(Glory St Clair 11) Real Vampires Say Read My Hips (13 page)

Oh, but I wanted to do something, anything, to stop this. I eyed the short sword my father had hanging from his toga. Kratos had a strong build and probably thought his bragging would impress me. I’d like to impress him with a sword to his manhood.

His eyes widened. “Well, she’s a feisty one, sire.” He’d obviously read my mind. He laughed and faced Zeus. “Is it a fight to the death? I’m sure once this mortal lover of hers is put down, it won’t take long for me to make her forget he ever existed.”

“Strong words. I like your attitude. Now here are the terms.” Zeus glanced at me and probably saw how distressed I was. Fight to the death? No way in hell would I sit still for that.

“I won’t risk you, a most trusted ally in such a way. This won’t be a fight to the death. Just until one of you is declared winner to my satisfaction. And you’ll both be fighting as mortals. No special skills or powers.”

Mars leaned close and whispered in Zeus’s ear.

“Ah, it seems our visitor has a special skill. How are you with a knife, Kratos?”

“I’m proud to say more than proficient. Not to brag,” He winked at me, “But I can hit the eye of a running deer at sixty paces.”

Mars snorted. Since I had no idea if such a feat was even possible, I was afraid that meant Kratos was as good with a knife as Jerry was. However, clearly the god had a huge ego. If I had to marry him, which I vowed was never going to happen, his bragging would become irritating beyond belief.

Zeus rubbed his hands together and sparks flew. “Kratos, I hope you aren’t overstating your ability because I’ve decided that you will both be armed with two knives and a broad sword. I am given to understand those are the weapons Gloriana’s champion is proficient with. Is that correct, granddaughter?”

I was suddenly allowed to stand and even speak. I left Hera’s side and ran to Jerry’s. “Yes, but I don’t want--”

“Gloriana, hush. This seems more than fair. Don’t you think I can handle this kind of challenge?” Jerry had been thawed and now put his arm around my shoulders. “This seems more than fair. I thank you, Zeus. What say you, Kratos? Will you meet me in hand-to-hand combat?”

Kratos leaned back his head and laughed out loud. “Ah, listen to the lovesick swain. Willing to fight for his lady. You’ve not even heard all the terms yet, idiot. Say them now, sire.”

“Ah, the terms. Winner gets the hand of the fair Gloriana, of course.” He nodded toward me.

“And the loser?” Kratos stared at Jerry, obviously considering him an unworthy opponent. Jerry did look pale, his time in the cells finally showing.

“A century in the cells.” Zeus smiled. “Unless one of you accidentally kills the other.”

“There must not be such an accident.” I realized Jerry’s hand had slipped off my shoulder. Then I heard Kratos laugh, a braying sound that got on my last nerve.

“Why I think I’ve won before even one blow has been delivered.” He nodded behind me.

“Jerry!” I turned and saw that my lover had collapsed. He was clearly unconscious.

“Sorry, sire.” Mars gestured and a couple of soldiers picked up Jerry and carried him toward the double doors. “If you’ll give this man time to recover from his incarceration before the fight, I’m sure he’ll give you a fine evening’s entertainment.”

“Entertainment!” I stayed by Jerry’s side. “My entire future rests on this fight.” I picked up his limp hand and rubbed it. He was unresponsive. I gestured and the soldiers stopped. I knew we didn’t dare leave Zeus’s presence without permission. “Sire?”

“Hebe, I heard you threw this man into the cell next to Achelous. A fit of temper, perhaps?” Zeus stared at my mother.

“Yes, Father. I saw no need to have him here. Knowing what he was.” She glanced at Mars. “But my daughter is willful and does seem to truly love him.”

“Yes, you have my own temper.” He smiled, ignoring his wife’s humph of agreement. “Very well, we’ll hold the fight in a month’s time. Make it an event. Take your man away, Gloriana. Send in Dionysus. He can arrange things so that this will be a fine evening’s amusement.” Zeus laughed and walked over to settle on his throne. “Open the betting books. I can imagine Olympus will be quite lively for the next month.”

“A month?” But I looked down at Jerry’s pale face and could only nod. He needed to rest, restore his health and practice with his knives and broad sword. I could hear Kratos bragging about his skills as the doors opened to the curious crowd and the soldiers carried Jerry out. God.

“Did Zeus kill him?” Dionysus was suddenly next to me.

“No. Grandfather wants you next. We’re to have a party. Go ask him about it.” I looked around, refusing to say more in this place with so many listening ears. “Can you send me to my bedchamber with your magic? Or tell me how to do it?”

