Geist (29 page)

When I thought I was going to collapse, he picked me up and carried me back to the couch. Daniel moved as TC set me down and then sat with me. 

I wiped at my face, but didn't really care what I looked like. He took a napkin from the service and handed it to me. "You look awful," he said. 

"You look good," I managed as I blew my nose. "Being a Phantasm works for you." 

"Have you tried to become Wraith since you—" he began. 

I shook my head. "No. Haven't wanted to. I was hoping for some normal time, you know?" I understood why he asked me that. Was his being Phantasm going to have any influence on my ability to change? 

At that moment, I didn't care. 

I hated that they were all looking at me. The room was quiet except for the crack and pop of the fire. And my sniffling. 

I hate being a blubbering mess. 

"Will someone please tell me what the fuck happened?" I finally said. I sounded congested. "Why is Dags acting like we're old college buddies and not lovers?" I looked at TC because I didn't want to look at my mom. 

Tel came into the room at that minute with a bottle of Guinness. He paused at the door and looked at everyone. "Did you tell her?" 

"Tel—" my mom began. 

"Someone please!" I think I said it a bit louder than I intended. "When did this happen? Was it while I was in the hospital? Is it some weird effect of that page being in the Throne with me?" 

Tel set the bottle in front of me on the coffee table and stood by the open door. The sheers moved with the breeze. 

"We noticed it when he woke up. After the page was replaced." Jason said. He sat forward with his elbows on his knees. "He remembered events a bit different than the rest of us." 

"I don't understand." 

"Zoë," mom said. "Dags seems to have forgotten your relationship—not you. He has memories of you. But he doesn't remember ever being involved with you romantically." 

My jaw hit the floor. "How is this possible? Did...was it something I did? When I left did I take those memories with me? Was it my dad?" 

"We thought that at first," Daniel said. "None of us had an explanation. Even Rhonda seemed baffled." 

"Until Azrael contacted Nona," Tel said and pointed at TC. 

I looked at him. "Was it me? Did I somehow change those memories?" 

TC touched my shoulder. "No Zoë—I'm afraid his memories were
manipulated
."

"Manipulated?" 

"Yeah...and I didn't know it right away. In fact it was just before you woke up that I realized what happened and let Nona know. When the locum came into the Throne with me, I noticed something about it immediately. But at the time there was a Bulwark starting and well," he shrugged. "I didn't pay attention." 

I looked at each of them. "What are you saying?"

"When Rhonda wanted to take a peek at the
Grimoire
before handing over the locum," Joe said. "We think she actually took a page
out
of the book. Your page. Dags' memories of love for you." 

I put my hand to my mouth. 

Joe continued. "She wove in a spell to take only the memories Dags had of you romantically. She fused that page with the locum and handed it to me. I didn't know it at the time." 

"I realized something was wrong," TC said. "When I had memories of you I knew never happened. When I pulled the piece of paper back out I saw them. Dags' memories. Millions of words on that page with your name." 

"His memories of me..." I reached out to him. "Are in the Throne with you? You have to put them back in!" 

"Luv," and he took my hand. If my state of mind had been anywhere but where it was, I'd have noticed his behavior was odd. He was actually being
nice
. "I can't. The page disintegrated and became a part of the resonance." 

"We think she planned that too," Joe said. 

I was light headed. I didn't want to hear that. "No...no you have to put it back together again. You're the Phantasm now. You can do this. We were going to get married." 

Daniel stood and went to the window. 

"No, I can't. I've already tried." 

"Honey," mom said. "Even if he could reconstruct the page of his memories of you, Rhonda would never put them back. She has what she wanted. She has Dags."

"Can't someone else do it?"

Joe sighed. "No one else knows how—it's her spell." 

No.

No no. 

No no no no
nonononono
....

I stood up and ran into the coffee table and banged my shin. The beer toppled over and spilled onto the carpet. The pain just aggravated my already messed up feelings. It made me mad. 

No...it made me
furious
. 

I stumbled past it to the door. 

"Zoë!" Daniel moved quickly and stood between me and the door. "Please. Hear us out." 

