Garden of the Moon (28 page)

She didn’t miss the emphasis he put on the word
here
. She was almost afraid to ask. Her pulse fluttered hard against her skin. “At Harrogate?”

“Yes, but also in my lifetime. Will you, Sara?”

“Sara?”

That was the first and only time he’d called her by that name. He knew who she was. He’d known all along.

“I know who you are. I also know that in here,” he laid his hand over her heart, “you are Maddy Grayson, the woman I have loved over many lifetimes.” He smiled. “You knew, too, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but—”

He stopped her with his lips. They were warm, loving, tender and insistent. He raised his head and gazed deeply into her eyes. “Will you stay with me?”

Remain with him in 1805? Could she? It would mean leaving her family, Julie and all her friends behind. It would mean…being with the man she loved more than life itself…forever. She knew someday she would have to face this moment.

The last words her father had spoken to her when she had left New Orleans rang through her memory.

I want more than anything for you to be happy. If Jonathan is what it takes, then you have my blessing. But I will miss you terribly, my darling daughter
.

A knot of profound sadness formed in her throat. Her father had known before she did what her decision would be. He knew that she wouldn’t save Jonathan only to leave him. He knew that her destiny was to be at Jonathan’s side wherever he might be. Were she honest with herself and given this chance, she too had known all along where she would chose to spend her lifetime.

She smiled up at him. “Your life is mine. I love you, and I would rather that bullet pierced my heart than leave you.”

Jonathan gathered her gently in his arms.

Maddy had finally come home.

But not for good. Not yet. There were still a few things Sara had to take care of before she could begin life with Jonathan as Madeline Grayson/Bradford.

“I must go back one more time, my love.” She glanced at the diary where it lay on the dresser. “Please, give me the diary.”

Jonathan left her side and retrieved the diary, and then brought it to her.

With his help, she sat up straighter, then laid the book on her lap and opened it to the back, to the pages that had always remained inaccessible to her…until now. The diary fell open under her fingers. There, tucked in the fold of the spine, was an envelope.
Miss Madeline Grayson
was written across the front.

Carefully, Sara opened the envelope and slid the paper from inside. Almost afraid of what she’d find, she unfolded it and read it aloud.

“
My dear, perfect sister,

Long ago you asked me why I was making Jonathan hold to the bargain Papa made with Mr. Bradford at our birth. Now that my time in this life grows short, I’m ready to give you my answer.

You. You were the reason.

You always had everything: Momma’s love, Papa’s admiration, the adoration of all the servants, men who came from miles around to worship at your feet. You left me nothing. Nothing but Jonathan and, when I saw you kissing him, I knew I didn’t even have him, not really. But I could. There was a way I could always have him for myself…a way that not even you could overcome.

When I read your diary and found that you were planning to elope on the eve of our wedding, I realized that Jonathan would always be yours and never mine. I was furious and knew I had to find a way to stop you. Then I caught Floree taking your note to him, the note telling him you’d meet him in the garden at Harrogate and that you were going to run away with him. I got Papa’s pistol and went to the garden to wait for him.

The fool arrived, satchel in hand, smiling and full of anticipation. All ready to run off to England with my little, besotted sister. I confronted him and told him he would have to make a choice between us. He chose you. So I killed him.

Yes, I know everyone thinks that poor lovesick fool Phillip did it. He was supposed to. He told me he would. But he showed up too late. However, like the simple, subservient, besotted fool that he is, he took the gun from me, along with the blame for having pulled the trigger. I didn’t dispute his claim. After all, if he wanted to go to prison for the sake of his “undying love” for me, who was I to deny him that right?

I did, however, miss his little gifts and attention. But that’s neither here nor there.

I have little time left. Before I go into death, it is important that you know I was the one who took away the person you loved more than life itself and even more important that you know that in this life or the next, Jonathan will never be yours.

