Grim Love - A Novella (5 page)

“Evie, I know you aren’t..well, like real or
whatever, but I think I'm falling in love with you and I want us to
make this, whatever it is, something more.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jasper.”
She sighed. “I care about you very much, but...”

“Care about me?”

Sighing, she bit down harder on her lip.
“Okay, maybe that wasn’t the right word to use.”

“Do you feel the same way about me as I do
about you?” When she opened her mouth to answer, he shook his head.
“This isn’t about what you think you feel, but about what you know
you feel, so I want an honest answer. If you don’t love me, just
tell me.”

For several seconds she did think that would
be the better option, but she'd already lied to him more than she
cared to admit. “I do love you. That doesn’t mean that this is a
good thing. I’m…”

“Yeah, I know, but it doesn’t matter to me.
You are who you are and I want to be with you for the rest of my
life however long or short that ends up being. I want us to be in a
relationship.”

“Nothing about this is normal. Being in a
relationship with someone like me isn't a good idea. You won’t be
able to take me out or introduce me to your friends. It's too
complicated. You won’t be able to make me a true part of your
life…”

“Maybe that would matter to someone who had a
life, but I have nothing without you. Until I met you, all I
wanted...well, now...I have a reason to live.”

“Who happens to be dead.”

“So what?”

Evangeline stood. “I shouldn’t have stayed
this long. This should never have happened. I'm such an idiot.” She
shook her head, heading for the door. “Don’t you dare do anything
stupid.”

Jasper took hold of her wrist as she went to
open the door and she stopped, feeling the warmth of him behind
her. “Look, we don’t have to do anything about this. I don’t mind
if you don’t want us to be in a relationship. Just don’t leave
me.”

Evangeline tugged her wrist out of his hand,
turning to look at him, realizing how much she wanted to stay.
Thinking, maybe she should stay, but knowing that she couldn't, she
started, “Jasper…”

“Tell me no if this isn’t what you want.”

When he pressed his lips against hers she
knew she couldn’t say no. She wanted this. She’d never had a real
relationship before. There had been plenty of regretful flings.
This felt different. Being with him would show her what she’d
missed in life.

The kiss deepened as she curled her hand
around the back of his head, holding him so he couldn’t move even
if he wanted to. He made a sound in the back of his throat,
pressing tighter against her. “Bed,” he whispered.

“Don’t be boring.”

Lucius
paced. Their relationship had gone a step further and he still had
no idea what to do. This put him in a difficult position. As
the
reaper, he should be furious
with her for the choices she’d made, but he kept in mind that she
had no real life experience. She would be nineteen for the rest of
time. If he didn't know any better, he'd say that Jasper somehow
played a part in why he'd chosen her for this position.

No one had prepared Lucius for the job. He
remembered many occasions when he'd felt the need to seek refuge in
his office when his duties became too much for him. It took time to
come to terms with all that the job entailed. He'd resigned himself
to his job. That didn’t mean there hadn’t been times when he wished
he could help people instead of guiding their souls to the world of
the dead.

In the end, Jasper would die. Evangeline
would try to stop it from happening. She'd find out that she
wouldn't be able to prevent the inevitable. She'd try hard. Lucius
had to respect the efforts she'd make, but he knew, they'd prove
futile. Jasper would go to the world of the dead the way it'd been
planned from the moment he'd been given life.

Since she’d signed a contract, agreeing to be
a reaper for one hundred Earth years, she wouldn’t be able to go
with Jasper to the place his soul would be summoned to. Could
Lucius explain that to her? He shook his head. She wasn’t going to
listen. Instead, she’d assume that he'd become angry with her for
what she’d done and believe that everything would get worse. Of
course, things were going to be bad anyway because a reaper wasn’t
meant to fall in love. That didn’t mean it didn’t happen, but it
wasn’t supposed to, and he should have stopped it, but
understanding her youthful ignorance, he let it go too far.

