Gabriel's Promise (A Romantic Comedy) (13 page)

Chief

 
I hope that boy hurries up
and get here this child is like to put me in an early grave. After this
mornings' ode to the throne, which is when I called the baby daddy, Lord my
daughter was pregnant out of wedlock...never mind that now, anyway ever since
then she's been on a tear. Her and that stupid dog have been running around
here cleaning and spraying and who knows what. I'm not sure all this excitement
was good for the baby, but what did I know? And since she didn't know she was
knocked up, and I had no intentions on being the one to inform her, I was gonna
have to come up with something to keep her quiet for the rest of the day.

“Oh,
ugh..."

“Pop?" She came running into the living
room; okay that wasn't so good either, but hey. ‚

“What's the matter with you, you sick, you
hurt yourself?"

I rolled my eyes where she couldn't see at
least it had worked.

 
"I don't feel so good Priss, I think I
need to go to the hospital or something." Lord let her talk me out of
this.

"Why, what's wrong?"

I just feel...off."

"Off how?"

Good Lord
was she gonna talk me to death? Maybe I should've thought this thing through
better.

“Off, off, what do you mean off how?"

"What hurts, you been in the whiskey
again?"

Excuse me,
there's only one lush in this family and it so happens to be you, thank you
very much."

“I guess
you're okay since your lips are still flapping."

Damn, me and my big mouth, what to do now?

“Maybe I'm allergic to the flying
squirrel."

"You can move out he's staying."

She kissed the ugly thing after that
atrocious statement, oh it's on now,
this
is the
thanks I get for trying to save her skin.

"Listen you…”

GABE

 
I got there as soon as I could
from the airport and from the looks of things I'd made it just in time, there
appeared to be some sort of standoff underfoot in the Holder residence. It had
only been a week, but I had missed this, in fact it was getting harder to
remember my life before them. You and that mutt can both go...."

“Ahem, hello
chief." I couldn't have him tormenting my pregnant
fiance
now could I?

“Gabriel..."
My word, that smile alone was worth the trip, she flew into my arms, lurched,
grabbed her stomach, covered her mouth and ran for the restroom. Shit, until
that moment it hadn't really registered, hadn’t quite sunk in this was for
real. One look at the chief and I knew for sure it was. His eyes were working
overtime.

“Might as
well strap something around her neck as often as she does that."

"Chief, a little compassion
please."

"You didn't hear what she said to me
before you showed up."

 
“I'm
sure you didn't instigate any of it right."

"I was
trying to keep her in the house until you got here, the girl is liable to be
jumping off a cliff or riding a motorcycle at break neck speeds." ‚
"Oh Gabriel, you came all this way and now you're gonna get sick, you
can't come near me, I think I caught something and now I think that one is
catching it too."
 
She pointed at
her father when she said this.

"That
one, that's how you address your father, and it will be a complete miracle not
to mention disaster if I had what you have, in fact I think it's still
impossible, no matter how far man has come with science and technology.

"Chief!"

He huffed
and piped down, I 'm not sure she understood his ramblings, but just in case,
that was no way for her to learn she was going to be a mother.

"Sam
baby let's go sit and talk, you won't make me sick I promise." She still
looked skeptical but went ahead of me to sit on the couch.

"Dumber
than a bag a hammers." I actually flicked his ear for that one, even
though he mumbled
it,
it was still loud enough to
hear.

“I see you miss baby food, why don't you leave well enough alone
before she really clobbers you?"

"Humph, and you think that would be the first time, think
again, that termagant is always being violent, and me being an invalid."

 
"Parsnips, kale,
turnips, sound good for dinner pop?"

 
He blanched and sputtered
as I shook my head and followed after her. He'll never learn.

I sat next to her on the couch and took both her hands in mine.

"Do you know why I'm here flower?" She shrugged her
shoulders.

"You finished your stuff early so you came?" I shook my
head and kissed her hair, I couldn't resist.

"No, your father called me, he said you weren't feeling too
well."

 
“He did, why would he
bother you about that? It's just a little bug, no big deal."