“Certainly. I assume you want to take your fallen warrior with you?” My uncle ran his gaze over Jerry. “He looks a bit pale but should be all right with your tender loving care.” He grabbed my hand and placed it on Jerry’s chest. “Now imagine your bedchamber, no, your bed. Think hard and you’ll be there in a blink.” He rubbed his hands together. “A party! Thank you, Gloriana. You have no idea how dull this place can be.” With that he whisked through the double doors which shut behind him.

I did as he said, my hand firm on Jerry, my mind visualizing my bed inside my bedchamber. With a combo of “I think I can” and “Please take me there” I soon found us in the middle of my king sized bed. Unfortunately the soldiers had been holding his head and feet and they were with us too. We were all in a pile on the bed. Oh, well, I guess for a first try, I’d done well.

“You may go now and thank you.” I dismissed them after we’d sorted things out.

I gestured for handmaidens who quickly got to work. Apparently the secrets of Olympus were known to them, just not to me. One brought an elixir which she forced down Jerry’s throat. Another pried off Jerry’s sandals while another seemed determined to take off his toga. At that point, I took over.

“Thanks, but I’ve got it from here. Go. Leave us.” I took a damp cloth from one of them and ran it across his forehead. It soon became obvious that the elixir was working.

“Gloriana.” Jerry’s eyes fluttered open. “Tell me I didn’t pass out in Zeus’s chambers.”

“Afraid so.”

“God, no man there will forget that.” He shut his eyes again.

“See it as an advantage. Now they will underestimate you.” I kissed his lips. “They’ve given you a month to recover before the big event.”

“That’s something.” He struggled to sit up. “Where the hell?”

“You’re in my bed. I guess no one cares if we cohabitate while you recover. Morals are fairly lax here as long as we don’t advertise it. My grandmother is the only one who is strict about marriage vows.” I sighed and stuck a pillow behind his head. “You should rest. Your time in the cells was harder on you than we thought.”

“Mars’ had dosed me with a magic potion before he brought me here. I guess it wore off. I tried to stay upright but then the world went dark and that’s all I remember. Is it a fight to the death or not?” Jerry pulled me down next to him and cradled me in his arms.

“Not. Unless Kratos does something shady.”

“He won’t.” Mars suddenly appeared at the end of the bed. “I’ll make sure of that. And I have news that should cheer you both.”

“I can’t imagine what it could be.” I sat up and straightened my toga. Jerry had managed to slide his hand inside the bodice.

“Kratos has a man to be his second. Zeus will turn him mortal as well. To make the fight what he considers fair.” Mars threw the two knives that had been confiscated from Jerry on the foot of the bed. “So I demanded you have a trusted man as your second. Someone from Earth.”

“You’re kidding. You’re thinking of bringing a man from home to act as my second?” Jerry reached for the knives and tucked them under his pillows. “I hate the idea of any of my friends coming here.”

“Too late. He’s brought your best man and I wouldn’t come without my wife. So you’ve got us both for the next month.” The voice was accompanied by a squeal before someone landed on the bed on top of me.

“Olympus,
amica
. What an adventure, eh?” Flo hugged me then kissed Jerry on the cheek. “Can you believe Ricardo wouldn’t come without me?”

“No, go back! This is crazy.” I shoved her off the bed and jumped up to stand beside her. “Mars, what were you thinking?”

“You don’t want us?” Flo’s eyes filled. “But we came to help you.”

“Richard, you have no idea what you are in for here.” Jerry started to get out of bed but I put a hand on his shoulder.

“Stay in bed.” I smiled as I said it. “Jerry just spent time in the Olympus jail. Did Mars tell you that?” I shook my head. “This place is a fancy version of hell.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that.” Mars looked offended.

“We’re here and we’re staying.” Richard pulled Flo to his side. “Darling, calm down. Gloriana is just surprised. I’m sure she will love having you here.”

I sighed. Of course I’d pined for some company. A true friend to confide in. I opened my arms. “God, come here, Flo. You have no idea how glad I am to see you. And just wait until you see my closet.”

Chapter 7

There was no way to keep Jerry resting in bed. He and Richard had gone off with Mars to the “armory.” Their talk of weapons worried me, but it obviously made the men happy. I let Flo explore my closet then took her to my sitting room so I could catch up on the latest gossip from home.

