Grim Love - A Novella (4 page)

There wasn't anything she could do about that
while they were there. “Or, are you my guardian angel?” Jasper
attempted a smile, but thought against it once he realized it'd be
too painful. “Every time I’ve tried to die, I’ve woken up again. It
sucks. I can't even get that right. I’ve chosen death. So, am I
dead now? Is that why you're here? ” Looking defeated, he put his
head back down. Evangeline found herself wanting to comfort him,
but she knew that would be a bad idea. She already had a problem on
her hands. She didn't need to add to it. His eyes closed again.
Relaxing her tense shoulder muscles, Evangeline put her head down
to think.

Listening to Jasper fall into a deep slumber,
Evangeline struggled to make a decision. Deciding it'd be safe to
look up at him, she took a deep breath, hoping he wouldn't be
staring back at her again. Before she could fix her eyes on him,
the alarms attached to him rang out. He flat-lined.

A team of people were there within seconds.
While they worked and shouted orders, one put paddles in her hands
and straddled his torso. The shock jostled Jasper's body, sending
chills down Evangeline's spine as she watched in horror. This
wasn't what she'd signed up to see. Although a part of her wanted
him to have another chance to change his life, she needed him to
die for her mission to be accomplished. Feeling emotions were
something she'd not thought possible in the afterlife, but an
intense desire to keep Jasper alive built inside of her. She'd
never been one to doubt herself in life, but she found herself torn
with what to hope for in this instance. She knew Jasper deserved
more time to heal all that ailed him.

Lucius stared at Evangeline. “He’s not going
to die.” Her voice emotionless, “That’s something I am certain of,
Lucius, no matter what you think.”

“Evangeline, I've been doing this job much
longer than you have and I say, he's going to die.” Jasper’s spirit
must be too strong to die, but Lucius wasn’t going to tell her that
because she had to discover it for herself. If he told her, she'd
come to rely on it and he didn’t want that to happen. He'd made
that mistake with another once. “You will wait.”

“Why?”

“Because I told you to wait, that's why. I'm
in charge. You’ve not been in this position long enough to question
an order. Your know what you're here to do and I expect you to do
it. Arguing with me is not one of your duties, now is it? You may
have gotten away with that in life, but look where that got you.
Don’t leave until his soul is ready.”

“I may have to kill him myself.”

Sighing, in an attempt to keep the laugh he
felt from spilling out, Lucius shook his head. “We gather the
spirits of the dead. Killing people isn't part of the job.”

“Lucius, he's not going to die.”

“You have no proof of that. The doctor says
he’s stable, but he flat - lined. Death, in these cases, often
comes when you least expect it to, most often, after the doctor's
come to the conclusion that their patient's fine. Until you can
prove otherwise, I will not accept you telling me he’s not going to
die.”

“What proof do I need?”

Answering that question wouldn't be easy.
Lucius would have to resort to another not-so-honest response that
would appease the feisty reaper. “You’ll know when you find it,
Evangeline.”

The grunt in her throat told him what she
thought of that answer, but she didn't push any further. Sighing,
Lucius crossed the threshold to monitor from his den. It wasn’t
until then he realized Evangeline hadn’t said anything about Jasper
being able to see her, which wasn’t a surprise to him, but he
figured it would be for her. Evangeline already knew she’d made one
mistake. She wasn’t going to say anything else that might make
things worse for her.

Being in his position wasn’t exactly one
Lucius enjoyed. He knew, if it wasn’t for reapers, souls would
wander, wishing and hoping for a reprieve from their fruitless
journeys. Those like him, who were in positions of power, spent
centuries fulfilling their duties and had seen many times of
change, but had come to rely on the fact that not all changes
remained permanent.

* * * *

“Where did you go?” Evangeline remained
silent as Jasper spoke to her. “You can talk to me. I know no one
else here can see you, otherwise you would have been asked to leave
a long time ago. The only logical explanation for you being here is
that you're my guardian angel. Why else would you have come back?
So, I’m not going to die now?” Evangeline didn't want to tell him
Lucius said otherwise. “If I do die, how long will you be here?
Will I be able to see you the whole time?”

