Gamer Girl (11 page)

"Genny,"
he said, in an English-accented voice. "I love you. God forgive
me, but I do."

I squirmed in
my seat, his words sending delicious tingles

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down to my
toes. Funny, it was kind of like how I imagined Sir Leo would talk,
if he were real. That formal English speech, his voice, rich and
almost majestic. I closed my eyes for a moment, my mind, in fantasy
overdrive, imagining Chad, on his knees, whispering those words to
me.

"Then God
forgive us both," Sarah/Guenevere cried, pulling me out of my
daydream as she pulled the knight actor to his feet. They paused for
a moment, locking eyes on each other, then Chad slowly took her face
in his hands and pressed his mouth against hers.

A pang of
jealousy stabbed at my gut and I watched them lock lips. So unfair.

They kissed for
only a moment, then broke away to continue the scene. I watched,
impressed. Chad was good. Really good. Up there onstage he seemed
like a different person from the one that hung out with Billy and the
Haters. More confident, more sure of himself. He wasn't shuffling and
stammering like he normally did. He was in his element here, I
guessed. Just like I was when I pulled out my sketchbook and drew.

The scene ended
and Mr. Seifert, the drama coach, stood up from his seat in the front
row. "Okay, take five," he said. "Chad and Sarah, good
work. Keep it up."

The houselights
came up, flooding the room and raising my low profile by quite a bit.
Embarrassed at being caught lurking, I jumped up from my seat and
started heading for the door.

"Maddy,
wait!"

Busted. I
froze. Someone was calling me from down by

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the stage.
Someone that sounded suspiciously like Chad. My heart started
pounding my chest and I realized my hands were shaking. I shoved them
behind my back as I turned around. He ran up the aisle and stopped in
front of me.

"Yes?"
I asked, cool, calm, and collected. Well, sort of.

He stared at
me, as if he'd forgotten why he had called out to me. He ran a hand
through his tousled blond hair and I noticed his cheeks were all
flushed--probably from running after me. Surely he wasn't blushing. .
. .

"How's . .
. how's your manga coming?" he asked. "Did you decide to
enter that contest?"

"Oh!"
I was surprised at his question. "Actually, yeah. I did. I
figured out a great story line for it and I've just been sketching
out the scenes. It's sort of half fantasy and half real life. I'm
calling it
Gamer Girl
and ..."

I trailed off.
What was wrong with me? Why was I babbling about my manga? As if he
cared what it was about. Sure, he asked, but he was probably just
being polite. And here I was rambling on and on like a total geek.
Stupid, Maddy, really stupid.

"Cool
title," Chad remarked, smiling at me. "So what's the story
line?"

"W-well,"
I stammered. I couldn't believe he actually sounded interested. "It's
about this girl who starts playing this video game and then gets
sucked into the virtual world. She, like, becomes her game character
and has to use her new powers to--"

"Maddy!"
Matt called out from down the aisle. I forgot

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that he was a
drama geek, too. I swallowed down my annoyance at the interruption.
After all, he had no idea of my crush on Chad or how long I'd wanted
to have a conversation with the guy. Still, he had the worst timing
ever!

"Hey,
Matt," I said, giving him a small wave. I turned back to Chad.
"So, yeah, she has to figure out how to get home and--"

"Did you
watch our scene?" Matt butted in again as he reached us. I
seriously wanted to kill him. "What did you think? Do you have
any interest in trying out? We're still casting a few of the minor
roles."

I shook my
head. "No way. I'm so not an actress." Something inside
reminded me about role-playing with Sir Leo, but I dismissed it. That
was different. In private and not in front of an audience. And in any
case, with my popularity level at Hannah Dustin, I'd probably get
rotten tomatoes thrown at me on opening night, even if I did manage
to give a Tony-worthy performance. "But, yeah, I thought you
guys rocked up there." I turned to Chad. "You were really
good," I told him.

Chad blushed,
staring down at his feet. "Thanks," he said. "I live
for this stuff."

I studied his
beautiful face. "You really like it, huh? Acting, I mean?"

He nodded.
"When I'm up there, onstage . . . it's just a powerful feeling,
you know? It's like I can be anyone." "I can see that. . .
."

