Grim Crush (Grimly Ever After) (14 page)

“My life would be incomplete without Nuwan’s visits. He loves coming to see me, and I love to see him. It makes both our lives better, even though I’m not technically his mother anymore.”

“But…he’s like forty years old!” I exclaimed in disbelief. “He’s been breaking the Rules of Reaping for thirty-something years, and hasn’t gotten caught yet? No one even
knows
he comes to see you.”

“I know. He thinks the risk is worth it to come visit me. There’s always a possibility he could get caught, but he does such great reaping work that no one checks up on what he does during his free time. His superiors,
your
superiors, don’t even bother evaluating him anymore.”

I smiled grimly. “That would never happen to me. My superiors, Aquil especially, always have their eyes on me.”

“Well…maybe Nuwan could help you with that. He’s currently training to replace Waiser. Maybe he could volunteer to be the one to evaluate you himself during his training.”

My eyes widened. “Really? He could do that? That would be so cool!” I could get away with almost anything then. And I could even… “You told me this story to make me think about seeing Shilah again, didn’t you?”

Granna grinned, revealing what little teeth she had left. “Okay, I’m guilty.”

My shoulders fell. “I doubt Shilah wants to see me. He’s probably mad. And I’m sure he doesn’t love me anymore by now.”

Granna chuckled. “Child, love is not that simple. It doesn’t just go away. Don’t you feel the same way about him?”

I fidgeted, shrugging. “I’m not sure.”

“Well, you’ll figure it out. And if you do love him, I believe you will make the right choice. I’m not going to tell you to be with him if you don’t want to.”

I smiled. “You’re the first person to say that. Thank you for letting me make my own decision.”

“You’re welcome. And Shilah told me you lost your teleportation, so you can walk out the door. Marshall isn’t home at the moment, so there’s no one around to see the front door open by itself.”

“All right. Bye, Granna.” I stood and leaned down to give her a hug.

As I opened the door of the room, Granna said, “Shilah told me he was going to the stream by the cliffs. Just in case someone’s looking for him.”

I glanced back at Granna before leaving, and she winked.

Chapter 19

When I left Granna’s house, I started walking in the direction that led into town. Even after everything the elderly woman had said, I still had doubts. What if Nuwan couldn’t protect me from being found out by our superiors? What if Shilah couldn’t forgive me for what I’d put him through?

Then I thought about how bold Granna was to keep seeing Nuwan while living a normal life. It was a completely different situation from mine and Shilah’s, but she and Nuwan had been willing to take the risk. They were being brave.

Jayza had said I was scared. And I think she’s right. I was scared of the unknown. I was scared of what I didn’t understand, and I didn’t understand my feelings for Shilah. The way I felt scared me more than anything; more than any possible punishment my superiors could give me.

I remembered what I had told Ziri when the little girl, Kacie, died. I told her we aren’t supposed to understand death. It just happens.

Maybe the same is true about love. I’m not supposed to understand it. It just happens.

Suddenly, I found myself running. But I wasn’t going into town, I was heading into the wilderness near Granna’s house. I ran past trees, leaping over roots and stumbling over a rock. I went swiftly, glad I was partly athletic.

My heart was soaring as I made my way toward the trickling water of the brook. A strong gust was blowing, rustling the leaves of the canopy, and above the sky was turning dark gray, rumbling with thunder. I ignored all of it and slowed to a stop when I reached the end of the forest.

He was right where I’d found him when I first talked to him (had that really been just a little over a month ago?). He was lying down on one of the giant boulders by the stream, his black hair tousling around his face in the wind as he stared up at the sky.

I inhaled deeply and exhaled to try to catch my breath. Then I started toward the boulders, my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

I was about ten feet away when Shilah suddenly turned my way. His mouth opened when he spotted me, and he slowly sat up, gaping like he couldn’t believe I was actually there.

“Xia?” he said.

