I held on to the canoe with one hand and shielded my eyes with the other.
“Jan? Jan?” I shouted her name as loudly as I could.
And then I spotted her.
I saw her blond hair glowing in the bright sunlight. And I saw her red
swimsuit. Her arms moving steadily, smoothly. Her feet kicking up foamy waves.
She was making her way to shore.
She swam away and left me here, I realized.
I turned and searched for the other canoes. Squinting against the sun, I
could see them far ahead of me. Too far away to hear my shouts.
Maybe I can turn the canoe over, I decided. Then I can climb in and paddle
back to shore.
But where were the paddles?
I raised my eyes to the camp—and saw Jan talking to Liz. She was waving her
arms frantically and pointing out to the water. Pointing to me.
A crowd of kids gathered around them. I could hear excited voices. Shouts and
cries.
I saw Liz pull a canoe into the water.
She’s coming to rescue me, I realized. Jan must have told her I couldn’t swim
all the way back.
I suddenly felt embarrassed. I knew all the kids on shore were watching me. I
knew they were talking about what a wimp I must be.
But I didn’t care. I just wanted to get back on dry land.
It didn’t take Liz long to paddle out to me. When I pulled myself into the
canoe, I started to thank her.
But she didn’t let me get a word out. “Why did you do it, Sarah?” she
demanded.
“Excuse me?” I gasped. “Do what?”
“Why did you tip the canoe over?” Liz asked.
I opened my mouth to protest—but only a squeak came out.
Liz frowned at me. “Jan says you deliberately tipped over the canoe. Don’t
you know how dangerous that is, Sarah?”
“But—but—but—!”
“I’m calling a special camp meeting because of this,” Liz said. “Water safety
is so important. The water safety rules must be followed at all times. Camp Cold
Lake couldn’t exist if campers didn’t follow every rule.”
“I wish it
didn’t
exist,” I muttered unhappily.
* * *
So Liz held a long meeting at the lodge. And everyone at camp had to be
there.
She went over the rules of water safety again. Rule by rule.
And then she showed an endless slide show about the Buddy System.
I sat way on the side and stared down at the floor. But every time I raised
my eyes, I saw Briana, Meg, and Jan glaring angrily at me.
Other campers kept staring at me too. I guess they all blamed me for this
long, boring meeting. Jan probably told everyone in camp that I was the one who
tipped over the canoe.
“I want you to memorize all twenty water safety rules,” Liz was saying.
More campers stared angrily at me.
Everyone hates me, I thought, shaking my head sadly. And there is nothing I
can do about it.
Then, suddenly, I had an idea.
“I’m going to run away,” I told Aaron.
“Good-bye,” he said calmly. “Good luck.”
“No. Really!” I insisted. “I’m not kidding. I’m really going to run away from
this camp.”
“Send me a postcard,” Aaron said.
I had dragged him away from the mess hall after dinner. I really needed to
talk to him. I pulled him to the edge of the lake.
No one else was down here. Everyone was still at the mess hall in the lodge.
I glanced at the canoes, stacked in piles of three near the water. I pictured
Jan’s blond hair, her red swimsuit. I pictured her swimming away, leaving me in
the middle of the lake.
And then lying to Liz. Getting me in trouble….
I shook Aaron by the shoulders. “Why won’t you take me seriously?” I cried
through clenched teeth.
He laughed.
“You shouldn’t shake a person after they’ve just eaten the camp meat loaf.” He let out a loud burp.
“You’re so gross.” I groaned.
He grinned. “It’s a family tradition.”
“Stop joking around. I mean it,” I snapped. “I’m really unhappy, Aaron. I
hate this camp. There is no phone here we can use. I can’t call Mom and Dad. So
I’m going to run away.”
His expression changed. He saw that I was serious.
He skipped a flat stone across the water. I watched the ripples spread out,
then disappear.
The lake reflected the gray evening sky. Everything was gray. The ground, the
sky, the water. Reflections of trees shimmered darkly in the gray water.
