Gray Girl (22 page)

Jan’s eyes widened.
 
Oh
no, no, Sir…don’t…
 

“If not for these three, you might
have been in really deep trouble.”

Dogety, please…stop.

“Your may not remember what happened
because your condition was very unbecoming an officer.
 
But your friends made sure you didn’t do
anything even more stupid.
 
They looked
out for you.
 
They kept you
safe.”
 

For
Christ’s sake man, enough…

 
“McCarron, Trane and Wishart, you did the
right thing when you saw your classmate was inebriated.
 
You took decisive action and prevented
any further harm.
 
I commend your
actions.”

They stood silently, stunned at his
speech.

“I hope this experience gives you all
a better appreciation for ‘Cooperate and Graduate.’
 
And if the shoe is ever on the other
foot, Miss Plowden, I hope you would do the same for one of them.”

He finished his lecture, but the four
women didn’t move.

“Dismissed.”

That word shook them out of their
trance. They walked silently to the front of the bus.

21

Friday, May 7

1730 Hours

Jan heard Angel calling the two-minute bell and decided to skip both
formation and dinner.
 
She wasn’t
hungry and couldn’t eat even if she tried.
 
What are they
gonna
do, give me demerits?
 
An Honor Board tends to make all other
punishments seem lame.
 

She lay back on her bed and closed her eyes.
 
She wouldn’t sleep even though she felt
like sleeping for a hundred years.
 
She just wanted to be alone and quiet, but the sounds of slamming doors,
yelling and marching always permeated the air at West Point.
 
One could never find real silence.
 
She placed her palm over her eyes and
tried to think of something, anything, other than reality.

Two knocks at the door interrupted her brief moment of semi-peace.
 
“Come in.”
 
She assumed it was another plebe as the
knocks were not particularly loud.
 
Sam Dogety pushed open the door, stepped inside her room and closed the
door.
 
She didn’t even get up from
her prone position.
 
What’s he
gonna
do, give me demerits?

“What do you want, Dogety?”
 
Jan decided she didn’t give a rat’s ass at this point.
 
He sat down on Kristi’s bed, directly
across from her.

“Who’s
SKIP
?”
 
he
asked.

“What?”
 

“I need to talk to SKIP,” he said. “It’s urgent.”

“How do you know about SKIP?”
 

“That’s not important.
 
Just
tell me who he is.”
 
He seemed to be
more energized than the last time she saw him.

“Why do you need to know?” she said still lying with her palm over her
eyes.

Dogety took a deep breath.
 
“Jan.”

She turned her head to look at him.
 
Then she sat up slowly, sitting on her
bed facing him.
 

“Jan, I need your help,” he said gravely.

“
You
need...?
 
What’s
wrong with you?
 
I’m the one in big
trouble here, remember?”
 

“Yes, but just hear me out.
 
We don’t have long before someone hears or finds us.
 
I know you are innocent and I will tell
the truth, don’t worry.
 
But you
have to remember that I will forever be known as a rat when I do.
 
My Army career will be over before it
even begins once I give testimony that betrays my classmate and best
friend.
 
Can you understand what I’m
saying Jan?”
  

She felt the room swirl around her as she contemplated what he
said.
 
He admitted my
innocence.
 
He will tell the
truth.
 
I won’t get kicked out for
honor.
 
 
“I understand that you have just admitted
that I’m innocent and that you can testify to that.”
 

“Yes, I can, and I will, if necessary.
 
I’m trying to save both of us here,
Jan.
 
Don’t you see?”
 

“No, not exactly,
Sam.
 
You’re not charged with an honor
violation.”
 
How dare he even
compare his situation to hers?

Dogety took a deep breath.
 
“I’m so sorry for this whole mess.
 
It’s my fault you’re in this position, and I am truly sorry.
 
I won’t let you go down.
 
But I don’t want to go down either.
 
That’s why I need SKIP.”
 

