Glimpse (6 page)

A sense of relief washed over him.  The wondering was over.  He let himself admit what he had been pushing down for a very long time. He loved Zellie and now he was certain she loved him too.

It had been two hours since my sixteenth birthday party had ended. Three hours since I had first kissed Avery. Four hours since I’d had the vision of him bleeding to death on the side of the road.

I’d spent the past twenty minutes trying to concentrate on the vision, that’s what it was, about that I had no doubt. I wanted to figure out what it meant, but my mind kept wandering back to the kiss. I replayed my first kiss over and over in my head until the vision and my curiosity about it subsided. I was going to have to check with Claire, but I didn’t think the whole “dry hump as first kiss” experience was normal.  I could still sense the intensity of it vibrating in my bones.

Now, however, as I lay in bed listening to Melody snore, I needed to think about the vision without interrupting myself. Work through it.

First off, why did I have it?  Was it my age?  Was it because of Avery? Okay, if I was being truthful with myself, I wasn’t completely shocked. My whole life I had known things about people. Like the game with Mom. I had always had a gut feeling about others lives, what they were sick with, if they were close to death.  When I visited people after church with Mom on Sundays, I always saw if that person was going to get better or take a turn for the worse. 

Second, why was the vision in the future? I now had a real picture in my mind to go along with my feelings, but Avery was not close to death in the present. We were both older.  Avery’s hair was gray at the temples and I was…pregnant.  That’s what was freaking me out the most.  Still, I couldn’t help but feel a small thrill run through me at the prospect that we would be together for longer than just a summer. We were going to have a baby together?  Maybe it was all just a cruel cosmic joke?  Maybe I wasn’t freaking out enough about this.  Shouldn’t I be freaking out more about this?

Feelings, senses, I could keep to myself, I always had. But a possibly life-ending vision of the future?  How was I going to keep that to myself? Who in the hell was I going to tell about it? My parents?  They were sure to take me straight to the doctor. Maybe that was a good idea, I could probably use one.

I should start by telling Claire.  She was the least likely to…well she would spaz out, but she might not think I was insane. 

Avery was going to be the scariest to confess this to.  Tomorrow, which was now today, after church at the lake, I would have to tell him then. Omitting, of course, the fact that I was in the vision and pregnant with his child.  I was smart enough to know that informing him he was possibly my future husband and father of my child would probably not get me a second make-out session.

I took a deep breath, forcing my thoughts from my consciousness. I let myself slide into the feeling of Avery’s arms around my waist, the clean sweet smell of his skin, the way he looked at me as he brought his face close to mine.  Sweet, sweet dreams.

I awoke a short while later, Mom’s hand on my forehead, a blank stare on her face.

The Avery vision flipped through my mind, but my eyes were all the way open.  Unlike before, I could see the vision and what was right in front of me, which unfortunately was Melody clutching her creepy one-eared teddy bear.  I looked up and studied Mom’s face as the images of the smashed red pickup and Avery’s wrecked body appeared.  Her brow furrowed when I reached the part with me on my knees rocking back and forth, holding my stomach, covered in Avery’s blood. Was I the only one seeing the vision?  I didn’t think so.

“Mom, what’re you doing?” I jerked my head away from her touch.

“Oh, sorry honey,” she whispered, coming to, “I didn’t mean to scare you.  I just thought that you looked a little feverish when you came home tonight. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m fine, Mom.  Go back to bed.” I rolled toward the wall, turning my back to her, trying to convince myself that she wasn’t doing what I thought she’d been doing.  Grace Wells, devoted mother, Pastor’s wife, and bible group leader did not just read my mind.

“Goodnight, my sweet redheaded girl.”

“Goodnight, Mom.”

What in the frickity frack was going on? I pulled my blankets up over my head. So far, sixteen was turning out to be weird and more than I could deal with.  Not to mention seriously screwing up my beauty sleep.

I got up at five and jumped out of bed.  I wanted to be the first person in the bathroom. Luxuriating in the hot shower, I smoothed a gigantic dollop of conditioner into my hair and let it linger while I meticulously shaved my legs.  I scrubbed my arms, my stomach, the small of my back, and the tops of my feet with jasmine scented body wash. Forget tea rose perfume.  This was the way to go.