“Where are you going to run?” Aaron asked softly. I could see him quickly
becoming the mature, “wiser” brother again. But I didn’t care.
I had to tell him my plan. I couldn’t leave camp without letting him know.
“Through the woods,” I said. I pointed. “There is a town on the other side of
the woods. When I get to the town, I’m going to call Mom and Dad and tell them
to come get me.”
“You can’t!” Aaron protested.
I stuck my chin out. “Why not?”
“We’re not allowed in the woods,” he replied. “Richard said the woods were
dangerous—remember?”
I shoved Aaron again. I was so tense, so angry, I didn’t know what to do with
my hands.
“I don’t care what Richard said!” I bellowed. “I’m running away—remember?”
“Give the camp a chance, Sarah,” Aaron urged. “We haven’t even been here a
whole week. Give the place a chance.”
That’s when I totally lost it.
“I
hate
it when you’re so sensible!” I screamed.
I shoved him hard. With both hands.
His mouth flew open. He lost his balance—and toppled into the lake.
He landed on his back in the wet mud just past the shore.
“Ooof!” I heard the air shoot out of him.
“Sorry—” I started. “It was an accident, Aaron. I—”
He scrambled to his feet, pulling up greasy gunk and seaweed with him.
Shaking his fists. Calling me all kinds of names.
I sighed. Now even my brother was furious at me.
What am I going to do? I asked myself. What
can
I do?
As I trudged back to the cabin, another plan began to form in my mind.
A really desperate plan.
A really
dangerous
plan.
“Tomorrow,” I murmured to myself, “I’m going to show them all!”
I thought about my plan all the next morning. I was frightened—but I knew I
had to go through with it.
Our group had Free Swim that afternoon. Of course, everyone had a buddy but
me.
I dug my bare feet into the muddy shore and watched everyone pair up and head
into the water. Puffy white clouds floated overhead, reflected in the nearly
still water.
Tiny gnats jumped over the surface of the water. I stared at them, wondering
why they didn’t get wet.
“Sarah, it’s swim time,” Liz called. She hurried over to me. She wore a pink
one-piece bathing suit under crisp white tennis shorts.
I adjusted my swimsuit top. My hands were trembling.
I really was scared by what I planned to do.
“Why aren’t you swimming?” Liz demanded. She brushed a fly off my shoulder.
“I—I don’t have a buddy,” I stammered.
She glanced around, trying to find someone for me. But everyone was in the
lake.
“Well…” Liz twisted her mouth fretfully. “Go ahead and swim by yourself.
Stay close to the shore. And I’ll keep an eye on you.”
“Great. Thanks,” I said. I smiled at her, then trotted enthusiastically to
the edge of the water.
I didn’t want her to guess that it wasn’t going to be a normal swim for me.
That I had something really terrible in mind….
I stepped into the water.
Oooh. So cold.
A cloud rolled over the sun. The sky darkened, and the air grew colder.
My feet sank into the muddy bottom of the lake. Up ahead, I saw the gnats—hundreds of them—hopping on the water.
Yuck, I thought. Why do I have to swim with mud and gnats?
I took a deep breath and stepped out farther. When the cold water was nearly
up to my waist, I lowered my body in and started to swim.
I swam a few long laps. I needed to get used to the water. And I needed to
get my breathing steady.
A short distance away, Briana and some other girls were having some kind of
relay race. They were laughing and cheering. Having a great time.
They won’t be laughing in a few minutes. I told myself bitterly.
A tall spray of water rushed over me. I cried out.
Another wave smacked my face.
It took me a few seconds to realize that I was being splashed—by Aaron.
He rose up in front of me—and spit a stream of water into my face.
“Yuck! How can you put this water in your mouth?” I cried, totally grossed
out.
He laughed and splashed away to join his buddy.
He won’t be laughing in a few minutes, either, I told myself. He’ll treat me
differently after today.
Everyone will.
I suddenly felt guilty. I should have told Aaron what I planned to do. I
didn’t really want to scare him. I wanted to scare everyone else.
