Glimmer (18 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Lukas

Perfection's grip on my hand is so tight the blood drains out of it each step we take away from the Rehabilitation Center toward the great room where our reception is being held. I don't want to say the words. Any words. Once I do, I don't think Perfection and her opinionated personality will be able to hold back.

High-pitched shrieks come to mind, and who knows what else, especially since she doesn't understand the half of it yet.

"You have to say something, Nobleman," she whispers as we walk down the long hallway. I know if she gets above a whisper everything will echo. I can't have that.

"What do you want me to say, Perfection?" I shake my head, puffing out my cheeks. My body is still reacting to what I did in the room with Humbleman Right, pulsing fast as the energy inside me realigns itself with the intense output, or rather, input. Of course, Perfection didn't see that.

"Are we really running away?" She whimpers as she walks, clutching tight to my arm.

"Not running away, more like, running for help."

When we make it to the doors of the great room we can hear the chorus of Vessels singing inside. It's a calming sound for both Perfection and me. She knows every word to these songs, same as I do. But it doesn't calm either of us, not now. Not when so much is happening on the other side of the Refuge. 

Not when so much is happening between her and I.

"Let's just do this reception, and then we can talk in our chamber, okay? I'm sorry."

"You needn't be sorry, you are my Nobleman, and I am your Vessel. For now and eternity." She says the last part with a steel edge to her voice as though she's pressing the message into my heart.

My Vessel.

We push open the door and are received by a room full of robed Humblemen and their Vessels. The room goes still as we enter, and when they see us, hands held and smiling, everyone bursts out in applause. I do what they're all waiting for, I lift my arms allowing my light to shine forth from me, filling the room with the calming energy of the white light.

It feels different though, as it's released from me. I can tell I'm depleted, the same way I am in the morning after a night handcuffed to my chair. Perfection is by my side, soaking up the rays from me in all her Noblelady glory. She appears unfazed as she looks at everyone in the room, they would never guess we just helped Basil escape, locked Humbleman Right in a room of darkness, and that other members of the fold are currently gathering supplies for our escape.

We make our way around, greeting everyone in the room one by one, they bow low for us, and I accept their hands, showing my appreciation for their benevolence to The Light. It's impossible to tell, as I walk through the room, who is on the side of the Councilmen, and who's working with Integrity, to reinstate the original doctrine. The doctrine that ordains me prophet.

"Nobleman, look." Perfection pulls on my robe, nodding her head towards the corner of the room.

Another guest has joined us for the reception. A guest I wasn't expecting, at all.

Integrity is here.

Lucy

The laboratory is fashioned out of a big red barn, discreetly tucked behind the house Layla and Ernie live in. As we walk up to it, Ernie warns me.

"My father Benjamin isn't friendly, so don't take him personally. Like I said before, he's a recluse, spent a lot of years out here alone. So don't be offended if he isn't generous with you."

I understand, better than they could imagine. Sixteen years in the compound taught me one thing, when people get obsessed with an idea, it's hard to shake. I think of my latex-gloved hands, the hazmat suits, and silently nod my head in understanding. But before we open the barn door I have to ask them a question that's been gnawing at me since I found out that this property was theirs before the blackout.

"Ernie and Layla, why did you join The Light? Why didn't you stay out here with your dad?" I can't help but think their choice to leave him alone for all those years contributed to his supposed intensity.

"We couldn't stay, Lucy. We had Charlie, he was just a year old, and I was pregnant with Lukas. I was willing to do anything for my children. The Light boasted a better chance of survival than staying at this farm, with no one but Ernie's dad to help.  I would do anything to save my boys." Layla's voice is fierce, wanting me to understand the ferocity in making that decision sixteen years ago.

"I get it. That's why my mom took me to The Light. She wanted me to live, at least have a chance. She would have done anything, just like you. You would have liked her."

Forgetting that I'm here to see the laboratory, I'm taken back to the fights I had with Mom about not having any choices, about not having any say. I always saw her determined to get what she wanted at any cost, and all that time she was just fighting for me to have the chance to live. A chance at life.

"Is your mom still at The Light?" Layla asks. "Yesterday Charlie said he took you both there."