I stepped from the shower and took two clean, but thin, towels from underneath the sink vanity. Securing one around my body, twisting the other around my hair. It was hard to breathe, the room was so steamy. I yanked open the small window above the toilet, letting the steam escape.  I brushed my teeth, plucked my eyebrows, and cleaned my ears. Today, when Avery saw me I was going to look like perfection to him for once. All right, I admit it; I was in love, love, love! Something as momentous as that could cause a girl to go spastically hygienic.

At 6:30 Melody banged on the bathroom door. “Zellie!  I have to pee so bad.  Let me in.”

I unlocked the door, struggling to turn the knob.  I was almost done lotioning up.

Melody burst into the room, pushing me aside. She sat down on the toilet.  “What are you doing in here?  It smells like freaking Bath and Body Works exploded.”

“Whatever,” I trilled. She was not going to ruin my mood.  There wasn’t a thing in the whole universe that was going to bring me down.  Okay, I was still practicing some major vision denial, but apart from that, nothing was going to bring me down today.  Not when there was more severely hot making out to do!

I unwound my hair from the towel turban and combed through it with my fingers. Let the one hour blow dry commence.

Melody flushed the toilet. She turned on the shower, testing the water with her hand.  I’m sure it was lukewarm.  “Hey.  You used up all the hot water.”

I motioned that I couldn’t hear her over the hair dryer. Nothing is gonna bring me down.

“Stupid Avery Adams,” she hissed at me.  “Did you hear that?  I said your boyfriend is stoo-pid.” Melody whipped off her nightshirt and hurried into the shower.

The goofiest grin in my repertoire spread across my face. She said my
boyfriend
was stupid.  Yay to the…yay!

We Wells women splintered off to our various Sunday school classes.  Mom led the adult Bible study, while Melody went to catechism class to prepare for her upcoming first communion.  After your first communion you got to go to youth group, which was where I headed. 

I tried to hold back a smile as I descended the stairs to the church basement.

Assistant Pastor Morris was walking around the long wooden table in the middle of the room placing Bibles on every other folding chair. 

“Hey Zel, how was the birthday party?” he asked, handing me a Bible. I sat down at the end of the table.

 I tried to play it coy.  Pastor Morris was only like, twenty-three or something.  He hadn’t been an oblivious adult that long. “Oh, you know, as exciting as a party in a church basement can be.”

“Wow, must have been a rager then.”  Pastor Morris winked at me and took his usual seat at the other end of the table.

All of the kids that had been at my party the night before began filing in and taking seats around the table.  Avery and Jason walked into the room. Jason was kicking him on the back of his calves trying to make him fall down. 

“Knock it off man,” Avery said.  He looked at me and smiled.

Of course, my face flushed hot pink.

There were three remaining empty chairs situated around the table, two on one side and one on the other.  Avery made his way toward the two empty chairs, picking up a Bible off of one seat and sitting down. He put his hand on the seat of the other.  He glanced at me.

Crap!  How stupid could I be?  Why hadn’t I saved him a seat? I was already not being a good girlfriend. Now I was stuck at the end of the table. Pastor Morris was sure to tell Dad if he suspected anything. 

Jason flicked Avery on the ear, went around to the other side of the table and sat in the last empty chair.

“Okay. Let’s begin,” Pastor Morris said. “Everyone join hands…”

Claire came running into the room, the wide neck of her black t-shirt hanging off her shoulder, exposing a lime green bra strap.  “Sorry! My mom like, totally forgot where she put her car keys and didn’t find them until like, five minutes ago. In the refrigerator of all places!”

She came to a halt next to the table. I could tell she had instantly comprehended my dilemma. “Zellie, be a dear and switch places with me, I am so not in the mood to share a Bible this morning.”

“Sure!”  I stood up lightning quick, almost knocking over my folding chair.

Claire crossed her eyes and made a fish face at me as we took our seats.  Avery pushed the chair next to him back from the table so that I could sit down.

“Okay, now that everyone has arrived and is hopefully sitting in the chair that they want to be,” Pastor Morris smirked, looking right at me, “let us all join hands and bow our heads in prayer.”

