GRINGA (50 page)

             
Idiot! I run out of the run. Both of them follow me.

             
‘And you ... you bitch, you!’
Paris
screams.

  
             
‘
Paris
, look, I’m sorry about this. Didn’t mean for this to like, happen. I had no idea about  ... about anything
he’s
saying. Please  ... you have to believe me!’   

    
             
She snorts. ‘You just can’t get over the fact that he’s with me now, so you have to resort to ... to underhanded things like this, you mean, spiteful, little tart!’

  
             
‘Hey, you got it wrong! I don’t want your husband. I didn’t ...’

             
It’s no use - she’s hurt and upset so nothing I say is going to make a difference to her right now. 
             
I fling angry glances at
Austin
. The mother fucker put me in this position.

  
             
My father enters the room. Finally. Thank God. He is followed by everyone else.

             
‘
Paris
, it’s not Payton’s fault,’ my father says. ‘She was really ... ’

  
             
‘Don’t you take her side, you fucking moron!’ she snarls at my father.

    
             
‘Hey!’ I cry. ‘Don’t you talk to my father like that! This has nothing to do with him. It’s between you and me, okay?’

    
             
Paris
ignores me. ‘I’m sick of your daughter and all the attention she constantly craves and constantly demands. All this family ever knows is Payton! Payton! Payton! She’s got no respect for my marriage. Look at her behaviour. And you – you do nothing, but …but
pander
to her.’

    
             
Pander? To
me
? That’s it! ‘
Paris
, I’ve been through crap and I’ve taken crap since I’ve arrived here. I don’t need this right now so I’m leaving.’ I turn and look pointedly at Depp.

  
             
‘You disgust me!’ she spits behind me. ‘You and your hoodlums that have now become your family. You’re nothing but a shifty hoe.’

    
             
‘Aw fuck off! You’re the hoe here.’

  
             
Paris
looks like she’s going to explode. ‘Mooom!’ 

    
             
‘Now Payton, that is just not true,’ Elaine says. ‘You shouldn’t be saying ...?’

   
             
‘Elaine, just fuck off, okay! I’m not six. You can’t bully me anymore and you can’t play favourites anymore.’

             
‘Favourites! I have
never
played favourites ... ’

             
‘You have Elaine! You’ve
always
taken her side and allowed her to have her own way. Me, I got nothing and I was nothing to you. You gave everything to her and zilch to me. No coming out balls, no society introductions, no designer ball gowns, nothing!’

    
             
Elaine clutches her chest. ‘That is not  ... ’

   
             
‘Oh yeah? Did you intervene when she flirted with all my boyfriends I brought home? Did you say anything when she moved in on my boyfriend when I went to
Europe
? No, ’cos Princess Paris wanted him and whatever Princess Paris wants, she gets. Thanks to you.’

  
             
Elaine bristles and turns to my father. ‘Richard ….control your daughter, Richard.’ 

  
             
My father says nothing and I hope it’s because he’s agreeing with me.

    
             
‘You know
Paris
, I have to admit, I pretended I didn’t care when this asshole here dumped me,’ I say, jerking my head towards
Austin
. ‘Because – well, to admit I was hurt, was kinda painful. But I hurt. I cried at your big, beautiful, society wedding, ’cos you stole my
dream
. Fuck, when you exchanged wows – that killed me.’

             
Paris
stiffens. ‘You …’

             
‘You knew I was hurting, but you didn’t give a crap. Funny thing though - you were never really secure with
Austin
, were you? If you were, you wouldn’t have tried so hard to keep him away from me.’

   
             
‘You’re delusional!’
Paris
screeches, ‘Fucking craz …’

    
             
‘That’s why you quickly had a baby – to cement things. You knew
Austin
still dug me and you like, couldn’t risk it. You were petrified he would wake up one day and discover just how you manipulated him and your ass would be history, right? Maybe he’d even want to hook up with me. You were scared of that, right?’ 

   
             
I whirl around to look at
Austin
. ‘Don’t get any ideas. I’ve moved on in a big way after that and I really don’t have any feelings like that for you. You hurt me too. So you’re just a fucking asshole anyway.’

  
             
‘Now Payton,’ my father says, ‘let’s lose the language, shall we?’

  
             
‘Yeah Payton,’
Paris
mocks, ‘save it for the
High
Chaparral
.’

    
             
‘I’m sorry,’
Austin
says softy. ‘I didn’t know you hurt. I’ve made a huge mistake,’ he says, shaking his head. ‘Huge.’

             
‘What the fuck
Austin
?”
Paris
screams. 

     
             
I stare at him, unsure what to make of his words. Actually, I know exactly what he means. All those years when I dreamed of him telling me that he loved me and that he was sorry he made a mistake and that they only reason he married Paris was because she was pregnant (That part was not true. She did not fall pregnant until after they married, as she wouldn’t be seen dead with a huge stomach on her wedding day.) and that he had finally come to his senses.

             
The only part that was yet to come true about my dreams, was
Paris
dying in a car crash and me being there to comfort
Austin
and eventually marrying him and living happily like
Snow
White
and
Shrek
.

             
But now, I definitely don’t want that dream to come true because I want to be with my darling Diago. 

     
             
‘Too late
Austin
. You’re stuck with her.
Alcatraz
has re-opened.
You got life. With
her
. If you murdered a priest you’d probably get 20 years, you know.’

    
             
‘It’s not too late,’ he says, his voice urgent.

    
             
I shake my head.

             
‘I hate you Payton!’
Paris
cries. She looks at Elaine. ‘To hell with her and her money. I don’t want her around!’

             
Elaine blushes and mumbles, ‘What ...What are you talking about, dear?’ 

    
             
So that’s it – they were after the money Diago was giving me. ‘“Money”? What money? I don’t have any money.’

             
‘Yes you do!’
Paris
says.

             
‘You got it wrong,’ I sneer. ‘But why, when
Austin
earns a shit load of money?’

             
‘’Cos he’s a tight-wad,’
Paris
scoffs. ‘He gives me Jack. Counts every cent.’

             
‘Judging from your size,’
Austin
says, ‘
y
ou’re not starving.’

             
‘Oh, piss off!’
Paris
hisses. 

             
‘Whatever!’ I say and turn to Depp. ‘I need to leave. Now.’

             
He nods and steps aside for me. 

    
             
‘Sorry about the Springer show, Depp’ I say, my smile rueful.

             
‘Please, call me Mulder ...’ he mumbles.

             
I groan with embarrassment. ‘Sorry.’

At the ranch, I lie on my bed,
Austin
’s words still echoing in my ears. Frankly, I’m disappointed with my reaction to
Austin
’s declaration of love. Instead of feeling elated and victorious, I feel … sad for him. He’s not happily married to the woman of his dreams and hey, it seems like I’m the one that got away. Wow. 

    
             
But, I’m worried about my father. Elaine and Paris will make his life miserable for not ganging up with them. But maybe he deserves it
for all those years when he did not stand up for me, all those years when I felt alone and abandoned because he lacked the balls to tell Elaine to fuck off and leave me alone.

   
             
All those years when he allowed them to make me to feel downright unattractive and plain. Elaine would talk about what plastic surgery I was going to need when I grow up. I remember a conversation about this when I was just nine: