Good Greek Girls Don't (14 page)

‘I'm all yours.'

He has finally sat down beside me. I don't plan on letting him leave my side all night. I can't believe that I'm feeling this way. I have never before felt like I belong exactly where I am. I have never before felt like I could let my guard down with a guy. With Chris I can just be myself. I can dream for the first time in a long time. I know it's only been a month, but what an amazing month it has been. I don't know how long this is going to last, I don't know how long it will be before I do something stupid and make Chris want to look elsewhere; all I know is that no matter how short or long a time Chris is going to be in my life, I am going to make the most of every minute that I have with him.

‘What are you thinking, Des?'

How does he know that I am thinking anything at all?

‘Nothing at all.'

‘Liar.'

How can he see through me like that? Have I lost all of my powers? He's melted the ice queen and shattered the veil of mystery that I hide behind. Actually he did that from our very first date.

‘Whatever it is, it must be good – you've got the biggest grin on your face.'

‘Why don't you come here and wipe that grin off my face then?' I'm feeling bold tonight.

‘With pleasure.' Hmm yummy, those lips are what I have been waiting for all night. Chris's kisses make me melt right down to the core. I still stand by my reaction to the first time he kissed me: if a kiss can lead a woman to orgasm, it's a Chris kiss. Tonight is definitely going to be a night to remember.

Only problem is, he doesn't seem to be picking up on the signals that I am sending him. Hasn't he released that tonight is the night? Maybe I'm being too subtle. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere and I did not spend two hundred bucks on lingerie that he is not going to get to see. I think I am going to have to be a bit less delicate in my hints and take the bull by its horns, so to speak. After all, we've been on this couch for half an hour and we haven't progressed past the heavy petting and occasional grope. I think I better let Chris know that I mean business here tonight. Bingo. Slight move of the hand downward – tells Chris everything that I need him to know.

It doesn't have the desired effect. He's standing up and straightening his clothes.

‘What's wrong, Chris?' Doesn't he want me as much as I want him? Maybe he's just not attracted to me. Oh, God, I've made a total dick of myself. I think I best find a rock to crawl under and die. I just assumed that Chris and I were on the same page. Maybe I'm speed-reading and getting ahead of myself.

‘Babe, I think maybe we should cool off.' He's having a hard time getting those words out. He's short of breath. For a guy who doesn't want me, he's sure as hell acting like he does. ‘How about a walk on the beach?'

I don't want to walk on the beach at this point of the night. I get it now. This is the point where I usually back off. Doesn't he get it? I'm not backing off tonight. I guess I do need to spell it out. But I can't. I don't know the words to use.

‘I don't want to walk on the beach. I want to stay here with you.' Isn't it obvious to him yet? I better ask. ‘Did I do something wrong, Chris?'

‘Des, I'm human. I'm a man. You keep teasing me like that and I'm going to explode. You can't take me to the point of no return and then pull back.'

‘I'm not teasing.' There, I said it. This is it. Maybe I should go one step further and show him that I mean business tonight. Two more shirt buttons have the desired effect I think. ‘Don't you want to see what I bought today?' Oh, yeah, he's back, I've got those lips on my neck. I'm back to melting.

‘Don't do it unless you mean it, Des.'

‘I mean it.'

I can't believe I am lying here in my baby's arms. This feels so good. So right. ‘Are you okay?' Okay? I'm better than okay – I'm amazing.

‘Hmm.' I hope that answers Chris because at the moment I can't string two words together. I think he knows just how okay I am by the way I am snuggling up to him. I can't get close enough. I need to feel him all over me.

‘You staying here with me tonight?'

Wild horses couldn't drag me away. But what if Chris doesn't want me to stay? What if I've outstayed my welcome?

‘Was hoping to.' I must be recovering from my euphoria. That was more than one word.

‘You've lied to your mother about where you are tonight.' Sometimes I hate the fact that he seems to know me so well. Is nothing sacred with this guy?

‘Must you ruin a perfect evening by mentioning my mother?' It sends shivers up and down my spine to hear her mentioned. This is a Delagiannis family-free zone thank you very much. I think I should just keep Chris occupied so we don't risk jinxing tonight by talking about my family. I think I know of a way or two to achieve that. ‘I have a much better idea on how to continue tonight.'

‘Really? Would you care to share it with me?'