But I knew if I told my plan to practical, sensible Aaron, he would talk me
out of it. Or go tell Liz so that she would stop me.
Well… no one is going to stop me, I vowed.
Have you guessed my desperate plan?
It was really quite simple.
I planned to drown myself.
Well… not really.
I planned to dive down to the lake bottom. Stay under. A long, long time.
And make everyone think that I had drowned.
I can hold my breath for a very long time. It’s because I play the flute.
I’ve really developed my lung power.
I can probably stay underwater for two or three minutes.
Long enough to scare everyone to death.
Everyone will panic. Even Briana, Meg, and Jan.
Everyone will feel sorry for how mean they were to me.
I’ll get a new start. After my close call in the lake, everyone in camp will
want to be nice to me.
Everyone will want to be my buddy.
So… here goes.
I took one last look at all the laughing, shouting swimmers.
Then I sucked in the biggest breath I had ever taken.
And plunged down, down to the bottom of the lake.
The lake was shallow for only a few feet. Then the lake bottom gave way in a
steep drop.
I kicked hard, pushing myself away from the other swimmers. Then I pulled
myself upright, lowering my feet.
Yes.
I dropped my hands to my sides and let myself sink.
Down, down.
I opened my eyes as I dropped to the lake bottom. I saw only green. Waves of
pale light shimmered through the green.
I’m floating inside an emerald, I thought. Floating down, down in a sparkling
green jewel.
I pictured the tiny emerald on the ring Mom wore every day. Her engagement
ring. I thought about Mom and Dad, thought how sad they’d be if I really did
drown.
We never should have sent Sarah to that water sports camp,
they would
say.
My feet hit the soft lake floor.
A bubble of air escaped my mouth. I pressed my lips tighter, holding the air
inside.
I slowly floated up toward the surface.
I closed my eyes. I kept my whole body still to make it look as if I’d
drowned.
I pictured the horror on Liz’s face when she saw my body floating so still,
floating under the water, my hair bobbing on the surface.
I almost laughed when I thought of Liz leaping into the lake to rescue me,
having to get her crisp white tennis shorts wet, I forced myself to remain still.
I shut my eyes even tighter. And thought about Briana, Meg, and Jan.
They’ll feel so guilty They’ll never forgive themselves for the way they
treated me.
After my close call, they’ll see how mean they were. And they’ll want to be
best friends with me.
We’ll all be best friends.
And we’ll have a great summer together.
My chest began to feel tight. The back of my throat began to burn.
I opened my lips and let out a few more bubbles of air.
But my throat still burned, and so did my chest.
I floated facedown. I kept my legs stiff and let my arms hang loosely at my
sides.
I listened for shouts of alarm.
Someone must have spotted me by now.
I listened for cries of help. For kids calling Liz.
But I heard only silence. The heavy silence you hear when you’re underwater.
I let out another bubble of air.
My chest really hurt now. It felt about to explode.
I opened my eyes. Was anyone nearby? Was anyone coming to rescue me?
I saw only green.
Where is everyone? I wondered.
Liz must have spotted me by now. Why isn’t she pulling me up out of the
water?
I pictured her again in her white tennis shorts. I pictured her tanned arms
and legs. I pictured her red hair.
Liz—where are you?
Liz—don’t you see me drowning here? You said you’d keep an eye on me,
remember?
I can’t stay under much longer.
My chest is ready to explode. My whole body is tingling. Burning. My head
feels about to pop open.
Can’t anyone see me here?
A wave of dizziness swept over me.
I shut my eyes, but the dizziness didn’t go away.
I pushed out the rest of the air in my lungs.
No air, I thought. No air left….
My arms and legs ached.
My chest burned.
With my eyes closed, I saw bright yellow spots.
Dancing yellow lights. They grew brighter… brighter. They did a fast,
furious dance all around me.
Around my burning, tingling body.
My chest… exploding… exploding…
I’m so cold, I realized. Suddenly, I feel so cold.
The dancing, darting yellow lights grew brighter. Bright as spotlights.
Bright as flashbulbs, flashing in my eyes.