Godforsaken: Book 1 (Shade of Light) (18 page)

“He has never returned. He won,” Raphael
added mournfully. “Eve followed his sign, she managed to get Adam
to sin. Father was incensed, and he announced that if any of his
sons dared to follow Lucifer down to Earth, they would never be
forgiven.” He trailed off, but Lily had far more questions to
ask.

“Where was Samael? What did he do?” she
asked. Here was her chance to learn about the gray-winged
creation.

Raphael looked at her. “You truly think he
loves you,” he said with a grin. “Then you should know that first,
Father created Lucifer, then Michael after him. They are both the
eldest angels. Then he created Gabriel, me, Uriel, Raguel, Remiel
and Saraqael. The last one he created was born long after us.
Samael was born when the Garden of Eden was created, by the time it
had its own resident–a human, Adam. Samael was the last angel of
the Great Nine. The archangels’ circle was closed with him. He was
born later, because Father wanted the last one be ideal, to give
him all those things that he hadn’t given to anyone of us. When
Samael opened his eyes the first time, Lucifer was the first being
who greeted him. Nobody knows what they said to each other. Both of
them are fond of their secrets.”

“And when Samael came to be presented to his
other brothers and Heaven, that was the moment when Father named
him as the cleverest of any of his creations. Samael's green eyes
itched for knowledge, his essence wanted to understand everything.
Every detail. I believe he rushed down after Lucifer because Heaven
couldn't give him everything he wanted to know. That day, we lost
the first and the last members of the Great Nine.

“The next time we saw both of them was in
the time of the War of Heaven. Our two brothers had encircled
Heaven with their army, their Sons of Perdition. They had even
broken in through the Golden Gates. I don’t know what happened to
Samael, but he betrayed Lucifer. Michael was the commander of the
army of Heaven. He commanded us, the other brothers who had stayed
with Father. In the greatest fight of the history of Heaven,
Michael defeated Lucifer, and he was thrown down to Earth.

“Father wanted him to be separated from man.
There were new rules written in the book of the Torah, and Lucifer
was locked in his own world called Hell, also known as Hades, while
his fellows could roam over Earth. But there were old rules which
remained written in the Torah too.” Lily shifted, following Raphael
with a great interest. “There was Eve’s female heir. It seemed
Lucifer wouldn’t have a way out of Hell anymore, but Eve’s heir was
his chance to escape. If his fellows found her and brought her to
him, the Gates of Eden would open for Lucifer. And that means the
fall of Heaven forever.”

Lily felt as if her throat had dried up. She
gulped loudly. “But why did Samael set him up? If the victory was
almost in their hands–”

“That time, Lucifer wasn’t strong enough,”
Raphael interrupted. “He might have fallen even if Samael had stood
side by side with him. Michael was stronger, the seven archangels
were not a simple foe to overcome.”

“What has changed then?” Lily inquired
rapidly.

Raphael averted his eyes. The question was
simple, but answering it was too difficult. He struggled onto his
feet. Lily followed after him quickly. The monk turned back to her
and made a step ahead.

“Samael is right, time changes everything,”
he murmured. “Everyone has a purpose, but nobody knows what Samael
needs. What was it that made him betray Lucifer? He never shared it
with me, but he still got a second chance to prove himself. Father
entrusted the Gates of Eden to him. Of course Michael was enraged,
giving the most vulnerable side of Heaven to the one he deemed a
traitor.”

“Time passed,” he went on remembering, “and
it showed that Samael was the ideal person for Eden. He belongs in
neither Heaven, nor Hell, he’s absolutely independent. He doesn’t
follow the rules of the Torah, but by kidnapping you he brought the
old rules back into play. Lucifer has every right to rise out of
Hell and come after you–”

“And once he has me, he will cross into
Eden, won’t he?” Lily guessed gloomily.

“Precisely that. He still believes that his
love for Eve’s heir will help him create things such as Father has
created. But Michael believes that Lucifer just wants Heaven to
fall to prove to Father that he was always right.”

“But Samael won’t let him do that, will he?”
The words fled out of her mouth before she could hold them. She
relied upon Samael now, but she didn’t know why. Lily realized that
only Samael could help her survive, that only his love would
protect her.