“Everything in that closet is so beautiful. And I can’t fit into even one thing. Not even the shoes!” Flo waved her hands in disgust. “I would like to steal the purses and try on the jewelry but what would your mama do? Throw lightning at me?” She sighed and eyed the tray a handmaiden set in the center of the table. I’d asked the servant to bring in a selection of Italian desserts. Another woman entered with a carafe of pink sparkling wine and two crystal flutes.

“It’s possible. I know she won’t be happy when she finds out Mars brought you here. He admitted he went behind her back.” My father had brought my pal here to please me. He’d definitely scored points. Now I couldn’t help but be thrilled that I was smaller than Flo for a change. “Mother insists I stay this size.”

“Insists?” Flo looked me over. “You make me crazy. Don’t bother pretending to complain. You have always wanted to be little. Now you are and make me feel like a
gigante
.” She waved a hand at the table. “What’s all this? Another way to torment me?”

“No, not at all. Try something.” I picked up a chocolate dipped biscotti and bit off one end. “Mmm. Delicious.”

“What are you doing?” Flo leaned forward.

“Eating.” I poured us each a glass of wine. “And drinking.” I sipped some of the sweet wine and sighed. “Come on. Try it.”

“Now you are being mean. You know I cannot…” She did pick up a pastry and sniffed it. “I remember these. My
nonna
…” Her eyes sparkled and I wondered if she was going to cry. “Well, this brings back memories. From centuries ago.”

I reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “Flo, honey, haven’t you realized yet that you’re not a vampire up here?” I said the “v” word quietly. I knew my mother had downplayed my past, and Zeus could probably make everyone up here forget I’d ever been a blood sucker.

“No. I mean, seriously?” She picked up a cookie. “I’m starving. Not the way I can be, when I haven’t fed but,” she suddenly stuffed the pastry into her mouth and chewed. “
Madre di Dio
!” She said that with her mouth full, her hand already reaching for another one.

I laughed. “Slow down. You don’t want to make yourself sick. Drink some wine before you choke.” I pressed the wine glass into her hand. For a few moments there wasn’t much to say as she ate and drank. Finally, she slowed down, moaning as she rubbed her stomach.

“Did that really happen just now?
Madre di Dio
, I think I am in Heaven. Did someone stake me in my death sleep? Have we met in the afterlife,
amica
?” She wiped her mouth with a napkin then refilled her wine glass, sneezing when the bubbles tickled her nose. “Mortal. How is it possible? I’ve been vampire for hundreds of years, more than I will admit to anyone even
mio
amato
Ricardo.”

I got up and hugged her. She had a streak of cream on her cheek, and I wiped it off with my napkin. “No, you’re not in Heaven. Just the opposite.”

“What do you mean?” Flo filled her plate and began eating again.

. “I can’t wait to get out of this place. Everyone here hates me except my parents and even they put conditions on their love. I can’t trust anyone, especially not my mother.” I sat down and put a pastry on my plate, but I had no appetite. “Flo, she threw me in a cell because I wouldn’t go along with her plans. Jerry’s still recovering from
his
stay in prison and the horrible conditions there.”

“
Cagna
.” Flo was going for more wine but the carafe was almost empty. “It is too bad you can’t trust your own mother. But with the powers you have and all of this,” her gesture included the beautiful room, my closet and the laden table, “I am afraid you won’t ever want to come home.”

“Remember, Mars brought you and Richard here because Zeus expects me to marry one of his gods. Does that sound like a place I want to stay?” I knew
cagna
meant bitch and I couldn’t agree more.

“No, guess not. Jeremiah can best this man in a fight, can’t he? Are you worried that he won’t?” Flo finished her wine. “Where’s the handmaiden? We need more wine and biscotti.”

“Maybe not. I don’t trust the god to play fair.” When Flo giggled, belched, then reached for the last pastry, I also knew I couldn’t let my friend keep on eating without a serious warning. “About the food and drink. We may not need more of that either.” I looked pointedly at Flo’s waist where I noticed she’d unbuttoned. “Pants feeling tight?”

“A little.” She grinned. “It is so good, Glory, I can’t help myself. Do you have a bell to ring or do you just shout for the girl to serve us?”

“I gesture. Have no idea how it works. But maybe you should slow down on the sweets, pal. Mortal. Remember? You can gain weight. Or lose it. Go check yourself out in the mirror. When you were in my closet earlier, you never looked. Because you didn’t think you’d show up, of course. Well, go see yourself now.” I laughed when she raced straight for the doors. Her shriek didn’t surprise me, and I headed to the three-way mirror to find her turning this way and that, frowning at her reflection.