God Has Spoken (14 page)

In her bedroom, Eleanor knelt down on the floor rug, her elbows rested on the bed, her hands folded together. “Lord, why are you opening these doors for me but still can't fill the hole in my heart?” Eleanor prayed tearfully as she looked toward the heavens. “Will I ever see Aunt Madge and Dupree again? Will I ever be completely free of this ache that dominates my soul?” Eleanor hung down her head and wept, hoping that one day God would finally speak.

There she stayed for what seemed like hours, down on her knees, wallowing in her pain and grief. Slowly, Eleanor stood shakily to her feet, wincing at the cramp in her back. She walked over to the window and looked out into the now dark backyard, illuminated by the lightbulbs on the side of the house. Mama Pearl, Robert, and Omar were gone.

Walking into the adjoining bathroom, Eleanor went over to the face basin and turned on the tap, splashing water all over her face. After drying her face with a towel, she stared at her red, swollen eyes in the mirror.

“I need to go and apologize to Mama Pearl, Robert, and Omar,” Eleanor said aloud. “But especially to Robert, who went out of his way to help me, only to have it thrown back into his face.” Shame washed over Eleanor like a straitjacket. Taking a deep breath, she spun around on her heel and walked out of the bathroom.

As Eleanor softly approached the living room she noticed how quiet it was. Where was everyone? Upon entering the room, Mama Pearl, Robert, and Omar jumped to their feet, their faces full of worry.

“Are you okay?” Omar asked anxiously.

“I'm so sorry, Eleanor,” Robert said with an uneasiness in his voice.

“Sugar, are you all right?” Mama Pearl asked sadly.

They all spoke at the same time.

“I'm feeling a little better now,” Eleanor said, wringing her hands nervously. “I owe the three of you an apology. In fact—”

“No apology is necessary,” Robert said quickly.

“Yes, yes, it is,” Eleanor insisted, raising her right hand to stop his objections. “My behavior earlier has nothing to do with you wonderful people. It's all me.”

Eleanor faced Robert and looked him in the eye. “Robert, the fact that you would think of doing something like this for me blows my mind,” she said sincerely. “I love you for thinking of me and wanting to see the best in me.”

Robert blinked rapidly as unshed tears filled his eyes. “You
are
going to accept it, right?” he asked her. “My brothers and I have already discussed this, and we all agreed that we want to do this for you, Eleanor. We are going to pay your tuition and take care of all your school expenses as we have been doing. Please say yes.”

Eleanor practically leaped into his arms, her hands wrapped tightly around his neck in a tight hold.

“Hmmm, killing him is probably a little bit too extreme, don't you think?” Omar said jokingly.

Everyone laughed, relieving some of the tension that held the room hostage. However, the thousand-pound gorilla refused to leave the room.

“I have done some despicable things,” Eleanor said after releasing Robert and facing everyone. “I have hurt people I love and who love me. For the most part, I don't feel I deserve all this.” She opened her arms wide as her eyes swept the room.

“Yes, you do, my dear,” Mama Pearl said in a firm voice. “You deserve God's mercy, forgiveness, and grace, like everyone else. You have gained a new family and us a daughter and sister. I am not going to stop praying until you finally break free from your past and accept your future.”

“Amen,” said Omar. “So you better pack your book bag and get ready for UWI.”

“UWI, huh?” Eleanor couldn't stop the little smile that began to form on her face. “Me? Eleanor? Studying at the University of the West Indies?” she asked in an incredulous voice, shaking her head from side to side.

“Yes, and you are lucky you aren't majoring in math and get me for your professor,” Robert said in a jovial voice. “So what do you say, are we going to do this?”

“You really think I can do it?” Eleanor asked doubtfully, her eyes moving back and forth between Robert, Mama Pearl, and Omar.

“Eleanor, you
have
been doing it,” Robert told her. “You passed your CXC and A-Level exams. This will be no different because you are a brilliant young lady.”

Eleanor blushed and hung down her head. “I can do it. I really can do it,” she muttered as she paced the floor. “You did this for me, and I'm going to make all of you proud.” She looked from Robert, to Mama Pearl, to Omar. “I'm going to UWI,” she said in a low voice.

Everyone began to cheer. Eleanor was heading down the path that the Lord was making for her.

Almost four years later, Eleanor was a seasoned fulltime university student. She had switched her hours at the hardware store to afternoons and reduced her working days to three days per week so she could attend classes in morning and still have time to help with house chores.

Eleanor was an A student. She studied hard, excelled in all her classes, and was just a few weeks away from completing her bachelor of science degree in Human Resources Management.