"Have you
never been up onstage before?" Matt blurted

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out, obviously
still not getting that this was an A/B conversation and he should be
C'ing his way out of it. Grrr.

I thought about
it for a moment. "No, unless you count the time I was the baby
Jesus understudy my first Christmas. . . ."

Matt snorted.
"Um, no it doesn't count." He reached out and grabbed my
hand, dragging me away from Chad. "Come on. It's high time you
tried."

"Oh, no."
I dug my heels in. "No, no, no, no." One, I wanted to
finish my convo with Chad. And two, I had absolutely zero desire to
go up onstage in front of everyone.

He grinned
wickedly. "Come on. Just for a sec."

I sighed. I was
not going to win this fight. I could feel Chad's eyes on me as Matt
pulled me onstage. Great, not only would I be stuck up here with
Matt, but Chad would be watching my sure-to-be-pitiful performance.
How embarrassing.

"Um, now
what?" I asked, feeling lame and stupid. The lights blinded me
and I couldn't see out into the auditorium without squinting. At the
same time I could feel all the stares from the drama club members.
Probably wondering what Freak Girl would do next.

"Okay, so
you be Guenevere and I'll be Lancelot. I'm actually Chad's
understudy," Matt explained. He dropped his voice. "Even
though I'm so much better than him, you know."

Sure he was.
"Um, okay. But I don't really get what you want me to do."

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"Just
follow my lead." Matt grabbed my hands, then dropped to his
knees and looked up at me with his typical overdramatic flair.
"Genny," he cried. "I love you. God forgive me, but I
do," he recited.

Yuck. He was
terrible. And the lines sounded so different when they came from
Chad. With Chad I got tingles down to my toes--even sitting out in
the audience. Matt was less than a foot away and might as well be
reciting a grocery list for all he did for me.

"Come on,
Actress Girl, say your line!" Matt hissed up at me.

"Oh, ah."
I racked my brain, trying to remember Guene-vere's line. "Then
God forgive us both!" I muttered, worry fluttering through my
stomach as I remembered what came next.

Matt rose to
his feet. He wasn't going to kiss me, was he? I glanced offstage at
Chad, who was still watching me, a strange expression on his face. If
only he were up here, holding my hands, pressing his lips against
mine. I'd have been seeing rainbows and starbursts and fireworks for
sure!

But Matt? While
he seemed like a cool guy and had started to become a friend, he was
still so not my type. And the last thing I wanted to do was kiss him.

Luckily, it
appeared Matt wasn't all that comfortable locking lips with me
either. Instead, we both stared awkwardly at each other and I
wondered what we were supposed to do next. I was so over this acting
thing at this point (not that I was ever into it to begin with) and
wanted nothing more

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than to run
offstage and out of the auditorium altogether, never to return.

Or at least
hang out and continue my conversation with Chad.

A clapping and
wooting broke me out of my trance. Relieved, I jumped back, putting
as much space between Matt and me as possible. I looked out into the
audience to see who had interrupted us.

Ah, it was
Billy. Of course.

"Wow,
Matt. You're quite the actor," Billy said, walking slowly to the
stage, still clapping. "To make it look like you were actually
attracted to Freak Girl. That must take mad skills, man. I mean just
look at her! Are there any trolls in this play? She'd be perfect."

I could hear
the snickering from backstage from the rest of the actors. Oh, yes,
hardy-har-har. No one would possibly be attracted to me.

I waited a
beat, wondering if anyone (read: Chad) would stick up for me. Defend
my honor as the real Lancelot du Lac would have done for his lady
Guenevere.

But no. Heaven
forbid anyone in this godforsaken school should stand up to the great
and wonderful Billy Henderson. Chad might have been sweet and nice
and interested in my manga, but at the end of the day, he was still
as spineless as ever.

"I'm out
of here," I muttered, pushing past Matt and stomping offstage.
My face burned in fury and embarrassment. I was such an idiot. I
mean, what had I been thinking,

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going up
onstage like that? Was I really that much of a glutton for
punishment?

"Aw, where
are you going, Freak Girl!" Billy jeered.

