Glimpse (20 page)

Mrs. Adams snorted.  “I bet she didn’t.” She turned to look at him.

He shook his head. “It’s ridiculous, you should have seen them. They were so happy to be together that I don’t think they even realized what it was going to do to us, to the kids.” He clenched his jaw. “It just makes me furious. I trusted her and she what?  Thought of me as good enough?  A nice person?  That my being a pastor would make me more understanding?  Because it doesn’t.  If anything it’s…goddamned embarrassing, that’s what it is.” He released Mrs. Adams from the tight grip he had on her knee. “Sorry, didn’t mean to crush you.”

“
It’s fine.  Nice to know that you actually have some balls, Pastor Paul.” She picked up her carnations and stood.  “Want to join me for dinner?  It’s Salisbury steak.”

“
That would be great.” He got up from the couch and grabbed his jacket. “Shall we drown our sorrows in gravy?”

“
Amen.” Mrs. Adams said.

My eyes shot open and I ran to the bathroom.  This time I did barf.

Mom was going to have a
baby
?  Great.  So, now I didn’t have to break the news to my dad that my mom was cheating on him with a ghost, I just had to tell Melody that she wasn’t going to be the youngest anymore.  I didn’t know which was worse.

I wiped my face with a wet washcloth and looked in the mirror.  My reflection made me burst into tears, I hadn’t been aware of how worn out I looked.  I shouldn’t look like this; there shouldn’t be bags under my eyes and creases in my forehead from worrying and keeping secrets.  I was sixteen, not forty-six.  I thought about what Dad had said about Avery
, it’s not his responsibility
. Well, it wasn’t mine either.  Let the grown-ups sort their own messes out, all I wanted to concentrate on was getting my boyfriend back and tomorrow, God and glimpse willing, I would get my chance.

Rosedell looked different somehow.  Smaller.  Quieter. Maybe it was only through my eyes.  I had changed so much, how could it have looked the same?

I twisted toward Claire and Melody in the backseat of the Beemer.  “Does it look different here to you?”

Claire shrugged.  “Not really.”

Melody didn’t bother looking up from her video game.  “Nope.”

I turned back around, staring out the front window.  “Grandma, I’m nervous that things are not going to go the way that you saw them.” I had tried to get another glimpse for myself, but all I’d conjured up was the family room with no one in it. 

She reached over and took my hand.  I closed my eyes and sped through her glimpse, pausing on Mom’s reaction to seeing her mother in the flesh.

Grandma squeezed my hand.  “You let me deal with Grace.”

I paused ever so slightly on Avery’s expression. I didn’t really want Grandma seeing that.  I let go of her hand.

She chuckled.

“Zel’s thinking about Avery again, isn’t she?”  Claire chimed in.

Grandma nodded her head.

We drove through downtown, stopping every twenty feet for a crosswalk. Flyers for the upcoming rodeo hung in all of the storefronts except Adams Insurance.  A lot of people were out.

In the summer Rosedell got plenty of tourists.  They stayed out at the lodge, played golf, and came into town for local color, cheap t-shirts, and ice cream at the Hitchin’Post.

I grinned when the top scoop of vanilla slid off of a little girl’s cone and plopped onto the sidewalk.   As we stopped to let people cross the street, just to see if I could, I rewound it back in place. It worked.  Already getting better the closer I got to Avery. The little girl looked confused for a second and then carried on eating her ice cream.

We all groaned when passing the school.

“I went there too, you know,” Grandma said.  “It hasn’t changed at all.”

“Sad, isn’t it?” Melody quipped.

Grandma turned onto our street.  Everyone took a deep breath. She pulled into the driveway and parked. We all got out.  “You can get your bags later girls, I don’t know about you, but I’m anxious to get this over with.”

Melody went up the front steps first and opened the door.

Mom was sitting in her overstuffed green chair.  Avery and Dad sat on opposite ends of the couch. Dad rushed to meet us as soon as Melody entered the room.  He grabbed Melody and I and even Claire into a bear hug.

“I’m so glad you’re back!  I’ve missed you girls so much.  I don’t think we’ve ever been away from each other for this long.”  He held me at arms length to look at my face and then wrapped me in his arms again.

My heart felt like it was going to explode with happiness.  My daddy loved me again! Maybe things were gonna go okay after all.