Der, who else would I be sharing this idea with. I pick up the box of condoms from the floor beside the bed and throw it at Chris. ‘Why don't you pick the next colour?' Why is Chris laughing so hard? What on earth is so funny? I'm trying to be sexy and alluring and he is laughing. ‘What?'

‘You bought a jumbo box of condoms without passing out? Or let me guess, you got a friend to buy them for you?'

Yeah, he knows me.

‘So who was it? Who did you make suffer for your evil plans?'

‘Don't start me. Does the who or how really matter?' Let's see, if I start at Chris's neck and work my way down, the only how that will matter is how big a dent we make on the box.

I can't believe that it is morning and that I am still in my baby's arms. This is real. I didn't imagine it all; it's not just another fantasy. This is reality. This is
my
reality. It's amazing that after only a short time I could feel so happy, so content, so at peace here with Chris. I hardly know him, yet I can't imagine my life without him in it. It's so much fuller now, so much richer. I can't believe the crap that I did to try and fill my life before I met Chris. The all-night drinking sessions were never as fulfilling as this. They never even come close. Nothing comes close to this.

‘Hey you.' Chris's voice is so sexy first thing in the morning. ‘You're here?'

Where else would I be? ‘I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.' Not for a few more hours at least.

‘I like the sound of that, babe.'

He's holding me so tight now that I think he might cut off my circulation. He can't be ready to go again already? First thing in the morning? After all the activity last night he should be exhausted. Oh wow, he is ready!

‘I'm falling more in love with you every day babe.'

He's falling in love with me? How? Why?

I couldn't say anything back to Chris. Why couldn't I say it back? All I did was grin at him and kiss him deeply, wanting to shut him up, wanting to feel him close to me. I didn't want to talk. Now it's hit me like a tonne of bricks. How can Chris say something like that so soon? How can he possibly feel it so soon? Can I believe it? Can I trust it? Can I trust what I'm feeling? God, I don't even know what I'm feeling.

I locked myself in my bedroom as soon as I got home, scared that my mother would be able to see right through me and know that I wasn't at Ricki's last night. All she would need to do is take one close look at me and she would know exactly where I was and what I was up to. And I don't want my mother to ruin the magic for me. Even though Chris has thrown me for a loop, it's still magic. 

I don't know what to do. Does Chris think that I ignored his comment? I just couldn't answer him. Besides, it wasn't a question. It was a statement. And I didn't have anything that I could respond with. Am I falling in love with Chris? Or am I already there? All I know is that I don't want to lose him, even though he will probably run a mile if he ever finds out about Denny. Chris knows that I have an ex, but he doesn't know all the sordid details. It's not something that I can tell him about.

So, I think there's probably no point in telling him what I feel for him. I can't put myself on the line like that. It'll only hurt all the more when he's not there.

I need to clear my head. I need to stop thinking and analysing all of this. Maybe then the answers will be clearer.

I wander downstairs and into the kitchen, where Yiayia is making cakes. She smiles when I walk in, knowing that I'm here to join her. This is a bit of a tradition with my grandmother. Every Sunday afternoon, after lunch, ever since I was a kid, I would be at her place making cakes and sweets with her. She used to kick my grandfather out of the kitchen and away we would go. When I was younger Effie and Mum would join us, but once Effie got married neither of them seemed to have the time for it anymore. So it became Yiayia and me. No matter how big the hangover, I was not allowed to bail on her. Now that she lives with us, I only have to go downstairs, but it still remains our time.

It was during these Sunday afternoon sessions that she taught me how to make the walnut cake that Chris likes so much and many other Greek cakes that she learnt to make when she was growing up in the village. We still make them village-style. My grandmother would kill me if I tried to introduce a food processor or frozen pastry into the equation. I wonder what she has planned for today.

‘Despina, concentrate!'

Huh? Oh crap, I'm only supposed to lightly toast the sesame seeds, not have them end up looking like poppy seeds. Well, these are definitely not going into the
samousades
that we're making.

‘Sorry, Yiayia'. I just can't focus. Last night keeps replaying in my mind, over and over again and in slow motion. Damn it was good. Better than good, better than I could ever have imagined. But then this morning keeps creeping into my head. And those words. Three little words, one big meaning. In the world of romance novels and soap operas those words cue the romantic music and everything falls into place, but in the real world, in my world, it's not that simple.

I reach for another batch of sesame seeds. Hey, we're Greek, all necessary ingredients are bought in bulk so that in the event of an emergency you can make any cake or sweet you desire without having to do a mad dash to the supermarket.