"No. She's dead."

I turn away, not wanting to recount her last breath in my arms with these near strangers. I push open the door myself, realizing that if I'm going to make Mom's life account for something … anything … I can't let myself walk blindly into anything again. Whether I leave with Charlie, or stay here with them, it needs to be the right choice, the right chance. I know there are no guarantees, but there are opportunities. I need to take them while I have them. Just like Mom did, just like Layla did.

I need to take a chance at having a life.

Maybe helping Lukas's parents is that chance.

***

Inside, Benjamin is studiously sitting at a desk, grey hair frazzled much like Ernie's, and he's peering over an old book. It's a flashback to Forest and my dad in the study at the compound. Rereading the same books for years, hoping to find a clue they had previously missed. But Benjamin and Ernie and Layla are smarter then my compound family. They’re scientists, and brilliant ones at that. They invented the Energy Rooms at the Refuges, and this one here in the barn, too.

Benjamin looks over at us, but doesn't stand. He gives me a once over. I feel exposed, and then suddenly not good enough, as he turns back to his book once more.

I stand in front of a giant circle with a cage in the middle, big enough for a person, but it could hold something else, too, something larger. I'm careful not to touch anything, and keep my breath steady. I don't want to activate anything unintentionally.

Ernie begins explaining the science behind the machine, and I see wires going to the ceiling, just as they are at the Refuge. The machine itself looks very similar, and I tune Ernie out and try to take it in myself. I know exactly what this machine does.

It's no more advanced than the ones they built at The Light. Not that it isn't impressive -- it is. It appears to work the same way, only instead of a person in the middle of the cage, they would be hoping to find Excalibur's Sword in the Stone, or something as elusive and magical as that, that could be used as a charge.

"Have you built more? More machines so when you put your magic rock in the middle and charge the Headquarters, you can do the same somewhere else. So you can generate energy at the
Safe House
or another homestead?" I ask. It would be silly to spend all their life building a machine to power this Headquarter alone.

This question gets Benjamin's attention.

"Patience. You must practice patience. The world was not built in a day, but it was destroyed in a day."

I shiver head to toe. Honor's words when I arrived at The Light echo in my mind,
"
Gently, now, Vessels, our Nobleman did not enter this world the day it was created. He waited many years before His time came. Can you not wait as many days to understand your place in that world?"

My place in this world.

I look back at Benjamin in disgust. He avoids my question by dismissing me.

"Excuse me, but I was merely wondering what the bigger plan here was. I am here because of Lukas
, your grandson
. He and I are seeking a power source for The Light that can both save the innocent people there and at the same time free Lukas from his chains." Rolling my eyes, I walk away from him and his ideas, and head toward the door. He is no better than the Councilmen.

"Lucy, he just...." Ernie begins, defending his father.

"What?" I spin around, "What is he
just
?"

"Trying. We are just trying," Ernie finishes.

"All your trying and his trying have gotten Lukas nowhere! He's been at The Light for six years
alone
. That is a really long time to be trying." My eyes prick with tears. They have no idea how Lukas has felt all this time, the amount of weight resting on his shoulders. "You could have gone back for him, used your Coalition to help, but you've done nothing but rebuild the same machine you built sixteen years ago. The machine that has created a prisoner out of your son.
You
did this to him!
"
I throw my hands up in disgust. I feel a tingling inside, reaching toward my hand and know I have to run out of the barn, before they see me, before they see my light.

But there isn't time.

My hands are in the air when the light is released. The tingling that started in my right palm runs all the way down to my fingertips, wrapping around my fingers, pouring out a glimmering, bright green light in the poorly lit barn.

I gasp when I look at my other hand and realize it too holds light. The glimmer swirls around my both of hands and up the length of my arms. I pull my hands towards my face trying to understand, but knowing there is no way to understand this. What started as a small light in the center of my palm has grown to be so much more.

Layla shrieks, and jumps away as though my hands are going to hurt her. Benjamin runs over, knocking over a table on the way, wanting to get a better look at the miracle before him. They didn't see this coming. Maybe Benjamin would have been nicer to me if he'd known.

