Gringa - in the Clutches of a Ruthless Drug Lord - 2 (2 page)

Sounds corny, but you’re my one and only love. Nobody in this whole fucked up world can replace you. Forever, Payton.

I don’t plan on joining them for dinner tonight. I plan to make my move, kill myself while they’re seated at the dinner table. But there’s a knock at my door and Diablo enters. I stiffen - he never knocks and he never comes to my room except for his midnight visits.

Now he stands at the door and looks at me. ‘Come eat, Payton’ he says, his voice humble and unfamiliar to me.

What the hell? Personally asking me to join him for dinner instead of yelling “Gringaaa!” from the dining room? Using my
real
name?

Maybe Marcus filled him in on my state of misery at Siempre today? That coupled with the fact that he witnessed my breakdown last night. He’s never seen me cry before. Certainly not the way I cried last night. And let’s not forget that I look terrible today – deranged.

I want to say “No” but I have no fight left in me, so I nod and meekly follow him. As for dinner, I don’t even bother to eat. I just wish everyone wouldn’t stare so much - must be something to do with my tear-stained face and swollen eyes. Most of the men have concerned expressions on their faces, though.

Christa and Santana’s eyes dart between Diablo’s face and mine, curious to know what’s going on.

I don’t look at Diablo, but I feel his eyes boring into me.

‘Diablo!’ Christa snaps.

Diablo tears his eyes away from me to look at her.

‘What is the matter Diablo?’ she demands. ‘You not listening to me, to any of us.’

‘I am listening,’ he says and to her ire, looks at me again.

‘Naha!’ Christa’s nostrils flare. ‘You ... you look at Gringa all night and you ... you ignore me Diablo.
No me gusta!
This is important.’

He’s doing it again – looking at me.

‘Diaaablo!’

‘What is it?’ he asks, turning to Christa, his voice weary.

Happy that she has his full attention, Christa whines away in Spanish.

While they talk, my mind drifts. I should have said no to Diablo in the very beginning. I mean, the villagers continue their lives as normal with their loved ones while I wither away in this torment chamber. How dare they go on with their lives when I’m being violated by the beast of Mexico every night? Why weren’t they mourning with me? Time to end the pain. Euthanize myself. Nobody else gives a damn. No use waiting for God; we all saw how she short-changed me. I’m on my own.

Dinner ends and I quietly head for the cliff. The cliff is a sheer drop and considering my current mental state, jumping off will be easy.

I stand at the edge and remove my shoes. Why, I have no idea - I guess right now, my mind is devoid of all logic.

Taking a deep breath, I step onto the precipice and look down at the drop and …get such a fright.

What the hell am I doing? What the hell am I thinking? Imagine plummeting down this cliff – I might ... die. Christ!

I can’t do this. Maybe I’m not psyched enough or maybe I’m too much of a coward, but I just can’t do it. How the hell do suicide bombers do it? What am I going to do with seventy virgins anyway? Just more fucking mouths to feed.

I’ll go back to the ranch and talk to Diablo, demand some changes. He seems concerned and afraid to lose me, so maybe I can convince him that...

‘Gringa!!’ Someone’s shouts my name. ‘Gringa!’ It’s Troy, racing towards me. ‘Don’t do it! Don’t jump!

‘What? Jump? Oh no, I’m …’

Suddenly, someone wrestles me to the floor.

‘What the fuck …?’

It’s Diablo, pinning me down. He shakes his head from side-to-side, a frantic look in his eye.

Um …how do I tell him I wasn’t going to like, you know - I changed my mind about killing myself? This is a most embarrassing. ‘Eh …um …leave me alone!’ I say, needing to say
something
.

He shakes his head again.

Troy runs up to me, panting. ‘Gringa, this is so stupid. Why you do that? Huh?’

‘Eh …because …’

Diablo and Troy exchanged puzzled looks.

Diablo mutters to Troy and Troy reluctantly leaves the cliff side.

It’s just me and Diablo now and he’s looking at me with all his eyebrow rings raised.

‘Well, I don’t like …’ Fuck! How do I say this? ‘Like, I’m not happy here ...’

‘
Si
.’ His manner, his voice - all humble right now.

‘I don’t like you touching me …’

‘But you are my woman. I am your man. I must touchayou. How I not touchayou, eh?’

‘No, no, it’s not that simple. I’m
not
your woman. I
don’t
want you to touch me.’

‘
Si
.
Si
. I no touchayou anymore. You ask me, I touchayou. You no ask me, I no touchayou.’

What? Is that it? Is this all it takes? He won’t touchame unless I
ask
him? It’s too easy - he’s lying.

‘You’re lying. You’re just saying that.’

‘No …true. I leave you ’lone.’

Really? Well, maybe he can be trusted. I mean I’m never going to ask him to touch me, so I’m safe then. I quickly recover from my surprise and fire a few more rounds. ‘I wanna go home.’

Silence.

Okay, so I was pushing it. ‘Well, I eh ... I wanna see my family. Often.’

‘
Si
.’

For a few moments I glare at him, then I get up and without another word, walk back to the ranch. Diablo follows at a distance.

A couple of things happen after that – Diablo stops his midnight visits, I’m put on an informal suicide watch - Troy and Diablo hover around me all the time to ensure I don’t revisit the cliff.

Knowing that I’m not going to endure any more nightly visits from Diablo, relaxes me and my spirit slowly returns over the next few weeks.

28 July 02

Bastido doesn’t visit anymore. Hooray! Don’t ever wanna see his grotesque face over mine again. Rather kiss a lizard. A big, fat, slimy, swamp lizard. Big swamp lizard and Loch Ness Monster. Big swamp lizard, Loch Ness Monster and Nevada rattlesnake.

Christa hates me. Not sure why but I know I’m gonna get my ass kicked by her one of these days. Have to be careful.

A week has gone by and we’re having dinner, when we hear a commotion outside. The men hurry towards the action, while I saunter outside, curious to see what is going on.

They’ve captured another man. His face is bloodied and he’s on his knees while Christa interrogates him.

Diablo observes quietly but keeps glancing at me.

I feel sorry for the man as I know how it’s gonna end tonight – Diablo will probably cut his throat under Christa’s goading.

Christa cracks her whip on the cobblestones of the courtyard and I flinch.

I’m wondering if I can do anything to save the man, when I hear him say my name. Surprised, I look carefully – it’s Austin!

‘Ohmigod!’ I shout and race towards him.

But Christa cracks her whip in my path, forcing me back.

I love Austin and to see him like this - at Christa’s mercy, infuriates me and my rage takes over. I slam into Christa, knock her over and grab her whip. ‘Leave him alone!’ I snarl.

She lies stunned on the ground. I don’t think she ever believed I would do something like this. I regret it immediately of course, but I’m not going to let her know that so I glare at her or at least fake it.

There’s a hush all around I never thought possible with these drunken men.

Christa, with the aid of Digger, slowly gets to her feet and smiles at me. A cold, malicious smile which tells me I’m fucked.

Suddenly, she lunges at me, screaming like a banshee. But the skill of two self-defence classes, coupled with the experience I had playing football with Austin in the past, comes in handy – I side-step her and backhand her.

That stuns her even more. That’s right bitch, I’m full of surprises. (Just ask Paris. I knocked her out once when we were teenagers. Got fed up with her bullying and socked her in the eye. Gave her a real shiner.) The men roar with excitement. Two women circling each other, wanting to scratch each other’s eyes out – it’s soft porn to them.

‘Fight! Fight! Fight!’ they holler. Some sends for more whisky, while others fish out their wallets to wager. A dream come true for some.

Actually, I’m nervous. Christa has so many people on her side, while I have none. I glance at Diablo. He leans back on a wall and watches us. He too seems amused and does nothing to stop the fight.

Christa swings at me. I duck and slam into her. She falls and I hover over her but I don’t hit her again because I’m scared one of her sons might intervene and kick the crap out of me. Luckily, Troy steps in and holds me back, shielding me in the process.

Christa curses at me, vowing all sorts of things. ‘I will cut you. I will feed you to the dogs. I will shoot you.’

Knowing Troy has everything under control, I kneel before Austin. ‘What the hell are you doing here, Austin?’ I whisper, horrified at the sight of his battered face.

‘Payton,’ he rasps, ‘I came to check up on you – see if you’re okay.’

‘What? Why?’

‘You looked so upset the other day, I was worried, okay?’

I’m so touched. Such valour, such gallantry, such bravery, such ... a dumb idea. Was he out of his friggin’ mind? He’s unarmed and outnumbered and as for his ability to fight – Christa can probably topple him. But it’s the thought that really counts and my heart soars at his foolishness.

‘Austin, I …’ I stop and glance at Diablo dragging on his cigarette, watching us through slanted eyes. ‘Eh, come with me.’ As I help him to his feet, I curse myself for crying in front of him the other day. My misery may cause his death. I try to untie his hands but the knots are too tight.