Now twenty-three-years old, Eleanor was a tall, slim, beautiful woman with a megawatt smile. She was a devoted Christian and a wonderful daughter and sister to her informal adopted family. Many people saw Eleanor as the epitome of good, and the essence of physical beauty. A role she played very well.

Eleanor had learned to function and adjust to her new life. She even had happy moments, especially around the family and at church. It was when she was alone, especially in the wee hours of the morning that her demons surfaced. Images of the aunt and the daughter she abandoned continued to eat at her soul. No matter what she did, there was always a dark cloud hanging over her happiness, and she doubted it would ever go away. It was like having God whispering in one ear, telling her that she is worthy of His love and the devil in the other ear, telling her she deserved to rot in hell. It was an agonizing, mental warfare in her head.

“Hello? Is anyone in there?” said an amused voice outside Eleanor's bedroom door, followed by a soft knock.

Eleanor quickly sat up on the bed, tucking her dress under her legs, textbooks scattered all around her. “Come in, Bighead,” she said loudly with a laugh.

Omar laughed as he opened the door, stepping into the room. “I'm Bighead, and you're Dumbhead,” he responded playfully.

“Oh, please,” Eleanor replied with a smirk, rolling her eyes. “You are looking at an A student about to graduate from UWI
with honors
.”

“Look at you showing off.” Omar smiled as he sat down on the edge of the bed, facing Eleanor. “I'm proud of you, little sis.”

Eleanor returned the smile and looked at him affectionately. The tall, handsome, twenty-eight-year old was now an assistant branch manager at the Bank of Nova Scotia (BNS) and engaged to be married to a wonderful woman, whom Eleanor liked.

“I'm proud of you too, big brother.” Eleanor grinned. “Rose is a lucky woman,” she said in reference to Omar's fiancée.

“I'm the lucky one.” he blushed. “Sometimes I can't believe that I'm getting married. Me? About to become somebody's husband.” He shook his head.

“You are going to be a great husband,” Eleanor said softly. “And look at the bright side. You will be moving out, and I won't have to see your ugly face every day.”

Omar grabbed a pillow near his hand and threw it at Eleanor. Their laughter resounded around the room. They had grown very close over the years and had developed an awesome relationship.

“I just wanted to let you know I'm going on the road,” Omar said. “Do you want to take a ride with me? Get away from the books for a while?”

“No, thanks,” Eleanor replied quickly. “I need to finish this chapter and start dinner soon.”

“Eleanor, it's Saturday,” Omar said. “You need to get out of the house once in a while.”

“I do get out.” Eleanor cut her eyes at him.

“Only to go to school, church, or work,” he said. “You don't go out with friends, go watch a movie, go to the mall, or do something fun.”

“I don't have time for fun,” Eleanor snapped. “I have to stay focused on what's important.” But in her heart Eleanor knew Omar was right. She had locked herself in a shell and refused to let anyone get too close.

Omar sighed. “Okay, we will be back for dinner,” he said gently. “Tomorrow, you and I are going to Devon's House after church for ice cream.” He raised a hand when Eleanor opened her mouth to object. “After which we are going to take a drive up into the hills and do some sightseeing. Got that?” Omar grinned at her.

Eleanor laughed. “Okay, Daddy,” she said jokingly. “Whatever you say, sir.”

Omar laughed and pinched her toe before standing to his feet. “My guest and I will be here in time for dinner.”

“Rose is hardly a guest anymore,” Eleanor said to his back as he walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind him.

Eleanor slid down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. As she stared up at the white blank surface, deep in thought, an image began to form. It was the face of a baby girl, faded at first but got brighter and clearer. Big, brown, sad eyes stared back at her in silence, tears running down her cheeks. Suddenly, the face contorted as if hit by a spasm of pain. In a flash, the baby's face was replaced by the ugly, wrinkled face of the creature. Huge, red eyes glared at her as it snarled its long teeth angrily.

Eleanor's breathing quickened, her heart galloping in her chest like a racing horse. Unable to move or even look away, she gazed wide-eyed at her monster, tears leaking down the sides of her face.

“You are a
fraud
,” the monster said in a coarse, booming voice. “You deserve to
die
.” Then it leaped from the ceiling.

Eleanor screamed in terror, jumped off the bed, pulled the bedroom door open, and ran out of the house into the backyard. Bent over with her hands resting on her knees, she hyperventilated. Struggling to suck air into her lungs, she exhaled and inhaled deeply.

“How long, Lord?” Eleanor croaked. “How much longer before all this is over?”

It took a few minutes for Eleanor to compose herself. Still visibly shaking and disturbed by the haunting images fabricated in her troubled mind, she went back inside to start dinner.

