Giving In: The Sandy Cove Series (Book 1) (28 page)

The kids in this school are crazy around the holidays. I guess they need a break as much as the teachers do, so they are getting a bit antsy, which in turn… So am I. Grading finals for this semester is exhausting. I’m looking forward to saying bye to Grayson Elders for a whole ten days.

Willow breezes into my classroom after a brief little knock.

“Hey. You up for some drinks after here at The Barn? My treat.”

She plops down in one of the desks across from me and kicks her heels off.

I tap my red pen on my desk.

“You better stick those back on. My next class will be here any minute and aren’t you supposed to be at lunch?”

She lets out a breath making her straight blonde bangs fly up off her forehead.

“I suppose but I really need to get out tonight. C’mon. What do you say?”

Her whiny tone makes me roll my eyes. I know she’s going to keep at me about this no matter what, but I still try.

“Wills, I haven’t bought a present yet. I still have to go pick up my shoes for Greta’s wedding, and I have not had a chance to get a Christmas tree or even hang a wreath on my door. The rest of my neighbors are all decorated outside with lights and those silly blowup Santas and my house looks like Scrooge lives there.”

She crinkles up her nose.

“Oh for the love of Pete! Why would you want one of those smelly things in your new place anyway. They’re messy and sticky, and… Well messy. Let’s just go get a few beers. I will go with you this weekend to get a tree and we can go shopping too.”

See, the woman will badger me and give me every reason in the book why or why not I should do something. I could go for a few cold ones though.

“Pleeaaseee, Harlow…” Again with the whining.

I put down the red pen, even though I have to finish these grades by the end of the day. I shake my head at Willow as she clasps her hands together, pleading with me to go to damn happy hour.

“You’re not going to give up are you?”

“Nope.”

“I figured as much.”

I stack my papers and rise out of my chair.

“Will you leave now if I say yes?”

She pops up from her seat, a huge smile plastered on her face.

“Abso-fuckin-lutely.”

I point at the door as she sticks her shoes back on.

“Fine. I’ll meet you at your car at four p.m. Now get out and go eat the mystery meat in the cafeteria.”

She practically skips out the door after blowing me a kiss.

The Barn is a bar in Princeton we’ve been coming to for years. Porter used to work here and still does when he’s home on break. Willow and I settle in a booth hidden from the bar area. I don’t intend on staying late. I just need to unwind.

I sip on my beer and Willow and I share some fries.

“So, how’s it going with the big guy?”

Obviously, talking about Cruz, I can’t help but to beam at her.

“Awesome. Just simply awesome.”

“I’m guessing all around. You know like side to side, up and down. Lots of up and down.”

She winks at me, and I choke a bit on my sip and laugh at her bluntness.

“Oh, come on, Har. It’s gotta be good, right? I mean looking the way he does and the way you do. I’m sorry but I wouldn’t mind being a fly on the wall to see some good old-fashioned hot fucking.”

“Willow Taylor. My God, do you have no shame?”

She ponders the question and munches on a fry.

“Um… Actually, no, I don’t.”

We laugh together and I ease back into the booth, kicking my heels off under the table.

“He’s fantastic, I will say that. But that’s all I’m going to say. Some things have to be left up to the imagination.”

She closes her eyes, sighs and rests her head in her hand as her elbow holds it up.

“Yea, imagination is good.” She looks dreamily at me and I do feel myself blush as I think about Cruz and what it feels like to make love to him. Passion is his middle name. It should be on his birth certificate or something.

“Wills? Are you ever not horned-up?”

She shakes her head. “No, not really. I’m in my sexual prime. Down there is buzzing twenty-four seven.” She points to her lady parts.

“Are you happy, Har?”

I nod, agreeing with her, but feeling the loneliness seep in.

“I am very happy. I miss him though. I didn’t think it would be this hard to be away from him. To have this long distance thing going on. I mean we talk every day and skype all the time, but it’s not the same.”

Willow finishes her beer and motions for the waitress to bring her another. She points to me as to ask if I need one.

“I’m good for now.”

“Do you love him, Har?”

“Yes. I do. I think I really do.”

“Do you think he loves you?”

Now there’s the question of the century. Does Raphael Cruz love me? Is he capable? Will he ever be capable?

“Does it feel the same with Cruz as it did with Knox?”

I chuckle at that thought.

“Not by a long shot. I was dumb and naïve. I’m wiser to it now. With Chad, I was in a constant state of worry. I knew that when he dropped me off for curfew he went off to some other girl. It happened all the time. I was just blind and didn’t see it for what it was.”

She points to me with a fry dangling from her fingers.

“Bullshit is what it was. He had you wrapped around his finger for so long. It was like you were in a trance or something. I tried to pull you out, but you weren’t having it.”

I know all this. She did try. She would tell me about his ‘extracurricular activities’, but I just didn’t listen or rather didn’t want to. We were the golden couple. The one that people envied. All the while it was a sham and I was the joke.

Hardy, har.

“Well, it’s all in the past. It is what it is. Telling Cruz what happened between us has helped me a lot. I’m only seeing Dr. Goldberg once a week now.”

She reaches over and pats my hand.

“I’m proud of you, Har. I really am. I have to give the dickcop some credit.”

“Oh, yea? What’s that?”

“He brought my best friend back to me, and for that I’ll be forever grateful.”

I was lost for a while, a long while. Withdrawing from my friends and pretending everything was fine on the outside with my family after it all happened. Willow stuck by me though. Good times or bad times, I know she’ll always be there.

We finish another beer and polish off the fries. We walk to our cars and before I get into mine Willow grabs me and hugs me.

“Har, you’re a lucky girl, you know that?”

I hug back not really understanding what she means. I look at her and search her face for the meaning of her statement.