Your sister,

Katherine Grayson
”

Sara folded the letter and tucked it back into the book. Despite all that had happened, she felt a deep abiding sorrow for Katherine. Her entire life had been based on a lie perpetuated by the very people who were supposed to love her, and her vengeance wad been fueled by a jealousy that was groundless. In her heart Sara was certain that Maddy had always accepted her as her sister and knowing the truth of Katherine’s conception wouldn’t have changed that. But no one had given them the chance to even develop the closeness and love that should exist between twin sisters—true or not.

Sara looked at Jonathan, his face blurred by her unshed tears. “I have to take this letter back to Clarice. It’s unfair for her to go on believing her son is a murderer.”

Jonathan nodded. “I understand. I would expect no less of you. But…You will come back?”

Still clutching the diary, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard and hungrily. Then she pulled back and smiled. “I have to come back. I have a wedding to attend.”

As the words left her lips, the room began to spin. The funnel of the colorful vortex opened and sucked her in.

***

“Well? Did you stop him from killing Jonathan?” When Sara arrived back at present day Harrogate, Julie sat on the edge of Sara’s bed. Hands folded in her lap, her face drawn with worry.

Sara nodded.

“Oh, my God!” Julie’s face went white. She covered her mouth with her hands. Sara followed the direction of her stare to the blood stained shoulder of her dress.

“I’m okay. It was just a surface wound. Jonathan bathed and dressed it.”

“Who?” The one word emerged choked, as though Julie couldn’t force any others from between her lips.

“Katherine. She shot Jonathan, not Phillip. He took the blame to keep her from going to prison. I saw her do it, and I heard Phillip tell her that she would not go to prison.” She raised the diary still clutched in her hand. “I also found the letter my father told me about in the back of this. It’s her confession to Maddy.”

“I don’t understand. Why didn’t you find it sooner?”

“I could never open the last pages in the book. I never understood why, but now, I have a feeling I wasn’t supposed to find it until now.”

“Why?”

“Perhaps because I needed to know everything before I read it. Perhaps Maddy needed to know everything before she could forgive Katherine.”

“And have you? Has she?”

For a moment Sara couldn’t answer. Then her heart told her. “Yes, I think both Jonathan and I can forgive her. Katherine was a victim of society and a woman who couldn’t find it in her heart not to blame a child for the father’s sins. Though, to the outside world, she was the daughter of Seth and Marie Grayson, to Marie she was a bastard, a daily reminder her of her husband’s betrayal. Had Marie raised her with the same love and attention she showered on Maddy, Katherine may have grown into a completely different person.”

Julie rose. “What now?”

“I have to take this letter to Clarice. She deserves to know the truth about her son.”

***

Cherry led Sara into the drawing room where Clarice sat in her usual chair, sipping lemonade. The older woman looked much frailer than she had the last time Sara had seen her. Her skin seemed more papery, her hair whiter, her wrinkles deeper, and her voice weaker. Another casualty of the Grayson’s deception.

“Sara, my dear. It’s good to see you.”

Since their last meeting, Clarice had changed in her attitude toward Sara. They weren’t close friends, but they were no longer enemies. This time, her smile told Sara she was genuinely happy to see her.

“What brings you to visit this old woman?”

“I have something you need to see.”

“Oh?” Clarice sat up straighter in her chair. “And what might that be? Not another mysterious piece of jewelry, I hope.” She smiled.

“No. No jewelry this time.” Sara hesitated, recalling the time when Clarice had told her the locket she was wearing had been buried with Maddy Grayson. Little had she known then what an adventure lay before her and what a wonderful prize awaited her at the end. “I brought you this.” She held out the yellowed envelope to the old woman.

Clarice took it, read the front of the envelope and then looked questioningly at Sara. “What is it?”

“It’s a letter from Katherine to Maddy that you should read.”

Clarice slipped the letter free of the envelope and then hesitated for a fraction of a second before she unfolded it. Sara watched her closely, waiting for the moment when Clarice discovered what she’d known all along…that her son was not a murderer.

As what she was reading penetrated her mind, Clarice’s bottom lip trembled. Then tears gathered in her brown eyes. “I knew it,” she muttered. “I knew my Phillip didn’t do it.”