"I thought his light was white? Is this the light Lukas has?" Benjamin shouts at Ernie.

He shakes his head, "Lukas's light shines brighter, and is always on. Her light is different, just in her arms, and green. And it wasn't there a moment ago. Do you see that, Layla?"

I look at my hands, at the glimmering light swimming around me, it looks like shining emeralds, the same color as my eyes.

"Get her in the machine!" Benjamin cries at Ernie. "We have to try it before her light disappears!"

"Are you crazy?" I scream at him. "Get away from me!" Benjamin grabs at my arm. "Don't touch me!"

"But we have to try! It's for Lukas!" Layla cries at me.

But it isn't for Lukas. None of this is. This is for them, their own personal salvation. Their way of making sense in a world that is wrong, a world that is over.

Their obsession with power, energy -- with light -- has caused them to forget what matters.

"Get away from me," I scream, running for the door, just as Charlie runs in.

"Lucy, are you okay?" He shouts as he tries to take in what's happening in the barn. Benjamin has his hands on my arms, trying to force me into the machine, and I'm kicking at them trying to get free. They've lost all reason, but my mind is clearer than it's ever been.

"Get off of her, Grandfather!" He runs over and grabs Benjamin from behind, tugging him off of me, and they both land on the floor. Layla takes a few steps away from me, stepping back from the fight, and Ernie puts his hands in the air calling a ceasefire.

"Stop it! Both of you!" he yells.

My light still burns brightly, I look at my hands and arms again, knowing I'm changing.

Knowing everything is changing.

And knowing I need to get the hell out of here.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Lukas

As I walk across the room my body begins to emit an incredibly strong light. As though I'm amplified to the tenth degree. The Vessels and Humblemen at the reception gasp in wonder, bowing their heads at the marvelous glimmering light I radiate.

I don't quite understand why it is surging like this, now, and even Perfection steps away from me, in amazement. After a few minutes I realize it isn't fading. My mind goes back to Lucy. Always Lucy. Wondering if my light has grown for her, to help her. If she's in trouble.

I look back at Integrity standing across the room and swallow in anticipation. For what, I'm not sure, but I have a few ideas. That Integrity is here to challenge my plans. That he's here to challenge me.

"Stay here, Perfection," I whisper, I don't want her involved any more than necessary.

"No way, I'm not leaving your side." Her voice stays steady, and I know by her death grip on my arm she's trying to piece together the events that have taken place in her mind, I can tell by her steely eyes that what she's piecing, she doesn't like.

"Fine, you're right. I don't want to lose sight of you." Who knows what could happen to her with me guardian, there is no one in this room I trust.

We cross the room to Integrity, the gray in his hair and beard washes over him. His murky appearance discomforts me, and I'm glad my light is stronger, as I want to dissipate his gray.

"Nobleman. Perfection. I heard you had some problems at Refuge One, and that you requested immediate leave to return home. I wanted to confirm this myself." He bows his head generously towards me.

"How kind of you," I say through thinly veiled anger. "But we are fine, no need to trouble yourself with us. And the Councilmen, they were fine with your last minute trip?" I ask, wondering how he managed to get away. No one at Refuge Three seems to respect him much at all.

"You forget the power all Councilmen have, Nobleman. Even if I am not in the best of graces with Head Councilman Conviction, I am
still
a Councilman
."
His voice seems surer than it usually does, as if he has gained confidence since I saw him last.

"Of course you are. We must return to the party, everyone is being so gracious to us. So good to see you, Councilman Integrity." Perfection says this with a slight curtsy, showing her respect. She always seems to know the right way to smooth something over.

"Not so fast. I was thinking perhaps we could take a walk. To the Rehabilitation Center?" Integrity says, placing his hand on my arm, guiding me, not so gently, towards the door.

I know when to hold my tongue, and when to give in. A lifetime as the Nobleman has taught me that. Now is the time to rein myself back. I don't want to let my anger fester and cause another fire. Not now when we're so close to leaving.

We move as a pack of three and slip out the door. I don't want to cause suspicion … not that it matters at this point. Soon enough I'll be gone from the Refuges for a while, and no new energy will be streaming into their system. Within hours it will be clear that I'm gone.

