Gage, Ronna - The Search is Over (Siren Publishing Classic) (4 page)

Jesse looked up at her. “We need to talk.” He sat on the bed, his eyes fastened to hers. He showed some dread in his expression, but not much.

Shot the idea to take a nap all to hell.
“About what?” she asked simply, setting the laundry basket by the bed.
This is it. It’s going to be over now.

“I have to confess something. I felt a little homesick while I’ve been living in
Texas
, and when I went home to visit. Well, I think I am going to be moving back soon.”

She didn’t even try to feign heartbreak or even disappointment. “Well, it makes sense. Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

He nodded. “Yes, this is what I want. And I want us to break up.”

Candi figured that would be next. She put away the clothes and avoided eye contact until he finished with his off-the-cuff breakup.

“And there’s some else.”

“What’s that?”

“You need to move out.”

Candi stared at him in disbelief. “Jesse, you can’t be serious?” She slammed two folded T-shirts into the basket. “I don’t need this shit right now. You know, ever since you came back from your mother’s house in
Idaho
yesterday, you’ve acted strange. I’ve waited for you to tell me all about what really took you up there.”

“There’s nothing sinister about me going to see my mother,” he shot back with irritation.

“Yeah, I know!”
Back off girl. You’ll blow it.
Although Jesse couldn’t stop talking about his trip and how much fun he’d had in the northern country, he still kept mum about this Stephanie woman, or the fact that he’d been talking to her for weeks.

He yawned. “And I don’t need you staying around here messing things up for me.”

She looked at Jesse with bitter contempt. “I suppose the fact that I lived here first doesn’t matter.”

He shook his head.

Damn it.
Of course I have to be the one to find another place to live. All because his father is screwing my roommate
. Candi shook her head. “No, you move out.”

“Candi, come on, damn! This relationship isn’t what either of us wants. It’s going nowhere,” Jesse pointed out rather quickly.

The bunched muscles of his arms jumped out at her as he rubbed his hands down his face. He wore nothing but a pair of black physical training shorts. His bare chest was covered with a thick mat of dark brown hair that swirled in opposing circles to cover his nipples. His waist narrowed to strong hips and thighs. He still had the body of a Marine—a discharged Marine, but one all the same.

Candi couldn’t hold back any more. She waited for the real confession that never came.
Well, I guess I will get this ball rolling
...

“I know this relationship isn’t what you want. If it were, you wouldn’t have gone to see your new girlfriend.” The shock on his face was priceless. “Didn’t think I knew about her, did you?” Candi waited for Jesse to lie, but he stood in the small bedroom looking at her as if she’d just grown a third boob on her chest. “Too bad you couldn’t at least have the balls to tell
her
the truth.”

“Why hurt her?”

His cavalier statement took
her
by surprise. The remark also killed any remaining feelings she had for him. The moment of silence that settled between them, filled with things left unsaid. Just as well, there were too many things to make an amends for, and she didn’t intend to fight another woman for him.

“Look, Jesse, I will be moving out in December. Minerva and I agreed that I could stay until I finish school.”

By the look on Jesse’s face, he hadn’t anticipated that bit of news either. “I’ll be out August.”

Candi could feel her patience running out, but she didn’t let it show. She refused to give him the satisfaction, knowing that he could get to her. “That means you will be out before me.” He thought about that a moment.

Odd that he’d wait five months to be with her.
“Why so long?”

“If you must know my business, I need to gather money to move back home.” He took a step toward her. “I think since it’s my dad’s trailer, you leave.”

“Considering that mine and Minerva’s names are also on the lease and I pay my part of the rent, and it’s on time, you’ll have to endure it until I either find a place I can afford and still go to school, or I finish. Either way, I’m not leaving anytime soon.” Candi squared her shoulders and walked toward the door. She looked over her shoulder. “You were a Marine once, adapt,” she said before she slammed the door in her wake.

A couple should never go to bed angry. They should never argue out their problems in the room that will be there to create the better times of a relationship.
In that second, the advice her mother once gave her echoed in her mind, and she almost burst out laughing. She usually took that piece of advice to heart, but not this time.

The midmorning heat wave forced Candi to turn on the small air conditioning unit in the window. It worked almost beyond its means to cool down the small living room.
Roy
, a pain in the ass, insisted it only be used when someone stayed home and could tend to it instead of keeping it on a lower setting all day to keep the house cool.

Candi raised the bottom of her shirt, aimed it at the cold blast of air from the unit and let the blower cool the built-up perspiration that formed on her body. Her nipples hardened in a nanosecond to the changed exposure.

“I need to get out of here as soon as possible. I won’t go through five months of potshots due to that, that dickhead.” She stood in front of the air unit, with her blouse raised, deep in thought, planning her next move.
Step one, save money. Step two, find a place I could afford to live, close to school and possibly work.
Candi realized with a sad heart that when she quit her job at the bar, she would be leaving Minerva.
Who do I talk to? Laugh with? Plan things out with? I lose her by default, and all
because Minerva is stuck in the middle, due to the family loyalty.
It made her sick to think about it.

She felt the goose bumps break out over her arms and the ache in her nipples from the chill. She turned away from the blast and came up short when she caught Jesse standing in the doorway of the bedroom, staring at her with that wolfish grin.

What was so handsome about him before?
She studied him now.
Sex?
The idea that he kept her from being lonely seemed to be the only logical answer that came to mind.
What exactly?
Distracted by her thoughts of reassessment, she forgot about Jesse standing there, until he cleared his throat and got her attention.

The lustful look in his eyes caught her off guard. He approached her slowly. “You know, Candi, there’s no reason we can’t be fuck buddies.”

