Godforsaken: Book 1 (Shade of Light) (8 page)

She slid out under the covers, took a deep
breath, and left the room. Nancy was waiting for her roommate,
having already set the table for breakfast.

“Hey, sweetheart, how are you?” She hurried
out of the kitchen, examining Lily's tired face. “Didn’t you sleep
well?”

“No,” Lily replied honestly.

“What’s happening to you, Lily?” Nancy
asked. She blew out an exasperated breath, “I didn’t think you’d be
as obsessed with him as you are. He doesn't deserve your
tears.”

“This isn’t about him,” Lily lied. “I’m just
a little sick.”

“Maybe you should home,” Nancy supposed,
brushing Lily’s hair behind her ear. “I’ll tell the
professors–”

“No, no,” Lily cut her off. “I’m coming. I
don’t want to stay alone all day long.”

“If you need me, I can stay with you.”

“No. Just let me take a bath and we can
go.”

“Are you sure?” Nancy asked, looking roughly
into Lily’s eyes.

“Yeah,” she pulled her hand away from her
friend.

Nancy's eyes dropped to rest on a birthmark
on the back of Lily’s right shoulder.

“That's neat, you know?” Nancy called after
her. Lily stopped and turned around. “I mean your birthmark.”

“What's neat about it?”

“It looks like the Holy Grail or something.
Just look at it!”

Lily just grinned and disappeared from
Nancy’s sight behind the bathroom door. Nancy returned to the
kitchen.

Lily joined Nancy in the kitchen after a few
minutes, dressed in blue jeans and a pink shirt. Nancy filled her
plate with fried eggs and placed it in front of her. Lily began
eating in silence.

“Do you have any plans for tonight?” Nancy
asked.

“I'm going to try to finish my essay for
marketing,” Lily replied.

“Can’t it wait for one night?” Lily peered
up at Nancy, a question in her blue eyes. “Mike and I are going out
to a club again, to have a little fun. I thought you could catch up
with us.” Lily opened her mouth, but Nancy cut her off with a quick
gesture, “Alen won’t come, I promise. And we’re going to a
different club. I just want you to drink and have fun and forget
about that son of a bitch. Although I will admit, he was a really
hot son of a bitch.”

Lily couldn’t help smiling. She shook her
head and looked away from her friend, still wearing a little smile
on her face.

“What?” Nancy asked, grinning.

“Maybe I should tell Mike about how you
feel,” Lily said with a gloating voice.

“If you do that, I’ll kill you, you know
that,” Nancy widened her eyes.

“Somehow I doubt that,” Lily looked at Nancy
sarcastically. “Thanks for the invitation, but you know, I don’t
want to bother you and Mike.”

“Hey, how many times do I have to tell you
that you don’t bother us?” Nancy said. “We don’t give a shit if
you’re around us or not. I’ll kiss him whether you’re around or
not. I’ll make love with him whether you're around or not.”

“Thanks for the invitation.”

“I didn’t mean exactly that.”

“Okay, I'll go out to the club with you. But
I'll tell Mike all about that hot guy and the dirty dreams you’ve
had about him.” Lily rolled her eyes at Nancy.

“I didn’t tell you anything about my dirty
dreams,” Nancy sounded surprised and confused.

“But I can imagine. I can make up a good,
dirty dream,” Lily sniggered.

“That's called blackmailing–”

“I know,” Lily interrupted quietly and took
the fork to continue her breakfast.

“Okay, okay. But one day I’ll make you
regret it,” Nancy jabbed her finger toward Lily, but couldn’t hold
her smile for long. Of course she knew that Lily was kidding, Lily
would never share any of Nancy’s secrets. Especially not with
Mike.

“I hope it won’t be soon.”

“You can pray it won't be,” Nancy said,
returning to her breakfast as well. “But I haven’t gotten your
answer about tonight. Are you going?”

Lily stopped chewing and put the fork on the
table.

“I don’t know. Maybe.” She said it just loud
enough to be heard.

“Think quickly. It’d be better for you to
get out and have some fun. It’ll be much worse if you stay home
alone with your memories of him. Believe me,” Nancy hunched over
the table and got up in Lily's face, “I know what I’m talking
about.”

“No doubt,” Lily raised her eyes. “Before
Mike, you had a lot of practice.”