Making up excuses didn’t help. Lucius knew
his position. He should have protected Evangeline instead of
letting her get involved. Now he'd have to do something that wasn’t
going to make either of them happy. Sighing, he wished things were
different, in the same way he'd done before for countless other
reapers over the centuries.

Evangeline woke in Jasper’s bed. Her head
still spinning, she couldn't remember how they'd made it to the
bed. She recalled snippets of their lovemaking in her mind from
every corner the small apartment had - the floor in the living
room, the sofa, the floor in the bedroom. It wasn’t like any sex
she’d had before. This time she knew she had real feelings for a
man. Feelings she shouldn’t have. Feelings she should have walked
away from instead of letting them get the better of her. She had to
remember her duties as a reaper and stop acting like a twisted
guardian angel. She shouldn’t have let things go as far as they
had. As she tried to work out what her next step should be, he
opened his eyes, smiling up at her.

“Morning.” He voice sleepy until their eyes
met. “What’s wrong, Evie?”

“I need to tell you something.” Evangeline
swallowed as she tried to find the right words in a situation where
there were no right words. “You know when we first met and you came
to the conclusion that I...” Jasper nodded, sitting up. “ well, I
had to be your guardian angel or...okay, I wasn’t there to look
after you...I...you were supposed to die and I'd been sent to guide
your spirit to the afterlife. I still don’t know why you’re alive,
but you are, and I wanted to help you, because you were like me
when I...” She blinked away tears that were threatening to spill.
“I should have told you before. I just…” One trickled down her
cheek. “I didn’t want this to end, because I love you, and…”

“Why did you think it would have to end?”

“I’m a reaper.” Another tear. “Jasper, if you
had any sense you’d be terrified of me.”

“Sorry, that’s not going to happen. I’m not
terrified of you and I’m not going to walk away from this just
because of this. You’ve done everything you could to help me and I
don't care what you think you are or what you are. This isn’t
something I’m going to walk away from. Our relationship means more
to me than anything right now. I love you and I’d ask you to marry
me if that were possible.”

“I'm afraid, marriage isn't possible. She's
no longer of this world.” In less than a second Evangeline threw on
some clothes and jumped out of bed, staring at Lucius.

She started to explain,“This…”

“We both know it’s what it looks like. We
should talk because this…” He gestured. “This is something that
should never have happened. It's something I should have put an end
to when I first found out, instead of being stupid enough to think
that maybe he had a chance. Jasper should have died. His soul may
have been strong enough to survive this time, but it won’t be the
next time.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do know that.” Lucius shook his head. “I
admit, I wasn’t being truthful with you before. Certain spirits are
strong enough to survive and Jasper’s one of them. He kept
surviving things that would kill other people, but his luck will
run out. You will do everything you can to save him, until
everything isn’t enough…”

“Why are you telling me this, Lucius?” She
glanced over her shoulder at Jasper, who had no idea either of them
were still in the room. “What good is this going to do?”

“This is going to be one of the hardest
things you’ll ever have to do, but you need to let him die. It’s
what has to happen.”

“Last time, he pulled through.”

“For some reason he'd been stronger last time
than he will be the next time. Sometimes it happens and you, to
begin with, can’t go with him in his afterlife.”

“I signed a contract.” She blinked away
tears. “I’m not going to let him die.”

“You have to.”

“No, I don’t. That’s what you’re telling me I
have to do, but I disagree.” Their eyes met. “Have you ever been in
love before, Lucius?” Fury filled his.“Then, you’ll know why I
can’t.”

“Of course I know why you can’t, but that
doesn’t mean you don’t have to. I had to. I had to let the woman I
loved die, and go into the world of the dead, knowing that I won’t
pass on myself until the end of the world. A hundred years is
nothing in comparison.”

“No, it’s not, but there’s no guarantee he’ll
still be in love with me then.”

Lucius laughed. “You told him you were a
reaper and he doesn’t want to let you go. Having to be apart for a
hundred years isn’t going to change how he feels about you.”

“It will change me, though. What if I don’t
love him anymore?”