I heard Matt
calling my name as I dodged props and lighting equipment, heading for
the backstage door, but I ignored him. All I wanted to do was get the
hell out as quickly as possible. I never should have invaded drama
club to begin with.

I retreated to
an empty classroom and sank down into a chair, head in my hands. This
was just what I needed to knock me back to Earth after what turned
out to be a pretty decent weekend, all things considered. Soon after
I'd sent Sir Leo my note, he'd logged into the game and we'd stayed
up way too late doing this quest where you had to collect ingredients
to make a special stew. Not the most exciting quest in the universe
and it involved a lot of brainless button mashing, but we'd made it
fun--chatting, joking, flirting throughout. When we'd finally
finished and sat eating our stews by the raging fire in the Elf Tree
Inn hearth, I looked up at the clock and was shocked to see it was
past midnight, real-life time. Time flew when you were adventuring
with Sir Leo.

But now the elf
princess had turned into a pumpkin. Prince Charming had faded into
the virtual night. Reality had set back in. I felt like crying, but I
was too proud to allow the tears to fall. I was so sick of being a
victim. Of letting Billy and the rest of them torment me and make my
life hell. If you'd have told me last year this was the person I'd

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become, I
probably wouldn't have believed you. And now, a year later, I could
barely remember the girl I used to be. The life I used to lead.
Hanging with friends, going to movies, trying on clothes, giggling
about boys. Being myself without worrying about being judged for it.
It was almost as if that were someone else's life. A movie I once
saw.

A janitor came
by and kicked me out of the classroom, so I wandered into the library
and sank down into a chair. I pulled out my sketchbook and looked
down at the picture of Sir Leo I'd drawn. Funny how he'd taken on a
lot of the physical characteristics of Chad. Beautiful but
unattainable Chad. I traced a finger over the character's face. If
only I could become like my heroine and get sucked into a video game
and meet a dashing knight. I'd be much happier in there than in the
real world, I was sure.

A girl I didn't
recognize entered the library. Redheaded, skinny, with a face full of
freckles. She sat down a few tables away near the door and I watched,
surprised, as she pulled a copy of
Sojo Beat
out of her book
bag and started poring over the stories inside. My eyes widened in
excitement. A fellow manga lover! Who would have thought they existed
at Hannah Dustin High? I wondered if I should go over and introduce
myself. Would she think that was weird?

I realized I
had to take a chance. Otherwise I was doomed to be friendless Freak
Girl for the rest of the year. So drawing in a breath, I rose from my
seat and walked over to her table. She looked up at me expectantly
and I suddenly felt

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awkward, not
sure what to say. Half of me wanted to run the other direction, but I
planted my feet firmly on the ground and forced myself to speak.

"Um, hi,"
I stammered. "I'm Maddy. I noticed you have the latest issue of
Sojo Beat.
I haven't gotten mine yet. How is it?"

"Oh, it's
so good," she exclaimed, her eyes shining. "There's an
awesome bonus Vampire Knight this month. I just love Vampire Knight,
don't you? Yuki is the coolest girl ever. I wish I could be her. Then
I could hang out with Kaname. How cool would that be?"

I laughed.
"Pretty much the coolest thing ever," I agreed. "He's
so dreamy."

"I'm
Sarah," she said, throwing me a grin. "I don't think I've
seen you around."

"I'm
Maddy. I just moved here a few months ago."

"Cool.
Where did you come from?"

"Boston."

"Oh, the
city. Nice. You must hate it here. It's so boring."

"It's
okay," I said with a shrug. Didn't want to come off like a
big-city snob to my potential new friend.

A car pulled up
outside the library doors and beeped. Sarah looked over and waved.
"That's my mom," she said apologetically as she gathered up
her books. "Gotta go. It was nice to meet you though. Always
looking for more manga fans."

"Are there
others?" I asked curiously. "Here at Hannah Dustin, I
mean."

"Oh, sure,
there's tons. Not everyone brings their books

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to school like
I do. But, yeah, there are lots of kids into it." The car
outside beeped again. "Okay, she's ready to kill me." She
laughed. "I'll catch you around."