Once in the hall, I face Integrity again. I have some things to say to him.

"I read your journal. Why would you think I would want to know that trash, the despicable way you view Vessels?" I unleash my words on him, not being able to wait any longer.

"You need to know my motives. Did you read the entire thing? Did you get to the end?"

"No, I'm done with it … with you. How could you think the dark rooms are the best things for anyone? For any of the Vessels? It's barbaric. If you're so committed to the original Light, why would you insist this is the way to holiness? Vessel Care told me she didn't think it was a good thing. No one does."

"You are too quick to assume things. Too quick to decide your opinion. You don't know the whole story, you don't know what things were like before the blackout." Integrity raises his finger, pointing it at me.

"What were they like?" Perfection asks, with seeming innocence. But she isn't innocent anymore, not after today. "I want to know, because I just saw the rooms here where disobedient Vessels are kept, and they were ... they were torture devices." Her eyes search his, but she doesn't back down. Pride swells through me as I see her take a stand, finally.

"The dark rooms are for the Vessels own good," Integrity says emphatically. "Without consequence, no one is accountable. The world was a harsh and cruel place before you were born. Betrayal, infidelity, and disloyalty were rampant. The Light was born to change all of that."

I shake my head. He has it all wrong. He supports a system that breaks people down, not lifts them up. The girls in the rooms at the Rehab Center are broken by this system. There must be a better way.

"There may be some things we disagree on now, but there are more we do agree on. We agree that Lucy is the key to infinite power, that together you are an unstoppable force. That together your harassed energy could change everything. And we agree you must find her and bring her back," Integrity precisely chosen words cut my anger in half. By bringing up the girl I love, the girl I've promised to climb mountains for, cross oceans for, sacrifice everything for, he knows I will follow him. It would be impossible for me to turn my back on Lucy.

Perfection draws back his last statement. She doesn't know how important Lucy is, why she is vital to The Light, to me. If I lose my power again, Lucy is the only one who can save me.

"Perfection, I can explain...."

"No. It's fine. I am fine." She cuts me off, with a finality I know I rarely execute. She makes me feel weak, because confidence in her choices is her greatest asset and my greatest flaw. "Just tell me what you need from me, Nobleman. I promised you my undying loyalty as your Vessel-mate and I have sworn to not disappoint. If you believe we need Lucy, we need Lucy. We can find her and bring her back."

I look at this beautiful girl, the girl who I don't love passionately, but has shown her devotion to me over and over again. She is unwavering in her faith.

"Thank you." I've never meant those words as much as I do right now.

"I know your plans with Basil and Grace. And that is fine and well, a bargaining chip if you will. Lucy will want to see those girls if she's going to consider returning on her own will."

"She has Timid with her, too."

"I know. I sent Timid to accompany her. Another piece of leverage for her return. Timid will hate the cruel world in comparison to what we have to offer her here at the Refuges. She's been ordered to make that clear to Lucy. That she needs to come home."

I recoil once more at Integrity. He had planned out Lucy's departure with Timid, and her return. If he has deliberately orchestrated these events, what else has he calculated?

"You seem confident in your plan for Lucy to return."

              "I am. The Light depends on it. I've told you this, we need you both to bring the fold back to what we once were. We need to take out the Councilmen, take out the greed and gluttonous behavior. Once the power changes back to where it belongs…." Integrity gives me a long look. "Then we have a chance. A chance at honoring the sacred texts of The Light."

The power back to where it belongs.

It's hard to argue with that. His plan fills me with purpose and a plan. I want purpose. I can sacrifice myself if it is for an honorable cause. The Light … the faith I've always disregarded because I felt myself a false prophet … perhaps there is more to it than I realized. More to it than I dreamed. Maybe it's just as Lucy believed the first days she arrived in the fold. That this faith is real.

She believed.

For the first time in my life, I feel as though I could believe too. Integrity's premeditated effort was for the greater good. All I've ever been working towards at The Light is the
greater good,
maybe it is my life's mission. And with Lucy by my side, it seems attainable. Noble even. And I am the Nobleman, after all.

