Goose Chase (3 page)

Some rotten little beast of a swineherd had spotted me in the high meadow in my princess clothes and crown (I had nothing else to put on save my new gown, though I admit I wore the crown out of sheer vanity and pride), brushing the gold dust out of my hair, and of course after that, 'twas only
a matter of hours before everyone in the village heard about it, and a matter of days before the whole countryside for miles around got the news.

Naturally, when I heard their proposals I replied, "Neither one of you, if 'tis all the same to you and of course thank you
very
much." But what was the good of that? I had might as well have been talking to the wind. The Prince looked perplexed and the King looked like cold death, and all the soldiers took a step forward in an extremely menacing manner.

So here am I in the tower, where they can keep a close eye on me while I make up both my wedding garments and my mind. I
must
leave here soon, and yet I don't know where to go even if I do escape. I long to go home, but how can I, looking the way I do and shedding clouds of gold dust and diamonds at every step? Even disguised, the villagers would guess who I was the minute I tried to pay for the common necessities of life with even a pinch of gold dust or the tiniest of diamonds.

I am most dreadfully afraid that my cottage has been looted by those ghastly villagers and that my ducks and Geese are all gobbled up by foxes or wolves by now. I feel so guilty for failing to protect the Geese as my mother commanded. And do you know, I miss them dreadfully. Geese may have their faults, and speaking as someone who has lived intimately with fowl all her life, I'd be the first to admit that they are far from perfect models of gentility. Yet what a
comfort it would be to see their peevish, bad-tempered little faces again!

They flew away when the soldiers came, and who can blame them? Not I. I would have gladly flown away myself. Two battalions of heavily armed soldiers, a Prince, and a King was too much to expect them to tackle. I wept when I saw them go and swore 1 could not be parted from my birds, but to no avail. The sight of the diamonds that poured onto the floor when I cried quite made up the minds of my royal visitors for them.

I gathered up the little gowns and crowns into a sack and brought them along with me. The Geese had always refused to wear them, in any case, and 'twas something to remember them by.

'Twas kind of the Prince, I suppose, to give me Chipper as a sort of compensation for losing my birds. If I were minded to marry and the Prince were less of a dunce—but no, I must be mad to even consider such a notion. He is a dunce, and I am
not
minded to marry.

Ah well. If the Geese had been allowed to accompany me here, the King would probably have served them as he did my little Chipper, and with better cause. Any one of my fat and bonny birds would have made a supper fit for a king, which of course is what he is, so perhaps they are better off as they are. Tis possible some may have survived.

Yes, I must leave this place. Chipper's death has convinced me. The King is growing bored and my golden gown
is nearly finished. I might be able to put the Prince off by going on unpicking my handiwork until the crack of doom, but the King will not wait much longer for my decision. The time to act is now.

Yet how shall I escape? And if I do, where in the wide world shall I go? I do not know.

I am a no-nonsense, practical sort of person and I don't expect that I shall care for adventures—certainly I don't think much of the one I'm in at the moment—but I suppose that from now on adventures will be coming my way whether I like it or not.

W
HEN THE SUN SHINETH, MAKE HAY.

—J
OHN
H
EYWOOD,
P
ROVERBS

They have left the door to my room unbarred. In all the months in which I have been imprisoned here, that has never happened before. In addition, they have left me entirely alone!

The servants, who are also my jailers, have gathered outside to hang laundry in the sunshine and gossip. They are laying wagers on which of my suitors I will accept. The Prince is the popular favorite, since like me they are all his subjects, but at least one of them shares my forebodings about the probable result of my marriage to the Prince.

"What I say is, let that nasty old King have her," the Cook said, her red, beefy bosom heaving with emotion, "else our dear Prince will find reason soon enough to regret it.
If,
that is, he lives long enough to grieve. That King is just as twisty as a little piggie's tail, he is." She nodded her head wisely several times, which made the white wings on her ridiculous headdress flap up and down. "And good riddance
anyway," she added with a sniff. "What do we want with a Goose Girl for our Queen?"

