Grim Crush (Grimly Ever After) (15 page)

“Xia!” he made a swipe for the remote again.

I giggled, holding it up high. “Okay! I’m turning.”

Shilah grumbled in mock anger, watching as I flipped through channels. He played with my braids while I stared transfixed at everything that flashed across the TV.

I stopped it when I saw a scene I recognized. It was footage of Japan, after the tsunami had struck it. I watched for a minute with my mouth hung open, and then a woman on the TV started talking about a shooting that happened last night at a teenage party in New Jersey.

I bolted to my feet. “Oh my gosh. Why does this channel talk about so much death?”

“It’s news,” Shilah said, regarding me with a strange look. “People like knowing what’s going on around the world.”

“But…there are other things going on than people dying! Why do they keep talking about it?”

“They don’t talk about death
all
the time on the news.”

I scowled at the TV. “Now they’re talking about a movie star who just died.”

“Xia, turn the TV if this channel is upsetting you.”

“Gosh, humans actually watch this stuff? Do
you
watch this?”

“Not much. It’s too depressing.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “I can’t believe humans treat death like it’s entertainment. They have no idea. They wouldn’t talk about it like this if they had
my
job.”

“Xia…”

I ignored him, glaring at the TV.

Shilah stood and gently slipped the remote out of my hand, turning the TV off.

I whipped around to face him, my fists clenched. “Why did you do that?!”

He put his hands on my shoulders. “Xia, listen to me. The news isn’t entertainment. It’s just to inform people. Sometimes it helps save people’s lives because they’ll know what to do to keep themselves
safe
from death.”

I glanced at the blank TV screen. “O-oh.” My shoulders fell. I felt embarrassed for overreacting. “I’m being weird again, aren’t I?”

“No, it’s okay. I understand.” Shilah pulled me to him and held me close. I enveloped my arms around his waist, his warm embrace calming me down.

I sighed. “I need my teleportation back. I don’t do so well with human activities.”

He rubbed my back. “You just need to get used to these things. Let’s do something else.”

Chapter 21

For most of the afternoon, Shilah showed me a lot of human stuff. He played his musical keyboard for me and showed me how a laptop worked. He taught me how to take pictures with a camera, but unfortunately, the ones he took of me came out blank, even when I made myself completely visible. Later, he put on some fast-paced music from a CD player, and he showed me how to play some board games. Since I wasn’t knowledgeable enough for the hard ones, we had to get out the kid games Shilah hadn’t played in years. He couldn’t stop laughing at how I played worse than his baby sister had when she was alive.

Around two o’clock, I was losing big time on a game called
Chutes and Ladders
when the doorbell rang.

I raised my eyebrows at Shilah. “Does that mean someone has come to visit?”

“Yeah. I hope it’s not who I think it is…” Shilah stood up from the living room floor and went to the door. As soon as he opened it, his three friends waltzed right in, single file.

“A house all to ourselves!” exclaimed Jim with his hands in the air. “Party time!”

“Yeah!” agreed Travis, plopping down on the couch next to me.

“Hey–!” Shilah cried, closing the front door. “I didn’t say you guys could come over!”

“Well, what else were you going to do in the house alone on a Saturday?” said Lucy. “You must be bored as crap.” I moved to the floor as she sat down in the space where I’d just been sitting. I didn’t want her body passing through me.

Shilah looked at me, and I said, “Your friends can stay. I won’t get in the way.”

“But…I was actually going to do some…cleaning…” Shilah told his friends reluctantly.

Travis laughed loudly. “Yeah, right. So, where’s your dad’s beer so we can get this party started?”

“Travis!”

“I’m just kidding! We’re really here to keep an eye on you. Lucy wanted to make sure you weren’t seeing that mystery girl behind our backs.”

I laughed at that, and Lucy punched Travis on his arm.

Shilah stared at the floor. “I don’t know why you keep thinking I have a secret girlfriend.”