The protruding bulge that literally led him by the short hairs disgusted her. She felt like an animal being preyed upon. “I think you have enough…buddies. Besides, I thought you found the love of your life,” Candi reminded him.

Even a class dunce couldn’t deny the sarcasm in her voice, but either Jesse wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed or he didn’t pay attention.

Typical.

“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” he assured her softly.

His smile, one that Candi knew to be a deal-closing, woman-catching, golden-boy-awarded smile that a fool would use to his advantage, made her nauseated. Softly, his fingertips traced the line of the thin strap of her tank top. The touch that caused fire in her thighs a short time ago chilled her to the bone in repulsion now.

She pinned him with as cold stare as she could muster. “Why hurt her?”

The words he threw at her moments before seemed to piss him off now. Angered by her sarcastic rejection, he turned cursing her as he stomped away.

“You bitch!” He turned inside the threshold. “You will miss me, Candi. No one else will please you like me. Mark my words.”

“Marked and entered.”

The parting comment intended to hurt her missed its mark. She stared at the empty doorway leading to the front porch. “Unless Mr. Right comes along and sweeps me off my feet, pretty boys like Jesse are an obstacle in the way to my success. Stay away,” she vowed, making up her mind on the spot. “I’ve planned too hard for an involvement risk.” And, it helped to protect her feelings and heart.

Only God knew when she would be ready for a significant relationship.
Only time will tell
. She walked past the window and paused to see him on the porch with a smug smile on his face. “Fucker!” She spat, and then walked by on her way to the kitchen for a cup of hot coffee. It was the thing to warm the nagging chill that settled around her.

Chapter Five

The massaging showerhead sprayed hot, pulsating water onto Candi’s shoulders, releasing the built-up tension between the two blades. White bubbles of shampoo cascaded down her body to gather in the drain below, taking the frustration and enigma of the last two days with it. The first setback, her breakup with Jesse, set the tensions within the household to almost unbearable proportions. They avoided each other when possible, and thank God her schedule kept her busy. She lolled her head under the massaging spray and grimaced at the memory in her mind. Working a double shift yesterday, she came home at three o’clock in the morning, barely enough time for a brief nap before her first day of orientation, which had been a chore to get through. Thanks to the eight cups of coffee, she did stay awake long enough to get most of her notes on a mini tape recorder Finally, she went to work yesterday consumed by exhaustion and wanted the day to end as quickly as possible. At work she took a quick look at the schedule and almost burst into tears when the revised schedule showed her to be off this evening.

“I figured you needed a break,” Minerva whispered in her ear at the end of their shift last night.

“You have no idea.” Candi hugged her warmly. She could feel the coil of pressure release in the pit of her stomach. “Minerva, you are such a good friend to me, always intuitive to my emotional stresses.”

“I figure business isn’t going to pick up, so go ahead and go home, get some rest for school, and take tomorrow night off.”

In her exhaustion, she spoke with heartfelt gratitude. “You are so great with encouraging my plans to continue with my studies.”

“Oh, honey, you are so welcome. It is my pleasure. You don’t need to be waiting on drunks all your life like I am.”

“Little things mean a lot to me. Like having an extra night off, knowing that business wouldn’t pick up and…”

“Look, you need a break,” Minerva said simply.

Candi appreciated having a supportive friend like Minerva in her corner.

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

Startled to the present, Candi jumped at the hammering sound of heavy fists on the door, which intruded the serenity of her shower.

“I’m in here,” she yelled, hoping to maintain a little privacy.

“Candi! It’s me,” Minerva answered. “
Chandler
wants to see you at the picnic tables.”

Candi rolled her eyes at the ill-timed interruption. “All right.” She reached down and turned off the water. “I’ll be right there.”

Stepping out of the shower, Candi felt the moist heat cling to her body. She quickly wrapped a towel around her shampooed head, and then grabbed the lightweight terrycloth robe off the hook. Slipping it on, she secured the belt around her wet body. The second she entered the bedroom, the cool breeze from the air-conditioner prickled her skin with goose bumps. She donned on a pair of pink silk running shorts under her robe. She unbelted the housecoat, slipped it off, and threw it toward the bed. She snatched a white cropped tank top from the pile of clean clothes in her drawer and then pulled it on and stood before the mirror and ran a comb through her wet hair. Opting to leave it down to dry, she then rubbed on deodorant and slipped into a pair of white flip-flops. Satisfied that in a rushed minute she looked decent, she walked to the kitchen.

“I thought I’d wait for you,” Minerva greeted, handing her a bottle of
Corona
topped with a wedge of fresh lime. “It’s too damn hot out there.”

“Thanks.” Candi took the bottle and watched Minerva pull her brown hair in a French roll on top of her head and secure it with a clasp. The tendrils of hair that escaped the rolled do, laid femininely down the side of her face.

“I don’t think there has ever been a time that you haven’t worn your hair up.”

“Being raised in
Minnesota
, I can’t stand the
Texas
heat.
Roy
says I complain about it too much, but I don’t care.”

Candi took a greedy drink of the beer. The cold liquid quenched the thirst of her parched throat and satisfied the spot of her unidentified craving. A sense of contentment came over her with that single swallow. “That’s almost better than sex,” she sighed gratefully.

“Then someone isn’t doing it right,” Minerva cautioned.

Candi couldn’t help but laugh. The remark, so like Minerva, at least when her boyfriend, Roy, wasn’t in the area to badger her every comment and make trouble for her, showed her comedic side.
Roy
never missed an opportunity to criticize the less-than-ladylike manners.