Several people disagreed, pointing out the practical value of a Queen, Goose Girl or no, with my particular talents.

"Besides," sighed the boy who polished the shoes and sharpened the knives and tended the fires, "she is the loveliest creature in all the world."

"Handsome is as handsome does," snapped the Cook. "I say she's as common as cabbage."

By my oath! I'd never even spoken to the woman. For sheer bounce and bobaunce, I trow I have never heard the like! I happen to have exquisite manners. Indeed, 'twas my refined and aristocratic behavior to that gap-toothed old hag that got me into this predicament in the first place. Mayhap I ought to marry the Cook's beloved Prince just for the pleasure of tweaking the flaps on her silly hat and then sending her packing. But nay, 'twould not be worth it.

I withdrew my head and decided to try a little exploration while they were occupied in discussing my deportment and marital destiny. There was no object in trying to escape through that mob; they were grouped around the only door and would catch me ere I set one foot outside. But if I could not go down, I could go up.

My room was but one story above the ground. However, no one need fear that I would escape through the window. The iron grille affixed to the window frame allowed me to stick my head outside, but no more. By craning my neck
back uncomfortably far I could see that the tower was very much taller than the level of my chamber. It should give a good view out over both my own country of Dorloo and the King's country of Gilboa, since it stood almost directly on the border of these two lands. I would climb it and see what I could see. I tucked my golden gown into the bag in which I kept the gowns and crowns belonging to my Geese and bore it along with me. If caught, I could always claim I had been in search of a better light for my sewing.

Three hundred and twenty-six.

Three hundred and twenty-seven.

Three hundred and twenty-eight.

Would there never be an ending to these everlasting steps? My heart felt ready to burst out of my breast; spots swam before my eyes. My legs trembled beneath me like willow wands in the wind.

There were three hundred and thirty-three stone steps up to the top of the tower and much good my long climb did me, as it ended in a dark landing with a flat roof four feet off the floor. I collapsed in a heap, wishing I knew more curse words.

When I had caught my breath I got to my feet again, crouching and holding one hand over my head to shield myself against the stone ceiling. To my surprise, my fingertips discovered that 'twas not stone at all, but wood. Well, of course, there was no particular reason why the tower
shouldn't have a wooden roof, but yet it gave me food for thought.

Why build this monstrous tall tower anyway? There were various storage rooms above mine, but it did not need to be anywhere near as tall as 'twas if it afforded no view of the surrounding countryside. There must be a way onto the roof. My fingers groped around in the darkness and eventually found an iron ring. Rejoicing, I put my shoulder to the ceiling and gave a doughty heave.

Ah! The light dazzled my eyes for but a moment. Gathering my skirts together, I climbed up with what haste I was able. To thrust both self and garments through such a small trapdoor was no small feat, and required some kicking and squirming. My Princess gown was a trifle torn, which grieved me some, 1 will confess. 'Twas the finest dress that ever I had owned and 'twas a crying shame to see it spoilt with rough usage. Still, I managed to struggle out at last onto the roof and that was worth a good deal. I stood up and looked all round.

The tower was much taller than any of the surrounding trees. I felt as if I were looking down from the crow's nest on top of the mast of a ship out at sea. Far, far below was a foaming, tossing green ocean of leaves. And that was all. O, off on the eastern horizon lay some great white objects, but I couldn't tell whether they were clouds or mountains, and in truth it made no odds either way as they were much too far off to signify.

Ah, 'twas a fine, ferly thing, being all alone in that high lonely place! My life in the tower was so
full
of other people. Even when they were not chattering or boasting or laughing or quarreling, they were yet
there
all the time, breathing, thinking, watching. Standing here high over their heads, with naught but blue sky above and green leaves below, I got a queer, hollow feeling inside, as though I were filled right up to the very topmost tip of my head with air and sunlight and silence. A sensation both sad and solitary, and yet it did please me greatly.