"When do we leave?" I ask.

"As soon as you finish in the Energy Room."

I nod, solemnly. The future of all the people at the Refuge's is in my hands, in my body. I don't know how long it will take to find Lucy and return here. I need to give this Refuge everything I have before I go, to insure their energy supply while I'm gone.

"How long do you think I will have once I leave, before the Refuges will need my energy again? How long do you think they can go without my power?"  My greatest fear has always been causing the innocent people here to suffer. I can't let that happen.

"The Council will want to cover your absence to avoid chaos. A missing prophet would upset the very fiber of our fold. The easiest way to do that will be to say you are at a different Refuge. No one will know you aren't at their Refuge."

"But what is the time frame, did my parents ever...?"

"We can't know. You have never
not been
charging somewhere. But my calculation, based on Refuge usage, is one week, ten days at the maximum."

I nod in agreement. I've looked at the charts of how much energy I give each night, compared to how much is stored. We will be on a tight time frame, but anything is possible once I find Lucy again.

"Integrity, go back to the reception. Let them know I'm in the Energy Room and tell them I'll hold a special midnight service in the Haven. That is when we will escape -- everyone will be gathered waiting for me, and it will take a while for them to know we've gone."

"And me. What about me?" Perfection asks, faltering slightly. I've never asked her even once what she wants for her life. What she believes, who she trusts.

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to be with you. I'll go help Care prepare for our departure and try to get the gun without anyone noticing. I'll meet you back there when you're done."

"Of course," I say, because I don't know what other words to use. This girl has given her everything for me and she has no idea the length of which I've betrayed her. She'll know soon enough.

For now, I need to focus on this next part.

Getting to Lucy.

Then I can deal with telling my mate the truth.

That I love someone else.

Lucy

Charlie gets up from the floor where Benjamin has hurled him, grabs my hand, and we run to the big barn doors.

"Charlie, stop moving this instant!" Benjamin yells, this is the same man who minutes ago tried to wrestle him to the ground.

Charlie turns back to face him, standing in my bright green light, and shakes his head.

"You can't tell me what to do anymore," he shouts back. "All the work you've done for the Cowboy Coalition is worthless; everyone's done fighting because you've become obsessed over this machine. You haven't even been out to the
Safe House
in over a year. You lost all your support a long time ago."

"Are you telling me I've lost your support, too?" Benjamin asks.

"Completely. I'm leaving. And I'm not coming back unless that--" He points to the machine sitting in the middle of the room. "--is dismantled."

"Charlie, don't leave us, we need you. I've already lost one son." Layla pushes tears from her face, suddenly taking on the role of compassionate mother.

That last line is too much for me.

"But that's the thing, Layla," I say softly, my anger now gone and replaced with a heart full of sadness because she chose to never go back and fight for Lukas, that's all on her. Lukas has carried this weight for far too long. I'm okay with putting this burden on her back. "You could have put your effort, all this resource in finding a new energy source, to get Lukas back. The Coalition could have taken down The Light a long time ago. Instead you've obsessed over what you didn't have. As though energy is going to solve your problems."

"It isn't that simple to go fight The Light. You act like we haven't thought this through. We have!" Layla cries.

"Without energy we go back to the stone age, in minutes!" Ernie exclaims, reaching for my hands. I can tell he's not done with trying to get me in the machine. "Just do it once, to try it out. Don't you want to know if it works, what you are capable of?"

"I'd rather live in the stone age than live as a prisoner, or worse, have Lukas live as one!" I shout right back. I never had a chance to tell my father how I really felt, and in some small way it feels like I'm finally getting my turn. "All my life I keep running from one set of prison walls into the next. I'm done. I am not going into your machine,
ever
!"

I storm out of the barn with Charlie in step with me. I pull the heavy door shut, and grab the lock on the outside of the giant barn doors.

"What are you doing, Lucy?" Charlie asks.

"Our insurance policy. I don't want them to follow us." I smile, then place my hands on the locks, and watch as the lock forges tightly together, instantly. My hands hold more power the more I practice. It will take some work to get them out. As I pull them away from the door, I see my light begin to fade, as though evaporating in thin air.