I held Laura Weaver’s hand with the fingertips of my right hand and gripped Avery’s with my left.

“Heavenly father…” Pastor Morris began.

The smell of pine wafted up my nose.

“
Zellie…I love…please.”

 
I studied Avery’s face.  His jeans and long sleeve grey t-shirt were coated in blood. Bits of windshield were lodged in his forehead. A huge gash tore back the skin under his left eye. 

“
I could have prevented this. I could have stopped it.”  I heard my older self say as I rocked back and forth, holding onto my very pregnant stomach.

“Amen,” the youth group said in unison.

“Amen,” I added, realizing I’d spaced out again and missed the entire prayer.

After youth group Avery and I stayed in our chairs. Man, I was super duper colossally horrible at this whole girlfriend thing.  Plan?  What plan?  I guess I thought we’d just sit here and everyone would leave and then we would get right on the making out.  Ugh. 

“I’ll collect the Bibles, Pastor Morris. I know you need to get upstairs.”  Avery stood, Bible in hand, and began picking up the other Bibles scattered across the table.

“Thanks, Avery.  Zellie can show you where they go.  See you guys upstairs.”  Pastor Morris shot an amused look at both of us and then made his way upstairs to prepare for the service.

I got to my feet and wiped the palms of my hands down the front of my knee length floral printed skirt.  “I’m glad you thought of something,” I said, reaching out and picking up a few of the Bibles that were near me. “I guess I’m not too good under pressure.”

“Yeah, it took me almost all of youth group to come up with this.” He nodded to his stack of Bibles. “You usually put them away?  I really don’t know where they go.”

“They go in my dad’s office.”  I walked over to the door, looking back at him as I opened it.

Avery followed me into the room, kicking the door closed behind him with his foot. Hot.  Can I get an Amen?  H-O-T.

“Just set them here.”  I pointed behind me to the top of the filing cabinet I just happened to be standing in front of.

Avery leaned past me, his cheek skimming mine as he placed the Bibles on the filing cabinet.  Pulling back, he gazed into my eyes.  The spell of the night before had not been broken.

“You still want to meet at the lake this afternoon?” he said, licking his lips.

“Yes,” I lifted my mouth to his and gave him a quick, sweet kiss, “how are you going to get there?”

He ducked his head. “Um, I have to ride my bike.” Avery pulled back from me a bit.

“Good,” I giggled, leaning in and kissing him again, “I do too.”

He slid his hands down my forearms, grasping my hands in his. He smiled a crinkly-eyed smile at me.  “Your skin is so soft. Just like I thought it would be.”

“Thanks.” I smiled back.  If I had to get up at five in the morning for the rest of my life and loofah the bejeezus out of myself, it was worth it to hear him say that.

He drew me to him and kissed me once more, and then buried his face in my hair and took a big whiff.  It was so good to know we were the same kind of perv.

Reluctantly, he pushed himself away from me. “I’ll see you at three. Meet me by the picnic tables, okay?”

I looked at the big clock on the wall behind my dad’s desk.  Crud! We were seriously late for the church service. “Okay.  I’ll see you at three.” I pushed him toward the door. “Hurry.  Church has started already.”

It was 2:45. I was for sure going to be late to meet Avery. There was no way I was going to be able to make it home, change out of my church clothes, think of an excuse, and then ride my bike the three miles out to the lake.

Mom eased the minivan into the driveway.  Both Melody and I shot out of the car, running through the house and into our room.

“Ick!”  Melody said, collapsing on her bed. “I hate visiting sick people.  Mom better not ever make me do that again.”

“Yeah, well, she’s being really weird today.” I tore off my church clothes, slinging them over a hanger. “I’m supposed to meet Claire for a hike at the lake in like ten minutes and I’m going to be so late!”

“Bull,” Melody said. She walked to her dresser, taking out a pair of shorts and pulled them on underneath her skirt.

“Bull what, Melody?” I didn’t have the time to fight with or ask my sister for help. I kicked off my dressy white sandals.

“Bull you are meeting Claire at the lake. Everyone in church saw you and Avery coming in late to the service, including Mom.”  Melody pushed her skirt off over her shorts, letting it fall to the wood floor.