Goodbye Secrets (The Lost & Found Series book #2) (17 page)

I follow Becca out and quickly get hypnotized by the tempo of her bum as she walks ahead of me. Hmm ... yes. Becca’s bum is definitely my type of bum! It’s beautifully round, as if it were a sculpture. It’s so soft and ... and ...
damn it!
I grab Becca’s hand to turn her around, then lean down and throw her over my shoulder like I’m a Neanderthal.

“Grayson, put me down!”

“You’re a wiggly thing, aren’t you?” I tease and slap her bum as I head up the stairs with her.

“Grayson!” she yells.

“I’ll put you down in two minutes, love.” I finish the last few stairs and head to our room where I happily place her on our bed. I stand up and pull my shirt off. I watch her drink in the sight of me in. I love seeing the want in her eyes.

“You seriously think I’m going to have sex with you after you were just salivating over Stacey’s nurse?” It still amazes me how Becca can flip her switch so quickly. Lust one minute can easily turn into disgust the next. I say nothing. I pull out my phone and take a picture of her. “What are you doing?” She throws her hands up. No matter how hard I try, I can’t help the smile that forms at my mouth.

“I’m recording a very rare occurrence,” I say as I label the picture
second time jealous
. I toss my phone onto the side table and thumb the button of my jeans open.

“Rare occurrence?” She’s annoyed. Possibly mad. Could be both.

“Yes, Becca, your jealousy is a rare occurrence. I like to capture it the moment it happens.” I smirk and allow my jeans to fall. I hook my thumbs under the band of my boxer briefs and pull them down.

Becca swallows hard and clears her throat. “I know what you’re doing, Grayson.”

“Good, sweetheart, that makes two of us.” I graze her cheek with the back of my knuckles. She swats my hand away. Oh, she’s angry, all right! I bite my lip and close my eyes—this is going to be so bloody fucking hot!

BECCA

I hand Melissa and Ryan my list for the British Aisles store. I think they are very grateful to get away from here for the day. I don’t blame them!

“Meliss, don’t forget the other!” I nudge her.

“I won’t.” She starts giggling, and I can’t help but join her.

“What are you two hens cackling on about?” Grayson comes up from behind and swats my ass.

“Girl stuff.” I give Melissa a hug.

Grayson shrugs at Ryan and pulls him in for a hug.

“I’m going to miss you, mate!” he declares.

Leave it to Grayson—he’s such an ass!

“See you guys later, and thanks again for doing this.” I roll my eyes and pull Grayson off of poor Ryan. We watch them head out the door.

“I was thinking we could go out for lunch today.” He wraps his arms around me.

“Yay!” I say sarcastically.

“I’m sorry, Becca, but at least it will get us out of the house.” I know he’s going stir-crazy as well.

“Grayson, this is all a little much. Why can’t we go out in daylight and do something fun? It snowed eight inches last night! Let’s go down to the McKinley Farm and go on a sleigh ride with Morgan. Come on, please?” I turn to him and place my hands on his upper arms. “We’ll have security with us!” I add, like anyone around here needs a reminder about that.

“Oh, Ms. Campbell, I do love how you beg.” He gives me a mischievous grin, and something tells me he’s not talking about the sleigh ride.

“So, that’s a yes?” I can barely contain my excitement.

“Yes, all right, love!” He kisses me.

“Sweetheart, this blanket smells awful! Do they ever wash it?” Grayson makes a foul face, and my only option is to giggle.

“What do you expect, baby? It’s on a horse-drawn sleigh all day.”

“Yes, I realize that, but how long do they wait to wash them? Yuck!” He pulls it off of us.

“We’ll keep each other warm, baby.” I snuggle into him as the sleigh takes off.

“Morgy, you warm enough, sweetheart? Do you want to snuggle with Mum and Dad?” He asks, although that would be tight.

“No, I’m okay, Daddy.” She smiles and sips her hot cocoa. “Mommy, remember last year when you dropped the hot cocoa all over yourself? You should have seen her, Daddy! She was covered ... face, hair, hands, clothes! You got it all over Ray, too! You two were literally a hot mess!” She laughs. I was laughing until she mentioned Ray. I dropped my hot cocoa because of him.