I halted in my tracks. I wanted to run forward and embrace him, but I wasn’t sure he wanted me to. I didn’t know if he could forgive me.

Shilah hopped off the boulder, keeping his eyes on me as though afraid I’d disappear. He walked up and stopped. There were still five feet between us.

“Shilah…” my voice broke. I didn’t know where to begin. I needed to apologize and ask him to forgive me. I needed to let him know how I felt.

There were four words that immediately came to my tongue before I could think about them: “I love you, too.”

And then I didn’t care if he was mad at me or not. I closed the distance between us in two strides and grabbed his face, rising on my tiptoes till my lips met his.

Shilah didn’t respond for a second, obviously shocked, but then he started kissing me back. All of those wonderful, joyful emotions came rushing back, and I hated myself even more for having waited this long to express how I felt.

When we broke apart, Shilah opened his eyes and blinked. “Okay…I was not expecting that.”

“Uh…I wasn’t either.” I blushed.

We both laughed then.

“I was
supposed
to say I’m sorry…” I went on.

He shook his head, running his hands down my arms. “You have nothing to be sorry about.”

“Yes I do. You should hate me! I broke up with you after you told me you love me, and then I avoided you, and I also hurt your feelings…”

“Has anyone ever told you that you babble sometimes?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re messing up my apology.”

He chuckled. Then he held both of my hands in his. My heart danced happily to see his eyes staring into mine again. “Xia, I understand why you stayed away. This is new to you. I was scared, too.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “You were?”

“Yeah. It’s not like there are other humans I can get advice from on how a relationship with a grim reaper is supposed to work. I didn’t even know if it was possible. And I didn’t think you’d feel the same way I do.”

I nodded. “I do. I know now; I love you. Do you…still love me?”

He smiled, squeezing my hands. “Of course. I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to.”

I relaxed in relief. Granna had been right. “So, you aren’t mad at me?”

“No. I’m too happy you’re here to be mad.” He leaned forward to kiss me again, but I tipped my head back out of his reach.

“Wait, I need to say something,” I said. “If we stay together, you have to be
absolutely
sure you can handle what I am.”

“Xia, I accepted it a long time ago.”

“But how would you feel if someone you love died and I had to reap their soul? How would you feel about me then?”

Shilah frowned. “Where did those questions come from?”

“It’s a reason why my superior, Dajila, said I shouldn’t be with you. Answer the questions.”

He sighed. “I would…be glad their soul is in your hands. Of course I’ll be sad at first, but I wouldn’t blame you or anything.”

“Okay. And if you want to do other things in your life, like go to college in another state or something, you have to promise you’ll follow your dreams no matter where they take you. You can’t let me affect your life, okay?”

“Wow, you’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?”

“I won’t watch your human life fall apart because of me. I want you to do everything you would’ve done if you had never met me.”

“All
right
. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“No! That’s the point! You’re supposed to do what
you
want.”

He grinned. “Fine. Right now, I want to kiss you. Can I do that?”

I hit Shilah (zzz-change to him) in his chest, smiling. “This is serious. Promise me you won’t give up on having a normal human life.”

“Having a normal life is impossible since my girlfriend is a reaper.”

“You know what I mean. I mean a normal life
outside
of your love life.”

“Okay, I promise, Xia. Now can I kiss you?”

As soon as he asked, rain started pouring down from the sky in sheets. I shrieked, blinking against the water droplets falling into my eyes.

“Uh…I think that’s your answer,” I replied, giggling. “Besides, I have to go.”

Shilah’s face fell. “Now?”

“Yes. Dead souls can’t reap themselves, you know.”

“Ziri can’t handle it by herself this time?”

“No. There’s going to be a shooting, more than one casualty. And they’re going to be some tough spirits, probably the kind that are
not
going to Heaven. I can’t let Ziri deal with them on her own.”

“Oh, okay. When will I see you again?”