“Maybe ‘cause I’m sitting right here,” I said, grinning.

Shilah grinned back.

“Never mind Travis,” Lucy said. “We’re just here to keep you company.” She noticed the
Chutes and Ladders
game on the coffee table. “Who was playing this?”

“My…eight-year-old cousin was here last night,” Shilah lied. “I forgot to put that up.” He folded the game up, and I cheered silently that I didn’t have to lose another round of it to him.

“I’ll be right back,” he told his friends after he’d put the game back in the box. With his eyes, he motioned for me to follow, then he carried the game upstairs to his room. I came with him.

“I was planning on spending the whole day with you,” Shilah whispered as he shoved the board game onto the top shelf of his closet.

“We can hang out later,” I replied. “I want you to spend time with your friends.”

“Why? I could send them away.”

“They’re probably only going to stay for a couple of hours. I can stay too.”

Shilah eyed me dubiously. “You aren’t going to drive me crazy like you did at
Fuddruckers,
are you?”

“Um…” I pursed my lips in thought, then grinned when his eyes narrowed. “I’ll try to behave. Besides, there will be some deaths I have to get to. It’s going to be a busy day. There’s going to be a murder, a motorcycle accident, and two sick patients, all back-to-back.”

“Oh, wow. Well, you can stay until it’s time for you to leave, but it’s going to be pretty boring watching me and my friends.”

“No way. It’ll be fun eavesdropping on your conversation. It’s a chance for me to study human friendships more.”

Shilah rolled his eyes, walking out of the room. I giggled, placing my hands on his shoulders as I followed him.

He got out a bowl of chips and some soda cans to share with his friends, and they all sat on the floor around the coffee table, eating and playing with a deck of cards. I listened to their chatter as I sat behind Shilah with my arms around his waist, resting my head against his back.

“Shilah, did your mystery girlfriend dump you or something?” Jim suddenly asked.

“What makes you say that?” Shilah inquired, looking up from his cards.

“Last week you were…I don’t know. It’s like you weren’t
there
. I mean, you sat with us at lunch and talked sometimes, but it’s like your mind was always somewhere else.”

“Yeah,” Lucy agreed, putting down a card. “Like you were depressed or something. You were acting like
I
had after my last boyfriend moved away to Texas.”

I sat up straight, more intent on the conversation. I hadn’t realized how much I’d hurt Shilah’s feelings when I’d told him I didn’t want to see him again.

“I just had some things on my mind,” Shilah said, shrugging. “I’m over it now.” He concentrated on his cards again.

“Yeah, you look much better,” Travis put in. “That girl must’ve come back.”

Lucy glared at him. “Would you stop that? Shilah would tell us if he had a girlfriend.”

“Well, what else would explain his recent mood changes?”

“There’s nothing going on with me,” Shilah mumbled. “Just drop it.”

“Was it something with your family?” Lucy asked, ignoring his request. “You know you can tell us anything.”

“I told you, I’m over it. I’m okay now.”

I massaged his shoulders and whispered, “Sorry for hurting you.” He put his hand over mine and squeezed, letting me know he forgave me.

“Remember when your first girlfriend broke up with you?” Jim said. “You stomped around acting grumpy for two weeks.”

“First girlfriend?” I echoed.

“That was when I was twelve,” Shilah told his friends, answering me too. “Of course I’d act that way. And she wasn’t really my girlfriend. She just followed me around everywhere while we were in school. We only kissed twice, and then she started following another guy around.”

I frowned. I don’t know why I had thought I’d been the first girl he’d ever kissed. He was human, unlike me, a grim reaper who was unfamiliar with affection.

“She doesn’t matter anymore,” Shilah added, probably sensing how I’d tensed up behind him. “I don’t even know where she lives now. That was in middle school.”

I snuggled up against him to assure him I wasn’t mad or jealous. His friends started reminiscing about their own past relationships then, and I listened until it was time for me to go reap souls. I whispered to Shilah that I’d see him later, then I teleported.

