Glimmer (5 page)

I don't want to give him any leverage over me, but I do need him to believe I'm working
with
him, not
against
him. There is too much at risk to say what I really think, tell him how I really feel. I have too much riding on this, Lucy of course, but also the protection of the Vessels and children here. If I go off the deep end now, I'll never have the chance to save them. And if I can't do that, what is the point of any of this?

"She was beautiful. That much is true," I say honestly before I derail once more. "But lots of Vessels are. Maybe she was just more willing, you know? Who knows what her life was like before she came to the Light? And besides, I knew if I wanted to be with her
like that
, she would have to be my Vessel-mate. But it's probably better she ran ... she wasn't all there, if you know what I mean." I know I'm insinuating a lot, but I can't have Conviction threaten me with her. I have to keep her safe.

"So what you're saying is the power outage was a fluke and this girl should have been put at Refuge Two with the rest of the mentally deranged. Your involvement with her was merely a sexual attraction?" 

"Exactly." I meet his eyes, without pause. Knowing in my heart she is everything but that. Knowing in my heart she is everything.

              "In that case, I know exactly what we need to do to remedy the situation."

              "What situation?"

              "The situation of you wanting to be intimate with a Vessel, this Refuge being under-powered to the point of an outage, and needing to avoid people asking questions about where that hussy of a girl Lucy went."

              I swallow, hard. Not wanting to hear what I know is coming next.

              "You need to be Bound to a Vessel."

CHAPTER FIVE

Lucy

A shiver runs down my spine even though I'm warm now with the blankets from Jax. It feels as though Lukas is with me. Is that crazy? Can he be here with me? It seems like he passed his energy to me when we kissed last night on the ledge before I escaped with Timid. As though a part of him is traveling through my veins, as if the light he gave me last night to keep us warm is the same warmth filling me now. I want to close my eyes to see the light within me, connecting me to him in some cosmic way. But I can't do that.

Not now.

Right now I need to figure out what Timid’s and my next move should be. We can't sit around in a jail all day, waiting to be questioned, while Lukas is working hard, fighting for his life and our freedom. I can't let him down.

Timid dips her fingers into the bowl of mush. She raises her hand to her mouth and eats nervously. This food is so different than the rations at the Refuge. She's always been well fed, even if she wasn't well cared for. Fresh cheese and produce at every meal, well-seasoned grains. It was the greatest luxury I've ever experienced. Such a far cry from the vanilla-soy-protein shakes I was raised on at the compound with Mom and Dad. But I would rather eat those flavorless shakes over this mush any day.

I look through the chain-link fencing at the people restlessly sitting around the campfire. Their eyes are heavy on us and it unnerves me. A group of people, tired and exhausted by the looks on their faces, walk through a gate in the circle of twenty trailers. It appears to be the only opening into the courtyard, besides the entrances to the trailers themselves. The heavy gate slams shut, and the last person latches it with a long metal chain. Everybody is locked in.

They are a group of five, and they all carry guns swung round their backs. They look like the cowboys that would come to the compound. Tough. Walking up to the group at the fire, one of them begins to talk. H's tall and lanky, but looks like he can get people to listen.

"We walked around for the last eight hours. There's nothing out there. I don't know what the hell Reagan thinks we're going to find."

He shakes his head, sitting down on a stump, clenching his hands. These people were the ones sent to patrol last night for other members of The Light.

"I'm done with his mission. If people are out there, I'll kill them when they get closer. We're running around on orders from the Headquarters, I don't even understand what the threat is."

"Cool it, Colton. The girls are in the courtyard, over there." Jax points to us. That makes Colton stand back up, and start walking over to the cell we're in.

"Not now, man. Wait for Reagan before you start asking questions. We're under orders from Headquarters to keep anyone from The Light safe. Don't do something stupid. We never seen anyone from The Light escape, these girls are valuable." Jax tries to stop him, pulling at his arm.

"I'm sick of other people’s orders, I didn't sign up for that!" He pushes Jax away and heads straight for us. "Tell me how you got here!" he hurls at me.