“Since it’s raining, I’ll have to wait and come to your house tonight.” I reached up and tucked Shilah’s wet hair behind his ear, ignoring the pouring rain. I didn’t want to leave either. I’d missed him so much in the past week.

If this had been like one of those romance movies Ziri showed me, Shilah would scoop me up into his arms and carry me off into the sunset. Instead, clouds were obscuring the sunset, and I had to go reap dead people. Some romance.

I hugged Shilah. “See you tonight.” After a moment, I pulled out of his arms and backed away.

“Wait, I don’t get another kiss?” Shilah said.

“Nope. You have to wait for it,” I teased. “It’ll be something for you to look forward to.”

He narrowed his eyes at me, but he was smiling. I kept beaming too, even as I teleported to my assignment. I was happier than I’d been in…forever.

Love isn’t so scary after all.

Chapter 20

Ziri was talking to me again. She was over the moon about me and Shilah being back together.

I promised myself I would be too, but I was reluctant to be happy. Last time, that night in Paris, my happiness had lasted for all of two seconds before my superiors told me I was forbidden from seeing Shilah. I was never happy for long before something happened to ruin it.

So I’d try to enjoy it now while I had the chance. I wouldn’t worry that things couldn’t work out. I wouldn’t worry about getting in trouble. I would live (figuratively) in the moment.

I could barely wait till that night to spend time with Shilah again. And I even had a couple hours when no one would be dying in my area (provided there were no unscheduled deaths).

After my last assignment, I teleported just outside of Shilah’s house to wait for him to let me in. While I waited, I tried out a few outfits, settling on a slim tunic and shiny leggings. I didn’t
have
to wear black when I wasn’t reaping, but I was so used to it that I didn’t feel comfortable in any other color.

Around eleven (zzz-change to ten), Shilah opened the front door of his house and beckoned me inside. I despised having to use doors.

“Your parents are asleep already?” I asked when I stepped in. “On a Friday night?”

“They have an early trip to get up for.” Shilah grinned. “I’m going to have the house to myself till Sunday evening.”

I raised my eyebrows. “I can’t believe your parents are leaving a teenage boy home alone. There’s so much mischief you could get into…”

“My mom and dad know I’m not like other teenagers. They trust me. They rarely punish me.”

“Huh. You and I are complete opposites. If I was human, I’d be grounded so much that I’d be a prisoner in my own house.”

Shilah snickered. “I can believe that. Come on.” I followed him up to his room, looking around the house as I went. This one was decorated simpler and less creepy than Granna’s, but it was ancient. Shilah had to be careful not to make the stairs creak. I didn’t have that problem, of course.

When we were in his room, he silently shut the door. Then before I could say anything, he took me into his arms and started kissing me. It was the most breathtaking, passionate kiss we’d ever shared, our lips practically smothering each other. I forgot to breathe during most of it, so it was a good thing I couldn’t die.

When his lips parted from mine, I gradually opened my eyes and said, “Wow, you really were looking forward to that all night, weren’t you?”

Shilah, trying to catch his breath, grinned. “Just wanted to show you how much I missed you for the past nine days.”

I smiled. “I missed you too. Especially since I was pretty much alone. Ziri hated me for hurting you, and Jayza got on my nerves ‘cause all she wanted to do was talk about you, and it hurt too much to keep hearing your name.”

“Did you know that I talked to Ziri?”

I glanced at the floor. “Uh…yeah, I was there when you came to the hospice.”

“I
knew
it. I knew you were hiding from me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“All that matters is that you’re here now.” Shilah took my hand and led me over to the bed, where we sat.

“So where are your parents going tomorrow?” I asked.

“They’re going to this retreat in the mountains with friends. It’s for my mom’s birthday.”

“Oh. It must be awesome to celebrate the day you were born.”

“So you don’t have a birthday?”

I shook my head. “I turn a year older on the day I died as a human baby and arrived in The In-Between. So it’s more of a
death
day than a
birth
day. And I don’t celebrate it.”