“We missed you too, Dad,” Melody said, grabbing Grandma and pushing her towards him. “This is Grandma Rachel.”

That settled him down.  He shook her hand quickly and then gestured for her to go over to Mom. “I’m sure you two have a lot to catch up on.”

Mom rose from her chair, tears visible in her eyes.  Grandma reached out to her, cupping her face in her hands.  “Hi, Gracie.”

“Hi.” Mom took her mother’s hands from her face and held them in her own.  The tears were coming at full force now. “I don’t know if I can do this!” She ran from the room, Grandma hurried after her.

I looked away from them to Avery. He must be really uncomfortable witnessing all of this. But he wasn’t. He was looking at me, a wistful smile on his face.  My heart jumped a little.  Okay, a lot.

Dad spoke up.  “Zellie, how do you want to do this?  You’ve got the room.  I want to hear whatever you have to say, I think Avery does too.”

I chewed at my bottom lip, deciding. “Um, why don’t we sit down and I’ll talk for a little bit. I know you guys have questions and I do have more answers for you than the last time we were all together.” I checked with Avery, he seemed receptive. “I know you heard a lot of this from Claire, Avery, so stop me if I’m being redundant.”

He nodded.

“Hopefully, whatever I can’t clear up for you, Grandma can when she’s done talking to Mom.”  I turned to Dad. “Thanks for bringing everyone together.”

“It wasn’t me honey, Avery got your mom to show up.”  He returned to his seat on the couch. 

Claire and Melody leaned against the kitchen wall.

So far so good, pretty much as Grandma had seen it. I started in on the explaining. “Okay, here’s the short version.  Grandma is a seer and she belongs to a group of female seers called The Society.  They’re all over the world and there are thousands of them.”

Avery nodded his head knowingly and Dad just sat there staring at me. I kept on. “The abilities are hereditary, obviously.  Grandma is the first seer in our family as far as she knows.  There are different abilities, not all of us seers are the same.  Grandma is a Retroact and so am I-that means she can do that rewinding thing that I did.”

It was quieter than church in here!  I couldn’t have felt more awkward. “So, Mom doesn’t rewind, but she does have the ability to communicate—”

“I know, Zel,” Avery said, “I’ve talked to my dad.  It’s…good?” He grinned.

“Oh! Great, got that out of the way.” I glared at Claire.  Would have been nice to know that. Here I’d been worried about keeping all of these secrets, but I was starting to get the feeling that all of the cats were already out of all of their damn bags. “Well, the last major thing is that I can’t do harm with my abilities.” I looked to Dad, surprised that he seemed shocked. I smiled great big. “I didn’t hurt Mr. Adams.”

He clapped his hands together. “Oh!  That’s wonderful.  That is the best news I’ve had in a long time.” He jumped to his feet and pulled me into another bear hug.

“So, what you’re saying Zel is that you saved us all, some of us from death, and then we all treated you like crap?” Avery stated. 

I teared up. Frickity frack Claire!  She better never hold back from me again. “Yeah, that sounds right.”

Avery rose from the couch and put a tentative hand to my face. “I’m so sorry Zellie…all of those horrible things I said to you.” He brushed the tears from my cheek with his thumb.  “Please forgive me. I’m a complete idiot.  I mean, if you want to go out to the driveway, push me down and grind gravel into my eye sockets…I totally deserve it.”

If I hadn’t felt like I was taking a shower in Pine-Sol, I might have been worried by his public display of affection.  “Forgiven,” was all I could say before the vision overtook me.

I blinked hard and came to, not that surprised to find I was sitting on the couch. “Thanks, Avery,” I smiled at him and took his hand.

Dad cleared his throat, eyeing our clasped hands.  “This is all going to take a lot for me to get used to. My first concern is for you, Zellie.” He took on his “I’m responsible for keeping your soul from burning in hell” tone. “I’m not sure that I want you acting on your visions or being in this society organization or rushing back into things with Avery.”

I felt Avery’s palms break out into a sweat.  Mine weren’t far behind.

“I have nothing against you son, but you broke my kid’s heart. I’d like everyone to proceed with caution, okay?” Dad put a hand on my shoulder.

I let go of Avery’s hand.

Mom and Grandma came back into the room. Mom’s eyes were puffy and red, but she had a faint smile on her face.  She extended her arms out to me. “Come here my sweet girl.  I’m so sorry for how I treated you.”