More questions she couldn’t answer. She
turned to look out the window, hoping Jasper would leave her alone.
Lucius said Jasper would die, so it had to happen, but she did her
best not to sigh in such a way that he could hear. He didn’t look
like he would die anytime soon. It seemed like he might end up
going to prison instead, though. With his other crimes, his
circumstances, whatever they were, had been taken into
consideration, so she hoped they would be again, if he did
live.

Evangeline turned to look at him, knowing
he'd been staring at her. Seeing hope in his eyes, didn’t help her
dilemma. He thought she'd been called there to help him. Evangeline
knew he wouldn't understand that she'd come to guide his spirit not
make him see the light of day.

“Please talk to me. Standing there in silence
isn’t going to make me go away. I get the feeling you hope I
disappear. If you're my guardian angel, you know what I’ve been
through. I could use a friend right now.”

Sighing,
Evangeline nodded. “I don’t know everything. I’ve just been
assigned to you, but I know you haven’t been in a good place,
Jasper.”
Might as well go with the guardian angel thing,
she thought
.
Telling him she'd been there to collect his soul
wasn’t going to do any good. “If you need to, you can talk to me.
It'd be better if you didn’t do it where other people can see you.”
She smiled at him. “We don’t want anyone to think you're
crazy.”

Jasper nodded before starting, “They’ve
talked about that before.” He blinked, trying to stop himself from
crying. “My life...well, I’ve done nothing with it. I just
exist.”

“You live. Your still worthwhile.” She walked
over to his bed and took hold of his hand. “No matter what people
say to you or about you, you still matter. You’ve just got to find
the path you want to take and you’re not going to be able to do
that if you keep doing dangerous things.”

“I wasn’t trying to kill myself.”

“That time. I know you have before, Jasper,
and it needs to stop.” She had no idea why she’d said that, but she
thought guardian angels said that sort of thing. “You need to live
a different life.”

“How? I don’t have a job. I live in my
grandfather's place. I don't have anything to call my own except my
car.” Smirking, he continued, “I don't have that anymore either,
now. Plus, I'm sure they're going to lock me up for this.” He shook
his head. “You don’t know what it’s like to be me.”

“No, I don’t, but I do know what it felt like
to be me and I would have ended up like you if I hadn’t died.
That's not going to happen to you. You're going to live your life
the way it’s meant to be lived and stop trying to end it all before
it’s even begun.”

He stared at her. “What happened?”

“When my friends and I stole a boat, I
drowned, along with all my friends. You're my chance to make amends
for that stupid choice because I can help you live a life.” She
wondered if maybe he could be her chance to make things right.
“We’re going to have to take this one step at a time though. Are
you ready for that?”

“Businesses don't like people with criminal
records.”

“There's always going to be someone willing
to give you a chance. You just have to find them. Besides, you're
not a criminal.”

“I am now. My grandfather told me if I got
into trouble with the police again I shouldn't bother going back. I
never liked living with him anyway, but at least I had a roof over
my head. I should have known better, but I didn’t care. You know,
I’ve driven into stuff more times than I can remember. I can't
believe I hit a wall this time.”

“Well, maybe you need to have your eyes
checked because you hit something. You were lucky because if you’d
done that anywhere else or with no witnesses, you could have
died.”

“Lucky?” Jasper touched his hand to his face.
“Right now, I don’t feel lucky. I could be dead right now. Without
you standing here telling me to straighten my life out, I'd be
trying to figure out how to get out of this place. So, you want me
to make the best of my situation? Well, the way I see it, I'm stuck
in a bed with wires hanging out of everywhere. There's cops right
outside my door just waiting to throw my ass in jail. My whole body
hurts like hell. I feel like my face is going to fall off and
you're here telling me to change my life like it's easy to just
start all over again from scratch.”

Perhaps it was nerves or plain ignorance, but
Evangeline couldn't help but laugh. “Of course, it hurts. Look at
you! The pain reminds you that you're still alive. You could have
ended up like me. Dead. You say that's what you want, but, I
promise you, there's nothing wonderful about things on this end. No
matter what I do or how much I hope, I'm still dead. No second
chance for me.”