"Hear you out?" I felt anger burn deep in my stomach. He looked so sad as he looked down at me. And when I looked into his eyes I saw the hurt reflected there. "You people knew she'd done this and yet she's still here? She manipulated that damn book again for her own gain and you
let
her!" 

"We didn't
let
her do anything. When we discovered what she'd done we confronted her. She didn't deny it. The truth is," Daniel's shoulders lowered. "The spell she wrote for that locum worked better than expected. The Ethereals can't even get into the Abysmal anymore without Azrael's permission. And they can't touch Dags either. The
Grimoire
can sense them now, even before he can see them. She made improvements." 

"And that makes it right?"

"No it doesn't," Mom said as she stood up and came around to stand by Daniel. "No one trusts her anymore. But we also don't have a choice. Rhonda's dangerous, Zoë. We have to allow her to stay here so we can keep an eye on her." 

I looked from her to Daniel. "She can't get away with this." 

"Zoë don't—" 

But it was too late for any warnings. I felt the shift and I welcomed it. I glanced down at my feet and hands and saw a difference. There were no more bunny slippers. No things of childhood. 

My feet were those of an ash colored lion, with claws that could kill. I unfurled my wings and shot straight up and sieved through the ceiling to the night sky. 

I looked down at the house and
knew
where she was. I could sense her magic. It was darkly tainted now. Something just going bad. Soured. Rotten. And she was alone. 

Diving back down, I went through the house down to the basement to a large room with shelves. I wove my way through them until I saw her bent over a table with a pen in her hand. 

I don't know if she just didn't sense me or she couldn't, but she didn't look up or try to defend herself as I tackled her from the side. We crashed into a set of the shelves. Books, parchment, ceramics and wood came down around us. 

I rolled her over onto her back and straddled her, my hands around her skinny little neck. She coughed and tried to get air. Her hands were on my wrists. 

"Give him back!"
I shrieked and as I touched her I could
feel
her life...and felt it feeding into me. 

"Zoë!" 

I froze but I didn't let go. The voice was comforting, but I didn't want to be lectured. "Go away Geist." 

"You can't do this," he said and I realized the voice was nearby and not in my head. He was in the room with me. I glanced to my right and saw him standing there. 

He wasn't Joe anymore. In fact he wasn't even a he. But a she. 

She...was me. 

Was this how TC wanted the Geist to look? 

"She stole him from me." 

"Yes she did," Geist said and abruptly became Joe. "And I helped her do it." 

That—

Wasn't what I expected to hear. 

I looked back at Geist and frowned. "You...you
helped
her?" 

Geist nodded. "Let her go, or you really will kill her." 

I didn't look at Rhonda as I released her and stood. Instead I faced Geist. "Why?"

"Because there were flaws within the Guardian that could result in weaknesses when his full power
could
be needed." 

"You helped weed out his feelings of love for me," I put a clawed hand to my chest. "You mean I'm a flaw? Our love was a
flaw
?"

"Rhonda pointed out to me how your union created a weakness between the two of you. Two powerful beings whose weakest link was each other. She merely offered up a solution that presented an acceptable outcome." 

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. 

"I had no idea you did that," TC's voice came from behind me. 

Rhonda rolled onto her hands and knees. She coughed and tried to breathe. 

Geist took a step toward me. I stepped back. He frowned. "You are unhappy with me." 

"I hate you." 

"How can I remedy this? It makes me sad that you no longer enjoy my company. I did what was necessary; as  is my duty to do. There is a Bulwark beginning out there, Zoë. And we need your strength and his." 

"Give him back to me." 

"I am afraid that is impossible. I do not understand your animosity to me. I have done all that you asked." 

"What I wanted was a life with Dags. What you did was take it away for that selfish prick." And then I did turn and look at her. She was looking up at me, still hacking and coughing. "And
you
. You couldn't get it honestly so you had to use magic. You saw your chance when he and I were most vulnerable and took it. In the end, Rhonda Orly, you will lose. I banished you from my life once. I should have listened to my gut feeling. Do not ever expect me to help you again." 