“Exactly. But,” she lifted her index finger,
“I didn’t just sleep with every fuckin’ idiot.”

“Okay, okay, let’s do what you want,” Lily
laughed soundlessly under her breath.

“What?”

“Nothing. I said I’m coming.”

“Really? That’s great,” Nancy replied
happily. “I’ll tell Mike.” She reached for her cell phone lying on
the couch nearby.

“If he brings Alen, I’ll just leave you at
the entrance. I’m serious, Nancy,” Lily’s eyes narrowed and became
filled with disgust when she mentioned Alen.

“Don’t worry about him,” Nancy assured
Lily.

* * *

All the way to college, Nancy talked about
the oncoming evening. She even suggested a few outfits for Lily to
wear. For Lily it made no difference what kind of clothes she would
wear- anything other than nakedness was fine in her book – but she
tried to keep the conversation going with her friend until they got
to their station. As the college came into view, Lily changed the
subject, saying something about her essays and received a sharp
look from Nancy in reply.

“Promise me that you’ll forget about your
studying – and that guy – for tonight.” Nancy stopped in front of
the gates that lead to the college’s main courtyard.

“Okay,” Lily stammered.

“Good,” Nancy said, walking into the
courtyard. Lily followed her in silence, keeping a distance of two
steps between them.

Although Lily had promised not to think
about Samael, as soon as she left Nancy, thoughts of the green-eyed
stranger began scrambling her brain all over again, as though he
had been patiently waiting for Lily to be alone. Lily couldn’t
understand her desire for that man. She barely knew him, but
somehow it seemed to her that she had fallen for him. Was it even
possible?
Maybe Nancy was right
, Lily thought,
maybe it
would be better to try to have some fun
. Lily did hope that a
night out would help her to forget the pleasurable moment she had
experienced in Samael’s car, the seconds which had only continued
to torture her soul for two days already.

Struggling against her memories of Samael,
Lily tried to sink into studying.

Finally it was lunch time. Lily put her
notebooks back into her rucksack and headed down to meet Nancy at
the entrance as usual. Nancy was already there, alone again,
looking up something on her smartphone. Lily approached her the
moment that Nancy finished her search and placed the phone into her
handbag.

“Hey,” she cried out happily as Lily
strolled into her view, “how was your morning?”

“Same as usual,” Lily replied, starting
forward and out through the entrance.

“Yeah, mine too.” Nancy caught up to her
quickly.

It was a sunny day outside, and there was no
sign of yesterday’s rain. The warm sun had forced away any kind of
cloudy weather, and the shining horizon raised Lily’s spirits.

“Listen,” Nancy said, “I forgot to tell you
that we need to go grocery shopping. Our refrigerator is empty. You
don’t want to starve, do you?”

“Maybe I want to,” Lily murmured and, seeing
Nancy’s narrowed eyes, continued quickly. “We’ll go after
class.”

“Okay. That sounds reasonable,” Nancy
nodded. “So we’ll go shopping, then go home and get ready until
Mike comes for us.”

“As you wish,” Lily replied, climbing down
the stairs in front of the college entrance.

They took the general pathway leading out to
the college yard. Nancy proceeded to talk about what they needed to
buy at the store, and Lily just nodded to every question or
muttered “yes.” Despite Lily's sullen presence, Nancy’s mood
continued to match the sunny weather. She was filled with warmth
and ready to enjoy the day. Perhaps Lily could stand to learn from
Nancy?

Nancy’s breezy voice trailed off abruptly.
She stopped dead, snatching Lily’s arm. Lily peered back at her
friend in surprise and saw her jaw drop. Nancy’s eyes grew wide and
shocked, gazing at the gates.

“Hey, what’s up with you? Have you seen a
ghost?” Lily teased.

“Look who’s there.” Nancy pointed toward the
gates.

Lily spun around. In the same instant her
heart stopped beating, the air vanished, and it became impossible
to breathe. Everything around her stopped moving, even time, quiet
descended on her ears as if the world had paused itself, and she
had been moved to some other faraway place.

There was Samael, standing at the gates,
wearing black trousers and a white shirt. He was as attractive as
he had been when Lily had seen him in the club. Though his green
eyes were hidden behind his sunglasses, it didn’t prevent Lily from
feeling their presence watching her. For a split second, Lily
thought about running at him and throwing herself into his arms,
running a hand through his light brown hair, and kissing the most
delicious lips in the world. She had to do her utmost to stay still
and remember to breathe.

