Girl In The Woods (12 page)

He rubs his
temple and doesn’t reply. His indifference pisses me off. I would prefer it if
he got up, seized me and told me to shut up and punish me for my rudeness. I
don’t know how to handle it, so all I can do is get irate. At him and at myself
for being so naïve.

I change into
the dress I was wearing the night of my engagement party and rush out to the
woods. I don’t even say goodbye. It’s hard to run in this long, fluffy dress
but I do my best. And then it occurs to me. I have to know. I can’t leave like
this.

I stand above
him, with my arms crossed, angrier than ever.

“Why? Why am I
not supposed to love you?”

“Calista, just
go. Don’t behave like this. Is this what I taught you?”

I breathe in so
as to restrain myself and not slap him.

“Why don’t you
tell me the truth?” I shout. “Why are you such a coward? Is it so difficult to
tell me that you are not attracted to me? That I am just a burden you wish to
get rid of?”

Before I know
it, he gets up and grabs me by my arm. His angry eyes loom over me menacingly.

“You want to
know why? Because you drive me insane, Calista!”

“Wh…wh..at…?”

He pulls me
forcibly closer to his body.

“Don’t you
understand? I am mad about you. You make my blood boil whenever you are around
me. My passion for you is so excruciating that I can’t repress it.”

I remain with an
open mouth and blurry eyes. A sweet pain emerges in my lower belly.

“Then, why…why
do you want me to go?”

He tightens his
grip around my arm.

“Because I am a
wolf. You seem to forget that. I am a beast, Calista. A beast that could hurt
you. And I would never forgive myself if I did harm to you.”

“You would never
hurt me. I trust you.”

He snickers
bitterly.

“You trust me?
Baby…After all you have been through? You are so young and innocent. The other
day I smelled your blood and I couldn’t control myself.”

“But you did,
Conor. You had the chance to hurt me and you didn’t.”

“I could have
ripped your heart out, Calista,” he yells making my tears drip down my face. “I
was an animal, then. Only an animal, that driven by my passion for you, could
devour you without a second thought.”

“You wouldn’t…”
I say but I don’t know if I believe it myself.

“If I had killed
you, I would die, too. If you stay, you will be putting yourself in danger
constantly,”

“I’d rather live
with you in danger than live safe with another man.”

His eyes,
flooded with tears, roam around my face as if trying to capture every detail of
it. I brush my lips against his.

“No,” he stops
me. “Don’t. If you kiss me, I will not be able to let you go.”

“But, I love
you, Conor.”

We are both
crying and shuddering.

“Just go,” he
whispers.

He releases my
arm and bows his head. I suppose he doesn’t want to see me leave. I don’t like
goodbyes either, Conor. Holding my dress up, I run into the forest, towards my
way back home. Or what I thought was home.

Halfway through
the woods I collapse on my knees. My palms cover my face and I weep with fervid
sobs that convulse my whole being. No matter how much I cry, my pain can’t be
released. It’s consuming me.

I feel lost
without him. Where do I go? How can I resume my past life when I am not the
same person anymore? I did find what I was looking for and now I lost it for
good. How will I survive this pain? I am sure I won’t. How can I possibly go
on?

When I was a
little girl, the Mayor’s daughter died mysteriously. They said she was swept
away by the town’s river. However, I heard my parents whisper something about
her fiancé, who abandoned her and got engaged to another woman. I was
always prone to eavesdropping, but back then I didn’t understand what all this
meant. Now, I do. She committed suicide because she couldn’t stand living
without the man she loved.

I sob even
harder at the thought of killing myself. No. I can’t do it. My poor parents
lost me once. I can’t put them through such a torment all over again.
Abandoning them without an excuse was cruel enough. They don’t deserve such a
treatment. No parents do. They have been more than kind to me. They have
offered me everything I could ever want and I am pretty sure they would have
eventually respected my wish not to get married.

You have to
find courage, Calista. Do it for your parents.

Yes, but not now. Now, I just need to cry till my eyes bleed.

I cry so hard
that I am astonished when his arms envelop my body. I didn’t hear him
approaching. He has knelt behind me and yanks me close to him, kissing my
shoulder fervently.

“Don’t go!” he
says in a desperate tone, “I love you. I am being the most selfish man in the
world right now, but I need you, Calista. Please, stay. I will never hurt you.
I love you too much to harm you.”

I hug my body,
holding his arms firmly and turn my head backwards to meet his face.

“Conor…”

He kisses the
back of my neck, my cheek and then compels my head back, to kiss me avidly on
my lips. Oh, I have missed him so much.

“Will you stay?”
he asks.

“Of course, my
Lord.”

He lowers my
dress down my shoulders and continues his kissing path to my spine, sending me
to the stars.

“You just made
me the happiest man on the planet. Aren’t you afraid of me?”

“No, my Lord. I
trust you.”

I exhale a moan
as he keeps on kissing me. The pleasure makes it difficult for me to keep my
eyes open.

“I know you are
a good and caring man, even if you have been tough with me,” I go on panting,
“You have led me to places no one else would ever dare to show me.”

“Is that enough
for you, my baby? You are a lady…You deserve so much more than me. Than living
in a hut.”

“Conor, do you
think I care about where I live? Just as long as I am with you.”

“I knew it from
the first time I saw you, dancing like a nymph of the forest, that you were
different. You took my breath away. All the other girls were willing to learn
just like you, but no one could love me. They couldn’t abandon their wealth,
their servants and their diamonds for a guy like me.”

“It’s their loss
and my gain. So…you liked me from the beginning?”