Still, from a practical point of view the view was rather depressing. There was no sign of a road or a city or even my little village, which I knew was only a few leagues off. If I were to escape the tower it would mean simply wandering off haphazardly into a wilderness.

Then I heard the rush of wings. Something big and white was coming at me through the air, fast. That Cook, I thought foolishly, flapping up here with her winged headgear. She's come to fling me off the tower onto the rocks below so that she need never curtsy to a Goose Girl Queen.

But no, 'twas not a Cook, 'twas a Goose. Twas one of
my
Geese. In truth, 'twas Alberta. She circled the tower once and then landed.

"Alberta!" I flung my arms around her and squeezed her for all I was worth. "You are not dead! You are not gobbled up by wolves!"

She bit me.

I slapped her back and she honked despairingly.

"By my vertu, Alberta, that hurt. I was merely welcoming you. You might act a bit gladder to see me."

She paid no attention but lifted her head up to look past me at the sky.

"Don't think you're going to fly off again and leave me," I began, becoming thoroughly enraged, "because you're not."

"Honk, honk, honnnk!"

The air around me was filled with great white wings like sails, churning up winds that lifted the skirts of my gown and almost blew away my gold and ruby crown.

"You're here! You're
all
here!"

Eleven white Geese circled the tower

"Ernestina, Lydia-the-Loud, Penelope!" Each goose landed as I called her name and began to preen herself irritably with her bill. "Selena, Simple Sophia, Beatrice-the-Brave, and Dorothea!" Overcome with excitement, I shouted out the last four, "Eugenia, Cassandra Big Foot, Ursula, and my own Little Echo!"

Little Echo landed with a resounding thump (she was never very graceful, Little Echo), and all twelve Geese swiveled their long necks to stare at me. They hissed in unison as though trying to shush me and fixed me with twenty-four accusing little black eyes.

"O, don't be so silly," I said, tossing my head so that my crown slid down over one ear. "They couldn't hear me up here if I shot off a cannon." I leaned over the low parapet
cautiously. "Look at them, rattling away like so many windmills."

To my amusement, they behaved as though they understood me. The twelve bustled over to peer down at the tiny people far below. As though by magic the worries and tensions of many months lifted off my shoulders and I began to laugh. 'Twas as good as a feast to see and hear them about me again, and they looked
so
ridiculous, craning their necks anxiously over the parapet in a perfect line! Indeed, 'twas all I could do not to tumble off the tower with laughing. The tower seemed less lonely and my situation less desperate, now that my Geese had returned to me.

As though at a signal, they suddenly rose up into the air. I shrieked in anger and disappointment and cried, "No! Halt! To me! Come back to me, my Geese!" but they paid me no heed.

They circled the tower, once, twice, ever lower with each circuit. To my alarm, I saw riders on horseback enter the clearing. The King and the Prince were drawing near, each hung about with every conceivable weapon that might slay a Goose.

"No," I breathed, "No!" My Geese were flying straight into the crowd of servants at the foot of the tower.

Heads lifted. I saw startled white faces turned up toward my Geese. Ernestina was in the lead and aimed, I now realized, straight at the clothesline where the week's laundry fluttered and snapped in the breeze. She gripped a corner of
a fine fat featherbed in her bill and kept going. Alberta, right behind her, snatched up another corner of the featherbed. Lydia-the-Loud and Penelope took the remaining two corners and the four of them whipped it right off the line. Behind them, four more Geese scooped up another featherbed and the last four yet a third.

What in ten kingdoms did they think they were doing? Of what possible use is a featherbed to a Goose?

Up they flew again, proudly bearing their booty to the top of the tower, to me. Ernestina's group sailed down to the tower roof and laid a featherbed out flat before me like a carpet. The others continued to circle over my head with their stolen bedding, watching me, waiting.

The four Geese on the tower stared at me very hard.

"What? What do you want?" I asked, beginning to feel a bit oppressed by their collective stares.

The four glanced at one another and then, as one Goose, advanced upon me, staring all the while with their button-bright, round black eyes.