I got up from the couch and walked into her waiting arms. Love struck liar, or not, she was still my mom.

Melody harrumphed.  “Does anyone have anything they wanna say to me?  Anybody feel like giving me a hug?” 

Mom and Dad and I descended on her, smothering her with hugs and kisses.  Claire was caught in the crossfire, but did nothing to stop it.

“Grandma?  Avery?  Get your butts on over here!” I waved them into the group.

I put my arm around Avery’s waist, tears finding their way down my face once again. The electricity of our bond was still there despite our separation.  I hoped we never had to endure being apart ever again.

 On my other side, Dad leaned in and kissed the top of my head. I felt better knowing that he was scared for me and not scared of me anymore. 

Mom hugged Melody and held onto Grandma’s hand, smiling more than she had in years.  Claire and Avery shared a conspiratorial look and then broke out laughing.

Grandma hadn’t seen this part, this dysfunctional family group hug and I was glad.  We were all happy in this moment. Yes, it was cheesy, and yes we all had so many things to work out and to get through, but in that moment I didn’t care about the future.  I couldn’t see anything but the present, and that was just fine.

It was a week after we returned from Portland before Mom invited me and Melody over to the Adams’ house for dinner.  She sent Avery to Jason’s for the night.  I was bummed watching him leave. My contact with him at that point was nonexistent. I’d been doing nothing besides teaching VBS and hanging out with Dad, which was great, but come on, Avery and I had a lot of relationship mending to do.

Mom made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. The three of us sat around the unfamiliar dining room table slurping up saucy noodles in awkward silence. 

Finally, Mom put her fork down and took a long drink of water. “So, I don’t know if your dad has said anything to you girls, but we’re sort of separated and have been since you left for Portland.” She took a deep breath in and then exhaled slowly. “Also, I’m going to have Mike’s baby.  I’m pregnant.”

Melody glared at me. “Damn it!  Could you please get your visions tuned into the right frequency or whatever?  I’m getting really sick of these crappy surprises!” She stormed down the hall, but then it dawned on her that she wasn’t at our house and couldn’t escape into our room.  She stood in the hallway seething for a moment before running out the front door, slamming it behind her.

I got up to follow her, but Mom put her hand on my forearm.  “Let her go.  She’s going to the park to blow off steam.”

I sat back down, defeated. “You’ve seen this already?” She was so much better at glimpsing than I was. Mom nodded her head.

“Well, what’s my reaction?” I huffed.

“You’re mad. You knew about the baby already and are wondering why I waited so long to tell Melody. You think I’m a hypocrite for keeping you away from Avery while I was sneaking around with Mike, which I wasn’t, by the way.  It was a one time thing the day he died.”

I so did not need to know the deets. “Okay, but are you going to patch things up with Dad? Or what?  Get a divorce?” I tore little pieces from my napkin, arranging them into a neat pile.

“I’m…we’re not sure yet. I can’t apologize more than I already have to him. He really did not deserve this, but I’ve got to think of this baby and try to be happy. Do you understand?” Mom laid her hand on mine, quieting the napkin shredding.

“Are you happy?” I blurted out.  “With everything else that’s going on with Melody and me? I don’t think we deserved this either!”  I wanted to run and scream and kick something! I didn’t.  I stayed in my chair.

“Zel, take how you feel about Avery and multiply it by a hundred.  Imagine if the separation you two went through this past month lasted for years. Followed by more years of polite hellos and church functions and then he was gone. Wouldn’t you do anything to have him back? In any way possible?”

She wiped tears from her cheek with the back of her hand. “I can talk to Mike and see him and laugh with him whenever I want.  I know I’m hurting all of you.  Despite that, I am happy.  Don’t get me wrong.  I wasn’t miserable with your dad.  He is a good man, a good father to you girls.  But I’ve been on autopilot for twenty years and I’m done.”

Now I could leave. “I’m gonna go find Melody.” I stood up, leaned over and hugged her. “I’m glad you finally said something. I won’t shut you out. I just need time.”

Mom hugged me tight. “That’s fair.”  She brushed my hair back from my forehead. “I love you Hazel Grace.”

That night Melody and I lay in our beds not sleeping, not talking, just staring at the ceiling.