He wasn’t making any sense.
 
What the hell did SKIP have to do with anything?
 
“How can SKIP possibly help?”
 

“I have it on good authority that SKIP can prove you’re telling the
truth.”

“YOU can prove I’m telling the truth!”
 
She practically shouted.

“All I can do is testify to what I saw on Monday morning.
 
And that’s probably not enough to clear
you of both charges.
 
But I hear
SKIP knows more than that, and if he can testify, it works for both of us.
 
Jan, please help me here.
 
My classmates will never forget if I am
to blame for Markus Jackson, lacrosse team captain, being kicked out a week
before graduation.
 
You do realize
that he will have to serve four years in the Army as a Specialist?
 
This will ruin him, and I cannot be the
one to do it.”

Jan looked down at the floor.
 
“Well, I can’t help you anyway.
 
I don’t know who SKIP is; he’s never told me.”
 

“Can you get him to testify?
 
Explain to him that he needs to come forward for your sake,” Dogety
pleaded.
   

“And for yours?”
 
she
asked.

“Yes, and for mine.”

22

“The
Code requires complete integrity in both word and deed of all members of the
Corps and permits no deviation from these standards
....These
standards are rigidly enforced, and any intentional act in violation of the
Code by a cadet is cause for separation from the Military Academy.”

Honor, Bugle Notes, 81, p.35

The entire Corps of Cadets survived
the Army/Navy weekend and returned to the gray walls of West Point by late
Sunday afternoon.
 
All was
normal
again by Monday morning.
 
Term-end exams (TEEs) were rapidly
approaching, and everyone hunkered down for intense studying.
 
Exam week was the last obstacle before
Christmas leave, the biggest break for plebes to date.
 
Jan could hardly breathe thinking about
this extended time off, never mind study.
 
Another letter from SKIP helped to further divert her attention.

Dear
Jan,

No,
I am not Dogety. I can assure you of that.
 
But good guess on my being a male cadet.
 
I had a hard time figuring out how you
found out, but every organization has its leaks.
 
I guess this proves I am hiding in plain
sight.

We
bumped into each other several times during Army/Navy weekend, once quite
literally.
 
I don’t think you
noticed.
 
But I hope you enjoyed the
festivities.

Well,
we just have to get through TEE week.
 
Then it’s finally Christmas leave.
 
I hope you have a great time at home and I look forward to hearing from
you when we get back in January.

Take
care,

SKIP

Classes, athletics, minute calling, formations,
inspections, poop, laundry sorting, paper deliveries and term end exams (TEEs)
made it almost impossible for plebes to do anything else.
 
Yet in the middle of exam week, Jan and
Drew found time to go running, still the only way to be alone and talk
freely.
 
They set off from Mahan
Hall with Jan setting the pace.
 
Drew didn’t try to outrun her or pick up the speed.
 
She deeply appreciated his lack of
needing to show off.
 

“Did I tell you who I think did
it?”
 

“Did what?”

She gave him an exasperated look, “Drew!
 
C’mon!
 
The one who raped Debra at Army/Navy?”
 
She hadn’t told another living soul
about that night, except Drew.
 
She
knew he could be trusted with their secret.
 

“Oh, that.”
 
It seemed Drew didn’t want to talk about
it.

“Jackson,” she said and waited for
Drew’s response.
 
Their Etonic
sneakers slapped against the pavement making the only sound on the cold,
December afternoon.

“I could see that,” Drew said after a
pause.
 
“But why do you think it was
him?”

“He was with our group in the
hotel.
 
He and Dogety are like fleas
on sticky paper.”
 

“Jan, a lot of guys were in our
hotel. It could have been anyone.”

Jan had already given it a lot of
thought.
 
“Kissy and I talked about
it.
 
We have zero physical
proof.
 
But we both feel sure he did
it.”

“How could he have entered the
room?
 
Didn’t the doors lock automatically
anytime you left.”