Timid grabs my hand, dropping her bowl to the ground. I swallow the bit of mush in my mouth and close my eyes, trying not to shake. I'm sick of forceful men telling me what to do, what to think, what to believe
. Concentrate, Lucy. What would Lukas do?
I steady myself, for Timid. She needs me. Lukas works hard every single day to protect others. I can do the same here.

I look at Colton and see his weakness. It's just like when I play a game of chess; I can see his next move. Reading him, I see he's tired of feeling like a puppet.

I sympathize with that. I've lived a life as a marionette, on a stage I had no part in creating. I stand, letting go of Timid's hand, and put my face against the cool metal fence. I push away all the thoughts of the past and the future and just focus on right now. Calming Colton down so he doesn't do something drastic. Like take our lives.

"I'm Lucy, Colton. And I don't want to fight you," I tell him calmly; with a sense of courage I've rarely felt. The naïve girl who left the compound, the one paralyzed by fear when watching her mother walk outside without a Hazmat suit, eating an apple and doing cartwheels in the grass, that girl is half-buried under the apple tree.

That girl is not here anymore.

That girl is dead.

A stronger girl has taken her place. Because that is the only choice left. Be brave or die. I don't want to end up like my mother.

"What do you want then? How did you get here?" He yells at me, his face crowded with fury. "I know you didn't get here on your own. That's impossible."

He looks me up and down, taking in my dirty hands and feet, tangled hair, dusty dress. But I know he sees something else when he looks at me. I know he does because I feel it too.

Strength.

And looking at him, I see tired eyes and greasy hair falling across his forehead; shoulders you can tell are only straight because he's using all his willpower to keep them up after a night patrolling for people who were never there. A flicker of fear crosses his face as he takes me in.

Lucky for him I know all about flickers, and I know all about fears. This boy can be my ally.

Sucking in a deep breath, my head wraps around what I want to say as fast as the words come spilling out. Telling the whole story will only confuse them. This explanation will work better, without revealing our whole truth.

"We came alone. I swear to you. We stole a boat and left last night. Things are dangerous at The Light. Charlie tried to warn me before I went there, but until they killed my mom, I didn't understand. I got scared I'd be next. So we ran away and came back looking for Charlie. He told me he'd help me."

"And you expect me to believe that?" Colton is up to the fence now, just inches from me. He shakes his head, as if disgusted with my explanation. "No one has ever escaped The Light. Ever. I have been here doing Reagan's dirty work long enough to know this is not something you could have done on your own. The water is too difficult to cross in that boat for starters, and the gasoline tank was bone dry, we looked. This isn't the whole truth and we all know it."

"I need to find Charlie," I whisper to Colton. "Help me."

His eyes lock with mine and he doesn't say no.

That might mean yes.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Reagan steps out of a baby blue trailer and into the courtyard. "Are you questioning a prisoner without me present?"

Colton steps away from the fence and me, turning to Reagan.

"I just walked around for eight hours in the woods, patrolling for you, while you slept in your trailer, probably drinking moonshine all night. I'm done doing your job, old man."

Reagan surveys the scene as he slowly, and with wobbly legs, makes his way past the fire pit. Steadying himself with the fence he stands squarely in front of Colton. He says, with a husky voice, "You best be packing your bags, boy. Come nightfall I don't want to see you here. This is not your
Safe House
anymore."

"Screw you." Colton takes a long look at me before walking away. He crosses the courtyard and opens a brown trailer, stepping inside. He holds the door open with his back turned, pausing.

My eyes dart, not knowing what he is waiting for. Then I see a girl, short brown hair and a fierce look on her face. She steps away from the fire and walks to the open door. She pulls the door shut and doesn't look back.

I don't know these people, what they might do next. I've never felt so far from home. Timid is crunched in a tight ball, tears brimming in her little blue eyes. I hoped Colton might be someone who could help us. But I was wrong. And I'm never wrong about those things.

"I'm coming back for you," Reagan says to me through the fence, reeking of something stale. "And I will find all your dirty secrets." He reaches for the metal flask on his hip, taking a swig, "And if you don't want to talk, I have ways to make you. Don't think you'll be as lucky as ol' Colton here. You aren't going anywhere." He walks back to his trailer, letting the door slam shut.