“Hey, baby,” Mama Pearl said as she entered the kitchen, her hands filled with grocery bags.

“Hi, Mama Pearl.” Eleanor quickly walked over and took some bags from her hands, placing them on the kitchen counter.

“Didn't I tell you to wait on me so we can make dinner together?” Mama Pearl asked her in a light voice as she put away the contents of her bags. “I thought you were studying for your finals.”

“I did some studying,” Eleanor replied. “I wanted to get dinner started until you get home. Don't worry, after dinner I'm back to the grindstone.”

“In a few weeks you will have your degree.” Mama Pearl beamed with pride. “I only wish you would change your mind about attending your graduation ceremony.” She turned and looked at Eleanor who refused to make eye contact with her.

“I don't need to attend the ceremony to get my degree, Mama Pearl,” Eleanor said subtly. “I don't need all that excitement.”

“We wanted to come and cheer you on, take pictures and celebrate with you,” Mama Pearl said with a sigh. “But we will respect your wishes. Just know we are all going out to dinner as a family.”

Eleanor looked at her. “Mama Pearl! I don't—”

“No. I
don't
want to hear it.” Mama Pearl put up her hand to silence Eleanor. “That's not up for debate or discussion. We are going, and that's final.”

Eleanor looked at Mama Pearl in defeat. She knew when Mama Pearl made a decision, nothing or no one could change her mind. “Okay, Mama Pearl,” she said finally. “I guess we can do dinner.”

“Yes!
That's
what I'm talking about,” Mama Pearl said happily, as if it was all Eleanor's idea. “Come on, let's finish dinner before our guest arrives.”

Moments later dinner was finished and the dining table was set.

“I'm going to take a quick shower before Omar and Rose get's here,” Eleanor told Mama Pearl and walked out of the kitchen.

“Oh, it's not Rose,” Mama Pearl said at Eleanor's back, but she was already strolling down the hall toward her bedroom.

 

 

“Mama Pearl, hello, darling,” said a strange, rich, sexy masculine voice.

Eleanor heard Mama Pearl squeal in delight from the dining room. Her brows raised in confusion. Eleanor wondered who it was. She knew it wasn't any of Mama Pearl's sons because she knew their voices.

“The big shot is here, Mama.” Omar's voice made its way to Eleanor in the kitchen.

“Man, cut that out,” Sexy Voice spoke again. A bout of laughter drifted into the kitchen.

I need to get out of here,
Eleanor thought nervously as she looked at the open door.

“Where is Eleanor?” she heard Omar ask.

“She's in the kitchen,” Mama Pearl answered. “She just went to get some more ice.”

Eleanor looked down and saw the bucket of ice in her hand. She had totally forgotten about it. Great, so much for sneaking off to her room. Mama Pearl would certainly come looking for her. Taking a deep breath, Eleanor walked out of the kitchen and toward the dining room.

“Hello,” Eleanor said brightly as she entered the room. “Here is—” Her eyes met and locked with a pair of dreamy brown ones. They belonged to a tall, handsome, light-skinned man flashing a killer dimpled smile.

“You must be Eleanor,” said Sexy Voice, his grin making his dimples even more conspicuous. In a few long strides he was standing in front of her. “Here, let me help you with that.” He took the ice bucket from her hands, his fingers brushing hers lightly.

A chill ran down Eleanor's spine. She watched him silently as he placed the bucket on the dining table. In a flash he was before her again.

“I'm Dwight Humphrey,” he said, advertising his thirty-two pearly whites. “It's nice to meet you, Eleanor.” He stretched out his right hand toward her.

“Hi,” Eleanor replied in a high, squeaky voice and took his hand for a handshake.
Gosh, I sound like a scared little mouse.
Eleanor cleared her throat and tried again. “I'm Eleanor. It's nice to meet you.”
Much better. You are a grown woman, for Christ's sake; stop acting like a child.

Dwight and Eleanor stood staring at each other, their hands still clasped together.

“Ahem,” Omar said from behind Eleanor, snapping her back to the present.

“If you two would like to join us for dinner?” Mama Pearl asked sweetly from her seat around the dining table.

Dwight quickly released Eleanor's hand, both of them slightly embarrassed as they took seats around the table. Mama Pearl and Omar looked on in amusement.

“Welcome home, Dwight,” Mama Pearl said after she blessed the table and everyone had filled their plates. “I always wondered if you were ever coming back to Jamaica to live.”

“You knew I had to come back home, Mama Pearl,” Dwight replied. “I accomplished a lot in New York, but I was ready for my island in the sun. Plus, BNS made me an offer I couldn't refuse, so here I am.”

