Glimmer (10 page)

Taking away her Vessel-righteousness with a fake Binding and then leaving her for another. Leaving her for Lucy.

I wouldn't have thought I had it in me to be this cruel. Maybe I'm not as unlike Head Councilman Conviction as I'd like to believe.

I give her a plastered on smile, trying hard. Too hard. I wonder if anything will ever be easy.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Lucy

"Charlie!" My face breaks into a grin I couldn't hide even if I wanted to.

"Lucy? This is so not what I expected." He looks candidly at me, shaking his head in disbelief. His dark, shaggy hair is disheveled as he removes his cowboy hat and his face is full of color from the outdoors. He looks alive.

"You know each other?" Ernie says, confused. And he should be. I've walked into their home informing them I know both of their sons, while they know nothing of my existence.

"How did you get here? Did you go to the
Safe House
? Is your mom with you? How did you escape?" His questions barrel into the room and before I can begin answering, Layla steps in.

"Charlie. Why don't you first, after you take off those filthy boots, come sit down and tell us how you know Lucy. Then we are going to get to those questions right, Lucy?" She looks at me pointedly, as though she thinks I'm intending to hold back. 

              "Yes, Mom." Charlie quickly slips off this boots and sits down on the chair opposite me. He stares at me with his brilliant blue eyes. I am unnerved.

"A month or so ago I was out on my horse, scouring for signals. Remember, I went alone to try and find an energy read you'd found? You sent coordinates over to the
Safe House
and I left right away. Just like you ordered. I never found what Dad had picked up, remember this debriefing we had?"

Ernie nods.

"Well, on my way back to the Safe House I was on the waterfront in Bremerton and I stopped with Lucky to rest, and Lucy and her mom were in trouble. Like, it was really bad. I got them away, safely, and helped them."

I noticed he leaves out the part where he shot four men in order for Mom and me to escape.

"What do you mean you helped them? And, Lucy, you were only at the Light for a month? This makes no sense."

"I didn't tell you before because you won't like what I did. I helped Lucy and her mom to the dock by the
Safe House
, I helped them get to The Light." He looks at his hands, feet, the ceiling. Anywhere but the couch his parents are sitting on.

"Why in the world would you do that? Are you trying to destroy everything we've spent the last six years working to accomplish? And then not tell us?" Layla is pissed. She stands over Charlie, pointing her finger at him. Guilt washes over me, coming here is the reason his parents are mad.

"Whatever," Charlie scoffs dismissively. "You know what? You and dad have spent years unable to get over how someone else told you how to live your life. I wasn't about to start telling people how to live theirs." He throws up his hands irritated. "But somehow, once again I've screwed up. Why, because I let two people choose their own life? I'm not the bad guy here."

"No one is saying you're the bad guy, but you did allow two vulnerable people to walk into the hands of monsters. You've heard our stories about the twisted ways women are treated there. I'm sure Lucy has tons of horror stories to share of her own, or she wouldn't have left," Ernie says, looking at me.

But I can't answer because doing so will make Charlie feel worse. My horror story starts with dark rooms and battered bodies and broken spirits. It ends with Mom taking her last breath in my arms. It continues with Basil and Hana-Grace being locked up because of our cowardice.

I've not even been here an hour, no way am I ready to tell them all the things I've seen.

Still, I can tell them apart.

"Listen. I'm grateful for Charlie's ability to let us choose our own path, even if our choice was a foolish one, because it brought me to Lukas. And that is the real,
the only
, reason I'm here. To talk about him. So can we?"

Charlie looks at me, and something shifts in him. His shoulders flinch ever so slightly, and the color in his face fades, softly. I've hurt him, but I don't know how.

I spend the next hour talking more than I probably ever have in my life. I explain much of the same things I told Junie and Colton last night under the cedar tree -- except for the part about my hand holding glimmers of light -- and the part about being the reason Lukas was healed the night he nearly died. I leave out the reason for the power outage, and instead focus on the fact that it happened, and that Lukas is being run ragged. That The Light is going to continue plugging him in until he dies.  I tell them they need to figure out a way to safely harness his energy to keep the place running, but allowing him the freedom to leave.

Layla ignores my plea, and focuses instead on me.

"Lucy, how did you get so much information on The Light and on Lukas? Usually new Vessels are taken away to learn menial jobs. Even Vessel's who've lived their entire lives at the Refuges would never have access to this sort of knowledge. How did you do it?"

I know how to answer that, as much as I've ever known anything. And as scary as it is to acknowledge the truth of my heart to strangers, they are also the family of the boy I love.

"Lukas and I were going to be Bound, and I wasn't going to just be his Vessel-mate. We're in love."

Lukas

Refuge One is lit up in a way I've never seen. It makes me wonder what the Councilman thought of Lucy’s and my proclamation of love, and our desire to be Bound. I don't think anyone took it seriously because there was no fanfare then, no call to the Head Councilman to tell him about it. It's as though they believed it all to be a silly rebellion on my part. Nothing more.

They've created a wonderland for Perfection. As we walk off the boat and are led into the great hallway, Vessels are lined up everywhere, standing along the entire length of the hallway. There are twice as many Vessels here as at Refuge Three. They sing the traditional hymns the people of The Light have sung since they began to gather together.

My mind returns to Integrity and his words in the Energy Room. I try and imagine this Refuge back in the day, when the focus was on love, not power and greed. It makes me feel better thinking of The Light's humble beginnings. Going into the Binding ceremony charade is so fake, but some parts, according to Integrity, are very real.

Perfection changed into a new gown before we disembarked the boat. She's by my side in bright white, with white cording around her waist just like mine. It sets her apart
, us apart
,
because the other Vessels and Humblemen wear blue or golden belts. Her hair, nearly white, is flowing down her back. She does look the part.

