Girl of Mine (13 page)

Luke took her hand in his and pressed his lips to it, his eyes searching her face.

In response, her breath ever so slightly whistled between her teeth.

“You’re cold. C’mon, I’ll warm you up,” he said.

Jill felt a moment of panic, wondering what he meant by that. As it turned out he meant hot chocolate and a blazing fire. They made themselves comfortable on the pillow laden hearth and Luke wrapped a blanket around them. The first sip of hot chocolate warmed her straight to the tip of her toes. She polished it off quickly and felt the last lingering remains of sleepiness vanish. Jill stared into the fire, feeling strangely refreshed and relaxed.

“Are you busy tonight?” Luke whispered as he stared into the amber flames.

“No.”

“Would you like to get together after my shift ends?”

“Yes, that would be nice.”

Luke set his mug down and wrapped one arm around her, lightly caressing her shoulder. “We slept the night away on hard planks of wood, something I would never willingly choose to do, yet I feel good. Like I just had the best night’s sleep of my life. How’d that happen?”

“I’m not sure, unless we’re both dreaming right now.”

“Don’t wake me up.”

Jill smiled. “My sentiments exactly.”

She rested her head on his shoulder. He turned and ran his lips over her forehead. Jill tilted her head up slightly and their eyes met and held for a brief moment. Silent communication passed between them, somehow signifying that they both knew exactly what they were doing, that they were both going in with their eyes wide open and knew what was happening between them. No doubts. No reservations. They were jumping in feet first. Both ready and willing. Without hesitation, their lips met in a kiss, equally as sweet and tender as the first, and appropriate to the early stage of their relationship. His lips were soft, simply moving over hers with a whisper of a caress. Absolute perfection.

When it was over, they smiled at each other. Words didn’t seem to be necessary between them. They both
knew
.

“Thanks for not falling asleep after that kiss. I think my ego would’ve been bruised.”

Jill guffawed. “I still can’t believe I felt comfortable enough to fall asleep in your arms.”

“There is that,” he agreed. “Major bonus points. I feel redeemed.”

This was their beginning. Jill knew something had started between them and it couldn’t be undone. In her heart, she knew she’d always look upon last night as one of the best nights of her life. Nothing would ever compare.

Magical moments can’t be forced or created. They just happen. That’s what makes them magical.

And that’s what was between them.

Pure magic.

Luke showed up at her door that evening in full uniform, his cruiser parked behind him at the curb, a crackling radio voice interrupting the airwaves.

“Hey Jill. I was in the neighborhood and . . .”

Now there’s an original line. But when a man was using it as an excuse to see her, she didn’t mind it at all.

“. . . I thought I’d check and make sure we were still on for tonight. I’m off in an hour.”

Jill felt herself blush. All day she’d warred with herself, wondering if Luke was really as amazing as she’d thought last night. Or had she been delusional? Everything was happening much too fast. Just the fact that he was stopping by to see if their date was still on told her he was wondering if last night had been real too. They were both second guessing themselves. Of course, they’d be foolish if they didn’t. In spite of their unbelievable night together, the truth was they were practically strangers.

Her eyes took him in from head to toe. He certainly filled out his uniform quite nicely. His shirt was tucked in precisely, and the leather from his belt and holster squeaked as he moved. He looked crisp and fit. Realizing that he knew she was checking him out, she concentrated on his face and didn’t let her eyes wander downwards again. It wasn’t easy. It felt weird to know they’d slept in each other’s arms all night and yet here they were, feeling shy and awkward.

It was nine p.m., awfully late for a date. “Sure, we can eat donuts together in your cruiser.” Jill cringed. If it was possible to take back her words, she would’ve gathered them up and tossed them out the window.

In spite of her lame joke, Luke threw his head back and laughed out loud.

Jill knew she was in trouble. Big trouble. She could fall for this guy. Hard and fast. Maybe she already had.

“Go ahead, keep the cop jokes coming. I can take it.”

“I’m done.”

“Going easy on me, huh?”

“For now.”

“See ya in an hour or so?”

“I’d like that.”

True to his word, Luke showed up an hour and a half later, dressed casually in jeans and a button up dress shirt, his truck parked at the curb. A whiff of aftershave met her senses and when he gave her a quick hug, she caught a hint of minty breath. She liked a man who cared about how he smelled.

Once in the truck, Luke flicked off his radio so they could talk. She liked that too. “What do you feel like eating?”

Due to the lateness of the hour, she said, “How about IHOP? I love pancakes for dinner.”

“IHOP it is. But I’ll get something else. I hate pancakes. I haven’t eaten them since I was twelve.”

“Guess I found your first fault.”

“Can you live with it?”

“I think I can overlook it for now.” Are you kidding? Who cares? “But I bet I could make them and change your mind.”

11

Luke and Jill
April 2003

Present Day

Jill had never made pancakes for Luke. It was just one more unmade memory to add to the list.

“Jill! Jill! You all right in there?”

Banging on the door forced Jill out of her reverie. Her fingers softly wandered over her lips and her tears mixed with the moisture from the shower and wandered down the drain.

“I’m fine, Luke.”