“Oh, if you only
knew…When you escaped that morning, I was wretched to lose you. And I really
wanted to make you suffer for abandoning me. But you obeyed to everything, no
matter how degrading it was. And that only made my love for you grow stronger.
I still hate myself for tasting your blood and raping you. I wanted you to
leave, in order to protect you from my beastly side.”

“And I thought
you were distant because you were bored by me…”

“Calista, what
can I do to prove to you that I want you? That I belong to you just as much as
you belong to me?”

“Kiss me,” I
hesitantly order him.

“Oh, I will do
more than that,” he says temptingly. “I have missed you so much.”

He lifts my
dress and lowers my panties to my thighs. He takes me while we are both
kneeling, his hands outline my breasts, my buttocks, my hips, my belly and my
clit, leading me to ecstasy. He controls the rhythm of our erotic dance as
always and I relinquish myself to his knowledgeable guidance. His lips ignite
my flesh. His teeth bite delicately my lips, my back and my neck. Every time he
lifts me over his cock and glides me on it again, I feel him deeper, filling
me. It’s torturous, but it’s a pain I yearn. I need to feel him in the core of
my existence. So that no doubt regarding his love for me remains inside me. The
soreness that he will imprint on my body will be a testament to this moment we
make love. The moment we are one.

I spasm wildly to the most intense orgasm I have ever had until now,
bowing my body in front, helpless. He still thrusts in me until his
overpowering climax and crumples over me.

After we catch
our breath, we disentangle and lie on the ground cuddled. We are both too
exhausted to do anything else.

I can finally
caress his chest and explore his body freely. I look at him, smiling.

“What?” he asks.

“I love looking
at you. I know I haven’t asked for your permission, but I can’t help myself. I
could look at you forever.”

“You have earned
my permission, my baby. And the admiration is mutual. I could spend the rest of
my life gazing at your beautiful face.”

I blush and
lower my eyes.

“Calista…I want
to ask you something.”

“What?”

“I hope it’s not
too soon…But, well, since we both want to spend our lifetime looking at each
other...”

“What do you
mean?”

“There is a
ritual that binds a shapeshifter to a human. It has to be performed in the
presence of other shapeshifters. Would you like this?”

A grin is drawn
on my face.

“Are you asking
me to marry you, my Lord?”

“Something like
that. But I don’t know if you would want this. It’s a totally different ritual
from the one in your world.”

“How so? What do
we have to do?”

“I’m afraid I
can’t tell you. You will have to trust me on this one.”

“I do trust you,
my Lord.”

“Are you sure
you want to be bound to me, Calista? Do you want to be my wife?”

“Nothing would
make me happier.”

“Even if I am a
wolf who has nothing but a small hut by the lake? And even if I will always
demand your obedience and respect?”

“You already
have them and I offer them willingly, without you even asking for them. As for
the hut, it may be small, but I have had the most euphoric moments of my life
there.”

A beam of
satisfaction unfolds over his face.

“I am sure there will be more notable moments,” he whispers to my
ear and starts worshipping my body and soul once more.

No matter how
much I insist, he doesn’t reveal anything about the ritual. I am really
curious. He has only told me that there will be other couples of shapeshifters
who will be attending. Two of them have already come for dinner to get to know
them. They are really kind and down to earth. Nothing to do with the people of
my social status. I never got along with the nobles. So much judgment and
gossip is not my thing.

I am sad that my
parents won’t be attending my wedding. Then again, I don’t think they would be
so pleased to know their daughter is getting married to a poor wolf. Actually,
they would disown me if they ever found out about us. It would be a dishonor
for our family.

He has set the
date of the ritual three nights after he proposed. He has only told me that I
am to choose a beautiful dress from the ones in the closet and wear it. And
that whatever I am told I have to obey. Even weddings are a test in this forest.

Three girls
arrive early the afternoon of the wedding, so that they can help me prepare
myself. I protest saying I am capable of putting on a dress on my own. Conor
consoles me, confirming it is a part of the ritual.

It’s hard to
imagine that these girls turn into wolves. The one has scarlet hair and green
eyes. The other two have white hair like the snow and icy blue eyes. They are
extraordinarily beautiful and I wish I knew what they look like when they turn
into wolves. Why Conor didn’t fall in love for one of these girls? They are
like him.

Stop thinking
about other women, Calista. He loves you. He chose you. So, stop doubting your
worth and stand by him.

I have to wash
myself in the lake and then the girls help me get dressed and decorate my hair
with little white flowers. I didn’t want to break the tradition, even if this
isn’t a traditional wedding, so I decided on a white long dress – a different
one from my engagement dress. My emotions are scrambled. Of course I am beyond
cheerful for getting married to the man I love. On the other hand, I am worried
about the ritual…Not knowing what it involves is disconcerting. The absence of
my parents and my family doesn’t make it any easier for me either…

Conor is getting
ready outside with the help of the girls’ husbands. More people come, but in
the hut only women are allowed, so I don’t know how many will actually attend
and what they are preparing. There is a lot of noise outside, which only adds
to my uneasiness. I mean, there will be people I hardly know, that have the
ability to turn into wolves. A knot twists in my stomach. I can still run away…

Seriously,
Calista? Run from so many wolves? You didn’t even succeed in escaping from one.

Thankfully, I
didn’t.

The girls are
really kind with me. They try to satisfy my curiosity and calm my anxiety. Not
very successfully I have to admit, as they are not permitted to reveal details
about the ceremony that will follow. They soothe me however, affirming it will
be a gratifying and unforgettable experience.