Tears choked off Sara’s throat. She swallowed to clear them. Her hand trembled when she reached for Clarice’s. The old woman’s fingers closed around Sara’s, surprising her with the strength of the grip.

Clarice looked away from the letter and locked her watery gaze with Sara’s. “Now I can die happy. How can I ever thank you?”

“No need to thank me. Seeing your joy is thanks enough. And I wouldn’t plan on dying just yet.”

Once she was gone, history would change, and Phillip would be home where he belonged, and Clarice’s long held grief wouldn’t even be a memory because it will never have happened. But she couldn’t tell Clarice that.

“You’re very kind to me. I’m so sorry that I treated you so badly when we first met.”

“No need to apologize. I’m not sure but what I would have done the same in your stead.”

Clarice took Sara’s hand in hers. “I cannot imagine you ever being anything but sweet.” She tilted her head. “In that way, as well as in your looks, you remind me so very much of Maddy.”

Warmth spread through Sara. She smiled to herself. If only Clarice knew.

Sara stood. “I have to go.”

Clarice pushed her arthritic body from the chair with much more agility than Sara had ever seen her display before. “I always knew Katherine was evil, but I never suspected it was she and not my boy who killed Jonathan. I really had no idea who could have done it; I just knew it wasn’t Phillip.”

Sara took her hand and squeezed it gently. “Someone once told me that a mother’s heart always knows.”

Clarice nodded knowingly, her eyes bright and shining. “That it does. One day you’ll understand that, too.”

Sara hadn’t thought about children since her conversation with Julie the day Chloe’s daughter had given birth. But now she had to wonder if Jonathan would want children. Her cheeks warmed with the memory of his visit to her bed. A man with that much love to give couldn’t help but want children, and she would love them all equally.

“Goodbye, my dear. For the joy you’ve brought me this day, may your life be one filled with happiness and love.”

Sara kissed her wrinkled cheek. “I’m sure it will.”

She would miss Clarice.

Chapter 25

Back at Harrogate, Sara, eager to return to Jonathan, went straight to her bedroom. Sitting down at her desk, she put pen to paper. When she’d finished, she propped the letter up on the mantel just below the portraits of Maddy and Jonathan.

Then she went to lie down on the bed, the diary clutched in her hands. She opened it to the last page she’d read the night before that had taken her back to Brentwood and Maddy’s bedroom. She glanced at Jonathan’s dear face smiling down at her from his portrait. Soon, very soon, she’d be back in his arms for good.

Then she turned the page.

The next one was blank.

Sara’s heart sunk. She sat up and stared at the empty page. In the past she’d always read the text Maddy had written to propel her back in time. How could she do that if there was no text to read?

She turned more pages, hoping that Maddy had skipped some before she made her next entry. Blank page after blank page fluttered through her fingers. With each one, Sara’s heart sank a little lower. By the time she’d flipped the last page, the veil of despondency cloaking her was smothering.

Making her way downstairs, she found Julie in the library going over the plantation’s account books. She dropped the open diary on the desk in front of her.

Julie glanced at it, then at Sara. “What?”

“Look at the last pages.”

Julie leafed through the end of the book. “They’re blank.”

“Exactly.” For some strange totally illogical reason Sara had hoped against hope that Julie would see something she could not. That hope died with Julie’s statement. “I went back to Jonathan by reading what Maddy wrote. She has stopped entering anything into the book. The pages are blank. How can I get back to him now?” She realized she sounded frantic, but she felt frantic. Frantic, frightened and hopeless.

Julie laid aside her quill. “I don’t know.” She stood and came around the desk to Sara’s side. “I wish I could help, but I can’t put letters on the page for her.”

Sara opened her mouth to speak but stopped. Hope rose in her like the morning sun clearing a foggy horizon. “What did you say?”

Looking confused, Julie appeared to search her mind for what she’d said. “I can’t help you?”

“No, after that.”

She thought for a moment and then shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re asking for.”