“When is your deathday?” Shilah cringed. “That sounds weird to say.”

I giggled. “I know. It’s September seventh. So in a way, I’ll be eighteen years half-dead this fall.”

We laughed.

“When is your birthday?” I asked.

“May fourteenth. So I’m a few months older than you.”

I thought. “That’s about a month from now. I’ll need to plan something special for you.”

“No you don’t. You never celebrate yours, so it doesn’t seem right for you to celebrate mine.”

“Mine isn’t a
birth
day.” I sighed. “I hope I have full use of my teleportation by then so I can take you somewhere.” I brightened. “Oh, guess what? I might have a way to get my superiors off my back.”

“How?”

“Um…” I didn’t know if Granna wanted me to mention Nuwan to anybody. “I can’t go into details, but your grandma helped. I talked to her, and she’s the one who convinced me to start seeing you again.”

“Really?” Shilah paused to think. “I used to think she was crazy. Now she’s the wisest person I know, at least when it comes to death. I’ll have to thank her for bringing you to me.” He stroked my hand.

I couldn’t believe I’d almost given up ever feeling his touch again. I cuddled up closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder.

At that moment, there was a knock on his door, and it opened before Shilah could react. It was his dad. I felt Shilah go rigid, but I stayed where I was.

“Shilah?” his dad said, squinting at him. “I got up to use the bathroom, and I thought I heard you talking to someone.”

Shilah looked down at me. “Uh…I just finished talking on the phone.”

His dad lifted his eyebrows. “To a girl?”

“Yeah. It was Lucy.”

I pinched his side for using her name of all people, and Shilah strained not to flinch.

“Oh.” His dad looked pleased with that answer. “I remember I used to stay up late talking to girls too when I was your age. Well, goodnight. See you on Sunday.”

“‘Night, Dad.”

After his dad left, Shilah’s shoulders relaxed, and he kept his voice low this time. “Man, sometimes I forget other people can’t see you.”

“Yeah, I could tell. You got tense.” I lifted my head off his shoulder and pulled my hand out of his, crossing my arms. “Lucy?”

Shilah looked guilty. “She’s the first person I thought of. My dad knows her, so he doesn’t have to ask questions. If I had said some random name, he would’ve been up all night grilling me about this new girl.”

“So you’re going to pretend
Lucy
is your girlfriend to your family?”

“I don’t
want
to…but it might help.”

I rolled my eyes, looking away from him. “I’m sure Lucy will be thrilled.”

“I don’t know what else to do. Am I supposed to
never
have a girlfriend to the outside world?”

I sighed. “See, this is exactly why I don’t think this is going to work out.”

Shilah put his hand under my chin, making me look at him. “Xia, I’m going to make it work. I love you, not Lucy.”

My face softened. “So what’s your plan?”

“I’m going to let my dad think I’m dating Lucy for a while, but I’m not going to say anything to her about it. And since I’m graduating in a couple months, I won’t have to be here much longer. Then I can easily lie about who my girlfriend is to my family. I just can’t ever introduce her to them.”

I pursed my lips thoughtfully. “Hm…I wonder if I could get away with showing myself to humans sometimes if my superiors aren’t paying attention to me anymore.”

“Are you sure you can risk that?”

“I’ll see, in the future. I don’t have to worry about it now.” I snuggled back closer to him.

He folded his arms around me. “You sure do get jealous easily. I don’t know why you’re threatened by Lucy.”

“I’m not.”

“Yeah, right. But it’s nice knowing you care so much.”

I frowned. “Okay, Lucy does worry me. You’ve known her a long time, and she’s your best friend. In the movies, sometimes people marry their best friend. And most importantly, she’s human.”

“First of all, real life is rarely like in the movies. And answer me this: would I have a reason to worry about you and another guy?”

I snorted at the ridiculous question. “
What
other guy? All male reapers are like my brothers. And unless you have cousins, I don’t think there’s another guy on the face of this planet who has Grim Sight. Without you, I don’t have any other options. Besides that, I’m in love with you, and I don’t see that changing any time soon.”

