he stepped closer to her, close enough to touch her.  “That’s not the main reason why I came back here, though.”  He waited a few seconds to let his words register with her and then he said, “We have a little unfinished business.”

She seemed so innocent in that moment
.  “We do?”

Yes, innocent maybe, but n
ot unwilling.  He leaned over and took her face in his hands, lifting her lips to his.  He kissed her, as gently as he could allow himself to, but, goddamn, it was difficult.  He’d been imagining this moment for months now, and he wanted her badly.  Way too badly.  Fuck.  He should have jerked off in the shower, because controlling himself was going to be harder than usual.  Would losing his load have helped?  He didn’t know, but he had to stop thinking about that right now.

It was hard, though, because she tasted so sweet, and her response was just as he’d imagined.  She parted her lips and took him in.  Yeah, she was willing and eager, and all that did was fuel his fire.  She was feeling it too, that weird attraction between them igniting into something bigger than he’d expected, something he knew he’d be lucky to control.  Still…he kept his breathing (and his cock) under control for the meantime and ended the kiss.
  Oh, fuck.  And she placed her hands on his pecs as though to steady herself.  It took her a few seconds to open her eyes, as though she’d been transported.  When he had her full attention, he said, “Unfinished, right?”

She gave him a tiny smile, sweet and naïve, and seemed to give the tiniest of nods.  Well, she wasn’t pushing him away.  In fact, she seemed breathless and expectant.  He wasn’t going to disappoint her, so he kissed her again, and he would have sworn it was magic.  Okay, so he never would have said something like that to one of his friends.  Ethan would have called him a
pussy
if he’d even known Brad had been thinking something like that.  But it was, though—it was more than just a kiss.  It felt like they deepened their connection in that moment, like he could see inside her soul and, yes, she was pure and light and everything he could ever want.

He knew her response was a sign to move forward, so he wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her close.  Fuckin’ A.  She smelled so goddamn good and felt so right up next to him.  She moved her hands onto his neck and then slid them up into his hair, driving him insane.  Jesus…he wanted to fuck her right there, but he knew a girl like Val would need finesse.  And he wanted to give that to her.  He wanted her to know she wasn’t just a cheap lay for him.  Still, he wanted to move the proceedings forward, so he slid his hands down to her ass, using it as an excuse to press her harder into his body.

And her fingers in his hair.  Shit.  She was driving him fucking crazy.

Her breathing got deeper, so he knew he was on the right track.
  He couldn’t hold it back anymore and just let the blood flow straight to his cock…like he’d be able to stop it anyway.  He moved his lips to her neck and not only did she let out a sigh, he could have sworn he heard a moan.  Fuck, yeah.  He didn’t know that a girl had ever done that before they’d actually engaged in the real deal.  He moved a hand up underneath her shirt, feeling the bare skin above her jeans, and he heard her breathing quicken again.

It was then, though, that she took a hand out of his hair and placed it firmly on his chest.  No.  Fuck, no.  If he was reading her right, she was putting on the brakes.

“Brad…please stop.”

He opened his eyes and
looked in hers.  “Stop?”

“Yeah.”

Why was she changing her mind?  Was that really what she wanted?  He had to try one more time.  He kissed her again.  Yeah, there were those sparks.  Could she deny them?  “Stop
that
?”

She blinked
.  “Yes.”

“You don’t seem so sure…”  He pressed his forehead on
hers and bore into her eyes with his.  He wanted to understand.  “What’s wrong?”

She moved both hands to his chest.  She wasn’t pressing against him as if to push him away, but they seemed to ground her. 
“I…It’s not you, Brad.  Oh, God, it’s not you.  I swear.  I want you bad.”

That’s what he’d thought. 
“So why not?  If you’re worried about birth control…”  He wasn’t going to be irresponsible.  She had to know that.

She hesitated. 
“No.  I’m…um…  I’m a…”

“Virgin?” 
He knew it even before she nodded her head.  “Oh.”  He nodded too as if to process the information.  “Oh.  Yeah.  Uh…your first time should be…special, right?  At least, for girls.  I didn’t give much of a shit.”  He didn’t know how to do that for her, not right now, anyway.  He was nearly out of his mind with desire, and she was pulling the plug.  He needed a bathtub of ice water to jump in.  She giggled and, in spite of his feelings of desperation, he found it endearing.  But then it dawned on him.  Fuck.  He had to know.  As much as it was gonna hurt, he needed to know.  Her eyes all but said it, but he needed to confirm it.  “That’s not it, though.  It’s Ethan, isn’t it?  You still care about him.”  She didn’t say a word.  She didn’t need to.  It was written all over her face.  And thank the fucking saints, because he felt his hard on wilt.  He sighed.  “And…I already told you, as you’ll recall, nothing between you and me as long as he’s in the picture.”  He let go of Valerie and walked across the room.  He sucked in another deep breath and then turned to look at her.  He wasn’t sure where to go from here, but as long as she was pining for Ethan, he wasn’t going to press his luck.  No fucking way.  He wasn’t going to be rebound guy.  That said, he cared about Valerie and didn’t want her to feel bad, especially after being honest with him.  Next best thing.  “So…how about we go grab a bite to eat?  I’m starving.”