Goofballs 4: The Mysterious Talent Show Mystery (4 page)

“We have to make up for lost time,” Mrs. Rinkle said. “Who has the scripts?”

“They’re in the office,” said Billy. He hustled offstage, came back with the scripts, and passed them out.

“Everyone in position,” Mrs. Rinkle said. “Scripts open. And … action!”

I have to say that the play
was
pretty good. It went like this.…

On cue, Violet made loud mouth noises.
BWAAAP! BWAAAP!

“Awesome!” Mrs. Rinkle said. “Joey, you are the official curtain raiser. Please raise the curtain!”

Joey grinned. “Yes, ma’am. I’ve always wanted to be an official curtain raiser!”

But when Joey tried to raise the curtain, the rope wouldn’t budge. “Hey! What’s wrong?”

“Maybe you’re not so official,” said Billy.

“You have to know the magic words,” said Brian. “Open sesame seed crackers!”

Joey tugged again, but the curtain didn’t go up. Then Brian and Joey tried tugging together. The curtain still didn’t go up.

“Step aside, weaklings,” said Mara. But when she tried pulling it, the curtain still didn’t go up.

Sparky leaped onstage and grabbed the rope between his teeth. It
still
didn’t go up.

Finally, we
all
hung on the curtain rope, and it
still-still-still
didn’t go up!

“What
is
the problem?” asked Mrs. Rinkle.

“Maybe the rope is stuck on the catwalk,” said Mara, gazing up behind the curtain.

At the word
cat
, Sparky growled and raced right up the stairs to the catwalk. There wasn’t any cat for him to find, but all at once he began barking and jumping.

“Goof! Goof!”

“Sparky found a clue!” I said.

“Hold on,” said Brian. He took out a very long, thin telescope made from drinking straws put together. It nearly reached the ceiling.

“The curtain rope is tied!” he said. “It’s deliberately tied to the catwalk railing!”

Deliberately
is a good mystery word. It means someone did something on purpose.

“Why would anyone do that?” asked Joey.

“Mystery number two,” whispered Mara.

I wrote it down.

Mrs. Rinkle paced the stage. “I don’t understand what’s happening here, but let’s please continue reading our play.”

So we started scene three.

“And now, Billy,” said Mrs. Rinkle, “it’s time for Mr. Monkey’s big speech.…”

Billy flipped to his page and said nothing.

“Speak up, Mr. Monkey,” said Violet.

“I can’t,” said Billy.

“Why not?” asked Tiffany.

“Because all my lines are gone!”

We all looked through our scripts and found that every one of Mr. Monkey’s lines was gone. As if they had never existed!

“That’s mystery number three!” said Kelly.

Mrs. Rinkle frowned big-time. “This is not awesome at all. I don’t know what’s going on, but let’s stop our rehearsal for today. Maybe tomorrow we’ll have a good one.”

“Of course it will be good,” said Tiffany. “I’ll have our costumes ready to try on.”

After Mrs. Rinkle left one way and the kids left the other, I turned to my friends.

“Goofballs, front and center!” I said.

“We can all be in the front,” said Brian, “but we can’t all be in the center. I call it!”

“I do!” said Kelly.

“I do!” said Mara.

They all jumped into the same seat in the front row. They looked like a Goofball sandwich with a Goofdog on top.

“Look,” I said, walking back and forth and reading my cluebook, “first, the guilty party hid Violet’s tuba. I remember Tiffany saying she didn’t like the sound. Maybe that’s a clue. Joey seemed jealous of Billy’s big part in the show, but someone tied the curtain rope, making Joey look bad. Billy is a rope expert, but then his lines were cut, so he couldn’t be the culprit. We have three mysteries and no real suspect.”

“Unless you count everybody,” said Kelly.

“True,” I said. “This is like trying to solve a big puzzle with invisible pieces.”

“I like that,” said Brian. “Write it down.”

So I did.

“We need to get to the bottom of this,” I said.

“In the meantime, our guilty party is still on the loose,” said Kelly.

“I hope my costume isn’t loose,” said Brian. “I need to look good for my family. They’ll all be there to see the show.”

What Brian said turned out to be a big, large, huge, and enormous clue.

But I didn’t know it yet.

No one did.

B
efore school on Friday, Kelly, Brian, Mara, and I talked about the talent show mysteries.

We talked between classes.

We talked on our way to the high school.

But nothing was coming together.

“Three mysteries and no suspects,” Kelly said with a sigh. “You don’t have to be a math expert to know those numbers don’t add up.”

“
Brain
could probably add them up,” said Brian. “But he doesn’t want to right now.”

When we entered the auditorium, Mrs. Rinkle and Tiffany were carrying a big box onto the stage.

“Costumes!” Mrs. Rinkle said.

“I even made one for Sparky on my professional sewing machine,” said Tiffany.

“Goof!” said Sparky.

“That’s his one line!” said Mrs. Rinkle as she set down the carton on the stage.

Suddenly, Tiffany stomped her dancing foot. “I forgot the animal hats and gloves. I’ll be right back.” She went up the aisle, leaving the door propped open with a shoe.

Mrs. Rinkle beamed. “We’ll try these costumes on one at a time in the—”

“Me first!” cried Brian, snatching his bat suit from the carton and running into the costume room to change.

Mrs. Rinkle laughed. “That’s the spirit. It shows that no matter how many delays we’ve had, this will be the best show—”

“Ugh! Ouch! No, you don’t! Hey! HELP!”

“That’s Brian in the costume room!” I said

“His hands are fighting!” said Kelly.

“Maybe it’s a duel to the death!” said Mara.

But when we raced into the costume room, Brian’s hands weren’t swordfighting.

He was twisted up in his bat costume and desperately trying to get out.

“My arms disappeared,” he cried. “And I still need them for lots of stuff!”

Brian’s feet were down where the knees should be. His head was invisible. His arms were lost in big folds of fuzzy black fabric, and his bat wings flopped across the floor.