My mind wandered while I waited for the guy who was going to wreck his motorcycle. Even though I loved Shilah, there were just some things that he and I couldn’t relate to together, as he could with his friends. They could talk about school and their childhoods…my school had involved learning about dead people, and my childhood had involved being surrounded by death. I had no ex-boyfriends and no
real
family members, like actual parents I got to see every day.

We were just so different. I didn’t know how Shilah could look past all that about me.

He must really love me.

Chapter 22

“So she told you our secret, huh?” said Nuwan after pulling me aside in The In-Between. I had been looking for him. Now that I knew who he was, I could see the resemblance he had to Granna. Since reapers have such great health, he looked to be in his late twenties rather than his early forties. His black hair was shoulder-length (zzz-an inch above his shoulders), shorter than Shilah’s.

“Yes, and your secret’s safe with me,” I assured him. “Besides, I’m doing the same thing now.”

“Yeah, Anna told me you were seeing her grandson. As a favor to you and her, I have volunteered to be your evaluator.”

“So Aquil won’t be on my back anymore? Yes!” I pumped my fist in triumph.

“For the most part, no, but you never know when one of our superiors may want to pop in to check on you themselves. So be very careful.”

“Hey, do you think I could get my teleportation back?”

“I asked Waiser about that too. He said if I give good reports about you for the next couple of weeks, he’ll consider giving you your freedom again.”

I groaned. “A couple of weeks. Okay. Thanks for everything, Nuwan.”

“You’re welcome. Now, this doesn’t mean you can do
anything
you want all the time. If you start causing problems, our superiors will notice. So I can’t let you go completely wild.”

I nodded. “I know. You won’t have any problems with me, I promise. Besides seeing Shilah, I’m going to follow all the rules.” At least until I got my teleportation back.

“I’m sure you will. I have to be perfectly good to keep our superiors from finding out I go see Anna. Well, have fun with your new freedom.” Nuwan smiled, winked, and teleported away.

I beamed. I couldn’t believe my luck. Life, or non-life, would be much simpler from now on.

* * *

On Sunday, Shilah and I lay on our backs, side by side, on a blanket we’d spread out beside the stream. We stared up at the sky, where puffy white clouds drifted overhead. It was near sunset, my favorite time of the day, so the sky was turning orange and pink in the west.

“So you graduate from high school in June, right?” I asked Shilah. I’d been thinking about the future again; how I wanted things to stay like this forever.

“Yep,” he replied. “Can’t wait.”

“What are you going to do next?”

“Well…I know what I
don’t
want to do. I don’t want to work in a funeral home or become a coroner.”

I laughed. “Had enough of death for one lifetime?”

“More than enough. Anyway, I’ve been accepted into the University of Arizona. I’ve always wanted to travel, and you’ve actually helped me love it even more. So I’m going to major in journalism so I can be a travel writer.”

“Really? That’s perfect! And then when I get my teleportation back, I can take you all over the world to do your job and you won’t even need to fly in a plane.”

Shilah grinned at me.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re talking like we’re going to stay together for a long time.”

I smiled too. “I hope we do. But there are so many things that could happen in the future.” I didn’t like thinking about all the things humans usually did when they got older; things that Shilah would never be able to experience because of me.

I felt Shilah’s hand wrap around mine. It snapped me out of my thoughts, and I squeezed his hand affectionately.

“Xia, you don’t know exactly what it means to love somebody, do you?”

“I have an idea. Ziri made me watch a gazillion romance movies.”

“I told you, real life is
rarely
like the movies. When you love somebody, you’re willing to make sacrifices and change your life for that person if you have to.”

I shook my head against the blanket. “I don’t want you making any sacrifices for me.”

“But what if I want to?”

“Uh…I’m touched, but I don’t think that’s fair.”

“What’s not fair is that you’re breaking rules to be with me, but you say I shouldn’t change anything in my life for you.”