“Has he come for you?” Nancy’s voice brought
Lily back to her senses.

“What?” she stammered.

“You must have made an impression on him,
otherwise he wouldn’t have come,” Nancy pressed her lips together
and raised her eyebrows. “At least, I can’t see any wings on him,
can you?”

“Shut up,” Lily shot back to her, but a
slight grin curled her lips.

“What are you waiting for? Don’t you want to
go and meet him?”

“How am I supposed to know he’s come here
for me, Nancy?” Lily burst out in distraction. “Maybe he has a
brother or a sister in this college and he's come–”

“Yeah, yeah,” Nancy interrupted
sarcastically. “Suddenly, he'd have an inexplicable sibling at our
college of all places. Don’t you think that sounds a little more
farfetched?”

“Nancy, it has to be a coincidence.”

“Not with him.” Nancy took her friend's hand
in hers. “Do you want me to come with you? Maybe it'd be easier
with someone else around.”

“Do you think he’s some kind of maniac?”
Lily asked, perplexed.

“What?” Nancy said in shock. “No... at
least, I don't think so. But I’ll take a picture of you with him
and if you disappear tonight I’ll go to the police with it.
Besides, he's already got the world at his feet – why would he want
to risk all of that by going crazy or something. What for?”

“Yeah, I guess it was a stupid thought,”
Lily muttered.

“But you're not going to go and meet him
alone, are you?”

“I don’t know, Nancy. Help me,” Lily begged,
her voice trembling.

“Okay,” Nancy straightened herself up and
made a step forward. “Let’s go together. If he's here for you,
he’ll say something, don’t worry.”

“Maybe we should change our path and go
around him?” Lily whispered, padding after her friend.

“No. I don’t want him to think you’re a
coward or something,” Nancy said. She frowned back at Lily. “Come
on,” she insisted, hauling Lily toward the gates.

Samael remained motionless while the two
friends were approaching him. Lily didn’t dare to look at him, but
she still couldn't quash the idea that this man had really come
here for her. Her heart pumped faster and faster with every
approaching step.

“Nancy, maybe–” she stammered nervously.

“No,” Nancy shushed her with a whisper.

And then they were almost in front of
Samael. Lily couldn’t help peering at him.
Is he looking at me?
Does he recognize me? Will he speak to me?
She wondered all
this in a second, regarding him from head to toe.

Samael flinched and finally moved his head,
his lips parted from each other, and he uttered Lily’s name. Lily
stopped dead in her tracks.

“Lily,” Samael said a second time. “May I
speak to you for a minute, please?”

Lily stood rooted like a statue, gazing
unblinkingly at his sunglasses.
Nancy was right
, she
thought,
he came here for me
.

“Do you know each other?” Nancy forestalled
her friend, pretending that she didn’t recognize him. Lily was glad
Nancy had said something. She felt dizzy and didn't trust herself
to speak.

“Yes, we've met once before,” Samael replied
calmly, not looking at Nancy.

“Lily?” Nancy looked over at her for an
answer.

Lily cleared her throat. “Yeah, Nancy, it’s
alright. You can go,” she gave a brief look at her friend.

“Okay,” Nancy agreed, hiding a smile before
her expression hardened. “But if you hurt her, I’ll kick your ass,”
she said, jabbed her finger toward Samael. Receiving no answer, she
then spun around and went off. Out of the corner of her eye Lily
saw Nancy take a photo of them together.

Lily and Samael stood in a silence, waiting
until Nancy was out of earshot, then Lily spoke first:

“How did you know my name?”

“It wasn’t a difficult thing to find out,”
Samael said almost affectionately.

“And how did you know where to find me?”

Samael grinned waspishly. “You know, I'm
capable of far more difficult things than discovering your name or
whereabouts–”

“Yeah, of course,” Lily interrupted curtly,
although she didn’t want to seem wholly rude. “With the money
you’ve got, I guess it wouldn’t be too difficult to intrude into
someone’s life.”

“I could do that without the money.” Samael
didn’t seem offended or even concerned. “I just wanted to find you
and apologize for what happened the other night. I was rude.”

“You shouldn’t have to apologize,” Lily
exclaimed before she could stop herself. “You wanted a little fun,
and at first I let you have it. It was my fault.”