“I don’t know.
 
I know we didn’t think about locking the
door when we left her in the room.
 
But even if the door
was
locked, how hard would
it be for him to get another key?
 
If
he went to the front desk and asked for a room key because he had misplaced
his, they would give him one.
 
Who
would think a West Point Cadet would lie about that?
 
It was probably very easy for him to get
a key.”
 

They ran a few more yards in silence.
 
Jan wanted more than anything to find a
way to prove Jackson raped Debra.
 
But Debra did not want to pursue it further.
 
How could she accuse him without a
witness or some other tangible evidence?
 
“Drew, we can’t do anything about it without Debra’s involvement.
 
We don’t have any other evidence.
 
But I swear, on my life, if I ever find
a way to nail his ass, I will.”

They continued jogging down Thayer
Road, to Thayer Hotel and Thayer Gate, all named for Sylvannius Thayer, the
father of the military academy.
 
Why didn’t they name the gate ‘Sylvannius’
just to add some variety?
 
The
two friends turned around and headed back along the same route.
 
They ran in step to a subliminal
cadence, a residual effect of their training.

“Do you ever feel like this place
will wear you down so much that you won’t even be the same person you once
were?”
 
Drew asked, breaking the
silence.

“It already has,”
Jan
admitted.
 
“But maybe I needed to be
another person altogether.
 
Maybe I
needed to change.”
 

They heard the distant sound of a
bugle playing and abruptly stopped running.
 
They stood at attention until a cannon
fired.
 
Then they saluted toward the
vicinity of The Plain where the US flag was being lowered.
 
Stopping and saluting was required of
anyone in earshot of Retreat every evening at 1730 hours.

Once jogging again, they talked of
brighter topics like their exam schedule, SAMI, laundry duties, and
Dogety.
 
Always they talked about
Dogety.

Dear
SKIP,

If
I don't come back after Christmas leave, you’ll know I’ve decided to quit.
 
I probably failed my history exam
anyway.
 
And you wanted me to smile?

Sorry,
still having trouble with all that fun stuff.
  
Maybe you can clue me in as to how
I might see the humor in all of this?
 
Seriously, I know you mean well, but I am so sick of it all.
 
I just don't think I can stand to come
back and face all these gray walls for another semester.
 

So,
maybe I will see you in January, maybe not.
 
I guess it will be a surprise for both
of us.

Good
luck and thanks for trying to cheer me up.
 
You really did try.

Jan

She packed her things, which fit
nicely into a small bag, and waited for her parents.
 
They were meeting at General Patton, the
statue facing the library.
 
Supposedly, he faced the library because he never went there as a
cadet.
 
While Jan waited under his
watchful eye, she realized that she also had rarely visited the library that
whole semester.
 
In fact, she never
went to “Boodlers” (the cadet junk food mart) either.
 
She never snuck out to Flirtation
Walk.
 
She never spun the “lucky
spurs” on the Sedgwick Monument.
 
She never counted the lights in Cullum Hall.
 
She never saw the inside of the Old
Cadet Chapel where Benedict Arnold's name is gouged from a plaque.
 
She never looked at the “Foundation
Eagle” or noticed the evolution of the full dress hat in the stone carvings
above Grant Hall.
 
She never looked
for the mistakes on the French Monument and she never really appreciated the
huge mural in Washington Hall.
 
There were so many things Jan didn't see, didn't do and didn't
know.
 
Would she want to live her
whole life thinking, “I never even finished plebe year?”

Before her parents pulled up to the
curb, she knew she would come back after Christmas.
 
Despite what she wrote to SKIP, she was
not going to leave West Point without finishing plebe year.
 

Besides,
after six months in a sea of men, I’ve only made two male friends.
 
And one of them is anonymous.
 
I have to come back, if only to find out
who
the hell he is.

Jan’s period showed up the day after
she arrived home.
 