“Samael?” Raphael chortled. “If I were you,
I would never trust him. The emotionless ones are the most
dangerous in our system, Lily.” Raphael peered back over his
shoulder, his brown eyes gleaming now. “Love is unknown to him.
He’s a creature without a heart, the only unearthly creature that
doesn’t recognize any feeling at all, so far. Angels are beguiling
creatures, they have spatial charm, they possess great magic. Don’t
trust the feeling Samael has woken up in you. Be prepared for
everything.”

He trailed off, put his hands together and
strode away before Lily could open her mouth. She remained alone in
the quiet corridor, with only her own thoughts for company. Raphael
had given her a lot of answers, but to her surprise, her questions
had only multiplied.

Night was falling outside the window. Lily
herself was lying on the bed, dreamless, preoccupied and gazing at
the ceiling. Samael had left without telling her what to do, and
Raphael was somewhere in the church. Or maybe he had left too,
leaving her alone in the empty, soulless building that connected
Earth with Heaven.

She wondered if she was really supposed to
be with Lucifer. Why would she be? It was Satan himself – the
cruelest and the ugliest creature, she'd always heard, but
according to Raphael, Lucifer had been fighting for his love. Could
a person who had struggled for love be truly bad?

But her heart was beating for another
unearthly creation – Samael. Was he interested in her or not, and
were his words about loving her true? She came to the understanding
that living without him was the same as death. But she hadn’t had a
chance to say that to him, and she was scared that he would never
hear her words again.

Raphael had been right. Somehow, Samael was
playing with her emotions. She couldn’t be in love with a creature
she knew nothing about. Well, she knew some things, but nothing
good. The few facts she had about him painted him a bad, cruel
angel that did everything with purpose. He had set up God, then
done the same to Lucifer. Now he was alone, an unearthly creature
wandering over Earth. What was his purpose?

Lily sat up nervously. Nothing was torturing
her so much as sitting and waiting. Standing, she came up to the
window – the yard was dark now. Although the streetlamps were on,
the light seemed to be unable to penetrate the unseen border of the
church's reign. What if this was a sign that Lucifer was
approaching, or worse, that he or his fellows were already here?
There might be Beelzebub down there now, waiting for her.

Her stomach dropped unpleasantly, knowing
that this time Samael might not rescue her. She searched the sky
desperately, hoping to see Samael fall down, but the sky was dark
and calm.
What were the angels doing? What were they preparing
for her up there?
Maybe they had found out that she was the
wrong person and that they should just let her live her life.

Lily tore her eyes from the sky and hurried
to find her cell phone. She had to know the truth of her past. She
called her aunt. If somebody knew the truth, it had to be her.

“Hello dear,” Aunt Agnes responded.

“Hi. Are you okay over there?” Lily’s
asked.

“Yeah,” Agnes replied. “You seem worried.
What’s happened?”

“Nothing. I just called to ask you
something, Auntie,” Lily said quickly. She approached the window
again. The same darkness and calmness lingered outside.

“I’m all ears, dear.”

“Did my parents die in an accident?” There
was a pause, just three seconds which felt like a minute for
Lily.

“Why do you ask?” Aunt Agnes sounded
surprised and worried. “What’s wrong, darling?”

“Just tell me the truth,” Lily said in a
dead voice. Her voice wandered out the window and filled the yard.
The darkness swallowed it in.

Again a pause. Aunt Agnes seemed bewildered.
Impatiently, Lily waited for the answer. She felt that her aunt was
keeping a secret from her, but was she truly?

“You know something you don’t want to tell
me, Auntie.” Lily broke the silence and gambled. “Please, it's
important that I know. I have to hear the truth.”

“Listen, Lily, dear,” she began, “you need
to relax. I don’t know what you're talking about. Why are you doing
this? Are you drunk, baby?”

“Don’t fuckin’ pull my leg, Aunt,” Lily
bawled, tears breaking loose from her eyes. “You knew who they
were, you knew that one day they would come after me. And you
didn’t tell me. Did you think I could escape my destiny?”