“After three hundred years I still love her,
so I don’t doubt you’ll still love him, because he means so much to
you. For now, though, you have to leave him, and let someone else
reap his soul.”

Evangeline shook her head. “I’m not going to
walk away. Not yet.” She looked at Jasper. “I know what he’ll do if
I do that and I don’t want him to die because of me. That will…”
She shuddered. “That will be too much for me to bear.”

“I can’t let you stay with him.”

“A couple of days… a week… just give me some
time, to explain, because otherwise he's going to do something
stupid.”

“You have four days. I will come for you
after that.”

Nodding, Evangeline stared at Jasper, wishing
things were different.

Chapter 5

Evangeline sat at the kitchen table, thinking
about her next step. Jasper went to work, so he couldn’t ask her
any questions. If he'd been there, he would have wanted to help
her. He'd know something happened and she wouldn't want him
involved. She wasn’t ready to tell him. How do you tell someone you
love that they're going to die no matter what you do or say? After
everything they’d been through to begin to get his life straight,
she couldn’t say that to him and she didn’t want to walk away
without giving him some sort of explanation as to why she had to
leave.

When Lucius first told her about Jasper’s
death, going into hiding ran through her mind, before she realized
there wasn't anywhere they could go that they wouldn’t be found. It
wouldn't work. Jasper wasn’t going to want her to leave. After
everything she’d learned about him and his life, that wouldn't be a
surprise.

Sighing, she stood up and paced the living
room, doing her best to find a way out of the mess she’d gotten
herself into and hoping for a solution that would cause the least
amount of pain for either of them. Jasper had lost too many people
already. The last thing she wanted to be is the next one on the
list of people that let him down. Mother, dead; father, prison;
grandfather, present, but never trusted or truly loved young Jasper
and, now, lover, already dead.

Falling in love with him shouldn’t have
happened, but shouldn’t haves weren’t doing her any good. It had
happened and she had to deal with that as best she could. How could
she tell Jasper without breaking his heart?

Having asked herself that question more times
than she could remember, Evangeline felt like she'd been banging
her head against a brick wall. Given her position, that would have
been easier. The dead didn’t feel physical pain. Unlucky for her,
she felt emotional pain and she felt like at any moment should
could fall apart. She couldn’t let that happen because Jasper would
be home soon. She had two days left, but she wasn't getting
anywhere fast. A voice in the back of her mind kept telling her she
had to tell him the truth. It wasn’t fair not to tell him. Sighing
again, she rested her head on her hands. “I hate this,” she
muttered, her voice muffled on her arm.

“You’re going to leave me, aren’t you?”
Jasper’s voice made her jump. She hadn’t heard the door open.
“That’s why you’ve been like this the last couple of days.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Then, don’t.”

“Jasper, I wish things were that simple, but
my boss…”

“Reapers have bosses?”

“We do. There are three of us plus him.” She
looked up at Jasper. “He found out about us. He's angry with
me.”

“He didn’t sound angry.” He sat opposite her,
their eyes meeting. “Even though I couldn’t see either of you, I
could hear what you were saying. It took me a minute to realize the
whispering I heard wasn’t in my mind, but I did hear the
conversation. I know you have your duties or whatever, so I didn't
interrupt. It sounded like business.”

“Oh…” Evangeline shivered. “Then, you
know?”

“Can you call Lucius?”

“She doesn’t need to call me.” Lucius stepped
out from the hallway. “You, Jasper, are in a very interesting
position because it’s not everyone who can see a reaper. There are
some people who can and they know what we are because of how close
they are to dying, but you, as I’m sure you heard me say, have a
very strong spirit. It’s kept you alive this long.” He studied the
two of them. “Although, right now, I'm certain that you will die
within the year, but there's always a chance you could survive
given how strong you've remained throughout terrible
hardships.”

“But that will only happen if Evangeline
leaves and I fall out of love with her before I die?” Shaking his
head at the thought of it, Jasper continued, “Even if she does
leave, I’m not just going to fall out of love with her.”