Maybe it was
“perfectly normal” to stop menstruating at West Point, but it only fueled her
fear that she might be turning into a man.
 
So, when it returned after six months, it felt like an early Christmas
gift.
 
Okay, I haven’t grown a Y
chromosome yet.
  

She spent several days hanging out
with Regan and some of those times included Tim.
 
He had a new girlfriend at college; Jan
pretended to be happy for him.
 
While she wore a “leave me alone” face at West Point, she wore a “hey,
it's all good” face at home.
 
When
her parents and siblings asked how things were going at Woo Poo U, she shrugged
and said something like “Oh,
it’s
going” or
“fine.”
 
She wanted to say, “It
sucks, I hate it and I wish I never applied.”
 
But no one really understood, and they
couldn’t help even if they did.
 
So
when Kristi’s letter arrived two days before Christmas, Jan felt elated.

Jan,

I’m
going out of my mind.
 
My mother and
stepfather want me to wear my uniform every time we step out the door.
 
My older brother sleeps all day, my
younger brother watches TV all day, and my sister whines all day.
 
Because I graduated high school in the
states, I don’t even have any friends here in Bonn.
 
I AM GOING CRAZY!

Then
I remembered that you have the all American, white, suburban family life that I
desperately need.
 
So, can I come
stay with you?
 
I will call soon and
make sure it’s okay.
 
We can go back
to Woo Poo U together.
 
I hope you
don’t mind because I HAVE to get out of here!!!
 

I
promise I won’t eat much, and I can sleep on the floor.

YOUR BEST FRIEND,

Kissy

Jan’s family never had a problem with
friends coming over or staying for extended periods of time.
 
It was one of the great things about a
big family.
 
No one noticed a few
extra bodies hanging around.

Kristi called on Christmas day and
asked if she could arrive in three days.
 
She planned to spend two thirds of Christmas leave at Jan's house.
 
“Kissy, do you really want to spend the
last two weeks of leave away from home?”
 
Jan asked.

“Absolutely,” Kristi said emphatically.
 
“If I have to go to one more function in
my uniform, I am going to kill someone.”

Jan met Kristi at Logan Airport three
days after Christmas.
 
Snow started
falling as they loaded her bags into the car.
  
It continued to come down, heavier
and heavier, as Jan drove the car back to New Hampshire with Kristi.
 
What should have been a one hour drive
turned into two and a half, allowing them plenty of time to catch up.
  
After the usual banter about their
families and what they got for Christmas, Jan asked, “Kissy, do you think you
will stay at West Point?”

“Unless I fail out, yes.
 
Why?”

“Don't you ever want to quit, go to
college somewhere else and live a normal life?”
 

Kristi said, “Sometimes, but I have always
wanted to go to West Point.
 
Even as
a little girl, I dreamed of going.”
 

“You're kidding, right?”
 

“Seriously.
 
When my dad died, I vowed that I would
go to West Point, as he did.
 
I just
always knew it was my destiny to go to the military academy.”
   

Jan looked at Kristi.
 
“How did you figure that when West Point
didn’t allow women until five years ago?”
 

“Oh, I just knew.
 
I knew my dad would help make it
happen,” Kristi said.

“Okay, wait.
 
Did you just say that you believe that
your
dead dad
helped make sure West Point opened it's doors to women and
to you in particular?”
 

“Yes, something like that,” Kristi
replied.

“Well, that's certainly…a…leap of
faith.”
 

“I guess I never worried about it.
 
I always knew he was watching out for me
and that I would go to West Point.”
  
They rode in silence for a few moments as Jan tried to process what it
meant to know, to really know something.
 
Without proof, without facts,
without
prior
knowledge nor without inside information, how could anyone possibly be sure of
anything?
 
Kristi seemed to believe,
with full confidence, in something that could not have been foreseen at the
time.
 
She had a dream, a vision for
her life, and somehow, the death of her father gave birth to it.