“And that’s exactly
my
point. Besides, I think I’m doomed to only fall for reapers, and since Ziri and Jayza are the only other two who know me, they’re your only competition.” He grinned.

“Good, because
they
know I’d send them where all the dead souls go if they tried to take you away from me.”

Shilah laughed loudly, and I had to remind him to keep his voice down.

I stayed with him until he fell asleep, then I laid a blanket I found on top of him. I went on a couple of reaping assignments while he slept, always popping back into Shilah’s house when I was done. I explored many parts of the house and, at dawn, I watched while Shilah’s parents scrambled around in a rush to get their luggage packed into their SUV. When they left, I lounged at the kitchen table with my feet propped up in a chair, flipping through a nature magazine I’d found. I wished I could teleport to some of the places I saw in it.

When Shilah finally came down to eat breakfast, he brightened at the sight of me.

“Good morning,” I chirped. “I
am
supposed to say ‘good morning’, right?”

“Yes. Good morning. So, my parents are gone?” He looked around.

“Yep,” I replied. “They left four hours ago. Gosh, you’re a late sleeper.”

“Only on the weekends.” Shilah came over and hugged me around my neck. Then he noticed the magazine. “What you reading?”

“I’m just looking at the pictures. I
have
to go to some of these places, if I ever get my teleportation back.”

I waited while Shilah poured tiny food objects from a box into a bowl and drizzled white liquid over them. He said it was called cereal and milk. I watched, fascinated, while he ate.

“That’s called a spoon, right?” I asked, pointing to the utensil he used to shove the cereal into his mouth.

“Um hm,” Shilah replied, his mouth full.

“Can you eat it?”

“No…”

“Does it have a taste?”

“Not really…”

“What’s it like to taste stuff?”

Shilah swallowed. “Xia, it’s hard to eat while answering your strange questions.”

I grinned sheepishly. “Oh. Sorry. It’s fun watching you be human.”

Shilah rolled his eyes. “I’m glad my humanity is entertaining for you. Usually it’s not something people notice.” He paused. “Did you watch me while I slept last night too?”

I blushed, staring down at the table. “You’re adorable when you’re sleeping. But sometimes you make funny noises.”

He groaned. “This is what I get for having a reaper for a girlfriend.”

I chuckled, and waited while he ate some more cereal. Then I asked, “So, what’re we going to do today? I’m pretty boring now that I can’t teleport anywhere except to my reaping assignments. What do you usually do on a Saturday morning?”

“Well, sometimes I watch TV…”

I gasped. “Really? I
never
get to watch TV! I only do it when reaping somebody near one, but I never get to do it for long. Cool, I’m going to watch TV while you finish eating.” I eagerly stood up from the table.

Smiling, Shilah shook his head in amusement. “I’m never going to get over how excited you get when it comes to normal human things.”

I beamed at him and hurried into the living room. I located the contraption I’d seen humans use to control TVs and pushed the ON button. Television screens were immensely smaller than movie screens, but they contained way more options. I stood in front of the TV, my wide eyes taking in every flashing picture. I’d just learned how to flip through channels when Shilah came into the room.

“You can sit down to watch TV, you know,” he joked, lowering himself onto the couch. “Unless you plan on jumping into it.”

I threw him a look. “I’m not
that
stupid. I know you can’t jump into a TV.”

“Darn, I wanted to see you try.” He chuckled. “Come here.”

I kept my eyes on the TV and backed toward the couch, meaning to sit beside Shilah. However, he grabbed me around my waist and pulled me into his lap. I shrieked in surprise, laughing.

“My turn to use the remote,” he said, trying to grab it from my hand.

I held it out of his reach. “No, I’m not finished with it.”

“You’re watching a boring cooking show! Turn to something more interesting.”

“But she’s teaching me how to make a meal in thirty minutes.”