“That's an awesome position,” Omar said with admiration. “Treasury manager. Congratulations, man.”

“Thanks, ‘O,'” Dwight replied modestly. “You aren't doing so bad yourself, Mr. Assistant Branch Manager.”

“Well, you know how Big ‘O' rolls,” Omar said smugly, opening his arms wide.

Everyone laughed. Eleanor looked at Omar and rolled her eyes playfully. He winked at her.

“I've been living in New York for the last eight years,” Dwight said to Eleanor, his eyes locked on her face. “I went there for college, got a job, and stayed a little while.”

Eleanor nodded, her gaze now fixed on the food she shuffled around on her plate. She still hadn't had a bite to eat.

“Omar and I have been friends since high school,” Dwight continued, undeterred by her silence. “This used to be like a second home to me. Right, Mama Pearl?”

“I should have charged you rent.” Mama Pearl laughed merrily. “As a matter of fact, it's not too late.” She stretched out her hand to Dwight, her eyes twinkling in delight.

Dwight and Omar laughed out loud.

Throughout the rest of dinner, Omar, Mama Pearl, and Dwight caught up on their lives and reminisced about old times, while Eleanor listened politely, nodding when necessary. She was aware of Dwight staring at her from time to time, but she refused to get caught up in his dreamy eyes again.

After dinner, Eleanor and Mama Pearl cleaned up, while Omar and Dwight retired to the living room.

“You have been awfully quiet tonight,” Mama Pearl said to her while they were in the kitchen washing dishes. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine.” Eleanor gave her a strained smile. “I'm just very anxious about my finals.”

“I see.” Mama Pearl gave her a knowing look. “Why don't you get back to your studying and I'll finish up here.”

“Are you sure?” Eleanor asked her.

“Yes, I'm sure,” Mama Pearl replied. “Go on.”

“Thanks, Mama Pearl.” Eleanor kissed her on the cheek, happy she was escaping Dreamy Eyes.

“Here, take this with you.” Mama Pearl handed Eleanor a covered plate of food and a fork “You need to get something in your stomach.”

Eleanor looked at her in alarm. “Hmmm . . .”

“You're welcome,” Mama Pearl said with a chuckle. “Good night.”

Eleanor shook her head and walked out the door, smiling. She paused when she heard voices in the living room and thought about saying good night but felt uneasy about seeing Dwight again. So she took the easy way out and hurried to her room.

Hungry, Eleanor took the covering off the plate and dug into the brown stew chicken and rice like her life depended on it. “Thank you, Mama Pearl,” she muttered with her mouth full. Eleanor had been actually planning on sneaking back into the kitchen when everyone was asleep to get some food. Thank God she no longer had to wait that long to eat something.

She brushed her teeth after she ate and changed into her nightgown. Feeling full and more relaxed, she climbed onto her bed and reached for her textbook that she left there. It was time to get back to business.

Fully engrossed in her textbook, Eleanor jumped when she heard a knock on her bedroom door. She glanced at the clock on the wall and realized she had been studying for over two hours.

The knocking came again. “Coming,” Eleanor yelled. She put down her book and swung her legs over the bed.
I bet it's Omar coming to give me gripe about tonight,
she thought as she walked to the door, pulling it open. “Bighead, what do you—” Her eyes bugged in her head when they met Dwight's twinkling eyes.

“So, I'm Bighead, huh?” Dwight said with his signature, sexy grin.

“Hmmm, I . . . I thought you were Omar,” Eleanor stuttered. She was mortified. “Sorry.”
If only the ground could just open up and swallow me right now.

“Nothing to be sorry about,” Dwight said smoothly. “I just wanted to say good night and thank you for the delectable dinner.”

“Thank me?”

“Yes, I was told that you did most of the cooking.” Dwight winked at her.

“Oh, yes. Hmmm, you're welcome,” Eleanor said flustered. “Well, good night.”

“Okay, bye,” Dwight replied softly, still rooted to the spot, staring intently at her.

Eleanor looked away shyly. “I . . . I have to get back to my studying.”

“Sure, sorry,” he said in a low voice. “It was really a pleasure meeting you.”

“Thanks. Bye.” Eleanor quickly closed the door and pressed her back firmly against it. Eyes closed, she took deep breaths, her heart pounding in her chest. “I have to stay focused on what's important,” Eleanor whispered adamantly. “I can't allow anything or anyone to interfere with that.” With that registered in her brain, she went back to her textbook. However, it took awhile before she was able to focus. For some strange reason, Dwight Humphrey just kept popping up in her mind.