The girls wanted to sit together, so Ray and I shared the bench-like seat across from them. It was awkward for me because it was the first thing we had done together since our kiss six months before. The girls were laughing and telling secrets and completely ignoring us.

“Warm, Bec?” He put his arm around my shoulder and his free hand on my right leg, pulling me closer to him (for warming purposes, of course). Mental eye roll. I nodded, gripping my hot chocolate for protection ... I think. Not quite sure how I thought hot chocolate was going to protect me. I expect so much from chocolate. In the end, it just makes me feel like shit.

“I miss you, Becs. I miss your laugh. I miss your advice on everything, especially with Annie. I miss our talks. I miss all of our outings. I miss your theme songs. Look at our girls, Becca—they’re so happy, baby. They’re like sisters.” He took in a deep breath and rested his forehead up against my right temple. His hand suddenly felt higher on my leg, his thumb noticeably caressing the area it covered. I remember feeling trapped in a situation I asked him not to put me in.

“Becca, I love you. I will do whatever it takes. I will wait as long as you need me to. There’s no one else for me. You’re the only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.” He kissed my cheek. “You look so beautiful today, by the way.” I remember thinking, What was the point of throwing that comment in?

I was rendered speechless. How could he say all of these things to me? And in front of the girls, no less? I mean, they didn’t hear him, but what kind of response or reaction could I give him in front of them? He knew I didn’t want him to do this to me, that I wasn’t ready for a relationship or committing to the possibility of one.

As I stared at the red and green plaid wool blanket on our lap, I realized that was exactly why he did it in the presence of the girls. He knew I’d have no choice but to listen and not react poorly in front of them. His hand came out from the blanket and reached up for my face. He palmed my left cheek and brought my face to face his. I remember seeing Morgan’s eyes notice and go wide before I brought my gaze to him. I could’ve sworn I heard my nine-year-old telepathically say, Oh shit, Mom! How are you going to get out of this?

“Hot chocolate?” I asked quickly as Ray began to lean in. It was all I had! His eyes opened wide. I could see him fighting back a smile.

“Ladies first.” He gave me his boyish grin, then licked his lips. I took a very drawn-out sip, which made him chuckle a little. “Done?” He raised his eyebrows when I finally pulled the cup away from my lips.

“Yes. Here you go.” I offered the cup.

“No, I don’t want any from there.” He leaned in. “There’s some right here that looks delicious.” His thumb traced my bottom lip. He leaned in and kissed the corner of my mouth, then worked his way toward being fully on my lips. The death grip I bestowed upon my cup finally made it buckle. The hot chocolate prevailed at protecting me! We were covered in it, abruptly pulling him away from his intentions. The girls laughed their asses off, causing us to laugh.

“Death by chocolate. Who would’ve thought it could mean killing a moment. Huh, Ray?” I said it jokingly, but I knew my face showed Ray how I really felt, and he got the message loud and clear. His expression looked as if I had ripped the sunshine out of the sky and shoved it up his ass. He knew better than to corner me like that! And to use the girls to guarantee success ... well, that was just unacceptable! The rest of the sleigh ride took forever. Even the girls were asking if it was almost over.

We were supposed to go to lunch together that day, but given the many circumstances, we decided not to. Annie’s disappointment was more evident than Morgan’s. I felt bad and offered to keep Annie overnight, forgetting that the girls had school the next day. After Ray reminded me, I noticed he breathed a sigh of relief. We got into his truck and headed back to the inn. I stared straight ahead. Ray’s gaze bounced back and forth between me and the road.

“Why don’t you girls go in for a few minutes so Becca and I can talk?” he suggested as he pulled into a space. They bolted out of the truck before I could even object. Ray locked the doors. Kind of silly—I do know how to unlock a door. He leaned his head on the steering wheel on top of his clenched hands. “Okay, let me have it.” He sighed heavily in defeat.

“What’s there to say? You know what you did. You know how you did it. You know why you did it the way you did it! What is there left to say, Raymond?” I yelled. He smiled and bit his lip. “What is so funny?”