 
I could hear the chief who
was eavesdropping from the doorway huffing and muttering, no doubt I was gonna
hear all about using his name and getting him involved before too long. How
else he thought I should explain my presence to her was beyond me.

"The reason I'm here is because..." Shit, how to
proceed? This could go either way, she could either be excited about the baby,
or she could totally flip out. I'm hoping for the former.

"We think you might be pregnant Sam." There, I said it
nice and quick maybe that’ll soften the blow; she squinted at me, looked down
at her tummy, looked back at me and shook her head no.

I nodded mine yes, she pulled her shirt up and looked at her
stomach. I almost laughed, it was as though she expected to see evidence of the
baby right away.

"Good God girl fix yourself, that's how you got into this predicament
in the first place I bet. Good Lord tell me my grand baby wasn't conceived
during her alcohol fuse, child will probably be born with a bottle in it's
hand."

In that moment I realized something, this was his way of
protecting her, whenever he thought something was going to be too much for her
to process or was going to upset her, he tried to distract her by being
difficult.

 
It always seemed to work
too; good job chief, I looked over and smiled at him, he saw the understanding
on my face, I saw the anxiety on his.

"But Gabriel..."

 
"Yes baby?" She
was whispering so I followed suit, I guess this wasn't for the chief’s ears.

"We didn't do all that stuff you're supposed to do to you
know..."

I was lost, what the hell did she mean? She couldn't have
forgotten all those times I took her to my bed or joined her in hers could she?
"Flower, you do remember that we made love don't you?"

"
Sssh
." She looked back at her
father who was rolling his eyes and muttering under his breath, I wonder if he
realized he was petting the dog, his supposed archenemy.

"Of course I remember, I’m not a complete ninny but we didn't
do the other stuff."

Huh, lord help me what was going on in that head of hers now?

"What other stuff baby?"

"You know, I didn't put my legs up...after, or any of that
other stuff that they say you have to do when you want to have a baby."

There was a choking sound coming from the doorway, I sent him a
glare to keep him quiet, this was a delicate situation after all.

"Baby, some women only do that in certain situations, didn't
you study any of this stuff in your homeschooling?"

"Kinda but...and you think there's a baby in there?"

She pointed to her stomach, I nodded, and the sun came out.

Oh thank God.

I smiled over at the chief who took a deep breath she was going to
be okay.

She had the most radiant smile on her face then she started to
laugh.

"Pop, guess what."

"What Priss?" He was smiling now too.

"You can't catch what I got." She thought that was
hilarious.

"You
hoo
, Holder family."

Uh oh, that sounded like those girls, what now?

"Wasn't me, I didn't invite anybody." Chief put his
hands up in surrender, I could see flower already building up a good head of
steam, those girls really did rub her the wrong way, but then she did the
strangest thing, she started smiling and playing with her ring, and if I hadn't
seen it with my own two eyes I would never have believed it, she lounged back
against the back of the couch draping her hand across to show her ring to the
best advantage.

"Paula, Diana, how nice to see you, won't you join us?"

 
Of course the hand was
swinging from left to right with every word and you would have to be blind not
to see the rays that came off the rock from the reflection of the sunlight
coming through the windows.

"Oh my...Samantha are you engaged?"

I think that was Diana speaking but I'm not too sure, whenever I
had been in their presence I hadn't had enough time to get to know who was who
before my flower was running them off.

Yes I am."

"To who?" They both looked around the room as though
expecting to see some mystery man.

"To Gabriel of course."

Uh oh she sounded a little peeved, I looked over at the chief who
had a half grin on his face he did like a good show after all.

The stupid girl took her life in her hands and started laughing.

"Oh shit." You got that right chief.

"Good one Sam, no seriously who is it? It's not that Brandon
is it, I mean I know your options are limited but even you can do better than
that, let me see, is the ring even real?"

I was about to step in but even I had to admit that was a low
blow, chief looked ready to chew off his tongue, I decided to sit back and let
my girl do her thing. Brandon indeed.

"You know me girls, always the joker, why don't I get you two
something nice and cold to drink?"

Uh huh, kitchen around here equals
shotguns,
I should probably put a stop to this, but what the hell. The chief didn't even
try.