‘Payton, what kind of a man would I be if I did nothing, huh? I wanna talk to him, tell him to take
me
instead.’

Wow! Even my own father didn’t care enough to do something like this. I thought about the things I wrote about him in my diary – He’d better not read them. I only wrote that stuff expecting to die.

‘Austin, honey,’ I whisper, squeezing his hand, ‘that’s so brave and I’m like, so grateful for you risking your life for me, but ... I’m okay. Really.’

‘Bullshit!’

‘I am,’ I insist, even though I sound unconvincing even to myself. I glance at Troy. He meets my gaze, his face inscrutable. After what happened on the cliff the other day, I’m sure he will not vouch for me. He probably thinks I’m one helluva fruitcake.

I glance at Diablo - he’s pacing and his drags on his cigarette are growing longer.
Crap! I need to get Austin out of there. Christa is cracking her whip on the ground.

She turns to Diablo and says, ‘This man, he not respect you or your home, Diablo. All the other men ’round you, they see and they too will not respect you. You must punish the gringo for daring to come here. You must make him pay for the dishonor he bring to Diablo name, Diablo’s home, Diablo country, eh?’

Riled by Christa’s poignant words, Diablo bristles.

‘Take this,’ she says handing him the whip.

To my horror, Diablo accepts the whip and the crowd frissons.

Christa smiles. ‘At least three lashes, eh?’

Diablo nods.

Three lashes. Fuck! I need to act quickly.

‘Stay here,’ I say to Austin and stride up to Diablo. ‘Don’t do it, Diablo,’ I say. ‘Don’t!’

Diablo shakes his head and thumps his chest with his fist. ‘He come here, he challenge me …’

‘No he didn’t. He’s just ... he’s like, worried about …?’

‘Diablo, there is something going on between Gringa and this man,’ Christa interrupts, her voice filled with excitement. ‘There is. I see it.’

Diablo’s head snaps to look at me. ‘Who is he to you, eh? Your man? Your boyfriend? Eh? Who is he?’ He throws down the whip and draws out a gun.

‘No! He’s ... he’s family. They all care, okay? But they don’t know how to handle this. He’s doing what any brother will do for his sister.’

A load of crap, but I’m desperate to save Austin. No other man has done something like this for me before and I’m touched. I mean, I’ve never believed I was important enough or beautiful enough or worthy enough to be rescued by a man, let alone a man as handsome as Austin. If I wasn’t so afraid, I’d probably feel a little like Helen of Troy.

‘You shouldn’t be upset, Diablo,’ I say, looking directly at him. ‘I’m here. ‘You wanted me here and here I am. So just let him go. Call off Christa and your dogs right now. I don’t want him hurt.’

‘No !’Christa say. ‘Diablo, there
is
something between Gringa and this man. I tell you there is. I am a woman, I know it.’

‘You’re fucking crazy,’ I say.

Diablo’s piercing stare and silence unnerves me even more, and I feel a wave of panic.

‘Diablo, it hasn’t been easy for me. Like, you’ve seen for yourself, huh? My family has seen it too. Austin’s not challenging you – he’s here to ... negotiate with you.’

‘Negotiate?’

‘Yeah. He wants to ... to ask that you ... you like, take him ... and ... you know - let me go.

He cocks his head to one side and looks at me mouth agape. ‘Take
him
? I not gay!’

‘No, no, no, he didn’t say ... ’

He snorts and I see a twinkle in his eye.

Thank God he’s amused, not angry.

‘Cut him loose, Diablo.’

He shakes his head. ‘No.’

Christa is thrilled with Diablo’s answer and claps her hand, her eyes glazing over. ‘Kill him, Diablo! Don’t whip him, just kill the Gringo who challenge you. Kill him!’

Diablo takes a step towards Austin.

‘Diablo! Diablo! Diablo!’ she chants.

I grab his sleeve. He spins around and glares at me.

I stare right back, sucking in my panic for Austin’s sake. ‘You touch him, I walk. Okay? Then you can shoot me, throw me off a cliff – whatever – I give a fuck after that. You’ll be doing me a favor. Hurt him, and you’ll have to say
adios
to me. I mean it. I really do.’

I’m taking a huge gamble here, talking real big. He could call my bluff and kill both of us right now. I have no choice
but
to gamble. I resist the urge to wipe off the beads of sweat on my forehead.