“I’d tell you, but with the way you are feeling right now, you’d probably hit me.” He laughed more to himself and shook his head.

“If you don’t tell me, it will drive me crazy, and then I will hit you for sure!” I snapped.

“True dat ... true dat.” He nodded thoughtfully, knowing I would laugh at one of our many inside jokes. I remember getting pissed at myself for caving so easily. I hit him for it. He caught my hand when I yanked it back, and I tried to pull away. “Stop.” It’s the way he said it that made me cave in again. It was low and sexy, and it ignited butterflies in my belly that sent a bolt of electricity to my groin.

“Why were you laughing?” I asked, hoping to pull his focus away from kissing the top of my hand over and over again.

“Whenever you call me by my full name, whether it’s in shock, or you’re appalled, or mad, it’s like the effect has a direct line to my groin.”

“Raymond!” I couldn’t even help myself. I was shocked, not only by what he said, but that he basically just described what he had done to me.

“Wow, did that hurt?” He chuckled.

“What? Did what hurt?” I was annoyed.

“The mental head slap you just gave yourself.” He laughed. Damn it, I was laughing with him. “Oh, Becca, baby, can’t you see how good we are together?”

“Ray, don’t call me that.” I sighed.

“Becca, I have called you ‘baby’ since the day I met you!” It was his turn to be annoyed.

“It gives people ideas,” I tried to reason.

“Oh wait, that gives people ideas?” he asked, and I nodded. “Hmm. Well, let me ask you this!” Ray had his “sit and spin” look on his face. “What kind of idea do you think people get when they see us grocery shop together, go school-clothes shopping, attend town events, pick up each other’s kids on a regular basis, or attend church together? Do I need to continue on with the list? Because I can keep going, baby!”

I just sat there, doe-eyed and watching his anger and irritation unfold.

“Yes, I think I will!” he said. “We pick up each other’s prescriptions, we are each other’s emergency contact, and we are listed as the other parent to call for our kids. Nobody gets any business from the inn for maintenance or repairs because I take care of it all! Eric the jeweler pulls out your client list when I walk through the door.”

“What’s that?” I asked. Damn ADD!

“A list of all the jewelry I’ve bought you to help he and I keep track. Becca, what idea do you think the townspeople have, baby?” I was speechless again. It doesn’t happen often, but most bask in the glory of it when it does. “Don’t bite your lip, baby.” He thumbed it free from my teeth, and I turned away. His face was so close to mine. His fingers traced my jawline and trailed down my neck. “You know what idea they have, baby? They think you’re in my bed at night ...” His lips followed the path of his fingers. “Oh, Bec, I want you in my bed. Please, I need you.”

And that was the point where I pushed him off and tried to unlock the door.

“The child lock is on, babe!” he snapped, and hit the button. “Go ahead, fucking run again! I’ll see you in six months, I guess!” He was pissed. I mean, really pissed! He had never been this mad at me.

“No, I’ll see you for Christmas Eve.” I didn’t want to hurt Annie again. Too.

“What about Christmas morning?” He pulled me away from the door.

“Yes, we’ll go to church.” I thought I was agreeing to our usual plans.

“Drive yourself! I don’t want anyone getting any ideas about us!”

I sat quietly, feeling guilty.

“Theme song?” I finally asked. Usually he likes to know.

“No, babe, I don’t have one.”

“No, I do. Do you want to know what it is?” I played with my fingers; his hands were still on my arms.

“What is it?” He chucked my chin so I’d look at him.

“‘Under Pressure’ by Queen and David Bowie.”

“I have been nothing but patient with you, Becca ... for years!” he said through gritted teeth. “Pressure? I’ll show you pressure!” he snapped as he hit the button to recline my seat and climbed on top of me all in the same move, I think. I remember begging him to stop and cursing his truck for having a passenger seat that reclines flat. He was between my legs, grinding into me. “See what you do to me, baby? Feel it?” He bit at my earlobe. My arms were pinned, his mouth all over my face and neck as he kept grinding. “Feel the pressure? Just wait until it’s inside of you.” At that point I had a flashback of George and began to cry.