Thinking that makes my heart ache, it would kill Lucy to know I have these thoughts, but it's honest. Lucy's a rebel in ways Perfection is not. A subservient Vessel is something Lucy will never be, but Perfection fills this role, well, perfectly.

We're led into the great room, a space much like the one at Refuge Three, only grander and more elaborate. Head Councilman Conviction follows us in, and four of his Vessels are in the room waiting for him. He accepts the hands of each one, while they bow to him. Perfection takes it all in with a glazed look on her face. She's in Heaven, this is what she's waited her entire life for.

We sit and the Councilmen from this Refuge join us, each with one Vessel-mate by their side, and introductions go around as they meet Perfection. Vessel-helpers carrying trays of elaborate pastries, coffee, fresh squeezed orange juice, nearly trip over themselves to serve me with as much honor as possible. 

"Is the food like this at Refuge Three, Perfection?" asks Conviction's Vessel Certainty.

"Similar, yes, but these are very fine indeed." The words cascade from her mouth elegantly and I find myself once again thinking of Lucy. How she stumbles to speak, how she's often at a loss for words. I'm ashamed to be comparing them, but I am. They are so completely different, no wonder they fought.

"After you've a chance to nourish yourselves," Vessel Certainty continues. "I will take you to your Chamber. As the Noblelady of The Light you'll have your own quarters, and a staff of helpers, of course." She smiles sweetly, but I can't help but wonder what is behind those eyes. She can't be more than a few years older than Perfection herself. How does she feel about living with a man more than twice her age, bearing his children, being his bride.

"And when is the Binding Ceremony?" I ask, ready to get this over with and move on by literally leaving this Refuge and finding Basil and returning to Lucy.

"This afternoon. After the ceremony there will be a feast, followed by a procession leading you to your Binding Night," Conviction explains.

I look around, uncomfortable. This isn't something I've ever wanted to talk about.

Conviction continues, "It isn't a precession we have for all Binding Ceremonies, of course, but it is an extra part to the Nobleman's ceremony, to honor our prophet and his chosen Vessel. Or should I say, ceremonies. You are, of course planning on having many more Binding ceremonies in the years to come, aren't you?"

I swallow. I know I have the exemption to only have one mate if I choose, but I can't very well tell the room of Vessel's around me that the practice is barbaric. But more than that, I love Lucy. I wouldn't share her with anyone. I don't know what to say without sounding like an ass so I blow air out my cheeks instead.

Perfection chimes in as she sees me stumble for words, "Of course we are. We hope our Fold can continue to multiply and we, as the Nobility for The Light, will do everything within our power to make that happen."

The room is filled with claps and "Ahh's" and "Ohhh's" at her speech. Her words are milk and honey to everyone listening, they lap it up.

We leave for our own Chambers to rest and prepare for the ceremony and I'm anxious to lie down. Thinking about the ceremony and the procession that follows, turns my stomach.

Conviction stops me on my way out, and says, "That Vessel you chose sure knows how to hold everyone's attention."

"What do you mean?" I ask protectively.

"You know what I mean. I have no doubt this tense mood and lowbrow attitude you've been walking around with the past twenty-four hours will disappear by morning. You're in for a good night, my son." He winks at me before walking away.

I hold my tongue and my anger. I want to spit in his face, yell in his ears. I want him to know Integrity told me everything, but of course, doing that would be telling him that my family is still alive. And I can't let him know that, he'd track them down himself if he knew they were still alive and well and part of a rebellion.

Later, as lie in bed trying to nap, I'm too distracted to let my eyes rest. Instead of spending the day tossing and turning, I unpack the bag I brought from Refuge Three.

I take my toiletries to my bathroom and contemplate a shower, but I don't have the energy for that right now. I wish I could talk with Lucy and explain that this Binding is happening
, why
it's happening
.

I hang up my tunics and trousers in the closet next to my Binding ceremony clothes, an impressive white robe, lined with slippery white silk. It is the finest thing I own. I shut the closet door, and sit on the bed next to my bag.

The massive room has a canopied bed and thick curtains, heavy as my heart. Knowing that I'll be coming back here with Perfection makes me sick. I need to figure out what I'll say to her tonight when she comes back with me full of expectation and desire. The words, “Sorry, I'm actually just faking this
,
”
doesn't sound right. 

I open up the bag wider and see a small journal buried at the bottom under my extra moccasins. Pulling it out, a blank cover conceals the pages inside. Opening to the first page I see small, sharp, handwriting,

Lukas,

              I wanted you to have some of the notes I took after my meeting Lucy. I know she's the Vessel of your heart, and one day soon, I hope you will both return to The Light and restore us back as the people of Truth and Love that we once were.

We are not the enemy. The desires that pull us into Darkness are the enemies we must battle every day. We have been able to do that with your gift of light, but perhaps we've been looking at it all wrong since the day you were born. Maybe there is more meaning to the prophecy then we realized.

Your light cannot deny itself what it was created for. That is why your light has always shone so brightly, it was tapped into.

In Light,

H. Integrity

              I sit with the diary in my hands, looking at the words from Integrity, wondering what he means. I wish, more than anything that the weight of so many people wasn't crushing down on my shoulders. I can't bear the magnitude.

I flip to the next page, but before I can read any further, there's a knock on my door. Conviction is here to take me to the ceremony.

"Coming," I shout, jumping off the bed and cramming the booklet back in my bag. I grab my clothes to dress in the bathroom and toss the bag deep into the closet, locking it with the flick of my hand. Conviction walks into my chamber and speaks through the closed door.