“But I’m not missing out on anything. You can miss out on plenty of human things because of me.”

“Maybe those things aren’t important to me.”

I swiveled my head to look at him. “So you never want a girlfriend to show off to your family and friends? A girl who can hang out with you around them? A girlfriend who has a normal job you can tell people about?”

Shilah’s face was unreadable as he gazed at the sky. “I don’t care about those things anymore.”

“Sure, you say that now.”  I sighed, studying him. “I don’t know how you can love me. I don’t even have a soul.”

Shilah turned toward me, lying on his side. “I don’t believe that. You do have a soul.”

“How do you know? I’ve seen
hundreds
of souls, but I don’t see how I can have one if I’m not alive.”

“A caring person like you
has
to have a soul.”

I stared up at the clouds again. “I accepted a long time ago that I don’t have one. You don’t have to try to make me feel better.”

Shilah propped himself up on one elbow. “You know what? I think you
are
a soul. When you died on earth as a baby, you left behind a body, right? So what does that make you? You must’ve been that body’s soul.”

I considered that theory. “I’ve never thought of it like that before. But I don’t
look
like a soul. I’m not transparent.”

“Because you’re a special kind of soul. You’re a soul that’s not alive, but not quite dead either.”

“Interesting.” I inhaled deeply, feeling much better. I liked thinking of myself as a soul without a living body. I grinned at Shilah. “Like you’ve said before, I’m super weird. How do you like being in love with a freak?”

He moved closer to me, his face hovering over mine. “Do you want me to show you?” I could feel his breath on my face, and a shiver rippled through my body.

I nodded, his closeness making me speechless. He lowered his lips to mine, his upper body leaning over me. Every time he kissed me, my heart fluttered happily. I breathed in sharply through my nose, the amazing feeling still catching me by surprise.

I reached up with both hands to brush back his long hair. It felt so silky and soft to my fingertips. His hair was my second favorite trait about him, besides his tender lips.

He pressed his lips more firmly into mine and ran his hands down my sides, along my waist. I trembled slightly from his gentle caress, and again I lost sense of reality as a multitude of feelings rushed through me.

We made out until the sun had almost set, leaving us surrounded by near darkness and buzzing night insects. I actually stayed with Shilah
too
long, because when I was aware of time again, I sensed that I was late for a reaping assignment.

“Crap, Ziri’s going to be pissed,” I muttered after telling Shilah.

He sighed, stroking my cheek. “It won’t take long, right?”

“No, but I have another one in eighteen minutes, so I better go straight to it. Sometimes Death can be so demanding.” I moved out from under him and stood. “Are you going to be here later?”

He sat up. “I should go see if my parents are home from their trip yet. And I have a paper to work on for school. Maybe you could come see me tonight?”

“Sure. See you later.” I leaned down to give him a quick kiss, then teleported.

When I arrived in the apartment where a guy had strangled his girlfriend to death, I found Ziri just ushering the woman into Purgatory.

“How did everything go?” I asked when the portal had disappeared.

Ziri glared at me. “I had to convince the soul she couldn’t hurt her ex-boyfriend in ghost form, but other than that, everything went
fine
.”

I grimaced. “Sorry. I was with Shilah.”

“Of course. You know, if this had been a runaway soul, I wouldn’t have had a scythe and I wouldn’t have been able to catch her. Our superiors would’ve realized a soul was missing eventually…”

“I know. I can’t make mistakes like this anymore if I want to stay out of trouble.”

Ziri sighed. “I feel like I’m the trainer and you’re the trainee now. You’re excused this time, since I like Shilah.”

I bowed in a dramatic way. “Thank you, Your Majesty.” I grinned. “I learned that line from a movie.”

Ziri laughed and shook her head. “You are so crazy, Xia.”

“I know. Now, let’s get to our next assignment.” I draped my arm across Ziri’s shoulders, and we teleported to a hospital together.