I shot up then and moved through the floors, and through the ceiling, until I was high in the air. My tears turned to ice but that didn't stop them. 

I reared my head back and cried for the death of a life that had only been a dream. 

-47-

Manuel

I was sitting in one of the wicker chairs outside my mom's shop some time before dawn. I'd traveled all over the woods. Wailed. Cursed the world. Kicked over garbage cans. Scared the shit out of a few people. 

But in the end nothing was changed. 

I was just Zoë again. 

And I'd lost the one thing I'd dreamed of coming back for. 

Dags had been my reason to live. The memory of his love, of his touch, was part of what had pulled me through those months in the Throne. 

And he'd been taken away from me. 

I sensed him before I saw him. I was exhausted now, back to my regular self. I shivered in my sweats and hoodie. Barefoot 

He was in the house and turned the porch light on. 

"Why did you come here?" German accent. Very slight. 

"Because
they're
not here. And this is home." 

Manuel came around in front of me and sat in the chair beside mine. I looked over at him. He was freak'n adorable. Had to have been in his late teens when Morgan bonded with him. 

"You know..." he said and started rocking. "Love never dies—" 

"Save it. I'm not in the mood." 

"Jason and I were lovers once." 

Okay—I hadn't expected that. I heard the echo of his First Born. "You were? You...had a different host?" 

"Yes. Elizabeth. We met in World War II. Spent time in the field working in hospitals. He was the first man I ever truly loved." 

"But..." I looked over at Manuel. "You and Mephistopheles are brother and sister." 

"Not in the way you are familiar. There was no sexual bond that created us from the union of two physical beings," Morgan/Manuel said. "Our bond made Elizabeth's and Jason's attachment that much stronger. We had a happy life. Even in a time of war. And when the war was over—we made plans to spend time together. Just the two of us." 

I stopped rocking. "What happened?" 

Morgan/Manuel stopped rocking as well. "We were caught in a bomb blast. We pulled Jason to safety and gave him what blood Elizabeth had left." He turned to look at me. "It was what she wanted. I'd already chosen my new host—Manuel—so while I lay dying I called to him and he invited me in." 

I sniffled and turned my body in the chair to face him. "She gave her life to save his?" 

"Yes. Her last drops of blood. We buried Jason in a mine. He'd been so badly damaged he needed a time of sleep. So Manuel agreed to watch over him." 

"A time of sleep?"

"It's very rare. And is only available to the oldest of us. Mephistopheles is very strong. He was able to repair Jason's body as long as I brought them fresh blood every day. So we nursed him for twenty years." 

"Twenty years?" I sat forward. "Jesus." 

"And when he woke," he shrugged. "We parted ways." 

"Just like that?"

"Just like that." He smiled. "Zoë, I am Manuel now. And Manuel isn't Elizabeth. Jason accepted that. My point is that Elizabeth loved him with everything in her being. And I carry that love on with me." 

"And I'm supposed to just carry my love on with me? Morgan—his love for me is gone." 

"No. It's not. It's still very much alive." He smiled. "Inside of Azrael." 

I rubbed my face. "TC has it? I thought it disintegrated."

"It
integrated
. It's there. And Azrael will do everything he can to restore it to Dags." Manuel leaned his head to the side. "But there is another who loves you. Just as much and just as hard." 

"I know." 

"Don't discount him. He is loyal. And he will stand by you." He stood and straightened his hoodie. "I need to get going. Get some sleep." He reached down and took my hand. After he kissed the back of it he bowed. "You are Wraith, Zoë Martinique. You are protected and cherished by the Phantasm. You are the great-niece of Domas. The daughter of Nona Domas-Martinique. And you are very much loved." 

Epilogue

I stayed at the new compound during the physical therapy. Not that I really needed it, but I wanted to make mom happy. 

I did get a new condo though...decided to live near Little Five Points. So I bought in the same building as Joe. We were a floor away from each other. He and Daniel helped me move. It was December, three days before Christmas, and the air was crisp. I smelled burning leaves somewhere and the sky looked as if it rain was on its way.