“I mean, Har, you have finally found someone who makes you feel special, wanted and needed. Therefore you’re a lucky girl.” She releases me and smacks my butt as I get into my car.

“I’ll see you in the morning, unless you’re up late and can’t get up. You know you haven’t taken a sick day yet. Typical.”

She winks at me, gets in her car and drives away.

Why on earth would I take a sick day? I feel fine.

Driving home from The Barn through the streets of Princeton, I wonder what life would be like for me if I had gone through with my pregnancy. I’d have a baby to buy presents for, take him or her to see Santa and to wake up with on Christmas morning. Would Chad even have had anything to do with it? I’m guessing not. I’ve never really thought about what my life would have been like, especially this time of year. I really don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to be sad. What’s done is done and I’ll live with that guilt forever.

I turn down my street, my very festively decorated street and I’m searching for my dark, non-festive house… But I don’t see it. I drive a little farther down, slowly, and I stop in front of mine.

Lights.

Everywhere.

My whole house is outlined in bright colorful lights. The roof line, my windows, my tiny front porch. They’re everywhere. Plastic lit candy canes line my driveway and the small Japanese maple tree that sits in front of my house is adorned in the magical lights and decorated with the biggest Christmas balls I have ever seen. The four windows in the front have lighted wreaths hanging outside of them too. All I can do is stare at it. My jaw is actually dropped to the floor.

My dad sent someone over to do this, or maybe it was Craw.

I dial Daddy first. Picking up on the second ring he sounds so happy that it’s me calling.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Hi, Har! How are you sweetheart? So good to hear from you. What’s up?”

“Dad, did you send someone over to hang Christmas lights on my house?”

“No, honey I’m sorry I didn’t, but I feel bad now I hadn’t thought about that sooner.”

“No problem. Maybe Craw did it. I’ll give him a call.”

“Sweetie, you ok?”

“I’m fine, Dad.” He always knows when I’m a little down from the sound of my voice.

“Harlow Jeanne Hannum? Dad knows you all too well.”

I roll my eyes, but smile because he does know his daughter.

“I just miss Cruz, Dad. It’ll be another few weeks until we see each other. It’s hard.”

Dad sighs into the phone. “Sweetie, in all the years you were with Chad, you appeared happy… On the outside, but Mom and I knew you weren’t. I don’t really know what transpired between you two in order for you guys to breakup, nor do I want to know, that’s your business.”

Oh, Dad, if you only knew. You’d probably hate me, but you’ll never know.

“What I do know is that I’ve seen the light in your eyes return since you’ve been with Cruz. It’s a different look than you had with Chad. Maybe it has to do with the fact that you’re older, or maybe… No definitely, it’s because you’re in love with him.”

I blush because my dad is on the phone with me, and we are discussing my love life. Crazy, but sweet all at the same time. The most significant thing about this whole conversation is… He’s right. Cruz brought me back to life, albeit there may be some who tend to disagree. I am happy because he’s my savior.

“Wow. You’ve been doing your homework, haven’t you, Dad?”

He laughs in the phone. “No, it’s just a sharp observation that parents make. I created you, my dear, and I know more than you think. You’ll see someday when you have kids of your own.”

I bite my lip and hold back the tears because that is a reality that will never be.

“Maybe someday, Dad. Well, I’m going to go and find out who my Christmas fairy is.”

“Ok, sweetie. I’ll let you go. Oh and Har?”

“Yea, Dad?”

“I just wanted to say that I think Cruz is a lucky guy.”

I grin. “And why’s that?”

“He has you. I’ll talk to you later. I love you.”

Too late for holding back the tears. My dad’s words seem to have brought them out.

“I love you too, Daddy.”

I hang up and shut my car off. I get out and my foot immediately goes into a pile of slushy snow. I should’ve worn my boots, damn it.

I close the car door and marvel at the spectacular light show that’s before me. Someone actually took the time to do this for me.

It couldn’t be. He’s working a twelve hour shift.

Approaching my house slowly, I don’t see his car as I look around my street. It would be impossible for him to be here, right? I stick my key in the front door and turn the lock and walk into a winter wonderland and a hot cop.

“Merry two weeks before Christmas, Turnip.”

I wish someone was here to take a picture of my face. Because I never would want to forget the way I look right now.

“How’d you… When did you… What are you doing… “ The rest of my sentence goes out the window because Cruz engulfs me in a hug and plants his sweet and sexy lips on mine.

He smells like peppermint and chocolate chip cookies, and so does my house for that matter. When he pulls away from me, he strokes my freckles and smiles.

“Thank God you didn’t come home earlier. Willow did a good job.”

“Wait, what!?”

“I called Willow a few days ago. She told me you were a little sad and stressed about the holidays, so right now my Sergeant thinks I’m raging mad with the stomach flu and I can’t get my face out of the toilet.”

Willow’s a sneaky bitch, but I love her anyway.

“So that’s why she got me out tonight. What time did you get here?”

He takes my hand and leads me into my living room. Before me stands the grandest of Christmas trees decorated with Christmas balls in the colors of red, green and silver. It’s magnificent.

I really don’t know what to say. I just stare at it and its beautiful display of lights and pine smelling branches.

“I got here right before you left for the day. I just parked down the street away from the direction you take from work and went to work like the busy little elf I am.”

Cruz comes up behind me and wraps his large, strong arms around my body and places soft kisses from my earlobe down my neck.

“Do you like it, Turnip?”

I stammer for words because there aren’t enough to express to him how thankful and grateful I am for this.

“I… I just don’t know what to say. It’s so beautiful. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”

Cruz turns me around as we stand in front of his masterpiece. The glow from the tree lights illuminates his face, and I silently thank God for this, for him.