“What kind of destiny are you talking about,
Lily?” Agnes’s sobbing voice came from the other side of the line.
“I took you from the hospital. I was called and notified about the
accident that happened to my sister and I rushed to the hospital
for you. That was the most terrible ride of my life. I already knew
that my sister was dead, as did your father. And I came to the
realization that you were going to be my child. I wouldn’t let
anyone else adopt you, because I loved you. I know this story, what
else do you want to hear from me?”

Lily kept sobbing soundlessly, the phone
held tight to her ear. But she was still so sure that her aunt was
lying, she must know the truth – but what if she didn’t?

“Auntie, I don’t believe you,” Lily
muttered. “You should’ve known, you should’ve.”

The sound of Aunt Agnes’s weeping finally
reached her. Lily was waiting patiently, but her blood was rushing
fast, with the same words repeating in her head over and over –
she should’ve known.

“She knows nothing about your destiny,” a
familiar voice flooded the room from behind.

Her stomach slammed into her spine. Lily
jerked around, and a green-eyed face framed by brown hair broke
into her view. Seeing Samael, she forgot about the phone and the
sobbing aunt on the line. Her tears evaporated from her face as
though being pushed away by the happiness that enveloped her at the
sight of Samael.

“Lily,” Aunt Agnes finally spoke. “Are you
still there?”

“Yeah,” she stuttered. “I’m sorry, Auntie, I
was wrong. I’ve got to go now.”

“Lily, wait.”

“I need to go. Please, forget what I
said.”

The phone slid out of her hand and fell to
the bed. Her eyes pierced into him. She felt as though the darkness
crawling in from the yard was knocked out by Samael, and she was
safe now. Seeing his handsome face and clever eyes she felt
comfortable, the fear that had been conquering her soul giving way.
Maybe Samael wasn’t interested in saving her, maybe last night was
only a game he liked to play with other girls, but Lily still felt
an inexplicable safety near him.

The door was closed. Samael stood by it,
dressed in black trousers, a shirt and shoes. He had one hand
thrust into his trousers’ pocket. With his free hand, he brushed
his flyaway hair back, allowing Lily to clearly see his eyes. His
lips looked blue. The desire to taste them grew in her throat. She
flung herself into his arms unaware of whether he wanted her there,
or whether he had come to love her.

Samael accepted her, he hugged her heartily
and pressed her against his chest. Finding herself wrapped in his
protective embrace, Lily was flooded with happiness and felt as if
she was alive again. His smell conquered her mind, making her
forget every odd and unearthly occurrence that had come into her
life since the day before.

“I missed you,” she whispered
wholeheartedly, closing her eyes and hugging him tighter.

Samael’s eyes widened as if he didn’t
believe what he had heard. It took him several seconds to find his
voice again.

“You’re my life,” he said back.

Lily pulled her face from his chest and
looked up uneasily. Were those words true?

“I won’t let anybody harm you, Lily,” Samael
went on seriously. His remarkable green eyes darkened as though
angry clouds were gathering in them. “No one – not Lucifer, not the
archangels – will possess you. I swear to you – you will live.”

The change in his expression showed his
resolution. Samael was to enter into the upcoming war for one
purpose and one purpose only –
to save her
.

There are a lot of attractive, decent
looking guys in the world outside this church, why had she fallen
in love with someone so inhuman?
Lily thought. But maybe this
was her fate, this was God’s will to follow. Lily stood up on her
toes, encircled his neck with her arms, and covered his lips with
hers. Her breath stopped as he answered her passionately. He lifted
her up. Lily circled her legs around his waist and exhaled with a
loud moan. She kissed him greedily, as if somebody might come and
take him away from her.

Samael stepped ahead, and then they were
both already on the bed. Lily kept him close with her legs strongly
encircling him, her tongue still in his mouth.

Samael paused from the kiss, and Lily
inhaled rapidly, then opened her eyes. Nothing had changed on his
face except his eyes. Their color shifted, and now Lily realized
what was going on in his mind. He wanted her, he wanted her more
than anything he had in his endless existence.

“Take me.” Her breath left her lungs in a
hissing rush as she longed to satisfy his hungry eyes.