I wondered how these two couldn't hear all the muttering and
stomping around in there.

"Flower no stomping love remember we have to be careful
now."

"Oh, oh yeah I forgot, don't mind me Gabriel."

"So Gabriel back so soon?"

I don't know which one she was but she started winking her eyes at
me just before all hell broke loose.

"Not good enough for a man like Gabriel
am
I?" That's all she said before she really took a shot at them, right down
the middle.

Prince Charles yelped and jumped off of chief's lap and headed for
cover, smart dog. Chief was laughing like a loon and I had finally gotten my
head out of my ass and was trying to get the gun away from flower.

"Okay baby that's enough."

The two clueless ninnies as Sam would say were ducking and hiding
behind the love seat.

"That's it, that's the last time we try to be friends with
you, you, you...
unnhhhhh
." They stomped out the
door keeping a weary eye on her the whole time.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish."

I had my hand around her middle to keep her from going after them,
she was a blood thirsty little thing when riled no doubt about it.

"Settle down baby, remember, you can't be getting so excited
anymore, it can't be good for the baby."

I kissed her hair as she softened.

"Listen here Annie Oakley, you put that damn gun down and act
like you got some sense. I think it's time we hurried this moving business along
before the law shows up to cart you off. What the hell do you read in those
books of yours anyway? I thought those Brits were a peace loving bunch, where
you get all this fire and piss from is beyond me."

"I have to go shopping." I was getting whiplash dealing
with her moods today, then again what was new about that?

"What do you need baby?"

"Pregnant clothes of course." She smiled wide at me, I
couldn't help it, I kissed the hell out of her, why burst her bubble and tell her
that it was going to be a while before she needed that stuff?

"Lord help us, she's really gone off the deep end this
time."

"Chief!"

"Maternity clothes and this morning she didn't even know she
was pregnant, I don't know where I went wrong."

He went off muttering to himself as usual while I stole some more
kisses. One more disaster averted, whew.

Chief

Guess where I am, go ahead, I bet you in a
thousand years you'd never guess, why, because rational people with common
sense don't think like my little family. Obviously what my Phil saw in these
two was that they were both cracked. My daughter who hasn't gained an ounce
since she was fifteen is at the mall, thank the good Lord it's in Annandale and
not the little mall we have back in Lexington or I would die of embarrassment
on the spot.

What's she doing here you ask, well I'll tell
you, maternity clothes, yes you heard me right, Miss. Priss and the clueless
wonder that she's about to marry in a couple months dragged me off to the mall to
buy her fat clothes, never seen anything like it in all my days.

"I don't see why I had to be here, you
should just order her a gunnysack, the way she's been eating since she heard
those magical words, you're gonna need it."

"Would you be quiet? Let her enjoy this
she's having fun."

"Son...I never thought I'd day this to a
fighting man, but I'm embarrassed to know you."

"Yeah, why's that?" Not that I
cared, whatever came out of his mouth it was bound to be contrary.

"You couldn't tell her that this was
stupid? The girl is skinny as a rail, where's she going in fat clothes?"

"First of all you cranky old geezer,
they're not fat clothes and you better not let her hear you calling them that
or you're on your own when she goes after you again. I've been here a week and
a half and I've had to save your hide at least three times already."

"You didn't stop her this morning when
she popped me one behind the head." Damn infuriating girl, I just knew she
was going to be even more of a pain than usual, what with hormones and what
not.

"You called her an imbecilic ingrate,
whatever the heck that means, you're lucky that's all she did, and I did save
you, I started kissing her to take her mind off of you didn't I?"

"And that's another thing, if you want
me to move in with you two you're gonna have to take it easy on the tonsil
hockey." He started laughing like a loon.

"What the hell is so funny, you think
I'm kidding but you two are a public nuisance a body can't turn around without
being assaulted by your fornicating."

 
"Chief!"

"
Whaaaat
?"

"Shut it, here she comes be nice, I
don't care what you really think, just say it looks nice or I'll get her a
kitten on the way home."

"You...traitor to the male species, turn
in your man card Sweeney, cause you're not using it that I can see."

"Whatever, you just be nice to my flower
or you're gonna get it."