Lucius laughed. He liked Evangeline. She had
spunk. It wasn’t every reaper who could grab hold of something and
go with it the way she did. He knew her compassion would get in the
way, but it intrigued him to watch her struggle between both
worlds. Jasper needed someone, so she'd be that someone, even if it
did annoy her boss. Shaking his head, Lucius looked away, knowing
he needed to plan for whatever came next. He'd already been warned
that the two of them would end up falling in love. He hoped she'd
be strong enough to resist the temptation. No reason to become
involved in something that could never sustain beyond her
duties.

Chapter 4

Jasper stood in front of the judge. He'd been
charged with two counts of drunk driving. The judge knew him well
because of the number of times he’d been arrested for one thing or
another. Circumstances were different this time. With help -
invisible help - Jasper had begun to make some changes in his
life.

Evangeline remained by Jasper's side, feeling
more nervous than she let on. She'd still not told him the truth
about herself. It seemed to help him believing she'd been sent as
his guardian angel. In a way, that's what she’d become without
realizing it.

In the last several weeks since his accident,
Jasper had grown stronger and Lucius became more and more angry
with the situation Evangeline allowed herself to be in. It didn't
bode well with him that Evangeline neglected to mention it in
conversation with him either. She had no idea that he knew and he
kept it that way for the time being. What he witnessed was his
newest reaper falling in love with Jasper.

Sighing, Evangeline focused on the current
circumstances because Jasper could end up in prison. She nibbled
her bottom lip, hoping it wouldn’t happen after all the hard work
they’d done. After what felt like days, the judge looked at Jasper,
“You've done much more than I expected, Mr. Muldoon. Last time I
saw you, it seemed obvious to everyone that life had damaged you
more than it had most people, and, after all you’ve been through
I’m not surprised, but now it looks like you’re trying to sort your
life out. I see no reason to lock you up yet. Now tell me, the job
you’ve found, is it one you can walk to or do you have some means
of transportation other than you getting behind the wheel
again?”

“I can walk or take the bus.” Hoping the
judge meant what he thought he meant, Jasper continued, “I don’t
have a car now anyway, so I'll have to find another way.”

“Good answer because you have no business
driving.” The judge nodded. “I’m banning you from driving for six
months.” Looking at the state's attorney, “Has the BMV been
notified?”

The attorney nodded. Turning his attention
back to Jasper, “The court rules that a fine of $1000 plus the
$1.00 court fee be put in place. Now, that you will be employed, I
will extend payment until 60 days from now. Contact the county
clerk for payment instructions and, understand this, Mr. Muldoon,
if your fine is not paid by the end of that 60 days, we will be
right here again and you will go to jail. Understood?”

Jasper nodded. “Yes, your honor. Thank
you.”

“Keep walking the path you’re on now, Mr.
Muldoon. Let's try and get it right. Get some help. Go to a
meeting.”

Jasper had worked hard and, at last, it
seemed to be paying off. Lucius had a growing sense of uncertainty
as he watched Evangeline. Jasper, no matter what she did, would be
dead within a year, and there would be no way around it. Lucius
didn’t know what would happen, but he knew something would. It
wasn't a reapers place to know how ahead of time. As he watched
them, Jasper hugged Evangeline in thanks for all her help. He
studied the looks they gave each other. Although they weren't yet
ready to admit they were falling in love, Lucius knew he had to do
something to stop it from destroying his reaper. Sighing, he
brushed a hand through his hair as he tried to work out what his
next step would be. He knew whatever he did would upset Evangeline.
Sometimes he hated his job.

* * * *

The couple sat in Jasper’s apartment.
Evangeline snuggled up against him, knowing she had to tell him
sooner rather than later that she wasn’t his guardian angel. She
knew what would happen if she did. He’d go crazy, do something
destructive, and everything they’d done together would be for
nothing. As she bit her lip, she looked at him, their eyes meeting
as he looked down at her. Smiling, he reached down to brush wisps
of hair off her face before bending to kiss her.