Insta-love was fairly unbelievable. Until it had happened to her. It made her wonder why it didn’t happen more often. How was it that people could take one look at each other and not
know
this was the person they were meant to be with? How did they not immediately recognize their other half, their missing piece, the part that made them whole? Why did it take so long to
know
?

She didn’t know. But she was grateful she’d recognized it when it finally came her way. And that the feeling had been mutual.

Realizing she’d taken much too long, Jill shook off thoughts from the past. She exited the shower and dressed. She placed her hair in a ponytail and opened the bathroom door to let out the steam. As she unzipped her make-up kit, she silently thanked her mother for including it in her suitcase. While brushing a light bronzer over her face, Luke entered. He sat on the bathroom counter, holding a freshly baked cinnamon roll. He sunk his teeth into the moist roll, then held it out and Jill took a nibble at the exact spot where he’d just taken a bite, the action making her feel ridiculously close to him.

“Mmmm, thanks.”

Luke picked up pieces from her make-up kit and studied them. He visibly shivered at the sight of the eyelash curler. He turned over her blush and read the name aloud, “Raunchy Rose.”

“That was my nickname in high school,” they both said in unison and chuckled at their own joke.

They sobered quickly when Luke said, “Ready?”

Jill nodded and they made their way into the kitchen. He handed her a plate filled with bacon, eggs, two cinnamon rolls, and a few slices of cantaloupe. They made fast work of breakfast and then settled in the sunroom, sitting across from each other. It was bright and cheery with floral couch cushions atop wicker furniture. It was a comforting room and Jill knew she needed all the comfort she could get.

“Sleep well?” Luke asked.

“Not really.”

“Yeah. Me neither.”

“It’s our wedding day.”

His face clouded. “Yes it is.”

“I was dreading this day. I even told
Chateau
I still couldn’t work this weekend, even though everyone knows the wedding was cancelled. I’d planned on submersing myself in a few tubs of
Ben and Jerry’s
and a package of
Oreos
. I didn’t know I’d be spending the day with you. Makes up for it, I guess.”

“In a strange way, it does. Not so depressing.”

Jill wondered why he would feel depressed over a day he had decided to cancel. Guess she was about to find out why. Oddly, she actually dreaded what he was about to say. How would this knowledge change their relationship? Or the way she looked upon him?

“You love me, Luke?”

He looked her directly in the eyes. “Yes.”

There was no hesitation. “Maybe I don’t need to know anything else. Maybe that’s all that matters.”

“Could you really live with that, Jill?”

He was right. “No, I guess not. It would drive me crazy. Eventually I’d beg you to tell me.”

“Exactly. I don’t want any secrets between us.”

Her heart softened. Surely everything was going to be fine. She felt sure of it.

Luke ran his hands through his hair, a habit made when his hair was longer. “I don’t really know where to begin.”

“Just start. I’m listening.”

He stared at the floor, gathering his thoughts. His mood turned somber and Jill mentally prepared herself. Whatever he was about to impart, it wasn’t easy to put into words.

“I’ve been dying to speak to you since I left. I panicked, knowing if I never returned home, you’d never know how much I love you. I couldn’t stand the idea of you going through your life thinking I never cared for you, that our marriage meant nothing to me. I didn’t want you to carry that hurt with you for the rest of your life.”

Even though his words touched her heart, she’d focused on only one portion—losing him. “Don’t say that. You
will
return home. You
will
.”

His expression grave, he nodded. “I don’t want anything to end between us. I
do
want you to wait for me, Jill. Absolutely, I do. I’m sorry if that’s selfish on my part.”

“No it’s not. It’s what I want too. My commitment to you doesn’t end just because you have to leave for a time.”

“I wasn’t able to get a pass until now or I would’ve been here sooner to save you from so much heartache. I guess I could’ve called, but this isn’t something you say over the phone or in a letter or in an email for that matter. I wanted to call and say, ‘Forget what I said. I love you. I’ll explain later.’ I figured I’d confuse you and you’d think I was a jerk, playing with your emotions. This is something I need to say in person, face to face. This was my first chance to get a pass and I got here just as fast as I could.”

Knowing Luke had been “dying” to speak to her to make things right between them made her heart swell.

“I made a promise to never tell anyone what I’m about to tell you and I’ve never broken that promise. Until now. I would’ve taken it to my grave, but my hand has been forced. If you’re gonna be my wife, you have every right to know. Actually, this conversation should’ve taken place a month ago.”

His eyes met hers, flashing with emotion.

“I took the coward’s way out, Jill. It seemed as if there wasn’t a right thing to do no matter which way I turned, so I simply took myself out of the situation. Too late, I realized I should’ve just told you the whole story right then and there. Together we could’ve faced it, I know that now. Instead I ran away. I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’m not sure you can. I’ll always regret that. I’m hoping we can move on from this and have a life together. But I know I made a huge mistake and I’ll understand if you want nothing to do with me. No hard feelings. At least you’ll know the truth. You’ll be able to let it go . . . and I’ll be able to live with myself. At least we’ll have that.”

Jill felt her heart drop into her stomach and wiped away a tear. He loved her and still wanted to marry her. She didn’t need more than that. What could possibly complicate their relationship?

“For you to understand my side of the story, I need to start at the very beginning, back to when Troy and I were just kids.”

“Troy?” she interrupted.
Please don’t let this be about jealousy. Please. Please.