A strange quiet sets across the courtyard. Nobody moves or speaks. I want to shout, ask them what that was all about, but I know I can't. I can only watch and observe and try to find a way out of this trailer park.

If Charlie isn't here, I'm going to need to find him. Otherwise we should have just stayed with Lukas. And truly, that's where I wish I were right now. All the strength I mustered up to talk to Colton left when his trailer door shut and Reagan had him exiled.

It's hard to know what to do when, for your entire life, people have made decisions for you. It's hard to know when you should step out and take a chance, or when you should play it safe.

And as much as I want to step out, right now I'm not as strong as I want to believe I am.

Right now I feel like the light has been snuffed right out of me.

Lukas

No. Absolutely not.

We are back in the Council room, a place I despise. Charts and maps are tacked on the walls, detailing the plans the Refuge made using my extra gift of energy they thought they deserved. They believe me choosing Lucy as my mate ensured extra power to their Refuge, giving them access to more resources.

But Lucy is gone; something they have decided is pointless to discuss any further. And maybe it's safer not mentioning it ... but what they're asking of me now goes against every fiber of my being. I cannot be Bound to anyone besides her.

She is the one I love.

"Listen, Nobleman. This Refuge is already under duress, as we all saw last night. They need something to rejoice in. It is your responsibility!" Head Councilman Conviction shouts.

I shake my head no, sending Councilmen Discernment and Rely throwing their hands up in the air once more.

We have been round and around for the past two hours. I'm giving them a fight they weren't expecting. Before I met Lucy, I probably wouldn't have dug in my heels, but everything is different now.

I have something worth fighting for.

Disagreeing with the Council is not something I've ever done. I always felt the stakes were too high for me to battle them on any of the issues I had. But maybe I was always wrong. Maybe I've actually been weak when I thought I was resigned. Maybe there is very little difference between the two.

"I don't understand why you're forcing your prophet anyways. Doesn't that go against everything The Light believes?" It's a cheap pass I know, one that would maybe hold up if there were Vessels present. But there aren't. There never are. The Council just rolls their eyes at my words.

"Everyone, can we just discuss this, civilly?" Integrity speaks up for the first time in the meeting. He strokes his grey beard as he sits in the corner.

"If there is something you wanted to say, say it," Head Councilman Conviction challenges.

"Well, I do want to point out to everyone what the Sacred Text says about this important matter. I know you feel fine waxing on and on about what you want, Councilmen, but that is not what The Light says our role is. Lest you forget that we are workers for the Nobleman. We are Humbleman at His service."

The men in the room cross their arms, looking at Integrity with stony eyes. We all know that is what the Sacred Text says, but Integrity is the last one standing who acknowledges that doctrine. Every other man uses The Light as a catalyst for his personal agenda. Namely, control and power.

"The Sacred Text clearly states that the Nobleman has complete authority in choosing His partner. As the Councilmen, we must, and should want, to trust in His wisdom and innate knowledge." Integrity finishes speaking and I see the others growing frustrated at his choice of words.

But I couldn't be happier. I always hoped Integrity was a supporter. Lucy believed him to be pure and good. And he revealed that he is, indeed, not like the other men on the Council. He isn't corrupt and greedy.

My body exposes my feelings. I brighten the room as relief floods through me. Lucy will still be Bound to me one day.

"That being said," Integrity surprisingly continues, "I think we will need to keep the Nobleman here, for several weeks, if not months, if He is not wanting to be Bound with one of our Refuge's Vessel's. We wouldn't want to risk another outage, would we?" Integrity looks at me, through squinting eyes. "Besides we are owed his energy resource. We have plans of building a new wing on our Refuge."

The Councilmen nod in agreement.

"Of course He would need to stay. A month, minimum," Depend says. They are talking about me as though I am not in the room. A commodity to trade, to leverage. "We can't risk it. And besides, we were already promised the extra energy when that hussy Lucy and the Nobleman chose to be Bound. We shouldn't be penalized for her leaving!"

"I ... well ... of course I wouldn't want to leave ... but...." I stumble. I can't very well say to them that I need to leave this Refuge so I can free Basil and Grace and develop a new power source for the children here and find my parents and reunite with Lucy. It would be a bit wordy, not to mention a sure fire way to kill my plan.